chapter 1- replaced

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no youtube video for this one, but 10/10 listen to the song 'i talk to the sky' by maddy estelle when you listen to this song. she's on spotify & apple music.

They always say, "Spring showers bring May flowers", but what nobody talks about is the heat that comes with May.

"Hope, please for the millionth time, close that damn window of yours. You're letting all the cold air out," my dad yelled up the stairs.

I was sitting in my window and appreciating the gentle breeze blowing against my flushed skin. The heat was relentless this year and it wasn't even summer yet.

The same breeze blowing against my skin was causing peaceful ripples in the grass in front of our house and the leaves of the large oak trees rattled in the wind. If I listened closely, I could even hear the wind chimes on the front porch play beautifully. This was the only kind of quiet that I enjoyed.

"Hope Christine, dinner is ready!" And just like that my peace was over.

"I'm coming Momma," I called back as I snapped out of my daze and closed my window. As I left my room though, I fixed my clothes knowing that if I didn't look halfway presentable, my mom would not be very happy.

Downstairs, everyone was waiting for me. The whole table was centered around my father, just like always.

Doug Stryker was a household name and a hometown hero. He was the classic embodiment of a southern man: slightly overweight, bearded, and kind-hearted. My dad had become the mayor right after Hurricane Ophelia and had been reelected every year since. He loved his job with his whole heart but growing up in the public eye has always been rough. Don't get me wrong, our town was nowhere close to a booming metropolis but that only seemed to add to the gossip. Everyone knew everybody's business and being the mayor's daughter intensified everything.

"Bout time you showed up," my oldest brother Tobias laughed. I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him as I sat next to my sister Raeanna.

Everyone always saw my family as some picture-perfect family. The poster family of small southern towns, if you would. The idea wasn't far fetched though. Raeanna had been the popular cheerleader in high school and Tobias had been the first-string quarterback. It looked like my younger brother Beau was following in his footsteps as he was entering high school. We were quite the cliche family, but we had our own problems.

My dad spent so much time in his office and working on bettering the town that my parent's marriage really suffered. There were numerous nights where my parents went at each other's throats, yelling and screaming. We all thought that they would get a divorce and truth be told if it hadn't been for my dad's campaign they probably would have. But things were finally starting to look up.

"So..." Raeanna started, "Have y'all heard the news?"

"What news?" My dad's eyebrows shot up in shock. I'm sure he couldn't believe that something was happening in his town that he didn't know about.

"Oh... nevermind then..."

"Raeanna, c'mon now you've got the whole table waiting."

"The Hardings are moving back." She mumbled quickly and quietly and I didn't really understand.

"What? Speak up," my dad spoke with a gruff voice and it showed what little patience he truly had.

"The Hardings are moving back."

I could feel the color drain from my face and my stomach jolt as Raeanna said those five words. God, I felt sick.

"Raeanna!" My mom's voice was shrill and her eyes were wide with caution as she looked at my father.

"Where'd you hear this?" We weren't talking to our dad anymore, rather the mayor. His tone was professional and lined with authority. He was pissed.

"I-I saw it on Katie's social media. She was posting all about it."

The whole table was silent at this point, and I could only imagine what everyone was thinking. Things were about to change massively around here.

I was still trying to catch my breath. I didn't understand. I couldn't believe they were coming back. I never thought that I would see them again. I never thought I would see him again.

The Hardings had been long time family friends. My dad and Mr. Harding were friends in high school and even roomed together in college. Connor Harding, the only son of the family, had been my best friend, since the beginning. We were born two weeks apart and always did everything together. From having joint birthday parties to even being each other's first kisses, we were inseparable. But then, the summer going into sophomore year, Mrs. Harding died. She had been the backbone of their family. She had kept everyone sane, and when she died Mr. Harding lost it. He and my father got into some gigantic argument about a loan, and within the next three days they packed up and left. It was the last time that any of us had heard from the entire family. Or so I thought.

I had never gotten to say goodbye to Connor and it absolutely broke my heart. Truthfully, I had just gotten past his absence almost three years later.

"All y'all listen to me right now," my dad spoke, "I don't want none of y'all talking to them. I don't even want you near them. Do not do it." He made eye contact with all of us as he voiced his demand. We all nodded, there was no point in arguing.

The rest of dinner had mild conversation, only on polite topics that were mostly about my dad. Everything was always about him.

As dinner wrapped up, I helped my mother carry the dirty dishes into the kitchen and we began to wash them in silence. She would scrub them and I would dry them. It was a routine that we had been doing my whole life.

"Hope," my mom commented while handing me a plate to dry, "How are you holding up?"

"Momma I-"

"No Hope. Honestly," she took the plate from my hands and grabbed a hold of my face, looking into my eyes.

"I'm scared Momma," my voice broke.

All of the heartbreak was rushing back. The unanswered calls and texts. The sleepless nights that I stayed up worrying about Connor. Where was he? Was he okay? Those questions soon turned to 'Did he miss me?' and 'Did he already have a new best friend?'. But then I remembered that this was the 21st century, and if Connor had wanted to talk to me he would have. While that broke my heart, even more, it brought me the closure I needed to move on. He didn't miss me. He didn't want me.

"Baby, I know. I wish I could help," she sighed and engulfed me into a hug.

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. I hated the quiet, but there was no use in talking if neither of us knew what to say.

"Momma, what am I going to do," I finally asked.

"Hope... I don't know. It's shocking for all of us, nobody knew that they were coming back." My mom rubbed at the wrinkles that gathered on her forehead and closed her eyes. She was a beautiful woman, my mom, but you could tell that stress had aged her. Whether it was from raising four kids or being married to the mayor and constantly being scrutinized, it had gotten to her.

"Do you think he'll talk to me?"

"Baby, I wish I could tell you the answer to that," she brushed a few strands of hair behind my ear and wiped my eyes.

I knew that there wasn't a direct answer she could give me. I knew that. But in my head, my mom knew the answers to everything. If I was scared or needed advice, I could go to her and I would leave feeling better. This time was different and I knew I couldn't do anything, and I knew she couldn't do anything either.

My mom kissed me on the forehead as I told her goodnight and left the kitchen. The breaking news had left me exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep away all of my troubles.

My dad and brothers were watching something on ESPN in the living room and I gave them a small smile as I made my way up the stairs. Raeanna left to go to her room almost immediately after dinner ended and I hadn't seen her since.

When I got to my room, I sank into my bed. It didn't make sense why he was coming back now. I know it probably wasn't his choice, but his timing was truly horrible. Junior year would be ending in less than a month and then it would be senior year. Senior year! This was supposed to be the time of my life.

Connor and I had always fantasized about the day we would become seniors. The highest of them all. Now he decided to move back? I groaned and pulled my pillow over my head.

"Hope?" There was a knock at my door and Raeanna tentatively stuck her head in. Her eyes were red and her blonde hair was thrown into a messy bun on top of her head. She had been crying.

She sat on the end of my bed and picked at the fabric of my comforter. I gnawed on my bottom lip as I stared at the wall above her head. Neither of us knew what to say.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Rae... If you knew, I just don't know why you didn't tell me." The hurt was seeping through my voice, whether I wanted it to or not. Raeanna and I had always been close but when Connor left, our bond only strengthened, so it was blowing my mind that she kept this from me.

"I knew for less than 24 hours Hope! C'mon! This is not fair." She scoffed.

"No Raeanna, this absolutely fair. I didn't even know that you talked to Katie! How long have you been talking to her?" I could feel my face getting red and my heart rate rising. I was angry. Livid even.

"Katie and I were older, okay? We had just graduated high school, we were going to the same college. Hope..."

"So what are you saying? You never stopped talking to her?" I asked her incredulously.

"Hope."

"Get out."

"Listen Hope. Just for a minute," she pleaded.

By now we were both standing up and our voices were getting louder with each sentence we spoke.

"You watched me mope around for months," I snarled, "I had just lost my best friend and you... you knew exactly where he was. God, Raeanna its been three years!"

"We thought it would be better if we made sure y'all didn't talk to each other. It's not like Momma and Daddy woulda even let you near him."

"That's not your choice! I was fifteen! I could decide who to be friends with!" I was pacing my room and pulling at my hair. I wouldn't be surprised if I was bald by the end of this conversation.

"Well guess what Hope," Raeanna walked up to me and got up in my face, " I did it anyway."

"You're a fucking bitch," I spat. She clenched her jaw and then said something that left my heart in a million pieces.

"It doesn't matter anymore Hope. He's got a new best friend, a girlfriend even. He's happy. He doesn't miss you. Think about that, let that sink in. You've been replaced."

As those words left her mouth I could've sworn that my heart stopped beating. Everything stopped. I felt like my heart had just been stomped on and thrown away.

"Nothing to say now, huh? That's what I thought," she laughed and slammed my door. But even though she was gone, her words kept ringing in my head, 'You've been replaced'.

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First chapter :)

Its honestly been so long since I've written and I'm really liking where this book could go!! I hope y'all liked it? Please add it to your library if you did! And don't forget to vote and comment!!

xoxoswaldo

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