It was like a dream.

Or Deja Vu' as what they called it. She was standing at the center of the ball room, looking at people in their black and gold attires, sipping their champagnes, chatting and laughing.

It was that night when she went to the Montgomery's and met his world. She was dressed in that beautiful dress and went to that beautiful house. She met old people that listened to her wild stories attentively. She danced with Ian that night where they held hands and looking at each others eyes.

She had a great moment until she saw Emilia walking away from the ballroom, Max could feel her chest getting heavy.

She watch Casey talking to other people when Ian approached her and talked to her for a while before the two of them to dance. Max remembered it very well, too where she watched the two of them. That was also the time when a beautiful young lady-in her teens approached Max. She noticed they had the same blue eyes with Ian.

"How's your night, Max?" the young lady asked her.

"I'm having a great time."

"I'm glad." She smiled.

"Uhm-are you perhaps Ian's sister?"

"Uhuh. How'd you know? Oh wait, why am I asking? People refer to me as Ian's girl version. Pssh."

"Iris, dear. Don't slouch." a soft warning came behind them and had them looking at a beautiful woman who look very young for an early 50s woman. She has a delicate face, soft feminine features and an angelic smile that even got Max got mesmerize for while. And beside her, was a tall man around the woman's age. His face looked rather tired but the sparkle on his blue eyes made Max think that he was a happy and contented man.

"Hello, you're Maxine, right?" the woman asked her and Max could guessed, that she was Ian's mother.

Max remembered how tense she got when she realized that Ian's mother and her sister approached them. She couldn't give an answer without looking at her in the eyes. She was just glad that Ian and Casey approached them after their dance.

And all of a sudden, she was at the center of the room, alone. She could feel her hands tremble as she looked into the eyes starring right back at her. Everybody, including Ian, began to whisper. Louder and louder but Max couldn't understand their words.

She couldn't cope up with them and she felt so out of place. She saw the distance of their worlds.

All she ever wanted to do was cover her ears and shut her eyes.

"Hey,Max!" the shout of her name woke her up. She look around,and gave a heavy sigh, before she looked at her brother's worried face. 

"I just had a dream."

"What sort of dream? It seems to me it was a bad one."

"Probably because of last night's episode. I've been thinking about it the whole night." She answered, sitting on her bed this time. Jesse sat beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "I just thought that maybe my insecurities took the best of me. I blame myself for everything and hurting myself in the process. I just---I shouldn't have left them like that. At least not that way. Especially to Casey and to Emilia and Ian."

Her brother quiet her down. "You didn't do anything wrong. I think what you did was a brave thing to do. People won't judge you for that. When you let out yourself in front of that camera last night-finally, you let go of the things that is hindering you to be happy. They'd understand. Ian would understand."

Max sniff, realizing a tear has once again escaped. The scenes last night made her think of them once again and how much she misses them. It's been almost two months. She hasn't hear from them ever since she left. Maybe they're mad because of what I've done."I just hope so. Thanks, Jesse."

"Actually, there is one thing that you need to know."Jesse said, letting go of her sister.

"What? What is it?"

"Sam! Sandy!"Max called out to them. She ran in great speed that even her brother Jesse, who was running behind her, needed to stop to catch his breath.

"Max!"Sam shouted back. "I came from work and I visited our pub like what I usually do and now.."He stopped and looked at their old white small pub. It was still the same although there were some broken window glasses and some vandalized red spray paint.

Max looked at their pub and was completely shocked to see the red bolded words: SOLD.

"What? No! No!"She cried out. Sandy moved next to her friend and comforted her, shaking her head in sadness.

"Didn't we already told them we'd give little by little?"Jesse said.

"Unfortunately the one who has a lot of money would always get it first." Sam replied in a croak voice before he cleared his throat. But the tears in his eyes, didn't make him convincing to make him sound strong.

"What are we going to do now?" Jesse asked, wiping a tear from his cheek. "Should we tell mom?"

"Of course. We need to tell her. She needs to know what happened to dad's pub."

"What the hell?"Max looked at the empty bed of her mother. "Where is she?"

"What the hell's going on?" Jesse said, slightly getting angrier. "Dad's pub and now this? Is this a joke?"

"Calm down, bro." Sam told his brother.

"No! We've been trying our best to save both dad's pub and mom and now, they're gone. How am I supposed to calm down?!"

"Do you think I don't know that? I'm feeling this same way too, Jesse, but unleashing your anger won't help anything." Sam said as Sandy tried to calm him down.

"Hey, let's ask the nurses here. They should know." Sandy suggested. The eventually agreed.

"What do you mean discharge?"Jesse asked again, his voice raised in both confusion and irritation.

"She was discharge just an hour ago."The nurse calmly answered.

"She can't be discharge yet. We haven't fully paid the bills and her health isn't well yet." Max step up.

"Well, the records here says she's cleared. She has been receiving medications for the past month."

All the three of them looked at each other in great confusion. Who could have possibly give mom medications and paid the bills? Max thought as they proceed to get home. No one knows about mom's condition expect- A name made Max stopped. Could it be?

When they arrived home, true enough, they found their mother sitting on the couch. She was still a bit weak but better than before. When she saw her children's teary eyes, she moved in tears too and spread her arms to embrace them.

"Mom! What-what happened? How?" Sam asked this time, tears streaked in both of his cheeks.

"I'm here now. I've come home." Their mother simply answered.

Max wiped her tears first before she asked, "Who could have help us?"

"You'd be surprised, dear. But for now, why don't we have a little celebration? I missed you."

"Before anything, mom. You have to know what happened to dad's pub." Jesse voiced out.

"Why? What happened?"

"Well, someone bought it now."

They heard nothing from their mother but silence. They could only feel her tight embrace.

"I'm sorry. It's just--I need to go before I'll drown your house with my tears." Sandy said, her eyes already red from crying.

"What are we going to do now, mom?" Max asked right after Sandy left. The pub is gone. We know it's the only thing dad left. That pub was his happiness."

Her mother exhaled and showed them a gentle smile. "You should know, that there are things that we need to let go. I'm not saying that we should forget your father rather we don't need that pub in order to have his memories stay with us. He already has been and will always be."

"I know how much that pub means so much to your father. And so does it to us. But it was never that pub that made him happy. It was us. All your father ever wanted was for us to be happy and to feel safe and to be complete. No need to worry, Everything's going to get better, remember"

With their mother's words, they felt relief and agreed with her.

*That night, she has been shifting her position on her bed. She couldn't sleep no matter what. Starring at the ceiling, Max thought about everything that her family and her friends have told her. She realized that she has been running away from good and wonderful things.

And as she looked outside the window, the moon was on its peek again like that time when she took Ian on a date by the beach. Where she showed him a part of her that she doesn't want him to know. But, he didn't show any kind of disappointment rather, more interest and enthrallment in his eyes.

And she hated it. Or did she really?

Thinking about it now, she didn't hate it. She got scared not only to him but all the things she didn't believe it could happen to her. She blame her past, punishing herself for it. She learned to hate herself because of what she did and she miss these beautiful things.

Maybe right now, I should learn to forgive myself. I can start a new life. Even though that past will always be with me, I could make those scars into something beautiful. Be stronger and be better. That's right, everything's going to be better.

And she felt light in her heart. Like something has taken away from her and she finally smiled.

Hey, dad. How are you now? I'm sorry if we couldn't do anything about your pub. But look at us. Mom's home and for the longest time, we felt so complete. Like there was thorn that has been plucked out from my heart. My eyes were cleared and it felt like I could finally breath again. That's all you've ever wanted for us, right?

I just wondered who could've helped us. We need to thank them-or rather, him.

Maybe joining the contest wasn't exactly an accident. Maybe I was meant to be there and have come to realized these things. I met great friends; my family's has gotten closer than ever; I am actually capable of being loved and lastly, finding myself again.

Max took a pause and had her thoughts drifted away to another place. She thought of them again. She thought of him again.

I wonder how you are now? Are you also thinking of me, too?*

*I imagined Ingrid Michaelson's version of Can't help Falling in love playing.*