A/N:

So... funny story before you start reading. This chapter, yes, this chapter, has been posted before after I had accidentally clicked on the 'Publish' button after editing this piece after mistaking it with the 'Save & Preview' button. I got panicked and quickly moved my finger to click 'Unpublish'. At first, I was like 'Phewh!' and thought no one had read it. But, as the minutes went by, a reader (you know who you are) reached out to me and comment on the chapter while a few of them got unlucky and have not managed to read it before I unpublish it. I laughed for two days about it and now, had been really careful in distinguishing the buttons before I decided to click on it. The end, sorry for the long rant. Haha! Anyways, enjoy the reading!

Love,

DNA. 😘

***

It had been a week after the heart-wrenching incident. She chose to distant herself from Nikolei but remained close to Gayle every time she had sent him to school. By the time his schooling time ended, Maria would picked him up instead seeing she tried her best to avoid Nikolei from seeing her with his son.

She had put on a fake smile the day after the hit occurred and thankfully, Gayle had believed her when she had told him Nikolei and her were only talking about his school after the boy had persisted her to tell him about what happen. He would brave up and talk to his father if it would make her happy, like he had said it, but Alexandra knew better not to get Gayle invovled in this adult matter.

A boy his age shouldn't be worried about things like this. His life should be filled with boy's scouts, camping and sports than the gruesome truth of the adult life.

Seeing she could not ask for Nikolei's help, she decided to talked to the headmaster herself about Gayle's case and she was glad that she had taken the step now that the bullying had stopped after a while. It had been easy judging by the way the headmaster's face paled when she had mentioned Nikolei's famous name.

Alexandra suddenly shot out from her bed and dashed for the bathroom and emptied all the content in her stomach into the sink. She had felt dizzy and headaches every now and then. This was the first time she had threw up. Maria had been breathing down her neck trying to keep an eye on her in case she would fainted.

"I really have to see a doctor soon," she muttered under her breath.

When she went back to her bed, she noticed the time shown four o'clock in the morning. Her eyes were bright as an owl's since her throat was burning up from the vomiting, so she decided to continue reading Rosie's diary.

Marrying him had been the happiest day of my life but sadly, he could not get over her even how much he despised her. Maybe, just maybe by having his baby I would earn his love. Oh, how I have been wronged. I have been happy every time he would ask me about my pregnancy although knowing that he only cared about the baby. About how the baby was doing.

It was a mistake from his drunk night and when I had took advantage of him, but despite his cold attitude, I have grown love towards my baby. Our baby. I knew I had done my best friend wrong. Maybe this was my punishment. My punishment for coming in between two people who had been in love with each other so much. Yes, I deserved this and I am not worth of Alexandra's forgiveness at all.

My little baby had been born. He looked just like his father. But sadly my time with him is short. Just after his birth, I found out that my tumor had spread to other parts. It was too late to be operated, I have no more chances in mending what I have done. Had I though, the chances of surviving could only spark a tiny bit of hope that I still had in me.

My sweet little Gayle. I love you, my little boy and mommy is sorry for leaving you at such an early age.

Alexandra, I'm truly sorry for what I have done to you and Nikolei.

If you are reading this, take care of my son and Nikolei. Love my son like he was yours. Forgive Nikolei as he had done nothing wrong. I was the cause. I was the thorn in your relationship and now, I truly regretted it.

He always loved you, Alexandra. He always has.

I'm truly sorry, my best friend.

Alexandra closed the diary and set it back in her drawer. It had been the last page of the diary as she went through it every time Maria was fetching Gayle up from school. She smiled longingly at the rose carved on the book before closing the drawer slowly. She should felt furious and angry, but all she felt was warm feelings that spread throughout her chest.

"I forgive you, Rosie. Rest peacefully, my friend. Gayle is in good hands of his father." She whispered under her breath.

Again, she was never a vengeful person and never will. She slowly laid down on her comfy mattress as the headache came again in painful throbs at the back of her head.

That morning after she had sent Gayle to school, she went to the hospital to get check up. Boris had offered himself to drive her to the school that morning but she had turned down his kindness as she did not want anyone to know her visit to the hospital. They might later become concern and sometimes too much that she needed a space to breathe. Enough that Maria had been throwing her questions about her health lately, she did not need another party to join in.

"Hi, I made a call this morning for an appointment with the doctor."

The nurse at the desk looked up and smiled, "Hello. May I know your name, miss?"

"I'm Alexandra Rakers." She said guiltily when she had chose to use her own last name instead of Machiavelli.

"You are just on time, Ms. Rakers. Dr. Carson is ready to see you in Room One just right around the corner."

Alexandra thanked the nurse and walked towards Room One. As she knocked, a masculine voice reached out telling her to enter the room. She was hoping the doctor would be an old man with grey hair but what she didn't expect was a man who looked like he was in his late twenties.

His dark brunette hair and eccentric green eyes had her hooked and lost in her own thoughts as she didn't realize the doctor was smiling amusingly at her after he had called for her to sit in front of him a few times already.

When she had snapped out of her thoughts, her face was heated seemingly she had blushed when she realized that she had been staring at the doctor for a few minutes now and only to meet up with a glint of amusement in his eyes. She slowly approached the seat situated near his table.

"I-I'm sorry I spaced out, doctor."

He chuckled lightly, "It's fine. It does feel good that people still think I'm good-looking after cramping up in this hospital for an awfully long time now." With that he winked at Alexandra's still blushing face. "So, what seems to be the problem, Ms. Rakers?"

"Lately, I have been experiencing severe headaches and some dizziness. Today, I woke up vomiting into my bathroom sink." She told the doctor concernedly.

Dr. Carson frowned and jolted down the details about her sickness. "Do you ever involve in any accidents before?"

She scrunched up her nose trying to remember any incident that had occurred in past few days. "Well, I got hit at the back of my head once and it had bled profusely before I treated it."

He cleared his throat, "Your symptoms can lead to many things, Ms. Rakers. I have to conduct some tests on you to confirm my assumptions. If you may follow the nurse, we will get on it straight away."

She nodded and followed the blonde nurse out of the room. After one hour, the doctor had came back into Room One and sat down in front of the agitated Alexandra. "The tests' results will come out in a few days, Ms. Rakers. Say... maybe tomorrow if you're lucky. Until then, I will call and inform you when they are out." He said, flashing her a charming smile.

"Thank you, Dr. Carson."

"My pleasure, Ms. Rakers, and please, I would prefer it if you called me Grant. Okay, Alexandra?"

"Sure, G-Grant. Thanks again." She sent him a smile before walking out of the door.

Grant watched the red-haired woman left his office. It must have sound crazy as it seemed, but he could not help but to feel a great attraction towards his patient. He knew that he should not have feelings on his own patients but this time, he would make an exception.

He smiled at the thoughts of how soft and right her hand had felt in his bigger ones when he had taken her vital signs. At that moment, he felt just right. He felt his soul was no longer empty like the past few years.

And boy, he could not wait to call her the day her tests results come out.

*****

A day after she had gone to the hospital, Alexandra received a call from an unknown number. "Hello. Alexandra Rakers speaking."

"Alexandra, it's me. Grant Carson. I've called you about your tests results yesterday." He sounded grim over the phone.

"Oh hello, Grant. So how is it? Everything's okay, I believe?"

He sighed into the phone, "If you don't mind, Alexandra. Can you stop by the hospital today? I think it is best for us to talk there about your results."

"Okay, Grant.  I'll be there soon." She ended the call. Her heart was beating at a fast rate. She could feel there was something huge, something big that was awaiting her and it was sure not a good news.

When she reached the hospital, the nurse from before had escorted her to the room where Grant worked. Grant had greeted her with a cheerful smile but not for long before his cheerful expression was replaced with a grim one. He invited her to sit in front of his table and took a few deep breath before he looked up into her eyes.

"Is there something wrong with my results, Grant?" She voiced out her concerns.

"I'm sorry to inform you, Alexandra, but you have acute subdural hematoma. I recalled that you have mentioned that you had once been hit at the back of your head. That bleeding from the hit must've filled the brain rapidly causing it to compress your brain tissue. Since you might consume aspirin for the headaches, it had increased the risk of developing a hemorrhage after even a minor head injury."

Alexandra paled at his explanations. She could not believe the hit from previous week had caused such a great impact. Her hands were sweating and the air conditioning had done nothing to help her ease the nervousness and worries in her mind. Grant had been eyeing her worriedly.

"It can cause death, Alexandra, but not if we act fast. In your case, you have large acute subdural hematoma. So, the only way is by surgery to drain the blood out of your brain. The consequences are high as only about fifty percent of people who are treated for a large acute subdural hematoma survive."

"Is it the only treatment?"

"I'm afraid yes. There's no more time, Alexandra! You have to undergo the surgery as soon as possible even though the chances are only fifty percent. You can still make it and survive. I have contacted my father who is a brain surgeon and he has agreed to lead the surgery. Now, it's only up to you. Say you will, Alexandra." He pleaded.

It had just been a day when he met her but his affection and attraction towards her had grown stronger when his heart had might shattered into pieces when he learnt that she suffered from subdural hematoma.

"I'll think about it, Grant. Excuse me." She quickly ran out of his room and drove home. How she didn't expect the big news to be this huge. It had taken only two hit on the head for her to be in this life and death situation. She quickly parked the car in the garage and went to the game room. Gayle was playing with his Lego blocks when she entered the room.

"Mom! Look what I made!" He exclaimed excitedly over his large building of blocks.

"What is it, sweetie? It's beautiful."

"I build a castle for me, you and dad to live in. You can invite Maria and Boris too if you like!"

She chuckled at the handsome little boy, trying to hide her sadness. Million thoughts came to her mind.

Would he be sad if she was gone?

Would Nikolei felt more happy and glad that she was gone from their family and life?

She sighed sadly. She knew that she should not be making assumptions before having a conversation with Nikolei. She left the room after giving Gayle a kiss on the forehead.

Slowly, she made her way towards Nikolei's room and entered when he had summoned her in. Nikolei stood in front of the mirror, looking devilishly handsome as always in his tuxedo while fixing his bow tie before he turned his body towards her. His eyes were as cold as the ice in Antarctica when her eyes met his.

"What is it?"

He fixed his watch while his eyes remained static at Alexandra. "I hope we can talk. There's something important I need to tell you about."

"I don't have time right now. Save them for next week. We will talk then since I need to fly to Germany to meet up with my client tomorrow. Until then, I will only come back on Wednesday. As for tonight, I have a charity ball to attend to. If that's all, you may leave the room." He said with a cold voice.

"B-but this is really important, Nikolei."

"I said not now, Alexandra. It can wait. Next week is next week." He gritted his teeth and emphasized on every word with anger.

With a heavy heart, she exited his room and went downstairs when her eyes caught a slim figure standing confidently in the foyer. The woman had blonde hair fixed elegantly on her left shoulder. She was slim and with only one look Alexandra could guess she was a person who held an important position in the socialite's world. The woman wore a bright red dress which looked very sexy on her figure.

Just as she was about to greet the woman, the woman turned around and smiled widely while her eyes were focused on something behind her.

"Nikolei, darling. Are you ready to go to the ball? We have about thirty minutes before the ball starts."

Alexandra's eyes widened at the woman flirty gestures and right there, her what seemed to be already broken heart, had shattered into more thousands of pieces. Nikolei approached the woman with a big smile on his face and hugged the woman right in front of her, affectionately.

In front of his own wife.

He even gladly and openly accepted the kiss from her and what shocked Alexandra more was that the kiss was on the lips. He accepted it gladly, trying to show his love for the other woman than his own wife.

When they parted from each other, the woman's eyes landed on her and sneered. "You should tell your maid not to laze around the house, Nikolei. Hmph, maybe she needed something to convinced her that she will never be able to get you into bed with her." She said mockingly and sent Alexandra a smug smile.

Alexandra would not have feel anything, but she was deeply hurt when Nikolei laughed to his girlfriend's statement showing how he had agreed to her opinion. And what had hurt her the most was when Nikolei had dismissed her and never corrected the woman.

"Excuse my maid, Sophie. They intend to get too hopeful when you had treated them right. Now, shall we? You may go to your room, Alexandra." He had mocked her at the last part.

Instead of inviting her, his real wife, to the ball, he had gone with his mistress to the ball. He did not want anyone to know about their marriage. Now it was crystal clear of what was his intentions when he wanted the wedding to be behind closed doors surrounded by his family only.

Now, she need not any confirmation. The thought she had in mind will leave her no regrets, and she was determined of it.