| jungkook's point of view

The details of how Sewon became my sister was unclear to me. I was young and had no idea about the world I lived in. How it could be so deceiving and cruel.

When I was in middle school, I came home one day and heard my parents arguing loudly in their bedroom. I couldn't help but over hear what they were fighting about. I found a little girl crying in the living room. I was told about her afterwards; she is my half sister.

I have always wanted to be a big brother to someone. I wanted someone I could protect, someone who would look up to me like a hero and so I was happy when I learned about Sewon. I accepted her right away. No questions asked. To me, her history was not important. I didn't care about her being my father's child to a mistress or having to share my father's fortune with her. Those things were of no importance to me because she made my life brighter when she came.

I was kind to her. I looked after her ever since but somewhere on the way, I developed feelings that I know I shouldn't have for my own sister. I was aware of the strange emotion in my chest. I asked myself if it was possible. I even tested myself; I let Sewon have a boyfriend. She always asked me for advice but I couldn't keep my head straight when she mentions his name. After two weeks, they broke up. He left Sewon because he said she was too boring. My blood was boiling in anger. I couldn't see anything but violence and the need to beat him up to death.

I was sent to guidance counseling for the first time in my life. My hands were full of cuts and bruises. They told me I had anger management issues. I couldn't care less. He provoked me. I knew Sewon would know about it and I was afraid she'd hate me.

"Jungkook!" She sneaked into my bed room because I was being punished by my father. Nobody was allowed to see me or talk to me.

"Why did you do it?" Her face filled with worry as she sat on my bed. She took my bandaged hand, "Now look at your hand. You know he's not worth it."

"But he hurt you and you cried in front of me." I told her looking straight into her eyes. "I can't let any guy do that to you."

"I told you I'm fine. I knew you'd do something like that. I'm sorry, because of me you're being punished by father." She hung her head low.

I took my hand to lift her chin up so I could see her face better. I flashed her a gentle smile, but it's not because I was her older brother. I pulled her in a hug and with my bandaged hand, I patted her head, "It's not your fault I'm being punished. I'm sorry for making you worry. I won't do it again."

She was crying when I pulled away, "You always make me worry."

I smiled and wiped her tears away, "I promise to not make you worry anymore so stop crying, hm?" And then I kissed her.

I don't care if it was wrong. She looked so beautiful and I just have to kiss her.

*

"Why didn't you invite Sewon over?" My mother asked over dinner. My father never liked Sewon because she was the living proof of his mistake and I hated my father because of it.

"She's practicing for her recital." I said, ignoring the obvious hints of dislike by my father.

"Don't hang around with that girl. She's not a good company. She might even blackmail you for money just like her mother." Father said sternly.

My hands were tightly closed around the spoon I was holding. I tried to control my anger but if she speaks of Sewon like that, I don't think I could hold onto my self any longer. I had my teeth clenched to stop myself from talking back. It was never good to talk back to my father. He was feared by many people but he can't faze me. I don't fear him. I loathe him.

"Is there something you want to say, Jungkook?" He asked me directly. I can see my mother telling me to calm down.

She was the only reason why I'm still in this house because I can't leave her with a heartless monster like my father but once he hurts her, I won't stand idly by.

I stood outside of Sewon's school and there I saw her coming out with some guy. She looked like she was enjoying the conversation they were having, enjoying it too much that she didn't notice me waiting for her.

"Me too. Okay, see you then!" She waved goodbye to her friend.

"Sewon." I caught her wrist.

She was startled for a second but she smiled right away when she found out that it was me. Her sweet, beloved boyfriend.

"Who was that?" I asked.

She took the initiative to hold my hand and right then I felt my jealousy fading away, "So how was school today? Anything new?"

"You still haven't answered my question. Who was that guy you were talking to and obviously enjoying his company?" I insisted on knowing the guy's name but she only looked at me and gave me a knowing grin.

"Are you jealous?" Sewon made me stop walking so she could look at my face.

"Of course I'm fucking jealous!" I blurted out. "I don't like seeing you with other guys."

"Then don't go around with other girls!" She turned her cheek away before flashing me another smile, "Feigning innocence won't work. You think I don't know who you hang around with? I have ears and eyes in your school too!"

"Who? Taehyung?" It makes sense. It could only be Taehyung. "And those girls, I don't even talk to them. They're voices are so annoying."

"Jungkook, you frown too much. Look at the lines on your face. It's making you look older than your age." She said, abruptly holding my face in her soft palms and soothing my foul mood.

I smiled and took her hand again, "What can I do? I can only smile when I'm with you."

She laughed, "Liar."

That's how I fell in love with my half sister. It's distorted but it's the only love I know.

*

"Why do we have to hide like this?" I stared at her as she lay on the field of grass, her innocence pulls me closer to damnation. She smiled and turned her head towards me. She was happy in this hidden world but I wasn't. "Sewon, how long will we do this? I don't want to be careful anymore. I want to be with you without having to worry about other people."

She pushed herself up in a sitting position, her long, ore black hair softly passed through my fingers, "Jungkook, you know we can never have that.."

I sat up and made her look at me, "I know what we're doing is wrong. I know that more than anyone else but we can't stay like this forever."

"You know what we are, Jungkook. Please just give it up. We can't be like other people." She said with sad eyes.

I know she's right but I can't accept it. My heart knows what it wants and it's Sewon. She will forever be my secret.

But no secret could be hidden forever. My father found out.

"Father, you called for me." I stood firm in my father's office. My hands behind my back. I was ready to fight for Sewon.

He turned around and threw an object at me but it missed by an inch. "Are you trying to disgrace me! I let you go to that damn school and this is what you learn?"

"I will accept anything just don't take her away, please." I begged my father for the first time because I can't bear to be without Sewon.

"You really are crazy, aren't you?" My father's voice thundered and my mother came running inside. "Take your son away from my sight!!"

"No, father. Please! Don't do anything to Sewon!" I resisted but my mother was too scared of my father. She was scared of what he might do to me so she took me out of the office.

I was forbidden to see Sewon. My mother told me that she was sent away to study abroad and that she's somewhere safe. I'm glad she was safe but my heart died a little at the thought that I wouldn't see her anymore, let alone hear her voice.

*

Years passed and I thought she was really gone not until I saw her again.

"Stop the car!" I told my father's driver. I stumbled out of the car to run after her. She looked like her, the closest resemblance.

"Sewon." I grabbed her wrist and her surprised expression registered in my mind. "Why are you here? W-Where have you been?" I was going crazy or have I always been crazy. For the longest time, I've been longing for her. "Are you okay? Answer me!"

"Hey! Don't talk to her like that." The guy she was with pushed me, making me back away.

I was annoyed. My fist clenched, the urge to hurt someone was coming back. "Who the fuck are you?"

"STOP!" We were about to start a fight but Sewon came between us. "He's my brother."

She sent the guy away and willingly came with me so we could talk. "You haven't changed a bit." She said and smiled weakly. It hurts seeing her again like this.

"Where did you go?" I was on the verge of crying as I held her hand tightly in mine.

"Jungkook, we can't." She looked in my eyes.

I was devastated and heartbroken at her words, "What did he do to you?"

"Father didn't do anything to me. I came up with my own decision." Sewon added, her face remained the same but her words were ruthless. "He sent me to a music academy just like what I wanted. I get to play the piano jist like how I always dreamed of. He gave me a home and food and clothes to wear. Father was generous to me, Jungkook."

"Then why?" I asked her, begging her to take her words back. "Why did you suddenly change?"

"Because I realized that we can't ever be together. Nothing good will come if we stay with each other." Sewon took her hand away from mine. "You have to let me go."