~Shawn's POV~

I couldn't move. I just sat there in complete and utter shock, just like the past five days, as the ceremony continued. I couldn't bring myself to do anything for the past days as soon as I found out about what happened. Was it my fault?

"Now let's have a few words from her older brother, Shawn." The priest said.

I took in a shaky breath before standing up and walking over to the front of the service. I didn't know what to say. I still couldn't believe it. It still hasn't sink into my mind. I don't want it to be true.

"So... Um... I'm really not good with speeches, much more, a eulogy but for her sake, I'll try. So... Um... Y/n... Y/n was and IS one of the best sisters anyone could ask for especially for me and Aaliyah. I remember having her run up to me and hug me whenever I get home. She would try to comfort me whenever I'm at my weakest. She's my number one fan no matter what I do. I really love her for everything she did... But sadly, I took her for granted." I paused and took in another deep breath. "I... I would usually tell her to leave me alone or ignore her and words can't express how much I wish I could change it. I wish I showed her how much I loved her... I... I just... I didn't know how to express my love to her. She's one of my baby sisters. When I found out that some asshole shot her when she was out with her friends, I literally punched the wall in my room almost a hundred times– which explains the bandage on my hand right now. I just can't help but blame myself for it. I should have picked her up from the mall. I should have been there with her... I can't express through words how I feel right now so... There's this song by Christina Aguilera which I think perfectly fits what I want to say."

I cleared my throat and walked over to the band we hired to play her favorite songs throughout the service. I told the instrumentalists about the song and took the microphone. The pianist started to play the intro of the song as I took a few more breaths to calm myself down.

"Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes.
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again.
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away
It's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you."

Finishing the song, I couldn't help the voice cracks I kept having during the bridge. Once the last word was sung, I fell on my knees and broke down. I finally broke. My parents picked me up from the ground and Aaliyah hugged me as we both cried. I could see the sympathetic faces if everyone around me. Even from afar, I could see some of the paparazzi waiting out the gate, trying to snap a picture of what was happening.

Before they lowered her coffin into the ground, I insisted that I wanted to see her one last time. My sister and I went to it and reached a hand out to her. Aaliyah held her lifeless hand while I placed mine onto her cheek, my tears falling on her pale face.

"I'm sorry I didn't show you how much I love you sooner. You'll always be my baby sister. I'll see you soon." I muttered under my breath as I left one last kiss on her cheek.

Once we placed a red rose and a white one in her hand, we shut the casket and before I knew it, she was being buried six feet under the ground. I couldn't help but want to reach out to her again. It wasn't long before I felt myself falling into the pit as well. The screams of everyone around me was the last thing I heard before everything went black.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•° 

"SHAWN!" I heard someone yell as I felt myself shaking.

I sat straight up, wiping the tears from my eyes. I looked up and saw my not so little sister sitting beside me on the bed. Y/n. I checked the clock on my left just to find out that it was only three in the morning.

"Are you okay?" She asked me as I took a deep breath.

I pulled her into a hug as she rubbed my back. She was shocked at first then hugged back. I stroked her hair as I let reality sink in.

"What happened?" I muttered.

"I heard you screaming and crying all the way from my room so I ran here. When I got in, I saw you shaking and tears were streaming down your face so I tried to wake you up." She explained. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

She pulled away and stood up. "I'm gonna go back to sleep. You should too. Whatever nightmare you had is over."

"Wait." I said as she reached the door. "Can you stay with me for tonight?"

"You haven't let me sleep in your room ever since I was five. You would usually push my away when either of us had a nightmare so who are you and what did you do to my brother?"

"Very funny, kid. Come on, please? I kinda missed my little sister."

"Fine."

She walked over and laid on the bed. I pulled her into my arms and snuggled close to her. I kissed her forehead as she started to drift off.

"Love you, sis." I whispered as she closed her eyes before falling asleep myself.

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A/N: So here's another shitty imagine. I'm sorry I've been inactive lately but I just completed my junior high school years and now I have two years of Senior High School before I go to college... great *Sarcasm* I'll try to post more every once in a while. Comment down below if you want me to make another BSM imagine. AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 101.5K READS! I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT I COULD MAKE IT TO 1K BUT YOU GUYS DEFINITELY PROVED ME WRONG! ADSHJDFKJSA I'M THANKFUL FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!

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