Shattered Violets~13

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The entire way home I thought about Angel and how I was going to break the news about everything. There was so much to tell her; Damon, my father, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. With my emotions running high at this point, I took a deep breath and pulled into the carport. Knowing there was no way to get around the subject, I smashed my fist into the steering wheel, causing the horn go off; breaking the silence of morning.

Unlocking the door, I held my breath; bracing myself for Angel’s wrath. Shutting it behind me, I saw her standing at the end of the hallway. I knew the second I looked into her eyes; I didn’t want to lose her. I lost all sense of reasoning. Something burst inside of me; all I knew was I needed her and now.

Walking up to her; I took hold of her. Not even giving her the chance to say a word. Placing my hands on either side of her face; I brought her mouth to mine. I could feel the tension in her melt away, as she brought her hands to my hips, pulling me into her. I needed her; my Angel.  

Suddenly, Angel pulled away for me.

“Don’t think you’re going to get away with it that easy!” She declared as she turned from me slightly.

Refusing to let her walk away from me, I grabbed her by the waist, holding her to me. “Angel, I’m sorry I left you like that. I promise to tell you everything… but first, please, I need you.”

“You need me. You mother fucking need me!” I could hear the ice in her voice. “You sure didn’t need me, when you left me and stayed out all fucking night.” Drawing in a breath she continued. “Don’t you understand how worried I was? Tone drove around for hours looking for your skinny ass, and you couldn’t just return a message saying you were fine. For five fucking hours I paced around this damn apartment afraid of what might have happened to you. But you need me, so all is to be forgotten. What the fuck Violet.”

Feeling Angel tremble under my hands I lost control. I didn’t know what came over me, but she was going to understand and now. Letting go I pushed myself away from her.

“Well Angel, there is nothing for you to worry about. I’m fine. So just fuck off.” I yelled as I turned to walk away.

“What the hell… what is that supposed to mean? Are you leaving me, because I won’t fuck you right now?”

“Angel, fucking you is the last thing on my mind. Why don’t you just go fuck yourself? God you can be such a twat!” With that I turned and went into the bathroom, slamming the door.

Turning on the water faucet, I braced myself against the wall. Resting my face to my hands, once again I couldn’t stop the tears from forming. Bring my head back against the wall I made up my mind; this was it. I need to swallow my fear and my silly pride. Angel deserves the too know what is going on. She’ll listen to me? What happens, happens. Period. I can’t keep running.  

Leaving the bathroom, I went in search of her. I didn’t have to look long, since she was curled into a ball; the covers pulled up tight around her. She looked so beautiful with her hair sprawled out over the pillow. I felt my heart pang, knowing that my future with her was uncertain.

Slipping out of my jeans and hoodie, I crawled in beside her. Drawing myself near to her, I pulled her to me, wrapping my arm around her waist.  Softly brushing the hair from her face, I laid a couple of gentle kisses on her shoulder and neck.

“Angel, you know I love you, don’t you?”

She didn’t answer me just laid there. I could tell she was trying to keep her breathing steady and eyes closed. For some reason she was trying to block me out.

“Angel, answer me please. I can’t handle it when we fight. You know the last thing in the world I want is for you to be upset with me.” I pleaded with her.

We laid there for a few minutes. Holding on tight to her; refusing to let her go. Finally she broke the silence.

“Violet, what are you so afraid to tell me? It really can’t be that bad can it? Did Mr. Hannon hurt you? Did her force you? Is that why your outfit was tossed in the trash?” Her breathing suddenly became heavy with the thought.

“No… Calm down please. I’m afraid I have been hiding things from you. You don’t know the real me. I know I should have told you all this when we first met, but I want to remove myself from my past. I plan on telling you everything, but first I need you. I need to feel your body give into me one more time. One more time before my world crumbles down around me.”

I couldn’t stop my body from shaking. Deep down I felt like I was going to lose her.

Angel rolled over to face me, looking me in the eyes. For the first time I could see the worry and anxiety lurking beneath those deep blue pools. Again, I felt the same ache in my heart. That ache you feel when you know you were about to hurt the person you cared about the most.

“Violet baby, what have you done that could be so bad?”

“It’s not what I’ve done; it’s what I was born into.”

“You mean money… Do you think that I’m so dumb that I can’t spot breeding when I see it?”

“You knew?”

“Yes I knew.”

I lay there in shock. Didn’t Tone just say that to me early, that he knew there was something different about me? Now Angle is saying the same thing.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked her, curious.

“Because, I knew you would come to me in your own time. Baby, we all have secrets.” Angel started to play with my hair, showing me the softer side to her that I only get to see.

“You know it’s not just about coming from money that I need to talk to you about.”

“Sure, and when you’re ready.”  I could feel Angel’s hand running over my breast, thumbing my nipple as she looked at me.  “Violet, I don’t care about the money or your past. I chose you because I wanted the person you were at that moment.  So now, if you need me to give into you… I will this once.”  

Seeing the dominate gleam back in her eyes, I knew there was no way she was going to give into me.  Cocking my head and smiling at her, I ask; “Really?”

“Why sure my little pixie.” With that wicked twinkle in her eye; Angel rolled me onto my back. Bringing both her hands to cup and squeeze my breast, as she claimed my mouth, the way she’s done a hundreds of times before.  Breaking away she proclaimed. “Well I will, after I’ve had my way first.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. For a moment I felt like everything might be okay.

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