two - sleeping at last

I was counting the scuffs on my ceiling when Connor walked in. I could feel him standing at the edge of my bed, but I couldn't gather the energy to sit up and look at him. I was lying in my own tears and snotty tissues were scattered across my comforter. I felt like such a mess. A failure.

"Hope... What's going on?" Connor asked. I still didn't look at him. My eyes were fixated on my ceiling as I tried to keep my tears at bay. "H?"

I lazily turned my head towards him, "They know."

Connor closed his eyes and let out a sigh, and then walked over and sat on the edge of my bed. His calloused hand reached out and cupped the side of my face, his thumb running along my jawline. The entire time his eyes never left mine.

Usually, Connor's eyes were the perfect reflection of how he felt. When he was mad, they would be swirling with anger and tension. When he was sad, they would droop and have a certain glaze over them. However, right now, they were empty and I couldn't tell how Connor felt.

"What happened?" He questioned.

"My mom came in and found the test," a lone tear dripped out of my eye and Connor swiped it away with his thumb. "She started to cry and then my dad came in and she told him. T-they told me that I have to have the baby, C. I can't have an abortion." As I finished speaking tears started to fall from my eyes at a quicker rate, too fast for Connor to wipe away.

I thought he might say something, but rather Connor stood up and kicked his shoes off. He walked over to the other side of my bed and pulled the comforter back before sliding in. He wrapped his tan arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest. My head was in the crook of his neck, and I breathed in his scent of sandalwood and vanilla.

Connor had always felt like home, and when he left, it was like I was constantly living in a hotel. I didn't feel as confident without him, without my person. But now that he was holding me against his chest, I finally felt at home again.

"It's going to be okay, H. I'm not going to leave ever again," Connor whispered. He kissed the side of my head and began to rub my back and brush through my hair.

As I listened to Connor's steady heartbeat and relaxed under his touch, my eyes began to droop closed. Right before I fell asleep, I felt Connor tighten his arms around my waist. I was safe. I was home.

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My eyes felt like they were going to fall out of my head. They were dry and swollen from all of my crying.

"Hey," I gazed up at Connor, and he tucked loose strands of my hair behind my ear.

"How do you feel?"

"Like I got hit by a bus." He let out a deep chuckle, and his chest vibrated.

I was so thankful for Connor at this moment. Other than Layla, he was the only person that I could constantly rely on. As I was starting to forget the anger and sadness I felt when he left, things were starting to feel like they did before he left. If I was being completely honest, I was getting too comfortable with Connor.

"If it weren't for you and Layla, I'd be so lost. I'm so glad you came back home, Connor."

A small smile graced his lips, "I'd do anything for you, Hope."

"Even change stinky baby diapers?" I raised my eyebrow.

"That's my favorite thing to do." He sassed.

"Shut up," I laughed and smacked his shoulder.

"Uh, excuse me-" Connor was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He grabbed his phone off of my nightstand and checked the caller ID. His eyes briefly looked down at me before he cleared his throat.

"I gotta go, H. I'm sorry."

"Is everything okay?" I asked. His happy demeanor had taken a 360 turn.

"Yeah, it was just Aspen."

"Oh..." His girlfriend. Fuck.

"I'll see you later." After slipping his shoes back on, Connor pressed a kiss to my forehead and left my room. "Call me tonight."

I nodded my head, dazed, and a little confused as Connor rushed out of my room. My body was already missing the warmth that he gave off. I wish he had been able to stay forever.

Fuck, I was in some deep shit. Here I was, lying in bed with someone's boyfriend. I mean Connor, and I are best friends, but Aspen didn't know me, and I sure as hell didn't know her. How would she feel if she found out that Connor had laid in bed with me wrapped in his arms for hours? Or the fact that he kissed away my tears and rubbed my back?

I didn't know why it was bothering me so much. Aspen was his girlfriend, and he loved her. Connor was just my best friend, and he would never love me. We were never going to be the people we were four years ago. Hell, I was having another man's baby. Connor and I had absolutely no future together.

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hi guys! a shorter chapter here, but things are really starting to heat up. do you think hope has feelings for connor? or is she just holding onto him as she's sinking?

p.s. i just wanted to add that in no way as an author am i romanticizing and or criticizing abortion. it should always be up to the woman to choose the right thing for herself.