Chapter 30: I Love You

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The soft giggles and chuckled had Alexandra smiled faintly as she sat on the rattan couch near the pool. Her heart ached slightly at the sight but was quickly shadowed by the happiness overwhelming her that moment. The sun shone brightly in the afternoon and it was refreshing for Alexandra to have finally stepped foot outside of the mansion once in a while after cramming up back in their home, grieving about the loss she had to endure for the past two years.

From afar, she could hear the soft yet loud voice of Patricia reaching out to her. She turned around and squinted her eyes to make out the images of Patricia and Jerry hanging out at the garden tables. "Alexandra dear, come have some tea with us. We have juices too if you'd prefer."

It was Monday, and she was supposed to sit in two meetings with a client and sponsors today but due to Jerry's request, Alexandra had to take a raincheck for her work to spend time with her family since it had been a long time she sat together and talked with them. Alexandra slowly stood up from the couch and tidied up her sundress before making her way towards her in-laws whom she had thought as her own parents over the past few years.

"Come. Sit, sit, my dear. We have guava, orange and coconut juices today." Jerry stated, pointing out at each one of the beverages on the table. "Also, some petite blueberry tarts, lemon squares and of course, Grant's all time fav, chocolate soufflés."

Smiling sadly at the mention of the chocolate soufflés, Alexandra quickly blinked a few times and masked her expression from being seen by Jerry and Patricia. The last thing she wanted was to indulge in another sad moment when Jerry and Patricia had tried their best to get her to step foot out of the house after two years of mourning. However, Patricia was quick to notice the change in expression displayed on her face a few seconds ago.

"It's okay, love. You don't have to hide your feelings from us." She expressed faintly.

Alexandra looked down onto her hands on her lap and smiled, "I miss him. I miss him so much even though it has been two years since his passing."

"We miss him too, Alexandra... but he would want all of us to be happy." Jerry said in a hush tone. He then sucked in a breath and smiled widely, "Now, which would you prefer to drink?"

Alexandra chuckled lightly, "Uhm... Tea perhaps. The smell is quite marvellous from here."

"So, Alexandra. The hospital was planning on building another new expansion over in Scotland. Since the last one in Ireland got good responses, I think it would be good if we build another one in Scotland. What do you think?" Jerry asked, sipping his tea carefully.

"Oh dear! Sweetie, it's a miracle that we could get her to go out to our backyard to spend time with us rather than just going back home from work and to the hospital for work only and now, you want to talk about work again?" Patricia said in exasperatedly. She snorted, "Dear you don't have to answer that. Your papa here is just bluffing."

Laughter erupted from Alexandra as she watched Patricia threw daggers in her husband's direction. What's more funny was when Jerry pouted slightly and stuck his tongue out at her.

"It's okay, mamma. I'm the CFO anyway, and speaking of the hospital, we would need a great expense building another hospital but, the profit would definitely doubled from the expense. I think setting up a foundation under the hospital name would be a great idea too. We can have investors invest their money for charitable causes in exchange of free or discount services from the hospital. A win-win situation."

Jerry clapped his hands with a bright smile graced his features, "Great idea! I'll hold up a meeting next week and bring up this idea for discussion later. See, Patricia. Our daughter loves me more than she does with you."

"That's absurd! Alexandra adores me more than some silly old man like you." She gasped. "Dear, I have two clients who absolutely loved your authentic Victorian Era with a hint of Renaissance design from the previous client. They want the same theme for their houses. You wouldn't mind, would you?"

"Of course, mamma. And for the record, I love both of you equally. No fighting!" Alexandra teasingly scolded. Both of her in-laws pouted slightly, sticking out their tongues at each other.

Ignoring both Jerry's and Patricia's small argument, Alexandra slowly tilted her head to her right and stared at the swimming pool just a few feet away. The children's soft laughter reached out to her ears as she watched them with a smile on her face. Who knew she would be blessed with two beautiful, kind-hearted children over the past four years. The apples of her eyes, her's and Grant's pride and joy.

Grant's pride and joy.

Feeling the cold droplet running against her cheeks, Alexandra's hand quickly shot up to her cheeks and wiped the tears away. It had been a long time since she cried for his death and she refused to walk down that lane again. Everyday, it was hard for her to look up and to keep up a smile throughout the day when the sudden loss of her dear husband for two years just hit her all of a sudden after the two years they lived with each other. She was down for the whole two years and even disheartened to the maximum but, Jerry and Patricia never failed to be by her side and gave her all the support and love she needed at the time she needed them the most. With two of her bundle of joys by her side, she needed to stand up from the misery surrounding her life and be there for her children.

"Mommy!" The soft voice yet with a hint of manliness in it reached out to her, snapping her out of her thoughts. She rose from her seat and walked three steps towards the backyard patio before kneeling down on the grass and opened her arms widely. She smiled widely as the ten year old boy raced towards her with his arms wide open too and his backpack jingling on his back as he ran into her arms. The boy shouted once more, "Momma!"

Alexandra chuckled and embraced the boy in her arms tightly. She kissed his forehead and cheeks a few times before flicking his nose with her forefinger. "Gayle, my cute little boy. Momma miss you. Where's your suitcase, hmm?"

"Inside, mom. Come here." Gayle said, quickly tugging Alexandra's hand with him to where Jerry and Patricia were currently seated. As they sat down, three pairs of curious eyes watched him closely as he shrugged his backpack onto the ground and grabing something from the inside. He grinned widely, "Maria and I baked these for you, Jiji and Nanna Pat."

"Ooo! What did you and Maria baked this time, Gayle?" Jerry grinned when he heard his nickname coming out of the little boy's mouth.

"Pound cake and strawberry swiss roll." He muttered shyly, carefully climbing up the couch before relaxing himself on Alexandra's lap. He looked at Alexandra under his eyelashes with hope, puckering his lips as he opened the lid of the container on his lap. He then grinned, "Mommy?"

Chuckling to herself, Alexandra carefully picked up one slice of the strawberry Swiss roll in her hand and slowly took a bite from it. She took her time chewing it as Gayle watched her intently under his thick lashes.

"Delicious as always, handsome." Alexandra smiled.

"Let us taste them!" Jerry and Patricia said in unison.

While Gayle started to get comfy on Alexandra's lap, two little children trotted towards them from the pool and jumped on the couch sloppily, each of them sat on Alexandra's side, bouncing up and down as they giggled excitedly at both her and Gayle.

"Gayle! Come and swim with us at the pool!" Tiara and Jack said in unison as they quickly got down from the couch and pulled Gayle with them towards the pool.

Alexandra giggled when Gayle turned his head towards her, "Can I, mom?"

"Sure, sweetheart. Just put on your swimming trunks before you decide to make a splash." She replied in her motherly tone.

While her in-laws were busy tasting and munching on the evening tea pastries, Alexandra drifted into her own world as she watched her children played together in the pool. The look of happiness on their faces were so heart-clenching for her to watch but she loved every second of it. Although Grant was not here by her side to enjoy and witness the times like this with her right now, she could feel that he was watching her anyway and it warmed her heart at the memories of when Grant was very keen and joyful when they found out she was pregnant with fraternal twins.

As her eyes parted away from little Tiara and Jake to Gayle, she smiled faintly. She hadn't seen Nikolei in four years after she built her life with Grant. In fact, the last time she saw him was a week after she had rejected him when he appeared right in front of her doorstep, soaking wet in rain droplets as he held sobbing Gayle who was asleep in his arms. He looked broken and a pang of guilt and sorry hit Alexandra when she watched him silently as they stood face to face with each other on her doorstep during that cold night.

His eyes held those sorrows she remembered seeing the first time she dropped by his house after years of her disappearance without any news years ago. Her heart broke at the sight and it almost forced her to give him some comfort, hug away all the distress shown on his face... but Alexandra knew better than to give the man another hope after the stunt she had pulled on him that night at the park.

Bringing her right hand up to her chest, Alexandra slowly rubbed the place where she could feel her heartbeat. She remembered that night all too well, and it pained her when she had realised that she had been selfish of herself when she remembered that she had forgotten about Gayle when Alexandra confronted Nikolei that night.

"Nikolei..." She uttered breathlessly.

Nikolei shook his head slowly and looked up to her with his bloodshot eyes, "I promise I won't take much of your time. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore, but please don't shut out Gayle from your life. He has been waiting for you for two years and it hurts me seeing him cried every night to sleep when he realised that he won't be seeing his beloved mother again. Please, Alexandra. I beg of you to still see, spend time and love Gayle as your own the way you used to years ago. I know it's my fault that brought us to where we are today but I can't let Gayle suffer from what I did. Please..."

Alexandra quickly wiped her tears away and extended her hands outwards to Nikolei. Hesitantly, Nikolei carefully transferred his son from his arms into Alexandra's. Seeing Gayle snuggled comfortably into her arms, Alexandra smiled at the sight as her heart warmed up to it.

She lovingly whispered, "Mommy loves you, Gayle. I'm sorry." With that she kissed his left temple. When she looked back up to thank Nikolei, she was met with the cold night breeze. Alexandra stared emptily into the night when she realised that Nikolei was gone.

He was gone from her life.

As the tears glided down her cheeks, Alexandra was more than quick to wipe them away before anyone could notice it. She chuckled to herself. Silly her for being so emotional during this fine evening. After that night, Gayle had been staying with her quite often, switching places from her house to his father's, Nikolei's house. Thankfully, Grant accepted and treated Gayle as his own too when the little boy stayed with them. As for Nikolei, she never saw him again after that sad night. When the time came for Gayle to stay with his father, Nikolei's driver, Boris, would pick him up from her house.

"Crying again, aren't we?" A masculine voice snapped Alexandra out of her thoughts. She looked frantically at Patricia and Jerry, only to scowl afterwards when she realised that they seemed to be oblivious about her. "You know I hate to see those tears coming out of your eyes."

There's that voice again!

As she continued to scanned the backyard, her eyes suddenly stopped and widened when she saw the face she had been missing for the past two years.

Her lips quivered, "G-grant?" Her hand reached out to touch his cheek.

Alexandra gasped as her hand made contact with Grant's soft skin. She then quickly touched the sides of his cheek with her palms before hugging him tightly.

"Don't cry anymore, my dear. It pains me to leave you all alone when all you do is mourn after me." Grant smiled cheekily and stroked her cheek lovingly, "Smile for me, mon amour."

He sucked in a long breath and grinned, "They sure have a lot of fun playing together. Look how Gayle protects Tiara from the big splashes Jack makes! Such a protective big brother already. The boy never fail to amaze me."

"I miss you, Grant." She said in a hush tone but Grant was quick to catch it when he turned his head to face her.

"I miss you too, mon cheri." He expressed seriously. "You know that I love you, right Alexandra?"

"I do. I love you too, Grant." She replied quickly.

Grant nodded and slowly enclosed his hand over Alexandra's, "I want you to be happy, Alexandra. Don't let me hold you down from pursuing your soulmate. One thing Serena had taught me after her death was that, things in life come and go. They never stays the same but sometimes love does."

"What are you trying to say, Grant?"

"What I'm trying to say here is that go and pursue Nikolei's love. Fight for it like it was your last fight. He is your one true love." Grant smiled faintly. "You still have a long life ahead of you, Alexandra, and so does Nikolei. Don't waste it just to mourn after my death. I had my chance to find love again and that is with you and I was happy for that chance, but my time in this world is short. Same goes to my Serena. She left me when I was madly in love with her, and when she's gone, I was depressed and devastated as hell. The same pattern goes to you. Serena's my soulmate, my one true love."

"B-but..."

Grant cut in, "There's no buts, Alexandra. Only when. Things happen for a reason and now, Nikolei being the one for you is your reason. I love you, Alexandra. I know it and we have two beautiful children to prove it too. Life has everything restored for us. Yes, sometimes there are bad moments but in the end, good ones will eventually come to us."

He continued, "I love you, Alexandra. Thank you for being there with me till the end. Now, it's time for you to live your life. I'm your past, and Nikolei is your future. Believe me, my dear. I love you, Alexandra."

As Grant whispered his love, he slowly leaned in towards Alexandra. Alexandra's eyes fluttered closed as she awaited for the kiss. The brief kiss felt like a gentle touch, like a soft gush of wind as it caressed the side of her cheek and forehead. When she opened her eyes, Grant was gone. The seat beside her was now empty, not even a single crease was visible on the linen covering the cushion of the outdoor couch.

"Alexandra, dear?" Patricia softly called out to her. "Is everything okay?"

Looking away from the empty space where Grant sat a few moments ago, Alexandra quickly flashed her reassuring smile to her. She nodded her head slightly and slowly reached out to her cup of tea before sipping it a little. Her heart was racing erratically and she could feel the heartbeat beating against her heat rapidly. Everything just felt so surreal and Alexandra could swear that she had felt the kiss a few seconds ago. Gently, she brought her delicate fingers up and touched the area on her cheek and forehead where Grant had kissed her.

"I love you too, Grant Carson. With all my heart." She whispered into thin air.

The day went by smoothly like any other day. Alexandra was lying on the bed she had shared with Grant in their room after dinner. Dinner also went well, with Gayle, little Tiara and little Jack ranting over children stuff at the dining table that got everyone laughed heartily during the evening.

Sighing to herself, Alexandra turned sideways onto her right as she eyes the spot Grant used to occupy. She missed being in his arms every night and right after the moment she had experienced this evening, the feeling got stronger when memories and flashes of Grant penetrated her mind during the night.

It was five minutes to twelve at night. Patricia and Jerry probably had already retired to their room for the night after spending time together in the family's library, talking and playing scrabble beating each other asses off. The kids however had already went to their room to have their good night sleep since it was already past their bedtime. For one last time, she let out a breath of air and fluttered her eyes close.

Knock. Knock.

As her eyes shot open by the sudden knocking, Alexandra blinked repeatedly and sat up on the bed. The faint knocks woke her up from her sleep although it had only been a few minutes since she closed her eyes.

"Mommy?" The faint voice of Gayle could be hear from the other side of the door. "Mommy, can I come in?"

Alexandra hastily got up from the bed and opened her steps towards the door. The door creaked open, revealing Gayle in his little hot dogs and eggs pyjamas. He was rubbing his eyes sleepily with his fisted hand while the other was holding his favourite blanket tightly to his chest.

"Gayle? What are you doing up so late at night?" She questioned him in a soft whisper.

The little boy puckered up his lips and slowly hugged Alexandra's legs, "Can I sleep with you tonight? I always sleep with dad at home but he has been busy over the past three days."

As the words left Gayle's lips, Alexandra carefully scooped him in her arms and closed the door behind them. She neared the bed before placing Gayle softly onto the bed on Grant's side. When she was done tucking him in, she quickly scooted to her side of the bed and tucked herself in.

Gayle was watching her under his lashes while holding the blanket close to his chest, sniffing it once in a while. Alexandra chuckled in amusement. She brought her arms around to hug Gayle and bring him close to her.

Once again, she closed her eyes and talked herself to sleep. A few minutes had passed when Gayle's voice once again broke the silence between them in the bedroom.

"Daddy misses you." He muttered softly.

Her heart skipped a beat when the words dissolved. Her eyes were half opened, eyeing Gayle curiously trying to figure out to where he was going with this. From her peripheral view, she could see that Gayle was fiddling his blanket within his fingers, nervously.

"He stared at your photo and played with a ring every night before sleep." He then blurted out the next sentence. "I saw it every night but he doesn't know that I'm watching."

"Gayle..." She stopped, letting out a deep breath of air as she ran her fingers through Gayle's dark hair. "Go to sleep, okay? It's late already and tomorrow will be a tiring day."

***

The week went by smoothly as usual. Alexandra had a lot of fun spending time away from work this time, filling it in with fun activities and spending her free time playing with Gayle, Tiara and Jack.

They went to the amusement park, Disneyland and even the beach. The kids absolutely love swimming and playing in the waters, pretending like they were some kind of swimmers athletes. By the time the week came to an end, it was time for Gayle to head back to his father's home.

Usually,

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