It was the next morning and I was at home sat with Lauren.
We were planning on going to watch Barca's final match of the season but Lauren wasn't feeling too well so instead, we decided to stay at home.
Barcelona had basically lost the league. They were also out of the Champions League but it didn't matter. They did have a good season, even if they didn't win anything.
I didn't really watch much football so I wouldn't know but I was proud of them all. Each day, they continue to improve.
Neymar texted me constantly begging me to go to their final match but I was going to stay with Lauren.
It was currently around five pm and I was cooking up some noodles for dinner.
I didn't like cooking much but it was a good skill to have so I did it anyway.
Plus, it was much healthier than takeout foods.
Lauren had 'Thirteen Reasons Why' on the TV. I knew she'd start crying at it because there was a huge rave about it and how emotional it was.
Once the food was done, I got plates out and placed a portion on each plate.
I served Lauren her food and then sat down beside her, eating mine.
Lauren couldn't eat her food properly because she was continuously crying her eyes out over the TV show.
I didn't know how to comfort her so I let her just cry it all out.
"Laur, I think you need some rest." I suggested.
"Yeah I think I do too." She sobbed.
I took her plate, out of her hands and then gave her support in walking to her room.
Her temperature was really high and I could tell that she was feeling weak.
Once I knew she was comfortable in her bed, I went back downstairs to clear up.
I washed the dishes and let them dry. I then cleaned up the mess I made when cooking.
My mind kept trailing off to how my life was so different back in America.
I moved here for the better and that's what happened.
I kept thinking about Liam.
I had so many questions to ask him.
Why did he treat me the way he did and then come running back to me?
I remember the countless times I would sit in my room or in my bathroom and just think to myself: why am I not good enough?
In the end, it wasn't me that was in the wrong. It was him.
I started walking upstairs to my room, with all these thoughts either following me or on my mind.
Even if I got over him, I still thought about him and the time that was spent in his company.
I sat on my bed and pulled out a notebook and pen and started writing.
I wrote my feelings and questions that were unanswered.
Why did you leave me here to burn?
Do you care? Why don't you care?
Tell me who you think you are?
Why would you try and play me for a fool?
Why weren't you, who you swore that you would be?
After putting every word I could down on the paper. I organised them into verses and choruses.
Hours went by and I finally created my own song.
I read it back thoroughly and sang it in my head to make sure it was good enough.
I then started singing it in the tune I thought was perfect.
Why did you leave me here to burn?
I'm way too young to be this hurt.
I feel doomed in hotel rooms, staring straight up at the wall.
Counting wounds and I am trying to numb them all.
Do you care, do you care?
Why don't you care?
I gave you all of me.
My blood, my sweat, my heart and my tears, why don't you care? Why don't you care?
I was there, I was there, when no one was.
Now you're gone and I'm here.
I have questions for you.
Number one, tell me who you think you are.
You got some nerve trying to tear my faith apart
Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool?
I should have never ever ever trusted you
Number three, why weren't you, who you swore that you would be?
I have questions, I got questions haunting me
I have questions for you
I have questions for you (I have questions)
I have questions for you.
I finished the song there for the time being and I would probably get back to it another day.
As I closed my notebook and put it away, an alarming voice made me jump.
"You're so incredibly talented."
I looked towards the door and saw Lauren standing there with a blanket around her.
She still looked ill so I was confused at why she had gotten up out of bed.
"You should be asleep Laur." I said.
"I just woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Then I heard you singing. Did you just write that?" She said.
I nodded my head, "Is it good?"
"Mila, it's beautiful!" She exclaimed.
I smiled at her.
"You should get back to sleep, come on." I walked towards her.
"No, no, no. I need to help you record you singing that song for and Instagram video!" She pushed me back into my room and so I sat down on my bed.
"Come on. Prepare yourself."
I didn't really want to do this but at the same time, I wanted my music to be out there.
After an hour or so, Lauren had recorded a video of me singing, without any instruments, which seemed pretty boring.
Lauren went on my phone and thought through a caption for the video and then posted it.
Likes and comments were flooding my phone and I was so surprised at the amount of people who were awake and active at this time.
"Come on Lauren, you got what you wanted now go to sleep." I said.
I felt like I was a mother talking to her child.
She yawned and stretched.
"Good night Camila." My bestfriend smiled at me.
"Goodnight." I smiled back.
Once Lauren went, I got changed into my pyjamas and sat under my covers with my phone in my hand.
It was currently 11:35pm and I was anxiously waiting for a text from Neymar.
I became so needy for his attention lately. I didn't want to not be around him.
I read through the comments on my Instagram video and liked a lot of them.
I read them all yet kept my eyes fixed on one.
neymarjr: i fall in love with your voice more and more each day
I felt more than just butterflies in my stomach and the smile on my face wouldn't go.
I couldn't help myself anymore and went into the iMessage/text app and clicked on Neymar's name.
As I was just about to start typing a message, I saw the speech bubble with the three dots, meaning Neymar was typing.
I smiled even more.
It was a good thing my read recipient wasn't on.
Neymar: I LOVED YOUR IG VIDEO
I laughed and thought of a reply.
Camila: I'm glad you liked it. I miss you, it feels like I haven't seen you in forever
Neymar: I miss you too but now I'm completely free for you, the season is over!
Camila: Don't get sick of me. I'll be spending most of my time with you
Neymar: I don't think I ever could you know...
Camila: You must do
Neymar: Camila, I really really really really like you. This isn't the best way for me to tell you but it's better late than never
Camila: I really like you too Neymar
Neymar: I can't wait to see you next. I just want you to be in my arms. I'll never ever let you go and I'll never mistreat you
Camila: I trust you won't. Sleep well Neymar. Goodnight x
~
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