Chapter 14

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I raise my eyebrows and just… stare at the animosity the chick shows.

I've been hated before, but there were reasons for that, like the colour of my skin, me being a major asshole, or because I banged the wrong dude, shit like that.

This time, it feels like she doesn't have much to do with me personally. It doesn't even seem to be just about me being a human.

I haven't done anything yet, have I? How would she know what kind of person I am and will be?

Oh, I see. It's not me she hates specifically.

"Are you crushing on Aladdin or something? Is that it? Did I steal the man you fancy?" I ask and roll my eyes.

The woman blinks rapidly and seems to understand what I said as her cheeks change into a deep scarlet.

"This Minne would… would never lust for the Shurak!"

Oh boy. Have I ever heard a lie so blatant?

"Hey, I'm fine with you hating me because of that. Otherwise, it would be kinda shit luck that you just dislike me for what species I am. But don't stir shit up just because you can't get the dick you want."

I move to her face and poke my finger on her chest. "Especially when the dick you want is mine. I don't share, sweetie."

She stutters, flustered and embarrassed. "S-so vulgar!"

I fist my hands on my hips, and it feels like my eyes want to escape my skull with my eye rolling spree. "Look, I am what I am, and you can have your little riot about it, but don't you come after what's mine. Just remember that I know how to use a gun."

I look at the two other birds, who are gaping at the loud one, and me.

"Why are you two joining in with her? 'Cause I'm 'human'? Do you even know me? I want you to hate me when I give you something to hate on," I say and scoff at their suddenly teary eyes. "Tsk, tsk. You might want to think about who you're siding with or make your own opinions."

I take a deep breath, finished with my outburst, and go back to the room I was in.

I turn back at them at the door and point at the three chicklets. "Get me someone else to finish whatever this is."

I gesture at myself and shoo them off, and then slam the door on their faces.

How fucking adolescent of them. It's like I went back to high-school. Too bad for them that I don't want to be in their drama.

I sit on the chair I've been sitting on most of the day and huff. I'm not angry. I won't get angry.

Ohh… that bitch got on my nerves. Even thinking about wooing my Aladdin?

Whoa, I haven't been this pissed in a while. I didn't think that this could make me this annoyed. I'm not the jealous type, no, I'm fucking possessive.

I rescued that doe from prison and kept him alive. Me. And to have that kid trying or even thinking about taking him from me?

Not my goddamn watch.

That kid can pine for him all she wants but he's mine. I chose him and he chose me.

I kick on a towel on the floor just to have some of my anger out. I should've just slammed a shovel on her face. The chick is just infatuated and amazed at Aladdin's beauty. I mean who in their right mind isn't? I'm getting too angry about a teenager… I think she's a teenager. Hell, maybe she's a young adult, or older, but amazingly young-looking and pretty and—

I get up, take the towel, and throw it hard against the wall and huff at it. I slump back down and sigh to my hands.

OK. I might be a little stressed.

I don't have a clue what's going on and the birds weren't being very helpful. I don't have anyone telling me what the fuck is happening and it really is making me anxious.

I always know what's happening. So why is this supposedly simple thing so difficult to understand? It's just a ceremony.

A wedding ceremony. Oh god. I'm getting married?

Oh fuck. I don't think I've ever been the marrying kind. And on top of that I'm to be an Empress? Fuck if even know what that means.

Shit this is a bit too much at a time. Ever since I met Aladdin everything has been… too much.

Aladdin was a bit too much of a looker, the prison shit was a bit much, the forest — fuck the forest…

Everything. Too much at the same time. My head is telling me to run the fuck away, but I don't want to. I stare at my hands and start to pick the cuticles.

It's a bit sobering to think that I will be ruling over… ha, the planet Earth?

If these girls are an example of how people are going to react to me, it's a bit of a tough cookie, even for me. I don't want a whole species of people hating me.

Ugh. I just want to go grab my Bambi and fly to the moon to escape this shitshow… I could literally do that. I have a spaceship and I have the skills to fly it.

Yeah, fantasies aside, I think I'll stick to being the pretty chick on the side. Aladdin can handle the ruling.

I blow out a long breath and slap my cheeks. Fuck wallowing in this shit.

I go to the door and smash it open. The birds are gone and the empty hallway meets me instead. I wrap the stupid bathrobe I'm wearing tighter and stroll towards the command centre.

If you want shit done or explaind, you go and find the fuck out, right?

The first step to the command centre gives me an audience of three Zohra men.

"What's up?" I say and force a smile. "My chicklets are gone and they were unwilling to tell me anything, so I came to the big boys."

They all stare at me wide-eyed. The first one to move is the guy on the commander's seat by covering the eyes of the one sitting next to him.

"Sh-Shuran," the dude stutters and closes his eyes as well. "She is not… not allowed to be prancing here when the ceremony is on its way."

Prancing? Allowed? Oh fuck off, I'm not going to take the same vows Aladdin has.

"I'm wearing a robe, it's more than you guys wear isn't it? Whatever, tell me what the fu—" I pause.

I should probably not be angry at these dudes, they don't seem to be hostile. I need to calm my tits.

"I'm a bit lost," I say, plastering a polite smile. "The women who were supposed to be helping me are gone, so I need someone to tell me what to do and where I'm supposed to go."

"Shuran," someone monotonous says behind me.

I turn to one of the Karshok's, this time it's not the tree-up-his-ass Dekar, but the antlers.

"Hello there," I say with a wave. "Do you know what I'm supposed to do?"

He stares at me blankly and tilts his head. "The three females who were supposed to help came to this Karshok and spoke rudely."

"Talked shit about me, huh?"

He looks behind me at the men, and then his mouth grows thin with his nod.

"The Shuran is not to be seen preparing for the ceremony by unwed males," he says and nods backwards. "Could she follow this Karshok back to her room? She is only to be seen by the Shurak at her… prettiest."

He glances at the turd that is my hair and tilts his head. "This karshok shall escort her to her room."

I sigh in exasperation and gesture at him to move. "Yep, let's go hide me."

I follow the dude back and as we enter the room I already want to pluck the bells off. How anyone can live while listening to that shit constantly on their ears is beyond me.

"So, I gather you're married? Otherwise the other jingle-bear would've come."

He nods and shuts the door behind him. "The females came to this Karshok and asked for… absurd things. This Karshok understood that they were rude to the Shuran."

I cross my arms. "I honestly don't care about those birds right now. I'm supposed to be pampered and taken to a ceremony, aren't I?"

"Yes, but it is imperative that she knows that the females are stripped from their rank and removed from her service," he says, his voice monotonous and aloof. "If she wants —"

"My guy, could you call me by name or something? I'm getting confused about who you're talking about."

A tiny smile nudges his lips and he looks to be gone to the dreamland.

I snap my finger and he looks at me again.

"This Karshok is sorry, he remembered something Vishnak said," he says and shakes his head. "This Karshok can only call the Shuran by her title. Nobody, but the Shurak, should have her name on their lips."

Uh. Alright. That has to change, my girls call me by name.

"Okay then, what were you saying about the birds then?"

He stares at me for a moment, and I can see the gears turning in his head.

"Birds… the females? Yes, the Shuran can add additional punishment than what our laws demand. This Karshok doesn't know specifically what they said, but if she doesn't see this as enough punishment, she can say it now," he says, looking nonchalant about this whole thing.

I sit on my chair and cross my legs. "So if I said I want them dead?"

"They shall be," he says bluntly. "Is it her order?"

I shake my head and bulge my eyes at him. "Dude they were just talkin' smack a bit. It's what teenagers do… they are teenagers, right?"

The guy thinks for a moment, then he nods. "They're around fifteen and twenty earth cycles."

Is twenty a teenager anymore? It must've been the nutter.

"Right, well I think it's fine," I mumble. "Speaking of ages, and just out of curiosity… Do you know how old the Shurak is?"

I haven't thought about age, but I'm a bit curious. Dear god, is Aladdin in his early twenties too?

"We age differently to humans," he says and huffs slightly. "We cannot speak of the Shurak's matters, even when the Shuran is the one asking."

"Oh come on!" I get up and almost smack his arm, but I kinda don't want to. He looks a bit more intimidating compared to the others.

I guess I'll have to ask Aladdin about his mysterious self. Fucking tramp with the lamp with tons of mysteries.

"This Karshok asked the eyes to go to Mah'mert. They will choose other females to aid the Shuran, so we only need to wait for a while," he says and continues his statue posing.

"Eyes? You mean the rude Karshok, yeah?"

Dekar. My newly found arch nemesis.

He narrows his eyes and nods a tiny bit. "If he has been rude, she should tell the Shurak."

"Oh, he smacked his forehead," I say, chuckling. "It was funny as hell. You guys probably don't have any pain receptors there, though… Do you?"

The dude's eyes widen and I reconsider. Maybe the spot is painful? How? It's hard as fuck. Although, considering their useless horn biology, it wouldn't surprise me.

"One would have to hit hard to feel it. But the Shurak doesn't punish people himself," he says. "It is our job to be his limbs, it is also… ineffective if he does so."

I snort at the last part. Aladdin's flimsy ass slapping a bigger dude like him… yeah, ineffective seems right. Dekar was also just surprised by the slap.

"Are you mocking your Shurak?"

He tilts his head. "It is the truth. He is not allowed to do much, so he isn't powerful."

"Alright, give the eyes-boy a hard smack when you see him, yeah?" I smile and the moment the dude nods I smile wider.

Dekar can get smacked hard. Noice.

"Anyway, could you fill me in on what is happening and this"—I point at my hair—"is this really traditional?"

The Karshok looks at the turd and shakes his head slowly. "This Karshok has not seen… that, on anyone's head before."

Awesome. The birds pranked me. 

"Can you give the birds your most menial tasks for like… a couple months or something?"

Cause fuck 'em.

"As the Shuran orders," he smoothly says. "They shall clean the animal pens."

I could get used to this. I'll be the most power-hungry Empress they've seen. Everyone will be shovelling shit by the time I'm done.

I need a hitlist.

Okay I'm starting to be the evil witch, I should stop my train of thought before I actually turn into the dark side.

"Can I make you give Jafar a smack? Uh, the Shurak's brother?"

It's a humorous question, but important info for the future, right? Just a little silly thing. A core memory if you will.

The Karshok stares at me intently and does the slowest shake of his head.

"He is the reserve Shurak until she and the Shurak have an heir," he says slowly, like he's carefully choosing his words. "If the Shuran has a problem with… Uh, ask the Shurak about these things."

Did he just give up answering? Wow. Is the dude getting annoyed by me?

"But he's mute," I say innocently.

He looks at me, obviously done with me. "He can speak freely to the Shuran."

Aight. He's done playing.

Wait a minute.

"An heir?" I ask, baffled. "We can have children with Zohra?"

"She wouldn't be able to be the Shuran if it wasn't so," he says dully.

"Are you aware that not all humans can have kids?"

"Yes," he says and scans me. "We have technology to fix that. Does she need it?"

What in the fucking what? These guys, who don't have the faintest clue about the med-pod… have a way to do what now? Yeah, I'll never figure these guys out.

"Fix? Okay, sure…" I'm pretty sure you can't 'fix' some things. "No, I don't need it… but what if, hypothetically, I wouldn't want kids?"

Antler sighs heavily. "This Karshok doesn't want to speak of this."

"Well tough luck dude, you're the only one here."

"This Karshok doesn't have the answers the Shuran seeks," he says and rubs his face. "Does she not want Kits?"

I cross my arms and scrutinise him. He really is uncomfortable to be here, even more than Dekar was.

"I didn't say that, I'm just asking," I say and twist my mouth. "Do you not like me?

"This Karshok does not deal much with humans," he says and matches my crossed arms. "Humans are confusing."

Wait a fucking minute. This dude is the one who had that human chick next to him.

"Isn't your wife the human that was next to you at the… culty judging thing?"

He huffs and nods. "Yes, she is my wife."

I don't get this dude. I don't get the chick either if she's married to this grump.

"Okay then, you're married to a human, so why not—"

The door gets hammered twice and I can practically see the light get back to the Karshok's yellow eyes.

He turns quickly and cracks the door open. "Karshok," he says with a nod.

I try to peer from behind him, but hearing Dekar repeat the title makes me lose interest.

"The Minne are here," Dekar says.

Antler turns to me and nods. "Shuran."

I give him a lazy wave as he leaves the room. "Remember the smack!" I yell.

The door opens again and two tall Zohra women enter with smiles. One has goat horns and the other small nubs.

"Shu—"

A loud fleshy smack resonates through the open door, followed by a hiss.

Ah. Power… There's nothing sweeter. I have achieved my revenge.

The women look at each other and frown. One goes to check the hallway and comes back with a confused expression.

They turn to me and bow. "Shuran."

"Sup. Don't mind the big guys, it's something I requested," I say and sit up straight, and then gesture at my hair. "Could you get rid of this mess for now?"

"Of course," one with goat horns says, giving the turd dubious looks. "What is this? Is this her… normal hairstyle?"

"This is what the bir… previous helpers did," I say and give her my best wtf-face. "It's a steaming pile of shit."

They both smile and start pulling out random pins and yarn pieces from my hair.

"Today is the day the Shuran will look her prettiest, as she is only for the Shurak's eyes tonight," the nubby horns says. "Does she need advice on how to fuck?"

I almost choke on my spit and cough out. "You guys just call it fucking? Why the hell does Aladdin call it intercourse?"

"Aladdin?" The goat horns asks.

"It's my nickname for the Shurak," I say and urge her to explain.

"Remember when you learn his esteemed name, to never tell it to a soul except her offspring," she says solemnly. "But yes, the Mah'mert raised the Shurak after our planet fell and he lost his parents, so whatever words he uses must come from them. They are a bit more… traditional."

I need to fix his words, no witch is gonna throw me these curveballs any more. I need to be vigilant.

Then, the gears of my head start rolling with steaming speed. These women are talking to me and are so far being polite, so I could get stuff out of them.

"The planet you guys lived on… How long ago was that?" I ask.

I need to know. I gave myself the first grain of the thought of Aladdin's age and now I just need to know it.

He did say he was… older? I specifically asked if he was in prison and he did a weird gesture, but it included a nod, I remember that.

Oh no, what if he really is in his early twenties?

"It is difficult to calculate… maybe around forty earth cycles ago?" Goat horns says.

Wait what? He's in his forties?

"The Shurak was a teen when it was destroyed," the nubbed one says with a smirk. "But Zohra age differently."

Oh she catched on to what I was calculating. I give her a subtle thumbs up.

So Aladdin is older than me… I was preparing myself to be his sugar mommy, but I guess not. I'll have to start calling him gramps at this point.

Fuck though he has some god-like genes.

It's kind of funny how he acts when he's around his fifties. I keep finding things that make him even cuter.

"What does it mean when you say you age differently?" I ask.

The nub-lady rubs her cheek and shrugs. "You humans have a lifespan of around a hundred years, but we… live longer around two hundred or more earth years. We mature faster, but we don't age much after our maturing ceremony. "

"Maturing ceremony?" The fuck is that?

"The Mah'mert helps guide us through our minds, to find our purpose and help us stabilise our emotions."

I squint at her in confusion. "Is that why you're all so… stoic? Why would you want to be nearly emotionless?"

The goat horned, the older looking one, speaks this time, "If we do not go through it, we become unstable. Some Zohra lose their sanity and become… a liability, extremely dangerous."

"Oh… okay," I mutter. "But Aladdin isn't like you guys."

"The Mah'mert's power is unable to touch the Shurak and his kin, it has been so for centuries. We do not know why, but they're immune to both their powers and the deterioration of their mind."

"Okay." I don't know what else to say. Interesting? I'm not going to even try to wonder about it. Maybe it's the godlike genes with actual alien-god blood.

"So could you tell me a bit about how y'all came to Earth?"


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