43 - Peter

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Peter stayed in his room a long time. Once he received notice that the road was open, he texted her begging her to let him come and talk to her. Her response was harsh. She said that she would call the police. The last thing they needed was the police involved.

By noon there was a knock at his door. On the other side was Becka asking to come in. He didn't answer, and she opened the door. She sat on the edge of the bed and held him. He cried in her arms like he was the baby.

"Can't you talk to her?"

"She refuses to talk to me. I can't make her. I don't know what to do."

"She probably just needs time. I bet she'll be begging you to come help with the babies by tomorrow," Becka said optimistically.

"Jesus! I have to work tonight. It's one of the busiest nights of the year." It was New Year's Eve, and they had made plans. He would come home from work and wake her just before midnight. Not very exciting, but they weren't living an exciting life.

"Can't you call in sick?"

"No, they need me. Maybe being busy will take my mind off my troubles." His voice had no emotion. "Would you do me a huge favor?"

"If I can."

"Will you drive over and get my things? Ed has them."

"Your things?"

"Yes, from what Ed said they're in trash bags."

"I guess she is furious."

While Becka was gone his mother tried to feed him, but he couldn't eat - his stomach felt awful. He just stayed in his room feeling sorry for himself and missing Meg and the twins. She stuffed all his belongings into two trash bags. He took out his suit and shirts and hung them up. He didn't want to unpack because he didn't want to stay here.

He wanted to go home. Their home was tiny, but theirs. The price was good considering the location, but they had to add insulation and update the heat. The taxes alone were high. It took most of Megan's salary to pay for it all. He hadn't even finished the insulation work; because once the babies came he was too busy. He knew people thought they were crazy to buy that house, but Megan wanted to live on The Point. All he wanted was to make her happy.

He was sure that she wasn't happy now. He worried about the babies and their colds. He worried about her getting shoveled out from the snow. Did someone help her? He found clean clothes which was tricky because she had thrown both clean and dirty clothes together in the bags. He went to shower hoping it might make him feel better. It really didn't. He went to work because they needed him, and he needed the job.

Work kept him busy, but it didn't take his mind off his problems. At the end of his shift he wanted to go home and climb in bed and hold his wife. He missed her. He missed her so much it hurt all over.

He didn't have a plan. He worked and picked up extra shifts when he could. He sent out résumés and followed up on his job search and every day at noon he stopped by the daycare to see the twins. The first day, when they smiled at him he almost cried. He was convinced that after three days they would have forgotten them. He knew the teacher and assistant by name, as well as the other babies. It was the best hour of his day.

On Thursday, he received the phone call he had been waiting for about the research job. They were offering him a position. The money was decent - more than what Megan made. He wanted to be happy, but a shadow of gloom was cast over everything. He wanted to share his news with Megan, but would wait until he saw her.

He went to see Marie hoping she could help. He was nervous facing his in-laws knowing what a mess he caused. After his visit to the daycare he called and asked if he could come over to talk. He didn't have to work that night and had nothing, but hours stretched ahead of him.

She welcomed him in and she had cookies for him - just like he loved. He sat and told her what happened and she believed him. He told her about the job and her congratulations were lackluster considering the bigger issue.

He held himself together, although he felt like he was on the verge of tears. She must have noticed that, or he hadn't finished his first cookie.

"Are you eating?"

"Not really. I can't keep it down. I was violently ill that morning and still feel sick."

"You need to eat or you'll be sick. Let me make you something."

"No. I don't want food. I want to go home to my wife and babies." He felt his eyes wet.

She put her arms around him, and he cried.

"Sorry. I didn't cry this much when my father left and I was seven. I will not abandon my children."

"Of course, not, no one would want that."

It was then that they decided that she would borrow the twins on Saturday, so he could spend time with them.

Saturday came, and he arrived early. She tried to feed him, but he refused. Ed was there, as well which made Peter nervous. He was afraid Ed would be protective of his daughter, but he was much like his wife in his belief that it would all blow over and work out.

When Marie came back with the babies, he met her at the car and carried Sophie in. She smelled wonderful as he buried his nose into her. He had just seen them the day before, but somehow the daycare was different. He felt more restraint, but here he could kiss them, and if he cried it was okay.

"They need to go home after lunch for nap."

Peter just lied down on the floor and let them crawl over him, touch him, kiss him. He knew they loved him in their own baby way. He changed their diapers. Marie left him alone until they became fussy at lunch time. Together they offered them an assortment of soft finger foods, cheese, avocado, chicken, melon. Marie asked about bottles, and Peter told her that their mommy would feed them. Reluctantly he held them each close to take in their scent one more time as he helped Marie buckle them into their car seats.

On Monday, he would start his new job. He was anxious and hoped he could go out at lunch to see his babies. What he really hoped was that Meg would come around and respond to him. He knew if they could talk, and he could hold her, everything would be alright.

On Tuesday it snowed overnight. Peter set his alarm for five-thirty and drove over to shovel Megan out. The four inches was not enough to cancel school, but enough to make getting out the door with two babies difficult. If she knew he was out there, she didn't let on. He had visions of her running out the door and into his arms, but life was not the movies.

By his second week of work, nothing had changed. He had reduced his hours at Mario's to only weekends. Meanwhile, he was settling in at the lab. He often stayed longer than required.

His boss, Leo came through. "Go home. I thought you have small children."

"I do. I go see them at lunch." Thankfully, the daycare was close.

"Still you must be missed at home."

"Truthfully, no. We're having some problems. I've been staying with my mother, so I'd rather be here." Peter didn't see any need to lie.

On the third Saturday, when he went to see his children and the life he knew shattered to pieces with his heart.


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