When her divorce became final, she didn't cheer or cry. She felt empty and numb. She had lost more than just her marriage, but she swept it aside and put on her happy face.

Things were working out and although she missed her babies, she used the time to get work done. She enhanced lessons and became a better teacher. The spring after the twins turned two she met Kristi. They were renting the house next to hers. The four kids just took to each other and ran around and played. She remembered telling her she was divorced, which made her feel like a failure, being divorced so young.

They became friends and Kristi wanted to know about her failed marriage. She had decided never to speak of the humiliating details again and refused to tell her anything. Then Dan and her ex befriended each other which was weird.

One day Kristi announced, "Peter won't tell me anything either."

It relieved her. She didn't want him talking behind her back. She slowly grew accustomed to hearing Kristi mentioning Peter's name and secretly hoped she was mentioning her name to him.

That summer, she started supporting Karen through her separation and ultimate divorce. Megan's was easy compared to what Karen faced. Megan sent her to Candace, because she would take care of her. It was hard watching her friend go through the abuse from her soon to be ex-husband. Megan was the one who took advantage in her divorce.

She debated including her ex in the appointments about Nick's ear infections. She finally broke down and called him for the first time since - since before. Hearing from her shocked him. He left her wondering why he hung up so quickly. She shouldn't be so curious about his life, but she knew so little about it.

She was just as glad when he chose to only be there for the actual procedure when the doctor inserted the tubes. By then she had learned about his girlfriend, the psycho. She was angry, but before she could elevate the argument, he placated her by promising that he was through with dating.

Megan hadn't started dating. She had high hopes for her date scheduled that Saturday night with a teacher in her building. If Peter was having sex, then she would too. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough of an attraction to complicate things with sex and it left her disappointed.

By the time Nick's procedure was scheduled, her only concern was Nick and spending a few hours with Peter. They both kissed Nick goodbye and she could tell Peter wanted to reach out to her. She saw him move his arm and then jerk it back. He was actually good company as they waited. He started a benign conversation which occupied her thoughts. When they could see Nick, she watched him with their son. She could never say he didn't love them. Still, he disappeared right after Nick woke up.

Megan went through a very difficult time when she needed to upgrade her phone and suddenly was considering finally getting rid of that picture that changed her life. She had saved it, but refused to look at it. She poured herself a glass of wine and finally got the courage to look at it, really look at it. She knew what she was looking for. She drank the whole glass and poured another before opening the picture. She studied it using her fingers to enlarge it and she knew right away that it was not his chest.

How could she have been so stupid?

She ruined her marriage over a prank. Looking at his face, she could tell he was too tan for December. That picture was probably taken the day at the beach when the bitch held her baby and called her fat.

Megan had felt fat after that and wondered every day why Peter chose her. The stress of the babies and the lack of sleep and sex convinced her he would leave her any day. Then he would hold her and remind her he loved her. Tiredness would take over once again and convince her he couldn't love her. So after he stormed out, and she saw the picture it was exactly what she had been expecting. Megan wondered with hindsight if she hadn't had some postpartum depression, because of how irrational her thinking was.

At the time she had been wounded and started the divorce proceedings. She had also convinced herself that Peter had cheated with the girl from the lab. Another blow came when she discovered that she was very wrong. She was shopping during a February vacation with the twins at the LL Bean Outlet. Megan noticed her, she didn't remember her name, but she remembered her look. She had long dark hair almond-shaped eyes and a look that belonged on a sitcom not a science lab. There she was shopping and holding hands with another woman.

She looked at the twins and approached her. "I recognize these two cuties from their pictures." Turning towards her friend she said, "These are Peter's twins, Nick and Sophie. He has tons of pictures on his desk in his lab."

Megan asked, "Do you still work together?"

"At the research center, but different projects." She responded nice enough, but Megan wondered if in her mind she was saying, that's the bitch who divorced Peter.

She finished the second glass of wine and a third. It mortified her she had been so stupid. Candace's words came back to her about how the bell couldn't be unrung. She had hurt Peter, and he still didn't fight her. He let her trample all over him. He would never forgive her. She would never forgive herself.

She learned to avoid the past by tucking it away. She was moving forward, and she and Peter were functioning. They could speak and even swap the kids without stress. She commonly let him take them on Friday night too. Much of their hard negotiations became an outline they worked around. He still paid her on time every month without fail.

Any issues she had with the past didn't stop her from improving her body image. One day, she realized that she wasn't fat anymore. She held her head higher and felt good about herself. She didn't love her hair color or freckles, but she took pride in their uniqueness.

So it was this Megan who put on a little makeup, brushed her hair and set out for The Beach House to meet an old friend. It was summer, and she was at the beach. She had a bounce in her step. She had spent the day with her twins, and she was going out as an adult. She was as happy as the circumstances of her life allowed.

She sat at the bar, and the bartender smiled. "What can I get you?"

"A glass of Pinot Grigio." She smiled back.