I sighed, laying on my bed, the sheets all wrinkled and messy from tossing and turning all night. I have been struggling to fall asleep for the past five hours and I have officially given up. Trying to sleep with someone or something in your mind can do that to you. It's as if the thought is eating you up alive and forcing you to look for a resolution to a problem you have no control over.

I pushed myself up from the bed and stared out the window. It was nearly six in the morning and the sun was starting to rise, slowly but surely. I slipped my legs to the side of the bed and stood up, walking over to look at the scenery. I watched the light slowly peeking through from the horizon as the waves disturbed the calmness of the water. I knew that moving here was the best decision I could make. I have always loved the sea. I have always loved the contrast between the waves and the white sand. I loved the perfect balance of the warmth of the sun and the coldness of the water in a perfect day.

I know for a fact that it would be freezing outside considering the time so I quickly grabbed my cardigan and shoes before making my way outside. I put my cardigan on and made my way down the porch steps, slowly walking towards the shore. Another thing I love about living here is the feeling of the sand in between my toes and I walk around with no shoes. It was finally bright enough to see my surroundings which made it easier for me to see where I was going. Once I was a couple feet away from where the water washed up on the shore, I sat down on the ground, pulling my legs up to my chest while using the cardigan to warm the uncovered skin.

As I stared out into nothingness, I can't help but think about my conflicting feelings. Before moving here, I used to be very close friends with someone whom I eventually fell in love with as we got older. But I had a feeling he never saw me in the same way. A few years back, we had decided to travel along with some of our other friends and it was at this same beach when he told me he wanted to ask someone out. As much as it hurt, I told him to go for it. And he did. They were together for a couple years and recently, I found out that they had split up.

He didn't tell me anything about it. You would think he would since I was his best friend but we grew apart once they got together. He's famous and I never was. Our schedules never matched up due to his fame and my career so we never got to hang out that much then she came into the picture. I also distanced myself from him because of my unspoken feelings. And learning about the split made it hard for me to determine what I felt about it. I was sad for him since he was in love with her for years yet at the same time, I was relieved. I never liked her but I always sucked it up for him.

"Pakiusap lang... lumayas ka sa'king isipan." I muttered under my breath. [Translation: Please get out of my mind]

I don't know how long I have spent just looking at the waves. I didn't even realize that someone was walking towards me until an all too familiar voice eventually snapped back to reality alongside the sound of someone walking on sand with shoes on.

"I knew I would find you here."

I flinched and turned my head to look at the hooded figure beside me. It took a bit for my eyes to adjust and realize that it was Shawn. He sat down beside me, placing both of his arms behind him and leaning onto them. He used one hand to reach up and take one of his mask's bands off his ear. He eventually took it off and put it in his pocket.

"Hey." I uttered, still shocked that he was sitting beside me at the moment.

"Hey." He replied, a small smile forming on his lips as he turned his head to look towards me. "You know, I never thought you would eventually move here."

"Yeah? Well, I fell in love with this place when we first went here. I wanted to stay here even just for vacation."

"I can't blame you. This place will forever be breath-taking."

"Why are you here anyway?" I asked but then cringed at how harsh that sounded. "I mean, not to be rude or anything. Just wasn't expecting you to come here."

"Is it wrong to want to visit my best friend?" He chuckled. "Your mother told me you would probably be here so I took the first plane to get here since I really wanted to get away. I've been here for like a week now though since I had to quarantine and get tested."

"Makes sense."

Silence enveloped us at the moment. I didn't know what else to say to him. I was totally caught off-guard to the fact that he decided to visit after a few years of not seeing each other. And it seemed like he felt the same way. It was awkward to say the least but both of us cannot find the right words to say.

"I'm sorry about your breakup by the way." I said breaking the silence while faking sympathy. "I was rooting for the two of you."

"What are you talking about? You hated her." He said followed by an emotionless laugh.

"I mean... yeah, I did but I'm always going to be rooting for anything that makes you happy. If she made you happy in the two years you were together then I was rooting for it."

"She did... Until things went downhill."

"What happened anyway?"

"She wanted to settle down... I wasn't ready for that. I want to be able to tour the world, meet those who supported me along the way. Grow in my career... I didn't want to give all that up and settle down. I'm not yet ready."

"And how did she take it?"

"She was... upset, I guess. She then proceeded to blame me for not being there anymore, as if she doesn't know how my career works when she's also in the same industry. She said I'm always too busy for her when I've tried my best to allocate time for her."

"Can't blame her for that. You are bad at time management, Shawn."

"Very funny, y/n."

"It's true though! We haven't seen each other in over two years because of it." I laughed, wrapping the cardigan tighter around me as the wind blew my hair from my face.

"You can blame the pandemic for that one too, you know. It's not just me."

"Fine. Maybe it's not entirely your fault."

"I guess she got so used to being around me during the pandemic especially since we lived together."

"Is that why she wrote another song about it?"

"Yeah. But I don't want to hold it against her. She has a right to vent about it."

"Yet your song about the situation is just the absolute sweetest..."

"Might as well be the bigger person by not biting back."

I leaned towards him, resting my head on his shoulder as a way to comfort him. He then wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him as he put his head on mine.

"Do you still love her?"

"It's only been two months. A part of me still does but I no longer know if it's the same way as I did before."

"What do you mean?"

"I've thought about it in the months we were no longer together. I love her but not so much in a romantic way. I know it sounds bad but I realized that maybe I loved someone more that I loved her all these years."

"That's probably just you wanting to move on. I think you should try let yourself heal before coming to that conclusion."

"I missed you, you know." He said, placing a small kiss on the top of my head.

Not gonna lie, I felt the butterflies erupt in my stomach and my heart flutter at the gesture but I knew that now wasn't the time to be internally freaking out about it.

"I missed you too."

"Sometimes I wish I never spent so much time on her just so I had more with you."

"Like I said, if she made you happy during your relationship with her then the time you spent with her are worth it."

"Yeah but she's not you."

I didn't know what to reply. What does he mean by that? I don't want to keep my hopes up but does he mean this as in he wished he was with me more as his best friend or more than that?

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

He turned his body to face me, putting his hand on my chin to make me look up at him. Before I knew it, he was leaning and his lips were on mine. I froze, not knowing what to do before my body took control and closed my eyes. His lips were so much softer and warmer than I imagined they would be. I deepened the kiss further by wrapping my arms around his neck as he pulled me onto his lap, placing one hand at the back of my head and his free arm around my waist. He reluctantly pulled away, resting his forehead onto mine as we both panted for air.

"It's always been you." He whispered, his hot breath fanning my lips.

"Shawn- I-"

"I understand if you don't feel the same but all this time, I tried so hard to get you off my mind. Fuck, I even tried to make you jealous the last time we were here by saying I wanted her when in the end, I really wanted you. But no matter how hard I try to move on, it's always you. Always has been, always will be you."

"Shawn, how am I supposed to know if you're sincere?" I asked, looking up into his deep brown eyes.  "I'm not sure if you really mean this or if you're just looking for someone to fill the hole in your heart that she left when you called it off."

I pushed myself off from his lap and stood up, turning around to face the water. I knew that being that close to him will affect my judgement. But it really is true. How am I supposed to know if he really means it or if he just needs a rebound? I don't want to blindly believe the things he says because I know that I would fall for it, whether it's from the heart or not.

"Do you really think I would lie to you?" He asked.

"I don't know." I sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I feel the same way. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember but... I don't want to be a rebound for someone I can never compare to."

I felt two arms brush against mine before they enveloped me in a hug from behind. He placed his head on top of mine and pressed a kiss on my hair. I took in a shaky breath as my brain registered how close he was.

"She can't compare to you. You're way better than she'll ever be in my eyes. I love you."

I turned around to face him and gently placed a hand on his cheek. "Can we wait for a while before we take our friendship to another level? Just so I know that you won't use me as a rebound?"

"For you, I'd wait a million years. For you, I'd continuously try to pursue you until you realize that what I feel for you is real."

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A/N: I'm trying to get back to writing in between having to write academic papers for college. I'm actually in the middle of midterms at the moment but wanted to publish this one. This imagine is inspired by the song Elyu by Ben&Ben (which is a Filipino song btw) thus the fact that it's set at a beach.

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