。Is this goodbye?。

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Kim Mingyu

Angst

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'He was crying out my name, except I wasn't there.'

. . .

I knew it was a bad idea. I knew how it was going to end up.

He told me just as he got to the door, "Listen, I'm going to be fine" and I could hear his voice quiver. It was obvious he was lying - he always did.

If I had just followed him there... I could have helped, but now he's in a critical condition, his life like sand just slipping through my fingers at a painfully slow rate.

I pray so hard that I can get there in time, speeding down multiple roads to get to the grey building that lingered with depression and gloom, my senses picking up on the melancholy cries as another life falls into the palm of death himself, hot tears streaming down my rosy red cheeks and dripping down onto my lap.

My knuckles turn a ghostly and sickening white as I grip onto the steering wheel like my life depended on it, my chest heaving up and down as the journey seemed to take longer.

It made my stomach churn knowing how much pain he was in, lying in that uncomfortable hospital bed in agony. I desperately wanted to call the hospital to make sure I wasn't too late to see him...

"Come on, come on..." I mutter in frustration, almost running through a red light. Luckily, I make it and turn down the road towards the large building, quickly parking up and sprinting through the doors of the dull place.

I rush up to the desk, my jaw set as I tried not to bump into anyone who was walking in the opposite direction to me. I made eye contact with the lady at the desk, panting hard and trying to catch my breath through the constant tears.

"K-Kim Mingyu, please?" I manage to squeak out, just so she could understand. The lady nods and scrolls her mouse through the computer quickly, seeing how emotional I was being.

"Floor 2, room 6." She says with rushed speech, smiling at me sadly. I nod and thank her, sprinting over to the stairs and going up to the floor above. My eyes scan the door numbers.

As soon as I see 'Room 6', I rush forwards towards it, barging in to see 12 other boys scattered around the room, all sobbing and spluttering into their hands. I couldn't help but cry harder.

My gaze wanders over to the boy laying still in his bed with multiple wires coming in and out of his body. The sight made my stomach drop like I had just swallowed a stone, stumbling over and examining the condition he was in. He was barely awake, the heart monitor's showing his pulse was slow... Slower than below average.

"M-Mingyu?" I stammer, gripping onto his hand gently with both of mine. I could feel all of the boys' eyes burn into me, myself pursing my lips as I awaited a reply. "Gyu... Come on, baby."

His eyes slowly fluttered open, half-lidded. I felt a smile rise to my face seeing him wake up, the boy giving the same weak smile back.

"You're here," He croaked out with a crackly voice, "All well..."

I nodded quickly, lifting a hand and slowly running my fingers through his knotted hair. "Of course, I did. I could never leave you alone in a situation like this, silly..."

I attempted to lighten the mood slightly, hearing Mingyu chuckle weakly before he breaks out into a row of heavy wheezes, his head falling back against the pillow.

"I can just feel it..." Mingyu whispered, staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression, dark bags under his eyes. I was struck with confusion, pursing my lips together tightly.

I raised an eyebrow. "What can you feel, Gyu?"

"My spirit," He spoke in a hushed tone, "Trying to... Escape my body. Trying to pull itself out of me..."

I knew where he was going with this, which made me let out a quiet but quick sob. "Y-You're going to be okay, Gyu. I promise, they're gonna help you-"

He interrupts me quickly, his gaze meeting with mine. "It's too late now, Y/N."

I freeze, my eyes widening as I feel my heart stop for a millisecond. "N-No... There's got to be something they can do! They can't just leave you like this!"

"I'm in immense pain, darling." He whispered to me, shakily lifting up a hand and placing it on my cheek, caressing it gently. "Wouldn't it be better if you let me go?"

I had to think hard. My head was pounding, feeling like a ticking time bomb which was about to explode at any moment now. I couldn't choose: Let Mingyu live in agony for however long he lives for or let him go to live peacefully and painlessly?

I let my head dip towards the ground, just feeling the frown rise to Mingyu's face.

"Y/N, I'm sorry." He murmured through his oxygen mask, his eyes welling up with tears as soon as I glanced back up at him. "You have to choose. It's now or never..."

I shook my head. I couldn't believe what was happening. It didn't seem real at all. It felt like I was living a nightmare.

"Gyu, please don't make me choose." I sob out, my grip getting tighter on his hand. "You know I can't..."

"You can." He objects, weakly squeezing my hand. "Choose which would be better for me. Don't worry, princess. The others have already chosen."

My eyes scan the other boys' expressions, seeing how terrible they looked.

"Okay..." I say finally, taking a deep breath in and releasing it. "I love you so much, Gyu. I will always love you..."

. . .

I felt Soonyoung's arms wrap around me as I felt Mingyu's hand fall limp in mine, the constant beep of the heart monitor ringing through my ears.

This was it. That was the end.

I felt numb, as if a piece of my heart had just been torn out. It hurt. It hurt so much.

To lose the person who had been there for you since you were born was the most painful thing in the world to me. I watch as the light fades from his eyes, my body shaking violently as Soonyoung attempted to comfort me.

"M-Mingyu..." I whimpered out, burying my face in Soon's chest. I had no idea what to do.

What do I do now?

///

i know this was very late, i know i haven't updated in a month and tbh i have no excuse rather than "procrastination"

it's vvvvvv hard bc i have no inspiration to make these imagines and that's why i'm asking for ideas. my mind has been blank for the last month and my imagination is just shitty atm

i was late to make a 'merry christmas' imagine which i was gonna publish on christmas day but that failed miserably and then i thought of doing a 'happy new year' one, but that was an idiotic idea as well

oml i'm so sorry and i'll try to be more active with this

also, requests are still open

i'll be going now, but i'm gonna try make another with what's scraped up

thank you

-zhen

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