40 - Peter

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The fall after the twins were born was stressful and exhausting. Too much stress was piling up on him - on both of them. He was still trying to finish his masters and was looking for a job. He had his sights set on the Medical Research Center, but there were a few other options in the area. He didn't want to look so far it would require moving. Leaving The Point would kill Megan and he didn't want to either. He was a husband and a father and he still worked at his high school jobs. They had to scrimp just to make ends meet.

He was working at Mario's part-time and taking classes in the evening. Meanwhile, they were saving on daycare, because he was home with the twins. There was also the work on the house. The updates and weatherization were not finished. They had to balance their time and the expense, and it was taking longer than they planned.

During the season, he picked up shifts at The Landing. Megan couldn't work because of the babies. They had no time for each other. When they finally fell into bed at night, they were both exhausted.

He doubled his class load over the summer because Megan was home. Studying and trying to get time in the lab was hard with two newborns. They rarely went to the beach.

They tried to get together with their friends on the beach once, but Harmony ruined it. He would never forget the look on Meg's face when she saw Harmony holding one baby. He hadn't said she could. She just took what she wanted like always. This time it was their child right out of the stroller and Meg's maternal instincts kicked in. The whole thing would have been funny, if the insults hadn't started. Megan believed everything Harmony said. When she told her she was ugly in high school, she believed it and when she told her she was fat on the beach. She believed it. No matter how many times he told her that Harmony was just jealous, she didn't believe him. It was frustrating, because she was beautiful, smart, and caring. To him she was still sexy, sure the twins changed things, but her body had carried his babies. There was nothing sexier than that. He would rather fleshy curvy hips to skinny bony ones any day.

She changed that day. She was ashamed of her body and tried to hide it from him. When they made love, which with infant twins and a busy schedule wasn't often, she always wore a shirt or wanted the room dark. When he held her and touched her, he had to avoid her belly or she'd snap. "Don't touch my fat!" He didn't care because he loved her, all of her. In fact, he loved her more than she loved herself.

Peter was glad the twins disrupted their plans. He loved Nicholas and Sophie and couldn't imagine life without them. Just looking at their little faces filled his heart. He was good at caring for them too. He perfected holding them both and crossing his arms to feed them at the same time. It wasn't as beautiful as when Megan fed them. She had spent most of her time that summer breastfeeding and pumping to store up milk for when school started.

He lost count of the diapers they changed and the money they spent on diapers. They had some help from Marie and Becka. His mother came to visit when she could, but she had to work. When fall came it was just Marie. She helped so he could keep up with school. The list of things to do was so much longer than the hours in the day.

Out of pure exhaustion he and Meg were often short with each other. She had her own pressures with being a new teacher. She was starting her third year and was still finding her way. They always apologized and made up, but some days things got so overwhelming that she would just cry. He would hold her and remind her of how much he loved her.

Their first Christmas with the twins was special. Both were crawling and their mobility made them slightly less needy. They would venture away from their parents allowing them to watch and enjoy them. They had a small tabletop tree that the twins would look at with wide eyes and point to with chubby fingers. Their chubby cheeks and drooling smiles were adorable. Everything was getting better, even little things like Megan was no longer their only source of nutrition. They were eating baby food and some table food.

If he could just get a job the worst of it would be over. He wished he had a gift for Meg, but Santa only came for the twins. They had finished all their obligatory family visits and were home together on Christmas afternoon. Peter and Megan sat on the floor while the twins crawled around them.

Peter said, "I feel like they're getting easier."

"I know. We finally sleep through the night... sometimes."

"They're a lot of work, but I love them like crazy."

"I love them and you."

Peter whispered. "I think I just thought of a Christmas present that we can give each other."

Megan smiled. "I think we need to wait until these two cuties go to sleep," Megan leaned over and blew on Nick's belly as the baby giggled.

They both fell asleep and Peter got what he wanted for Christmas. He almost loved the holding and talking more - almost. He only had one wish that Megan saw herself as he did.

He whispered that she was beautiful, and he loved her. She responded by pressing herself closer to him. I just want to be with her and love her forever, he thought as he drifted off to sleep with his wife in his arms.


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