Chapter Five

- Jamir

It's been a day or two since everything went down with Rae. I kind of blacked out when she told me she wasn't having our child. I don't remember everything I did, but I know it was enough for Ronell and Shaela to blow my line asking if I had lost my mind. To be honest, I have.

Raelyn and I been in this shit for over two years. That's my homie and my lover, so for her not to trust me enough, not to love me enough to want this family, it fucked me up. I don't think Raelyn value what the fuck we got, and if she does, she doesn't show it. If she has this abortion, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I do know, I'm done with her ass. And that's on my unborn.

Molai ✨ - wassup w you coolie

11:30PM

I read Molai's message and it brought a smile to my face. She was my peace at the moment, always had me laughing and joking, putting me in a good space.

Me - same shit. diff day.

11:34PM

Molai ✨ - guess who go their L's ☺️

11:35PM

Me - wordup lil baby? You wild'n.

11:35PM

Molai ✨ - I'm trynna slide through tho.

11:36PM

Me - bet. Ima send you my location.

11:37PM

I actually needed Molai's company right now. I been feeling really out of order. The one person I used to vent to about all of life's adversities, is becoming a part of them.

Molai pulled up in less than five minutes. I let her in and she quietly followed me to my room. I had to admit, she looked good. She was wearing burgundy jeans, with knee-high black boots, and a black leather coat to match. She recently dyed her hair blonde, so she had this "good girl gone bad" look to her.

"Nigga you ain't got half the amount of clothes I got on," she laughed, looking me over.

She was right though, I was in nothing but sweats.

"Man don't start picking," I chuckled, pushing her shoulder before laying out.

She came and laid beside me, getting comfortable on my bicep.

"So much shit been going on man," she sighed, trailing off.

"You trynna get it off ya' chest?" I asked, looking at her.

"My mama, she been really stressed lately. My dad has been hitting her up, he says he coming home from South Africa and he wants to see us. She not trynna hear that though."

I was hella shocked to hear her speak on her father, that's a topic she avoids a lot.

"Word? You wanna see him?" I asked.

"I guess so, I don't really know. It's been five years, that's a long time to get used to not being around someone. He used to call at first but then he stopped, I figured he was caught up in the research. But we're his family, so what was more important than us?"

"Ion think my mama wants to see em' though, she works harder than ever to provide for us, just so she won't have to use the money he sends. Anything he sends, she puts in my account. Says she doesn't want a dime of his, taking care of her."

"I feel that Molai, I think you should talk to ya moms, and I think you should tell her how you feel, she's going to want to do what's best for you."

"Jamir, I'm so glad you came into my life," she smiled at me, placing her small and soft hand on my cheek.

I returned the smile, my arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer into my body. There was minimal space between our lips. Everything that I was stressed or hurting about before, escaped out the window. Entering me now were thoughts of passion.

"Deadass, I'm glad you came into mine too," I responded before allowing our lips to connect.

At first, it was a peck, and then I pecked once more, and then again until she allowed my tongue to tangle with her's. Our bodies began to mold together. I pushed her jacket off of her shoulders and reached down, pulling her pants and panties off hastily. Hurridly, I rolled on top of her, beginning to kiss at her neck as she made sweet sounds of pleasure. My lips found their match once more, and we kissed expressing our need of a comfortable distraction.

I placed my face in between her legs and began kissing the honey brown skin of her inner thighs. Her legs were spread wide showcasing the treasure no one had ever touched. Her lips glistened, honey dripping from her entrances and coating them. Her flawless skin that covered her legs and thighs had gone untouched, she was pure and I could tell. I kissed at her pussy before taking my tongue and running it along her slit, tasting her nectar. She sissed at the head of my bed, gripping the satin sheets.

Spreading her lips, I began to French kiss her pussy, allowing it to pulsate against my tongue.

Thump Thump. Thump Thump,

I felt a rhythmic beat of her clitoris against my tongue.

Soon I was fingering her while sucking at her clit as she cradled my head, moaning my name.

"Oh shit Mir, right there," she moaned, biting her once pink lips that were transitioning into darker tint.

She leaned up to watch me, her eyes darkening with immense pleasure.

Once her legs began to shake I knew she was approaching the storm. Waves of love came crashing, spilling into my mouth. Her stomach sunk into her ribcage while her back arched against the bed as I continued to lap at her sensitive bud. Her whines told me she had enough so, I kissed back up her body as she panted from her release. She smiled at me once more before we shared a kiss of desire, cuddling up to one another.

"That's all?" She asked.

"That's all love," I chuckled, pecking her forehead.

3AM

My sleep was interrupted by a stir at my side. Molai was getting up and putting her clothes on.

"Wasn't gonna say goodbye?" I grumbled in sleep.

She fumbled over her words, quickly putting her shoes on, "I didn't mean to actually fall asleep," she said.

"I got that effect on ya," I smirked.

She chuckled softly, looking at me sheepishly through the dark, "I'll see you tomorrow at school."

I rose from the bed, throwing on a sweater to walk her to her car. When we were at her car door, we paused for a while before she could enter the car. Just standing there looking into her eyes, I knew Molai and I had the potential for a lot more than gravity may permit. So instead of fighting against the unwilling force, I settled for kissing her cheek.

"Get home safe and text me when you get there, aight?"

"Okay," she replied with that sunshine of a smile.

I watched her drive out of the driveway and down the road before turning to enter my home, my thoughts doing backflips in my head.

Monday

- Raelyn

After telling Jamir I wasn't going to have the baby, he flipped shit. He's never put his hands on me before, but he did that day.

Friday Flashback

"Mir, I love you. I love you so much," I spoke, gripping at the back of his neck, "but I'm not having this baby."

As I looked into his eyes, they changed. Those eyes that once looked at me with love had formed into hatred. He quickly rose beginning to pace in front of me.

"Raelyn, if you kill my child, I swear to God. Anything you do to my unborn I will do to you."

"Jamir, this isn't your decis--" before I could finish my sentence, he had backhanded me, knocking me to the ground.

"It is all of my decision!" he yelled as he picked me up and shook me back and forth.

I pushed myself out of his grip before I threw my fist, allowing my knuckles to collide with his eye. I continued to throw blows as I cried out how much I hated him.

"Raelyn get the fuck off me!" he pushed me backward.

"I hate you dawg, I swear I hate you," he said, wiping his own tears and the blood that leaked from his busted lip.

"If you kill my child, you gone regret it. You and every motherfucker in this town gone feel me, I mean that."

**

We haven't spoken since. He didn't even text me, apologizing like he normally would. And this not being the first time he's stopped himself from reaching out to me, I figured he'd actually had enough of me.

I've missed a week of school due to morning sickness as well as chronic nausea. I can't keep any food down, and now my mom is starting to look at me funny. A virus or a stomach bug would've been gone by now, so I have to let her know what's going on. My mother has always been my best friend, I've always been able to be honest with her. But this time, I'm not sure how she's gonna take it.

"Raelyn, we should go to the doctor babe, you're not getting any better," she spoke as I drug my feet into the kitchen.

I took a seat at the marble island, fixing myself a cup of orange juice.

"Mom, I'm sure I'm fine. I'm going back to school tomorrow," I replied.

"Raelyn, a mother always knows. There's only one thing, that could have you in the condition you're in," she inferred with a stern, but also motherly, loving look.

I shook my head, trying my best to hold back the tears, "I don't know what to do ma," I cried.

She walked over to me, pulling me into an embrace. My head laid on her chest as I sobbed while she rubbed my back soothingly.

"Raelyn, we're a team. We always have been, you know we'll get through this. Have you told Jamir?"

"Mom, he wants to keep it."

"Well don't you?" She asked, pulling away to look at me.

My eyes roamed her face before I answered with a solid "no."

"Raelyn, what do you mean? You want to give it up for adoption?"

"I want an abortion."

Her mouth fell, she took a step away from me, her eyes glistening differently.

"Raelyn, I'm sorry honey. I don't want to judge you or make you feel bad about this decision. But I feel that's a very coward thing for you to do. You made this child Raelyn, you participated in actions that have led you to this point and I think you should face it. Terminating this pregnancy.. I don't think that's something you want to do," she spoke honestly.

"But Mom, it is. I really can't do this," I cried.

I honestly felt like everyone was shitting on me for this decision. They act like they don't get it, a baby will only hold me back, and there's nothing I can give a child right now.

"Raelyn, you're not doing anything alone! Have you even thought about this?"

I placed my head in my hands, shaking the thoughts of me keeping this baby.

"I don't want a baby right now!" I yelled.

"Well, you don't have a choice! You can't get an abortion under eighteen without the consent of your guardian. And I refuse, to let you do this to yourself, this family, and Jamir," with that she walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

I really don't know what's left for me to do.

**

In the next few moments, my mom told me she made me an appointment with my doctor. She first wanted me to take a professional pregnancy test just to make sure I was actually pregnant. Next, she wanted me to start making appointments with a gynecologist so we could make sure I had a healthy pregnancy.

I don't know how to tell Jamir that I am indeed keeping the baby. I don't think he wants to talk to me at all, especially because I had the thoughts of terminating it in the beginning. I'm still bitter about keeping it, I really don't want to do this. But like my mama said, I have to take responsibility for my actions.

I can only hope, this child brings back a part of me, I've been missing for so long.

I'm finally heading back to school after a whole week out. I know it's going to be hard catching up, but most of my classes are electives so there isn't much to stress about. Shaela held my hand as we walked into the building as a gesture of support. Jamir and I still haven't spoken, and I'm sure today won't be any different.

"You plan on telling Jamir about the plans for the baby?" Shaela asked as we stopped at our lockers.

"Nah, not today. It's too soon after everything that went down."

As soon as I was about to close my locker, I spotted Ronell and Jamir headed over our way. It was tradition almost, the four of us would always meet at Shaela and me's lockers. Seeing Jamir pulled all types of strings within my heart. He looked different, broken. His eyes were red and low, an obvious sign he was high. He never smoked before school though. I shook my head and ducked behind my locker door, pretending to be in deep search for a textbook.

"Wassup Shaw," Ronell spoke to Shaela, kissing her cheek.

"You tell me, why ya'll smell like weed? You know we don't do that shit before school," Shaela said, nudging him away from her.

"Cool out Shae."

"Cool out?" she repeated, "bet," she nodded, turning and grabbing her remaining supplies and stalking off.

"Shaela, bruh," I heard Ronell say before following behind her.

I waited a few moments, before closing the locker door, assuming Jamir has walked off long before that.

I settled the books in my arms and looked up to go to class. He was still there, just watching me.

Our eyes locked, but we said nothing. His eyes roamed down to my stomach and back to my eyes. I breathed in heavily before walking around him, blinking my tears back.

**

I finished the day without crossing paths with Jamir again. It wasn't until I was in the school parking lot, I saw him with the same girl from last week. She was blonde now, her hair straightened, showcasing the color. She and Jamir were walking together to his car, they weren't behaving like a couple or anything but there was obviously something there. It didn't help that I had no clue who she was, meaning she had to be a new or younger student. Instead of dwelling on Jamir's newfound companion, I just brushed it off, got in my car, and headed home. I needed to prepare for what is to come, meaning I need to alter my life. College, my number one priority, had just fallen to number two.

- Molai

Jamir has been on my mind since last night. That was my first time participating in anything sexual, and it felt amazing. I felt a sense of security, but I'm sure it won't last long. Jamir and I could never work. There are way too many factors that prevent him from being able to be in a committed relationship with me.

For one, he has a child on the way. That is not something I want to distract him from. Two, his baby's mother, is like the love of his life. Jamir doesn't go a minute without mentioning her. And lastly, it's me. I'm Molai, I'm the introvert whose life is full of movies, weed, and food. There's nothing interesting about me that would peak Jamir's interest.

We hadn't actually talked about what happened last night, but I was on cloud nine. It's not something that I plan on letting happen again though. I don't want to be Jamir's rebound and I don't want to ruin our friendship either.

We were currently headed to the movie theater to see "IT." I honestly was kind of scared, cause your girl is not a fan of horror movies. But I was with Jamir, and I felt super safe with him.

"So, what if I get scared to the point I'm like, crying?" I asked, still trying to find a way out of not going.

"I'ma tell you that just cause you got a pussy don't mean you gotta be one," he laughed loudly.

I rolled my eyes, lightly pushing his shoulder, enjoying the rest of the ride.

When we arrived at the movie theater, Jamir went up and paid for our tickets. We stood in line for a while, waiting to buy snacks until I spotted Raelyn coming out of the bathroom. She looked up and the two of us made eye contact, my eyes widening. She didn't allow her emotions to show as she walked over to us, Jamir still unknown to her presence.

"Yo, you want popcorn or nachos? Or both?" Jamir chuckled, turning to look at me, but his eyes landing on Raelyn.

His face fell, as his eyes mirrored the pain she held in her own.

The two stared at each other not blinking at all until the tears that Raelyn were holding hostage fell.

She turned swiftly walking out of the theater. Jamir looked at me, asking me for permission without actually asking.

"Go 'head," I smiled small. He slid a few dollars into my hand to buy the snacks before following Raelyn out of the theater.

I immediately patted myself on the back for not allowing myself to fall for Jamir as hard as I could have. I knew what he came with, and I was proud of myself for acknowledging the truths of our situation and not being one of those girls that swore they could change a man's heart.

His heart belonged to Raelyn and you couldn't pay me, to try and take it from her.