" NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'LL
NEED TO FIGHT BACK "

–

As I sat at the window facing front front of my home, knees to my chest and head rested on the glass, a hint of trepidation began to rise in my chest. I was scared, as much as I hated to admit it. I was scared of the future. I was scared to leave the house that morning with Dallas to visit the boys. I knew deep down it was less of a gut feeling than I thought it was. If a greaser from the east did anything to cross the west, they were a dead man. And Johnny had done the worst he could have done — took one of their own. He would never be able to show his face around town again.

I shut my eyes and hung my head in my arms. The sound of the television waking up made my eyes shoot toward the couch. Steve, who had been deep in slumber minutes prior, was now attentive as ever watching his favourite weekend cartoons. I was hoping he wouldn't have woken up before I left the house, because he always had too many questions to ask.

His gaze turned to me. "Why are you awake and dressed this early in the morning?"

My lips parted then sealed shut as I tried to think up a reasonable answer. "Dallas and I are going to breakfast."

He raised his brows in a condescending way, clearly not a fan of the relationship. "Uh huh. Must be getting real serious if Dallas is asking you to go to breakfast, of all people."

I shot him a glare and turned back toward the window. "I asked him."

"Whatever. Hey, why'd you have to go dating my friends? I don't go around making out with all your buddies."

"That's my because friends are your friends, and don't act like you don't wanna suck faces with Sodapop. Besides, you're barely even nice to Dallas. Don't act like you guys are best buddies."

He paused a short moment before turning back to his program. "A gang is a gang."

I couldn't argue with that. Steve may not have been able to go to Dallas when he needed personal advice or somebody to talk to, and Dallas wouldn't dream of doing anything of the sort with Steve. But you could bet if Dallas spotted Steve getting picked on by a group of Socs, there'd be hell to raise.

There were a few minutes of silence — apart from the cartoons voices — until Steve spoke sonorously. "Listen, Holly- if you know-"

"Just stop," I said, cutting him off. "No, Steve. I don't know anything."

He seemed as if he wanted to make a rebuttal, but instead turned back to the television and didn't say another word. It stayed that way until another hour had gone by, Steve had retreated back to his room, and I took over the rest of the house. Steve was a strange man. sometimes you couldn't take him seriously at all. Other times he lost that mood, and became somebody who was deep down much more stressed and anxious. I figured it might have only been myself and Soda that saw that side of him.

I lounged on the couch, cleaned to ease my anxiety, and then put my shoes on because I knew Dallas would arrive soon. That he did. As soon as I looked out my window, he was approaching the gate of my home. I looked him from head to toe, his dishevelled hair, brown leather jacket and shoes to match. The rims of his black sunglasses framed his face nicely. I walked over to the door and out before he could even approach the steps.

"Well well," Dallas commented, pushing his sunglasses up. He squinted from the light. "We in a rush?"

I looked down and let a subtle pink tint rise to my cheeks. Dallas inched closer and wrapped his arms around my lower back, pulling me into him and his lips to mine. He usually wasn't one to greet me like that, but then again, he usually wasn't my boyfriend.

There was something so special about kissing Dallas. Such a tender and caring exchange of affection from someone who everyone had said to be cold and detached. A soft touch from hands that caused a lot of people pain. It was strange how it worked like that, but I loved knowing I had that side of Dallas.

When he pulled away, I placed my cheek against his chest. "I'm nervous."

"Don't be."

"How can you just say that?" I asked, almost shocked he didn't seem a bit hesitant going to visit the two. It was extremely dangerous to have them out in public or be seen with them. It had to be done, nonetheless, and it would be. However, the pit of my stomach didn't seem to agree.

"They're hidden over there. I know what I'm doin', Holls. You know what kinda guy I am? I'm not lettin' Johnny rot away in jail for the rest of his life cause he killed some good for nothin' Soc. You know how many times I've come close to pullin' out my blade just like he did? Man, shoulda been me."

"Dallas..." I looked down. "This shouldn't be a Greaser and Soc rivalry matter. This is more than that."

It was clear Dallas didn't really agree much, and his distaste for the other side of the tracks was so strong that a murder was minimized to being a sort of revenge. I knew Johnny felt quite differently. However, if there was one thing, I could see the worry in his eyes, because even though Dallas wouldn't miss the guy, just about everybody on the west side of town would. Bob Sheldon was one of the most popular boys in town.

"Yeah yeah," he muttered, "let's go."

He had taken Buck's car, probably paid him off for a day or two to let him borrow it. Buck was cheap with that, especially when it came to Dallas. It reeked of cigarette smoke and marijuana and cheap cologne. It wasn't an unbearable smell — once we got going, Dallas let the top down and we began cruising down the vacant street lined by trees, trees, and more trees. The breeze was gentle against my skin, and I let it blow my hair into a knotted mess. I tipped the purple rimmed sunglasses from the top of my head to my nose.

Dallas looked over, one hand on the steering wheel, and put on his sunglasses as well. His jacket was off his body laying somewhere in the backseat, and the wind blew his thin white shirt around as if he were caught in the middle of a storm.

"You look good," he said, looking me from head to toe. My outfit was a little bit more revealing that day — I wore jeans with a top that only covered my chest, a lilac purple color. It was warm out, and I didn't want to spend the day drowning in my own sweat.

"You look better."

I slid over in my seat and let my head rest on his shoulder. Somehow, I felt tremendously more relaxed than I had before we left. The sun was hitting my skin in a pleasant way. Dallas smelled of soap and cigarettes. I pulled out one, with the thought, and lit it with the chain around his neck.

"We'll be there soon, give it ten," he said, turning the corner which caused me to nearly tumble across the seat. I grunted and took a drag from my cigarette, letting it get lost in the wind behind me. Dallas wrapped his arm around me so his erratic driving wouldn't throw me around the car. i figured if he just kept both hands on the wheel, we wouldn't have that problem, but I didn't say anything. I liked his arm around me.

"The churchhouse, man." Dallas sighed. I offered him the last half of my cigarette, and he took it. "Gives me the creeps. Didn't think I'd be comin' back here."

I shrank in my seat. I truly hoped Pony and Johnny were doing alright there. I didn't respond — I really didn't want to think about it any more than I had to until we got there. The ride didn't last much longer, just like Dallas had said. Five minutes until I asked Dallas whether we needed to stop for the stuff to get Pony and Johnny. He said he already had. I let my head rest back on his shoulder, and the bumpy ride only last five or six more minutes.

He was right. The building was desolate. Dreary. It seemed almost forgotten about, with overgrown weeds and smashed windows accompanied by torn floor boards. It was not pretty, by any means, but the view was nice, and they were surely hidden.

Dallas creeped around the side of the building, kicking whatever was in his way and scaring any animals, like squirrels and mice off. He wasn't doing his best to stay silent, so I hissed at him. "You're gonna scare them."

"They know we're coming," he said, waving my comment off.

I shook my head. Once we managed to find the entrance, we crossed over into the building and directly toward the two boys who were sound asleep. The first thing I noticed was Pony's bright blonde, yellow hair that he had cut so short it didn't even curl around his ears as it used to.

Dallas leaned down close and grunted. "Hey blondie, heh heh. Wake up."

Ponyboy squinted and moaned with displeasure, swatting his hand away. "Hey, Dal."

His gaze turned to me not long after, and seemed to light up a bit more. "Hey, Holly.

"Missed you, Pony."

Dallas kicked the bench Johnny was sleeping on. "Rise and shine." He woke up faster than Pony, with more energy and much more excitement.

"Hey Dal. Oh — Hi Holly. How've you guys been? How's everyone back home? Is the fuzz after us?"

Dallas, who was checking out the place, swung around and held his palms up. "Woah, one thing at a time. You guys hungry, uh, you wanna get something to eat? I'm starving?"

"You're starving?" Johnny questioned. "Try eating bologna for four days."

Dallas's laugh was intoxicating. I began to giggle along with him, and made my way over to sit near him. He came closer to me and placed a hand on my back. I reached into the pocket of my jeans and fiddled around in there a little bit before pulling out the letter that Soda had given me to give to Pony.

"I have something for ya, Pony. A letter from Soda." I tossed it over and he caught it, not seeming to catch on.

"I thought they didn't know where we were."

"They don't. Soda just had a feeling I knew, and he was right."

He sat down on the creaky bench and began to read. I turned to Dallas who bummed a smoke off Johnny and interlocked my hand with his. We all sat and smoked for a bit, letting Pony finish off his letter. He then folded it and placed it to the side, turning back to us.

"So, Dal, what's going on with the cops? Did ya get pulled in for questioning?" Johnny asked. Pony seemed eager to know too, scooting closer to the end of the bench.

Dallas began to chuckle under his breathe. "I have 'em thinkin' you guys ran off to Texas. They think you guys are in Texas, man. Can you believe that?" He shook his head and chewed at the corner of his lip, then looked back at Pony. "Look at Blondie, man."

"I know I look lousy, but don't rub it in." He appeared bothered and uncomfortable, probably pretty insecure about the way he looked at the moment. He always took pride in his long, dark, greasy hair.

"It's alright, Pony. I'll introduce you to toner next time I come up."

That seemed to crack a smile out of him, although I was doubtful Ponyboy even knew what toner was. I gave him a comforting squeeze on the shoulder.

Dallas got up, suggesting we all go get some food, and not long after we were in his car cruising down the road at full speed, just like Dallas liked it. I sat front seat with Johnny directly behind me and Pony adjacent. They seemed a bit confused as to why Johnny was shoved in the back — usually Johnny was always number one. They didn't know that Dallas was my boyfriend.

He took his hands off the wheel and  held them up, smiling like an idiot, swerving the car side to side as he got his chuckles out. Johnny and Pony screamed at him as I leaned over and took the wheel in my hands, making sure the car didn't steer off the road. He rubbed the back of my neck. "You wanna drive, baby?"

"No," I said, deadpan. "I do want to stay alive, though."

He grinned and took his hand off my neck so that both of them were on the wheel. He stopped playing around until we got to the turn into the fast food place and he nearly got the end of Buck's car taken off. I made sure to curse him out for that one.

After ordering our food, we pulling into a vacant parking space. Ponyboy was plowing down his food as if his life depended on it, and Johnny was doing the same. I wasn't very hungry, so I took a few bites from my burger and then put it down.

Dallas reached into the side compartment of the car and pulled out a handgun. My face froze. "Dallas!" I whisper yelled to not draw attention. "Why would we need that right now? You shouldn't have brought it."

"Never know when you'll need to fight back, Holls." He continued to fiddle around with it, cursing and grunting at it. A girl with pigtails and a little boy by her side not much younger approached the back of the car, making Dallas shove the gun behind him.

"Do you have any change?" She asked. When Dallas shooed her away, and she asked for fifteen cents, then a dime, I reached into my pocket and flicked a coin over at her. She caught it and didn't hesitate in scrambling away. I knew Dallas hated kids, but I wasn't going to let him be mean to them while I was around.

"See, you'll go getting yourself caught."

"Relax, Holls." He shoved the gun away so it was out sight. "There, see."

I crossed my arms and made a distasteful noise. Dallas placed a hand on my leg, rubbing up and down soothingly until I stopped being bitter toward him. "Listen," he said, turning toward the boys, "Shepard's gang and us, we're gonna have it out with some Soc's in the vacant lot tomorrow night."

"A rumble?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah."

I narrowed my brows. "You didn't tell me."

He shrugged his shoulders and diverted his attention elsewhere. "You have to stay home anyways."

"No way, I'm coming. I'll be too worried if I stay home. I'll just keep my distance, nobody will see me."

Dallas's lips formed a thin line and his finger tapped vigorously on the leather wheel. He seemed to be ruminating over the thought, but he might had just been annoyed with my persistence.

"Those guys are pigs, Holls. If they see you-"

"I think I'll be the least of their concern when they're getting their ass kicked by you guys."

He shook his head and poked the side of his mouth with his tongue. He laughed and turned back to the boys, not giving a definitive answer as to whether or not he still wanted me coming. I was going to whether he liked it or not, I just hoped I didn't have to go behind his back. I could never tell Dallas this, but the reason I couldn't let him fight in the rumble without me watching was because I knew he was too reckless. He'd take on too many people at once, whip out a knife, fight despite serious injuries. He'd fight for his gang until he was close to death, and he wasn't all that careful with his life. I needed to be assured he was okay.

"Um..." Pony cleared his breath. "Are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend?"

I laughed and looked at Dallas, letting him handle that one. He did the same, but spoke up when he realized I wasn't going to say anything. "Yeah. I got myself a Randle, can you believe it?" He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and slid on his shades.

"That's cool, Dal," Johnny piped in. "I knew it was gonna happen."

We all chatted for a while longer about what was going on with the whole case. Dallas told them everything about how Cherry Valance was going to testify in favour of it being self defence. I appreciated her for that, but I really thought she might've just had the hots for Dal, or maybe Pony. I never really liked her that much, she just didn't seem like the type to be nice to other girls. She was just as popular as Bob Sheldon, rightfully, given she was his girlfriend.

"We're gonna go back and turn ourselves in," Johnny spewed out.

Dallas did a double take. He was looking at Johnny as if his IQ dropped 50 points. "Excuse me?"

"You just said it, if we go and turn ourselves in we'll have a better chance at getting off easy from self defence. If we run, it'll just make things worse."

"You're sure this is what you want to do?" Dallas' temper was growing short.

"Yeah man, it ain't fair for Darry and Soda worrying about Pony all the time. I don't figure my parents have asked about me-"

"The boys have asked about you, man, c'mon. You have Holls here. What the hell else do you need, kid. You got Two-bit ready to go to Mexico to hunt for you. All the way to Mexico, man. You think my dad cares if I'm dead in a ditch somewhere? I get you this hideout and you already wanna turn back and throw it away."

Johnny didn't have much of a rebuttal. He more sunk into his seat and with a bank stare in his eyes, looked off. I couldn't imagine the pain of hearing your parents hadn't asked about your wellbeing after days of not seeing you. Johnny's parents were terrible, but Dallas was right, he did have a good group of people who loved him. It would never be the same, though, and he knew that.

"Whatever, man." Dallas started the car and pulled out of the lot. We began our way down the dirt road, the car rumbling and throwing rocks into the air as we sped. Dallas went on a rant about how he didn't want to see Johnny in jail because it wasn't a pleasant place to be, and I didn't doubt that for a second. Johnny would get beaten down and tormented in prison, like a lost child. It wasn't the place for him, and even I knew that as somebody who had never been there.

Soon, we fell into a silence and there was nothing but the sound of the wind hitting our ears. Then, it grew into what sounded like children playing as we neared the road to the church. I very quickly realized what I thought were laughs, were screams, and the terrified look on Pony's face as he stood in his seat and peered above the trees told me all I needed to know.

The church was in flames.