WARNING🚨: There may contain some sensitive content a head which is triggering. If you feel like you can't read a head then please stop at any moment.

Third person's POV.

Guilt.

Something worse that can tackle you down in a second when you're at your best.

Storm was living through it.

Shame.

Her whole existence was shame. A shameful daughter she was. A pathetic shit.

Can't even save her own mother.

It's been three days. Three days since her mother's burial. Three days since she started to feel hopeless.

Storm had no hope left. Nothing. Why was she living again? Just to get reminded on how brutally her mother and father got killed? To reminded on how she failed to protect them? To live without a hope not knowing when it's gonna stop?

She begin to feel nothing other than pure guilt and grief.

After that day, she didn't even shed a tear. She just stopped it. It was as though she was drained out of that emotion. Although she was physically becoming numb, she had this black hollowness in her heart that no one could ever fill. Not even herself.

Her soul was drained out of emotions while her body was nothing but numb which made her detached from herself. From everything. She couldn't even acknowledge herself let alone everything that surrounds her.

She craved for something. Anything. Storm wanted to feel something physically to make herself realize that she really was alive. Anything to escape this endless black hole which have sucked her whole soul.

And her eyes sure caught the razor beside that sink which looked quite tempting at the moment. It was as though that the shiny glint of sharpness was luring her as if it was a precious jewelry, attracting her like a magnet, just like any other women who loved admiring the expensive accessories.

No. She wasn't planning on taking her life. That would be too easy. She can't be dead just like that.

Pain.

Her body yearned to feel that pain. The stinging pain that you feel when you run the sharp side of razor on your raw skin. Tearing it ever so effortless while it dig deep into the flesh making the crimson to leak out, giving that deep color to skin where the sharpness have drawn.

She was craving to feel that burning pain on her body.

Something.

Anything

Anything other then this whatever she's feeling now. Just so she could forget and take her mind out of this numbness even if it's only for a few minutes.

Taking it in her grasp, she ran her thumb through the sharpness ever so lightly and saw how red leaked from the mere tear she made. Feeling that gentle sting on the pad of her thumb.

Licking her dry lips, she backed away and slide down on the wall to the floor. She was already wearing one of her husband's boxer on her bottom since she stays in his room.

Plopping her left thigh up, she spread her legs apart. Without wasting any time, she found the sweet spot on her tan skinned thigh.

Ever so elegantly placing the sharpness on her skin, she stretched it. Tearing the skin open a bit. Her thigh stinged but she didn't battle an eye. She didn't reacted to it. That wasn't enough.

This time, she digged the razor a bit more deep into the flesh of her thigh, wanting to really feel it in since tearing the skin isn't enough for her.

Storm watched how the blood coated the razor as she kept it there, lips lightly twitching at the raising stinging pain.

With a swift, she drew a cut harshly.

A hiss left from her lips as she felt it. She could feel where the cut start and where it ends even if she close her eyes.

That was a bit deep.

Not enough.

Three.

Four.

Six.

Six became eight.

Eight became twelve.

And twelve became fourteen.

Biting her lips hard, Storm threw her head back to the wall, holding back a groan as her eyes became glassy as she felt that familiar burning sensation creeping up on her thigh. Feeling that pain on her very bone making her crave for more.

Yes. More.

More pain.

More blood.

Another cut.

Another one.

Make it look pretty.

Her whole thigh was crimson colored, the blood oozing out from the aggressive cut she made was dripping down from her thigh to the floor. Even the end of loose boxer had soaked some of the blood.

Her breath picked up a pace as she started to pant while licking her lips.

Placing the razor on her bloody thigh, before she could mark her body with another scar, the door to the bathroom was yanked opened by a tall figure which was the least thing she could acknowledge.

"Your phone has been- WHAT THE FUCK." Although the voice was loud, it felt too distant.

More blood.

Lots of blood.

One more scar.

Before she could draw the razor over her skin, a shriek left her lips followed by a groaned as her thigh flexed which made more blood to ooze out from the wound she have gifted her with.

Looking up, her glassy silver orbs was met with a pair of dark nighty once which were glaring at her with pure range.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE." His roared making her flinch.

Suddenly her thigh felt that sudden burn as the pain surged through out her whole being making her feel fuzzy in head. It felt as though she was being skinned.

Making her see that dark dots as if she gonna pass out any second while all she could register was that pain which felt increased by seconds as now she was yanked into reality from that daze. Making her more conscious.

"The fuck were you thinking?" A pained voice left her lips as Taehyung's hand brushed against her newly cut scars.

Taking the fluffy towel while cursing out, he warped it around her bleeding thigh.

This time she really have lost it, didn't she?

Before Taehyung could take care of that, he heard a mumbling making him snap his head up to her.

"Razor."

"Where's the razor?" She looked into his eyes. "Where?" Looking around the surroundings, she run her hand on floor frantically in search for the said razor.

"Storm-"

"No. pain. More pain. Lots of blood." She started repeat it over over again which sure concerned Taehyung.

Kneeling completely on bathroom floor, he took her teary face in his large hand and make herself look into his face. "Don't. Don't do this to yourself. Anyone but yourself." His voice stern making sure she got his words in her head.

"Leave me alone you damn." Shoving his hands away, she quickly took of the the towel he wrapped on her thigh.

Taehyung's eyes widened as she started to scratch her fresh bloody wounds horribly with her bare nails while letting out a small pained hiss.
Cursing out, he holds both her hands away, making her struggle to get free from that firm hold of his.

"Fucking be in your sense bitch." Shoving her to floor, he quickly straddled her waist which earned a pained grunt from her as more tears left her eyes and he didn't knew why. He didn't knew if it was because of the pain or something else.

"You heard me? You ain't gonna do this to yourself." Taehyung snapped as now his own hands were painted in red.

Her blood.

"Fucking leave me."

No. Taehyung wasn't gonna let her do this. Not his baby sparkles.

She don't deserve this.

"Stop doing this to yourself sparkles."

"THE FUCK YOU WANT ME TO DO? KILL MYSELF? AT LEAST LET ME FEEL IT YOU FUCKING IMBECILE."

Anger raising up, she had this sudden urge to trash around. Destroy every fucking thing that she could get her hands on. Maybe bang her husband's head on the very floor, making him bleed and kill him just like that.

A sudden mood change.

"Baby-"

She breathed out gritting her teeth with teary eyes.

"This doesn't concerns you. Just let me be. Let me go." She whispered while tightening her thigh muscle to feel that pain again. The only thing she wanted to feel was that pain and nothing else.

"I'll kill kill myself the next second, leave." Barely a whisper as she let herself sink into that pain.

That's right.

Feel that pain.

Oh, the urge to cry out at the moment was more than anything.

Not having any hope left to live, not having anyone or anything while the pain is the only thing which made sense for her. The very pain which she felt at the moment making her realize that she was alive. Making her feel something.

Her mother died when she, herself,  was alive and breathing. Just why was she living?

Just like one of those vase fallen and broken, she have been casted out and broken into pieces with too many sharp edges that it would hurt if someone touch it. Her hands were damaged too many time that she can't even collect the pieces now let alone arrange it. She's tired of that.

Now on the very road of nowhere she lays, broken and wounded, no one would dare to take her as she bleed. And she wanted nothing but to sink into that endless physical pain until she become numb to it too.

Mentally drained out, she was becoming numb to emotions and the physical pain which she felt at the moment made her want to cry out and scream more than anything.

She flinched when she felt large cold hands engulfing her face.

Taehyung.

"The only one whose gonna kill you is me and me only. Not even yourself." He growled and leaned in more towards her.

Taehyung knew why she was doing this. He knew well and that was making him feel alot of things.

Lot of emotions.

Knowing her was alot for him.

It tugged a part of him as he saw how her lips were twitching as she was on verge of crying out, maybe because of pain or it was something else. He didn't knew.

"You concerns me." He said and looked into her eyes only to see nothing as she stared back into his own nighty once.

Not even the usual glint of her soul which he sees in her eyes which made him realize how much shattered her soul was.

Leaning in, their breath mingled as their nose touched.

Both didn't closed their eyes. Keeping eyes on each other. "Everything regarding you concerns me. If you have fallen down then I'm gonna drag your ass all the way up. Even if I have drag you through the fucking road while you bleed then I don't fucking care, but I'm not leaving you alone."

"Because I fucking care about you."

Not just care. A lot. He felt a lot for her. Alot that he shouldn't be admitting.

He don't know what exactly he felt but Taehyung knew one thing, this women right here don't deserve this. She don't deserve to be treated like this, not even by herself.

Her body deserves to be worshiped.

He'll make sure to do that.

He'll make sure she realizes that she wasn't alone but he, her husband was there for her.

He wanted be there for her not because Bella asked to, but because he wanted to.

"You wanted to feel the pain right? Let me give you the feeling which gonna totally fucking wreck you that your fucking brain gonna forget all those shit and remember me and my name only." He rasped and scooped her up with him.

__________________________

To all who are reading this. Hurting yourself is not the right thing. Don't find that comfort in hurting yourself. Please don't do that to yourself because you don't deserve that treatment from yourself.

If you ever feel like talking to someone, then my Dm's are always open for you. Even if it's about a bad day I'll be here to listen. Just don't think that you're alone.

I purple you 💜

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