85 - Fool (part 2)

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

(A/N: The song above has no reference in this imagine. It's just for the sake of inspiration hehehe)

Weeks on end, I couldn't help but shut everyone out. I either spaced out in my room alone or been off every single time we practice a new song. My band mates have noticed, even my parents. All I could think of was "Thank God classes are over for the holidays" or else my grades will be slowly going down, even more than they used to. What makes it more stupid is the fact that I'm acting this way JUST. BECAUSE. OF. A. CRUSH! A stupid, fucking crush!

"Y/n, seriously! It's supposed to be E, B, C sharp minor then A not E, G sharp minor, C sharp minor, D! That doesn't even make sense!" Casey, our lead guitarist yelled at me as I messed up yet again. Not to mention the fact that I didn't even sing, I just played whatever the hell came to mind.

I just remained silent and stared blankly at the floor. I finally lifted my head to look at them, meeting their disappointed stares. My eyes met Isa's blue orbs and I just glared at her. I put my guitar back into its case and walked away. I could hear them yell my name, as if trying to stop me. I just ignored them until somebody gripped my arm and pulled me back. I turned around and met y/bff/n's eyes.

"Y/n, I know that you're confused as to what you really feel for Shawn. I know that it hurts knowing that he likes someone else and you just so happen to know who she is. But please don't bring the rest of us into this." She whispered, throwing her arms around my shoulders in a hug.

"I don't want to be here." I muttered, pushing her off me. "I just want to be alone. I forced myself to be here since you needed me but I only made things worse so might as well leave, right?"

"She doesn't even like him back, y/n! She told me so a few nights ago when we were hanging  out. In fact, she's not even into guys!"

"And why should I give a shit about that?"

I pushed her out of the way and got on my motorcycle. I drove through the snow and despite the bitter cold, I found myself stopping at the woods. As cliche as it sounds, this place helps me think clearly. Think of it as that spot Bianca brought Wes to in the movie The D.U.F.F. except slightly covered in snow. I parked my bike and hopped on the rock, wiping the snow off of it. I took my guitar back out as well as a small blue notebook. I positioned my gloved fingers on the strings and press as hard as having cloth covered hands would let me.

Why do I keep dreaming?
Why do I keep lying
To myself
That someday you'll be the one to sweep me off my feet?

Why do I keep thinking
Oh, why do I keep crying
About the things that will never be
Between you and me?
I guess it's time to let you go
And maybe someday I'll let you know...
What you mean to...

I trailed off, taking my pen and writing it down on my notebook. I put my things down and sighed, watching as my tears stain the pages, the ink spreading on more directions than I wished.

"That was really good." I heard someone say from behind me. "Did you write that?"

"Not that it matters." I muttered, not even daring to look up and meet his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I was supposed to surprise you but when I reached y/bff/n's house, they said that you ran out to God knows where. Then I remembered that you told me you would usually go here when you're upset so I figured that you must be here."

"Isa's still there. You didn't have to go look for me when the one you really wanted to see was just there in front of you."

"Is that what this is about?" He asked, taking my guitar and sitting down where it used to be.

"No."

I took my guitar from him and rolled my eyes at him. I moved a little away from him placed the instrument on my lap. I formed the chords once again and closed my eyes. I played whatever the hell came to mind, not bothering to even sing the lyrics.

"Let's go. You'll freeze yourself out here." He said, placing his hand on my cheek.

I turned my face to the other side so that I could shake his hand off of my face. I placed my guitar back in its case and  stood up to get away from him. I felt his warm hand wrap around my wrist and pulled me back.

"Y/n, please." He begged. "You've been pushing everyone away lately. Don't push me away too."

"You don't understand, Shawn." I muttered, trying to pry his hold off me.

"Then help me understand. We're supposed to be friends. We're supposed to tell each other what's bothering us."

"I'm tired. I'm tired of assuming that maybe there's a chance with someone I've come to fall for yet have it all blow up in my face just because they like someone else who's better than me in more ways than one. I'm tired of falling when there's no one there to catch me. As stupid as it is to let a crush affect me this way..."

I trailed off and turned around to look at him. I couldn't help but take note of how red his nose and cheeks are because of the cold. I shook my head and turned to leave once again. Yet after a few steps, I felt his arms wrap around me from behind and his head rested on my shoulder.

"I don't think anyone could be as perfect as you though." He whispered his warm breath fanning my ear, making me shudder at the feeling. "I never liked Isa. I lied during Never Have I Ever since I didn't want to make things awkward... It has always been you. Nobody is better than you, they can't be even if they tried."

"Congratulations, you figured out who I liked. You found out who made me feel like shit for the past days just because I was insecure of who he liked. Now stop saying things you don't mean just because you pity me." I spat out, not even daring to believe that he could ever like me since the last time I did, he revealed his feelings for another.

He spun me around to face him and before I knew it, both of his hands were on either side of my face and the distance between our mouths was decreasing by the second. I froze just as my ice cold lips met his surprisingly warm ones. My mouth probably has a mind of its own since  wasn't able to notice that I was kissing back. He must have sensed it since one of his hands made its way to my lower back, pulling me even closer

"Do you believe me now?" He muttered, pulling away by a few centimeters. "I was a fool to lie like that. I was a fool for not caring if it meant something to you just because I was scared that you would reject me right there and then. I was a fool for leading you on."

"Yeah, you really are a fool. But I am too. I'm a fool for you." I replied, meeting his eyes for the first time since he got here.

Sometimes, we tend to lead ourselves on, thinking too much of one's actions. And sometimes, we lie to ourselves that we do not have a chance with the ones we love. These assumptions could even break us at times. And to lie just because you're afraid of being turned down can either only hurt you or at times, even the one you love. I guess there are times wherein our mistakes can only be fixed by the ones that made them, especially when it comes to love.

But at the end of the day, it's a risk worth taking. If he's not for you then let it be. If he is, fate will always find a way.


•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
A/N: I literally started writing this right after I noticed a few requests for part 2. Obviously, this one isn't based on what happened to me and my crush. That one... well... Like the last line says, if it's meant to be, it will be. But I would rather wait for my own discernment when I'm old enough. Hope this isn't too shitty! I just got inspired to write this. Oh! And as I said before, the song was my inspiration for this imagine as well. I've been obsessed with Written By The Star's covers of pop punk songs and I'm even more proud to say that they happen to be a local, Filipino band. The lyrics however, are mine. If you have an idea for the tune, message me on Instagram (@ansarvilla)

Vote/Share/Suggest

♪☁ A ☁♪ going offline

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net