chapter 19

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I didn't realise how much I needed him until I woke up and I knew he wasn't here anymore.
I need Harry to come back...

I wake on the hard floor and I ache when I stand, my head throbs and I know it's going to be hard to get through the day.
I relied on him too much and I didn't even know it. How could this have happened?

I walk into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water and down it. I can't even think about eating right now.

I climb up to my room and drop myself onto my bed. I grab my phone and all of a sudden I remember I had school and I was going to be late if I didn't leave now. 'Fuck it' I thought.

I got a call from Max, I was going to text him I was feeling 'ill' but he raced me too it.

*Sup Rosie, I might be late again today but I'll be there at break, is that cool?*

*actually Max I'm not feeling so good* my voice was hoarse and I knew he could tell I was lying

*Have I ever told you that you're the worst liar?*

*yes multiple times actually*

*so cut the crap Rosie who hurt you?* I felt as if my throat had closed up and I couldn't talk without it shattering.

*it's n-nothing I'm fine*

*I know you're not fine*

*just leave it Max, I don't want to talk about it*

*You're gonna regret pushing me away you know, so might as well just spill it*

*fine...*

I told max about the party, Zayn, how Harry was so pissed that he ended up leaving...

*I'll kill that son of a bitch*

*Max please don't say anything to him, it would just make things worse*

*I'll try not to but it will be extremely difficult , however Zayn? really?*

*I know I'm an idiot*

*I should've warned you about him, and told you to stay away*

*I still probably wouldn't have listened*

*That's true, I'll catch up with you tomorrow maybe? if your up for it- Mr. Johnson is chasing me right now so byeeeeeee-*

He hung up the phone and I laughed at how typical it all sounded, I missed max, but I still couldn't find the power to get out of bed.

I reminded myself why I was here in the first place and it all just came back to me.
Harry's gone.

Harry

I thought of dropping by at Rosie's house this morning but that would just complicate things even more, I've made my decision with her, I told her what I wanted to say- we both need to get over it.

I arrive to school and I don't know how she would be around me or how I'd be around her- it's all just too tense.

It was third period and Rosie was meant to be in my class but she never turned up. I waited for her to walk through those doors and greet me with one of her shy smiles. But no she never arrived.

Throughout that lesson my mind instantly jumped to the worst possible conclusions as to what might've happened to Rosie.
She could've died for all I know, or she's avoiding me.

The thought of her never speaking to me physically hurt. I didn't realize how much Rosie affected me.
What had I done?

I felt so guilty, I regretted saying all those things, I was mad at her and I let my anger control me and it pushed Rosie away.
I needed to know if she was okay.

At lunch I spotted her friend Max and I called him over.

"What?"

"don't 'what?' me, tell me where Rosie is"

"Wouldn't you like to know..."

"what's that supposed to mean?"

" you should leave her alone"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"okay but seriously man she's messed up and it's all because of you"

he began to walk away.

"Max...?"

"yeah"

"just tell me one thing...is she okay?"

"she's fine"

His tone of voice didn't persuade me and I knew she wasn't okay, I could feel it. I left Rosie all alone. I was the one that was supposed to take care of her and I just left...who even does that?

I need to make things right again even if it's the last thing I do.
I just want her back.

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