AN: this is a triple update, so please make sure you've read chapters 48 and 49 first.

"Don't." Jax ordered me as I tried to rise to my feet.

I stilled my movements, hesitantly looking up at him instead. The hurt that I had seen in his eyes was still there, only now it was only amplified. I fought the rising panic, I knew it would do me no good.

"When you weren't at homecoming, I assumed it was because I didn't ask you. I didn't think it was because you were at home, trying to swallow a bottle of pills instead." Jax raised his hands to his head, running them through his already messy hair. "You would do that to me? Seren, answer me. You would really do that to me? You would leave me?"

My mind was running around in circles. It was lagging, like a video that wasn't getting enough internet power. It was a step behind what was happening. It was about to end, wasn't it? I had it all planned. Yet, as always, Jax ruined my plans. All of them.

I had two options.

Well, I had two options that I could think of. I could fight. I could fight the way I should have at the lake house. I could kick and scream and thrash and bite. But there was no hope. There was no one here to save me. Jax would win, like he had before. He could overpower me. He's already proven that.

"I'm sorry." I went with option two, my voice only a whisper. "I didn't mean to."

Jax cocked his head at me in surprise. He wasn't expecting those words, I guess. "You didn't mean to? What did you mean to do then, baby?"

"I don't know. I wasn't thinking." I gritted the words out, in spite of my disgust at his use of the pet name.

Jax sighed, and then he moved closer to me. I could smell the wafts of whiskey coming from his breath. I used every ounce of willpower in my body not to move away. He crouched down, directly in front of me, one of his arms resting on his knees and the other one outreached, moving towards me.

I closed my eyes as his hand grabbed my face. I expected it to be rough, I expected it to hurt. But it didn't, his fingers were gentle as they gripped around my chin.

"Do you know what that would have done to me, Seren? If anything was to happen to you. It would have destroyed me." He whispered to me. "Open your eyes."

I didn't want to. I couldn't. I couldn't see his face so close to mine.

Jax's fingers applied pressure to my skin. "Open your eyes."

I opened them. I could see him up close now. I could see the bruising that was covering the right side of his face, the purple that was encircling his eye. Courtesy of Zane's fist, no doubt. I had avoided looking at Jax for so long, only seeing his face clearly when it entered my mind against my will. It seemed my mind had made its own details up, because Jax looked way scarier than I remembered.

"Don't ever try that again." Jax said lowly. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." I said quickly. It was a lie, but it didn't matter. I would tell Jax anything he needed to hear right now. It was my only chance to get away from him.

"Good." Jax smiled at me. How can someone smile, yet still look so evil? "Now, baby girl. We need to talk."

"Okay. Okay. Let's talk." I rushed out. Another tear left my eye, free falling straight onto the bathroom floor below me.

"Baby, you don't need to cry. You know I can never stay mad at you. You know that right?" Jax's eyes softened as he stroked my cheek with his rough thumb.

"I know." I wonder if Jax could hear the shake in my voice.

"But... you did make me mad." Jax moved both of his hands to my hair, gently stroking it before moving it behind my shoulders. He was looking at me the way a little girl would look at her doll. "We need to talk about what happened with you and Zane."

"Nothing happened." I said quickly. "Nothing. I promise."

"Nothing?" Jax tutted. "That's not what I heard."

My brain scrambled for an excuse, before remembering the conversation that I had overheard between him and Zane.

"I was just trying to make you jealous." I hated the words as they came out. "That's all it was."

Jax breathed out a sigh. I think it was in relief. "Watching his hands all over you, it made me sick."

"I know. It made me sick too." I lied. It was the opposite. Jax's hands made me feel sick. Zane's made me feel... anything but.

"Now that we have that out of the way... I've planned a trip for us, baby. Just the two of us." Jax grabbed my hands, pulling me up to a standing position.

"Okay." I whispered, and my heart started to hammer in my chest. Have you ever been able to hear the sound of your heart beating in your ears? Loud and all consuming, the rhythmic pounding that overpowers all your other senses. It's all you can think about.

"I already packed a bag for you, but you might want to write a note for your dad. We'll be gone for a couple nights, and I don't want him to panic. Although, I don't think he would even notice. Do you? It's a good thing you have me baby." Jax told me in a calm voice, and he led me out of the bathroom.

"Here." He let go of my hands, turning around to reach for the pad of paper and the pen that was on my vanity.

I took the opportunity as soon as it was presented to me. As soon as Jax's back was turned, I moved my feet as fast as my body would allow. I ran around my bed, feeling my bare feet grip against the cool hardwood floor. I kept my eyes focused on my door, and I propelled myself forward. I was almost there.

I was... almost there.

Jax's fingers gripped themselves into the back of my hair, sharply pulling me backwards. All it took was one tug to fling me backwards. I couldn't control the weight of my body as I fell head first, hitting the sharp corner of my desk as I went down.

I barely thought about the stinging pain in my cheek as I tumbled onto the ground, the desk falling on top of me. I was laying in a mess of papers, pencils and pens as I clutched my cheek, feeling the blood spill out of the open wound.

"What the fuck, Seren?" Jax growled out. In one swift movement he removed the desk from where it had fallen on me, flinging it to the side as if it weighed nothing.

I blinked the stars out of my eyes as I felt Jax press the sleeve of his sweater onto the wound. "Why did you do that?"

When I didn't answer, he sighed again, pulling me up to my feet. He swiftly threw his arm around my neck, pulling me close to him. The dread twisted further into my gut as I realized I just squandered my chance.

"Sometimes I wonder why you have to be like this, baby. You make everything harder than it needs to be. Now, please. Let's go." Jax's voice was calm again as he led me out of the room.

The hope wasn't high in me, as Jax guided me through my dark and empty house, that my dad would open the door, saving me. My hope wasn't high that anyone else would either.

Jax was talking again. I couldn't concentrate on his words though, I could only hear the panic pushing through my veins. You would think my body would be used to the panic, by now. Yet, it sent a fire through my skin every time. My doubts were confirmed, as Jax led me out of the house uninterrupted, walking me like one would walk their dog to his car and opening the passenger door for me.

I hesitated. I knew it as well as he knew it. The moment I get in that car, it was over. It was done. I had no way out. He had all the control.

"Get in." Jax growled from behind me, pushing me in.

I heard the locks click only a second after Jax's door closed. He was silent as he pulled away from my house. I was silent too. The only sounds filling the car were my short breaths, trying desperately to fill my body with oxygen, trying desperately to keep the panic attack away.

About an hour into the car ride, I debated unlocking the door myself. We were on the highway. Jax was speeding. And I don't mean ten over the limit. Jax was speeding. I could do it, though. I could open the door before he realized. I could jump out. I wouldn't make it, but I could do it.

I realized that I was willing and ready to die just hours previous. Yet the thought of jumping out of a car to my death was vastly less appealing than floating into the next dimension with a nervous system full of pain killers.

Yet, my fingers danced on the unlock button.

It seems I took too long deciding, because Jax noticed what I was doing. He leaned over abruptly, grabbing both my hands and holding them tightly in one of his own. His actions caused the car to jolt to the side, and for a second I thought this was it. The speed Jax was going, we would die on impact.

He easily corrected the car, much to my dismay. He didn't say anything as he continued driving, his left hand on the steering wheel, and his right hand not letting my own hands move an inch of their own accord.

"We're almost there, baby." Jax hummed out. How could he be so calm? He let go of my hands, finally.

My stomach sank as we pulled into our destination. I knew it. I knew it so well I was surprised I hadn't realized we were heading here an hour ago.

"We're going to have the weekend we should have had. Before everything went wrong." Jax smiled at me as he put the car in park. He got out of the car, quickly running around to open my door for me.

He held out his hand, as if I would be willing take it. Jax rolled his eyes when I didn't. He grabbed my wrist roughly, pulling me out of the car.

"You know I go through all this trouble for you. And I get nothing in return. Relax, Seren. It's just us here. Just you and me." Jax said as he pulled me into Carter's lake house.

I stared around the familiar house in horrible shock as he closed the door behind us. All of the times in this house, I could almost see them replaying in my mind. I've had so many good times here, throughout the years.  I've had the worst night of my life here as well. I never thought I would step foot in this fucking house again.

"I'll get the bags later." Jax chimed out. He was smiling so big. How? How is it possible that he doesn't see my fear? Does he? Does he know that I'd rather die than spend another moment with him?  Can't he see that I was supposed to be dead because of him? Does he see that I would have been dead without him?

I don't know if Jax sees me. But, the thought that he does see me is almost scarier than the thought that he doesn't.

"What do you want to do?" Jax grabbed my hands again, tightening his grip when I tried to pull them away. "Hot tub?"

I didn't answer as I felt my will to survive this situation slip from my body. There was no way to survive this. I couldn't run. I couldn't fight him. I remembered with a wince just how easily had he thrown me to the ground in my room.

There was nothing left to do.

"No?" Jax frowned as he noticed my blank expression. "Movie?"

Jax looked at my face like he expected it to do something. Like it would give away my thoughts. I had nothing left to give, though.

"Okay, movie." Jax smiled at me again. "Come on."

He led me to the living room. I was like a mannequin the way he moved me, forcing my body down onto the couch, pushing my back against the leather. Jax sat down beside me, grabbing the remote from the coffee table in front of us. He pulled me backwards, so my back was against his chest. He slung his arm around my waist, reaching under my shirt so his hand was pressed against my bare stomach.

I wasn't going to survive this. Mentally, I was already dead.

Jax played a movie. Who cares what movie. All I could think about was the sickening way Jax was touching me. Hadn't he taken enough from me? Was the way he's touched me before not enough for him?

I only focused on my breaths. I counted them, in my mind. 965 breaths later, almost 966, Jax's hand moved.

It moved upwards, along my torso.

It was then, I decided, that I wasn't going to freeze again.

"Isn't this nice? This is how it was supposed to be, Seren. I knew if I just showed to you, how nice it would feel, us being together. It's the way it's supposed to be. I know it. You know it, right?" Jax whispered into my ear.

I threw my head back, as hard as I could. I felt the back of my skull connect to his nose. The nose that I had just heard crack with pressure from Zane's fist, cracked yet again. This time, it was from me.

"You fucking bitch." Jax let go of my waist, grabbing me around my throat from behind. I twisted my head viciously, trying to create space between his hands and my neck. I flung my body off the couch, slipping away from his grasp. I ran across the room, heading towards the back door. I grabbed the handle, desperately trying to open it.

But it wouldn't. It didn't even budge.

I turned around, pressing my back against the door, looking for another escape. There wasn't one. Jax was in front of me now, slowly creeping towards me. He knew it as much as I did.

There was no other escape. It was just me. Me and him.

I flinched as I heard the sound of the front door crash open, the knob no doubt creating a hole in the wall it had slammed into with force.

"Jax Harrington, hands behind your head."

I watched in a distant trance as police officers filled into the lake house, guns pointed and aimed at Jax, who looked about as shocked as I felt. His mouth was open as he slowly raised his hand, linking them behind his neck. I fell to the ground in overwhelming emotion as I watched an officer sling cuffs on his wrists, quickly leading him out of the house.

"Miss Garcia? Seren Garcia?" One of the police officers called out as she edged towards me, she looked at me warily, dragging her eyes up and down my body as if to confirm I wasn't injured. "It's okay. You're safe now."

She leaned over me, patting me on the back. I could barely think. I was shaking. Why was I shaking? It was like violent shivers the way my body was moving. I couldn't control it. My teeth were chattering. I could hear the way they were smashing against each other.

"Seren!" I heard Zane's voice before I saw him. I lifted my head, moving my eyes away from my shaking hands. Zane ran through the door, pushing the officers out of the way as he went. His eyes frantically moved around the room, searching for me. The moment his eyes met mine, he ran to me, faster than I've ever seen anyone run before.

He threw his arms around me, almost pushing me backwards onto the floor. "Oh my god, Seren. Are you okay?"

"Zane." My voice cracked as I said his name. "What's going on?"

"I went to your house." Zane started, his voice flowing into my ear, as he was still holding my body in a tight hug. "I saw the blood on the floor, the furniture. I knew something bad had happened. I called everyone, looking for you. Looking for Jax. When Carter told me he gave Jax the keys to this place, I put two and two together."

Zane released me from the hug, but he didn't let go of my shoulders. He held them steady, and he didn't speak for a moment, as he looked into my eyes.

"Seren, I told the police. I told them everything."