VI. reconciliation

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As Jamir caught up to Raelyn, he yelled for her to stop. His commands fell upon deaf ears as she instead, sped up. When she made it to her car, she attempted to slip into the driver seat and close her door but Jamir made it just in time to hinder the door from closing.

"Rae, it's not what you think."

Crazy how the first thing Jamir thought to do, was to make sure she knew, no one had taken her place. Despite the pain and heartache Raelyn was currently putting him through, he was still putting her feelings first. Jamir knew he would have to apologize to Molai, but at the end of the day, Raelyn was still carying his child and he wanted to do what he could to make sure, she didn't get rid of it. If she decided to kill his seed, he wouldn't have a choice but to stop loving her, and he couldn't say that he didn't want Raelyn to be apart of his life.

"Jamir, you're allowed to have someone that appreciates you. All I've done since we broke up is shit on you, and I no longer want to be a burden in your life," Raelyn cried, tears clouding her vision and streaming down her face.

Jamir didn't speak at first because he agreed with her, she had indeed treated him as if he meant nothing to her. While he was trying to give her his all, she always gave him her ass to kiss.

"You could neva' be a burden ma," he promised, pecking her forehead and placing himself in between her legs.

Jamir wrapped Raelyn up with his body and she allowed herself to fall into his embrace. No one held her the way Jamir held her, and no one made her feel as safe as Jamir did, not even her father.

Raelyn continued to let her emotions escape her heart, gripping Jamir and pulling him closer to her. Her head laid on his chest and she swore their hearts were beating in sync.

"I love you, and I'ma come check on you later. Go home, eat, and rest," Jamir spoke, pulling away from her.

Raelyn nodded, sniffling and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She didn't want to let him go, she wanted him to come with her. But being that he didn't, told her that the girl inside was someone to him.

She could only wonder, who?

Jamir headed back inside, taking a deep breath and sighing. Only twenty-four hours ago, he was done with Raelyn. But once again, he was putting his feelings to the side, and putting her's first. Though he was always going to make sure she was good, he would never forget how selfishly, she thought to kill their child.

- Jamir


I found Molai sitting alone on the couches of the sitting area. I sheepishly walked over to her, kind of embarrassed at how I chased Raelyn. I swear Raelyn got me looking more and more pussy every day.

I sat beside her, ready to apologize, but before I could speak she cut me off.

"You don't owe me an explanation, that's your girl. I get it, she's everything and more to you. I don't want to disrespect her, or what ya'll got. So I'ma remove myself from the equation. My mom is outside waiting for me, I'ma head home, and maybe, we should just keep our distance. No hard feelings?"

I was shocked, honestly. These were all things I should have been saying to her yet they never crossed my mind to say. Molai and I were building a bond that I had grown to appreciate, I didn't want to give that up. But I know I need to, in order to be all I could for Raelyn and me.

A breath left my lips, and I placed my head in my hands, "this ain't what I want, but I know it has to be this way."

Lifting my head, my eyes met her's. They were big, a solid color of honey, vibrating with sadness but also optimism. My left hand rose to her cheek, my thumb rubbing at over the soft skin. She leaned into my gesture, closing her eyes for a while, then opening them again. My lips crushed against her, hungry to taste her. Our lips moved in sync as our tongues wrestled against each other, fighting for dominance. This kiss was passionate and exposed everything we felt for one another.

"I'm glad to have met you Mir, I wish you the best. I'm sure you'll be a great father," her infectious smile spread against my lips.

Molai stood, her chill demeanor reappearing as she gave me one last smile, before walking out of the theater.

After a few moments of thinking to myself, I got up and headed to Raelyn's place. When I pulled up, I noticed her mother's car in the yard which was unusual because she's not usually here at this time. I went to her door and knocked before waiting a few minutes and knocking again. The door opened, and Raelyn's mother opened the door, her mocha colored skin glistened with a motherly aura as a smile just as beautiful as Raelyn's graced her lips.

"Hey Mir, come in," she widened the door and moved aside so I could enter.

"Hey Ms. Zoya, where's Raelyn?" I asked.

She looked toward the kitchen with a soft, kind of knowing smile, before looking back to me and speaking.

"We were in the kitchen talking, I think the discussion we were having should include you."

"So you know ab--," I began before she cut me off with, "the baby."

"Yes, a mother always knows."

I followed her into the kitchen, spotting Raelyn sitting at the wooden table. She looked at me with bloodshot eyes, before continuing to play with her fingers. Taking a seat beside her, I took her hand into mine and intertwined our fingers.

"So, first Jamir, I wanna ask you, how are you feeling and what actions do you want to take from here?"

This is what I loved about Ms. Zola, she has always been involved in Raelyn's life. She's always been her support system, and I know if my mother was here, she'd be the same way for me.

"I want to take care of my child of course. I will work things out with school, figure out some sort of plan, but I want this child," I stated.

She nodded in agreeance, "I think we can do this Raelyn. I know you don't feel like you're capable of carrying this baby and achieving your goals, but you can. I will be here every step of the way for both of you. Raelyn, we've been doing this for a long time, you and me, so you know, Mama's got your back through it all."

Raelyn sniffled beside me, removing her hands from mine to cover her face, "Ma, what if this baby hinders me from everything I want in life? I don't want them to feel unwanted and unloved because their dumb mother was stupid enough to get pregnant at seventeen!"

Raelyn's voice boomed throughout the house as she broke out in sobs, this was physically and mentally breaking her, and there was nothing I could do. I want my kid.

"Raelyn," Zola stood and walked over to us, kneeling down and grabbing Raelyn's face in her hands, "look at me! Look me in my eyes and understand me when I tell you, I am you and you are me. I will help you, I will be there for you, we are each other and we will get through all of this together. You do not want to get rid of this child, you will never be the same and you will regret it."

Ms. Zola's voice was laced with emotion, thick with promise, and all I could do was watch. I didn't know how to console and comfort her and I was thankful for Zola in this moment. Raelyn's head nodded before she fell into her mother, clinging to her.

Hours later and we were laid on her bed watching season one of Stranger Things. I had supplied Raelyn with all her favorite snacks, Doritos, Apples and Caramel, Peanut Butter, Hot Fries, and I even got her a chicken nugget platter from Chic Fil A.

"So have you been to the doctor yet?" I asked hurriedly, knowing she didn't wanna talk about it.

She nodded with a small smile, "I'm twelve weeks actually. It's shocking because I'm just now having the symptoms of the first few weeks. I guess the baby was trying to be lowkey."

"Damn, baby was conceived on that night you wanted to be extra nasty," I chuckled.

She side- eyed me before nudging my shoulder and laughing loudly.

"I remember that night. Moms was working that late ass shift as usual trynna get those hours in before Thanksgiving."

I bit down on my lip watching her as she dipped the chicken nugget in the sauce and placed it in her mouth. Just as she picked up another one, I snatched it out of her hands with my mouth. She sat w her mouth dropped in shock.

"Jamir!" She whined as if there weren't a plenty left.

"Shut up crybaby," I laughed mushing her head.

She looked at me with a pout before sitting the tray down, and legit pouncing on me. Them left and right hooks came from every angle and I couldn't tell if she was playing or she was serious. I flipped her over on her back, getting on top of her, using my body to hold her down.

"Jamir, get the fuck off me. Just go home cause you just pissed me off. For real."

I laughed at how upset she was before pulling at the top of her tank top. I pulled it down and watched as her brown boobs escaped the shirt. It had been weeks since I tasted Raelyn and I was honestly craving her.

Her mouth formed an 'O' shape as I latched onto her erect nipples.

"Be gentle," she moaned, "they kinda sore."

I pecked at the breast instead and began to fondle them. Massaging and rotating her nipples between my fingers. Rising up, I removed my shirt and pants before straddling her body on the bed. She laid under me in a tank top and panties. I could see the hunger for me in her eyes as she had reached down to play with her wet pussy. I removed her hand, replacing it with mine and rubbed up and down her opening through her thin panties. Her wetness coated the panty, imprinting her pussy.

My dick hardened at the sight of the mother of my child. She was definitely glowing and everything about her could make me rise at this moment.

Her lips.. the way they parted as she moaned my name.

Her thighs.. the way the jiggled as I held them.

Her chest.. the sweat beads that were falling softly down her body.

"Stop teasing me," she whispered.

I slid her panties to the side, placing my index finger in her hole. She was tighter than usual so I licked around my finger as I thrusted in and out of her. Taking her clit into my mouth, I added another finger, watching as her back arched off the bed.

Soon we were falling deeper and deeper into the exact deed that brought us to where we are now.

Raelyn laid on top of me, out of breath and worn out. She traced circles on my chest as she looked out of her window at the street light that was the only thing laminating her room.

"Mir," she called out.

"Wassup?"

"Who's the girl?" She asked, her eyes still focused on what was beyond her window.

"What girl?" I asked, my heart beginning to beat faster, my palms sweating.

"From the movies today, from the parking lot the other day. Kinda short, nice booty, pretty face, and hair. Who is she?" She asked again, lifting her head to look at me.

"That's Molai, we met like a month ago. She's new here and kind of young so I been showing her around, hanging out with her. She doesn't really have nobody but her mom, so I just thought it'd be nice for her to be able to have somebody," I said, it was the truth. Just not all of it.

"So, she's a friend?"

"Yeah, definitely. But that's all, if that's what you're really trynna ask."

Raelyn looked at me a few moments before leaning up to kiss my lips.

"We've always been honest with each other right? Even with everything that's going on, I've remained honest. All I ask is that you do the same okay?" She smiled.

I nodded, guilt burning my chest.

- Raelyn

My alarm sounded throughout the room waking Jamir and I. I was the first to get up, walking over to my window to see if my mom's car was in the driveway. It wasn't. I went into the bathroom, to pee, brush my teeth and shower. Jamir entered not long after me and started brushing his teeth while I sat on the toilet.

"You know you can't spend the night like that, my mom will lose her shit," I spoke dryly.

"She must've thought I slept in the guest room," Jamir sighed.

"Hell yeah, due she would've busted our asses this morning," we both laughed.

I got up standing beside him at the second sink and grabbing my toothbrush. After we brushed our teeth, we got in the shower together and bathed each other. When we finally got out after an hour of playing around, I tried drying off before Jamir snatched my towel and told me he wanted to get my twelve-week baby bump.

"I wanna do this through each trimester and month we enter," he smiled joyfully.

After putting on my black panty and bra set, I stood in front of my door, placing one hand above my stomach and one hand under. Jamir took a picture from the side and the front and placed them in a album labeled: life by me.

A smile spread across my face while I got dressed, thinking of what joy this baby could bring me. With my mom and Jamir, I feel like this is something I can do while doing everything else I had planned.

Everything was gonna be okay.

Jamir and I walked the school halls together and waited for "ShaeNell," by our lockers. We were going back and forth about baby names, even though we didn't even know the sex yet.

"I think we should name him after my mother. So, how about Zolon?"

"Hell no Raelyn, reminds me of Midol without the 'm', lil' nigga gone be gay," Jamir answered and turned his face up as if he was disgusted.

"It wouldn't be so bad if he gay, best of both worlds for me," I laughed, earning a glare.

Soon a smile spread across his face, "I'll love my child no matter what they are or who they become."

I nodded in agreeance and kissed his cheek, "guess having you as my baby daddy isn't so bad at all."

Shaela and Ronell soon appeared with shocked faces.

"No wonder I can't get a text back," Shaela began.

"And I can't get a smoke session in this afternoon," Ronell added.

Jamir and I smiled sheepishly before we all laughed.

"Glad to see ya'll back man," Ronell chuckled, dapping Jamir up

"We could all get together this afternoon," Ronell offered, "and do what we do best."

"Ronell," I smiled big, "there's something we have to tell you."

With everything that has been going on, we kind of left Ronell out of the loop. Shaela had to stay true to me and in doing so, she promised to not tell anyone, including Ronell. I would be telling him now though.

"We're pregnant!"

"We? You and Shaela?" He looked, his face in horror.

Shaela's head tilted as she took in his reaction, I could tell she felt some type of way about it.

"No dumbass! Her and Jamir!" She slapped the back of his head and rolled her eyes before dramatically storming off with him following behind her.

"Well, that was cut short," Jamir said with an awkward expression.

"Definitely," we shared a glance before heading to our classes and parting ways.

--

After school, I was bummed out. I've had a tormenting headache since second block and everyone who has come near me, has turned away with anger due to me fussing them out. Irritated, wasn't the word.

I rode to school with Jamir so I'm currently waiting for him to get to his car. Mind you, I've been waiting fifteen minutes.

When he finally appeared, I couldn't help but start my rant.

"Jamir! I've been waiting for you for fifteen fucking minutes! You could've sent a message, you could've called, hell, you could have even sent a fucking SOS!" I screamed in the parking lot.

The few people that remained in the parking lot, turned their heads being nosey.

"Can I help any of you?" I asked loudly, before getting in Jamir's car and slamming the door.

"Raelyn, cool out with that shit," Jamir spoke in a stern voice.

"What were you doing Jamir?" I asked, trying to calm down, knowing my hormones were raging.

"I had a meeting with my teacher, and I did text you. I told you to wait on the bench by the trophy case."

I looked down at my phone, seeing his message and nodded. I shook my head and looked out the window, not sure what I was mad about.

When we got to my house, I headed to the kitchen to retrieve my pint of Blue Bell ice cream. Homemade Vanilla is my favorite, and I'm sure it'll put me in a better mood.

Jamir and I settled in the living room, where I actually shared my ice cream with him. We watched movies just to past time until my mom got home.

Tonight we're supposed to discuss living arrangements, college, and finances.

"So are you interested in going off to school?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Of course I wanna go to a university, but with the baby, I think it's best I stay back. I can start off at a community college and transfer within two years," Jamir responded.

I nodded, thinking that maybe I should do the same, "that's a good idea. Maybe I'll do the same."

"Nah, I don't want you to do that. You've been planning on going to Greensboro since freshman year."

"Yeah, Well now I have someone else to think about. It's not just about me, I have to make decisions based on the wellbeing of the baby. I don't want to just throw her on my mom."

"I get that Raelyn, but I'll be here as well. We gone be good," Jamir said as he pulled me into his side.

"I'm going to apply to UNC Charlotte. That way I can do off campus living, meaning I can stay home and also attend a university while tending to the baby as well."

"We got a lot ahead of us," Jamir sighed.

"But long as we all do our parts, we can get do this."

Jamir smiled and kissed my lips.

For a few moments we made out until his phone rang out with a call from his number. He got up, leaving me in the living room alone with my thoughts. I considered my dream of relocating to Greensboro, discovering who I am and attending UNCG instead of UNCC. I wanted to major in Chemistry with a minor in pre-med. I have really big goals to attain, but I know I can't do that with a baby on my hip. My choices thus far are about to impact my future in great ways. Actually becoming a Medical Doctor, is now at the back of my mind career wise. I'm now looking into nursing. Nursing isn't as time-consuming and this way I can have financial stability and a good relationship with my child.

Jamir broke my internal conversation re-entering the living room.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"My grandma, reminding me to clean the house, take the trash out, grab the mail, the usual," he chuckled.

"Lord, have you told her about the baby?"

"I haven't actually, she'll be back from her mission trip next week, I plan to tell her then," he sighed with a tired expression.

I nodded understandingly, snuggling into his side.

I always felt safe with Jamir and he's always been my comfort. But it seems like things are changing between us. Since finding out about the pregnancy and my reaction, distance has implanted itself between us. Even though we're trying to bounce back, the intense attraction between has dimmed. And I can only pray that as time continues with the growth of our child, our relationship will restore itself.

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