Thirty One

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It was like there was a channel between our vision that i couldn't escape, it made me anxious but also gave me the chance to look at his eyes more. I forced myself to break eye contact and told everyone i was going to the toilet.

I decided to go to the upstairs toilet instead of the downstairs one just so i could take longer and hopefully Harrison would forget. I went to the toilet did my business then went to the room with my bag in. I rummaged through the bag until i found my body spray. I pretty much drowned myself in it, hoping that the smell would go, if it was even was a smell in the first place.

I wanted to stay upstairs for a while just to think, or something i don't really know. I just didn't feel like dealing with everything right now. My mood was mellow probably because of the weed, but i liked it. I didn't feel like i was going to panic or cry or anything like that, i just felt chilled.

I sat on the floor with my back lent against the bed for support as i rested my head on the bed looking up to the celling. How did i fall into the deep end? I went from feeling sad all the time to everything with my dad to this. I didn't ask for this, i don't want it, i want it all gone. Both of my feet are full of scars, i didn't want to do it anywhere else, it would be easily seen. I didn't want anyone to see.

I feel like I'm over reacting and i feel guilty which kills me because i should feel this way. But then again i feel like I'm undereating because I'm not crying or whatever but i guess i just got used to it over the time I've been with Ollie. I keep hearing his voice in my head and the memories flash back all of a sudden and i freeze. What if it had actually happened? What if he actually raped me? I shouldn't think about it, it only hurts more. Then again i feel like i need that pain otherwise I'm not human, I'm just some lifeless body walking around.

My thoughts were interrupted by the door opening but i didn't look up to see who it was. I felt them sit next to me but still faced straight ahead in silence hoping they would speak first.

"How you doing?" I heard a deep voice, which told me it was Rocky.

"Shit." I replied still not moving.

"Does Libby know?"

"No, i don't want to tell her, well not me personally."

"You gonna tell your parents?"

"Technically i don't have parents, My mum passed away and my dads a criminal, just got 7 older brothers that's it."

"Oh I'm sorry."

"No its okay you didn't know?"

"Seven older brothers must be annoying and overprotective."

"As overprotective as they come, they'd kill me if they knew i was here."

"What was you alibi then?" He turned to me which made me turn towards him too.

"Friends house, how come you've managed to throw this party then?"

"My parents are out of town looking for a house."

"Why would you want to move when you have a house like this its incredible."

"Well i got kicked out of school because i got into to many fights."

"But its always everyone else who says something to push you over the edge."

"Exactly...I'm moving to your school because my mum wants to be closer to Harrison's mum."

"I'm guessing you'll be in the year above me."

"Yep."

"My brother Liam's in that year, he's alright i guess."

"Well that's good. Anyways..." He stood up and held out his hand. " We still have time to kill until Mason comes and picks you guys up, so come on I'm gonna kick your ass on just dance." I smiled grabbing his hand as he pulled me up.




Sorry it's a shorter chapter, I just wanted to update for you all :)

If you have any questions feel free to ask

Also I'm in need of a name for a new character so the first to comment their name will get their name featured <3

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