Chapter Two | Sealed with a Kiss

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Every Thursday, at 3:30 p.m. you'll find me sitting on a plastic blue chair outside the door of a tiny office stowed away right at the back of the school. It's honestly a time when I'd rather be at home, in bed, either watching rubbish soaps or scrolling through Twitter.

I'm not able to do either, not when I'm sat here. An hour of my life is wasted stuck in a dingy, musty room in which I'm meant to 'open up' and 'trust' in Mr Hibbert, Year 12's head of year slash makeshift counsellor. Let's just say, I wouldn't be surprised if whoever gave Mr Hibbert the job of helping problematic adolescents with their troubles needed counselling themselves.

Mr Hibbert really doesn't have a clue. Not about most of the things teenagers go through or what today's times involve. Just last week he asked if I had bought the Spice Girls' new album yet.

A sigh whistles out my mouth as I inspect my shoes, distractedly thinking of how worn they look.

Mr Hibbert finally bustles out of his room, greeting me with a small beam under his bushy moustache. "Come on in Ruby," he says, opening the door wide. I follow after him as slowly as I possibly can.

The familiar scent of his dusty office fills my nostrils as my eyes adjust to the dimly lit environment of the room. Nothing in this office, not even an out of place coffee mug or picture frame, has changed during the two years I've been coming here. Or rather, since I was forced to come here by my parents.

Some people believe dark times are difficult because you haven't found the light or hope. Well what happens you losing that light is the reason why things are so dark in the first place?

That's what happened when my grandmother passed away two years ago. I don't think any of us could have imagined what followed after. We all suddenly had our own battles to fight. My grandfather and alcoholism, my father and despair, me and my nightmares.

Eighteen months on and things are better, lighter. Not to mention, I'm still being forced to come to these meetings, as if Mum's scared something is going to go off-balance if I stop.

Mr Hibbert strolls over to his desk and sits down as I sit at one of two chairs on the other side of the desk.

I don't think he realises his light grey cardigan's half-tucked into his dark grey trousers. His clothes perfectly match his grey hair, which there isn't much of to be honest since he's balding.

"So, Ruby," Mr Hibbert says, pushing his thick-framed glasses up his nose, "how have you been?" These same six words are said at the beginning of every single meeting.

"Fine." I don't return his irritating smile that's verging on patronising. Mr Hibbert blinks at my short response. I realise I'm probably being a bit moody but honestly, I'm still a bit miffed about losing out to Edwin High's netball team. The match was a hard one and having to go to therapy after does nothing to lift my mood.

"Well, er, let's look at what we discussed last week shall we? Perhaps we can move on from there." Mr Hibbert pulls a cardboard-brown coloured file towards him, opening it before rifling towards the end of the notes. I groan internally, remembering what we talked about last week.

It had been about recent panic attacks-

"So we started off talking about the problems with getting angry you've been having recently, especially with-" Mr. Hibbert's voice abruptly stops reading from the page as he realises that that isn't what we discussed last meeting.

"What?" I ask, furring my brows. "That isn't-"

"No. No, this isn't what we talked about, is it?" Mr Hibbert asks, looking at me confusedly as if for confirmation. I nod. We've never discussed anger issues since I don't actually have any.

"Then..." A look of panic comes across Mr Hibbert's face as he reads the rest of the page. "Concerns about domestic... David..." he begins to mutter random words as he scans the contents of the file before him before shaking his head. "No, this isn't..." Mr Hibbert frantically flips the file to its front.

I stare at him incredulously. What on earth is going on?

Even sitting at the other end of the desk I can read the name printed on the top, right-hand corner: 'Levi Parker.' What?

"That's Levi's?" I ask, shock infiltrating my voice. Levi Parker has counselling sessions? The school's golden boy has issues?

Mr Hibbert's face turns bright pink. "Yes, er... it seems so."

I stare quietly at him back. Well, this counselling session has just gotten more interesting. "Levi Parker gets counselling?"

Mr Hibbert attempts to look stern. "Now, that's confidential. I, er..." he trails off, not really knowing what to say. Then it hits me.

"If my folder's not here then... where is it?" The expression of worry on my counsellor's face does not seem promising. "Well?" Worry shoves aside the curiosity I felt about Levi, all I want to know where my folder is. "Is it lost or something?"

"I..." Mr Hibbert appears more and more flustered, his small fingers fidget together. "I'll go check!"  He hastily gets up before practically running out the door.

I exhale through my nose. "Trust him to bloody lose my folder," I grumble to myself, slumping in my chair, not at all impressed by this blunder.

My eyes fall upon the folder before I realise he's left it behind. I quickly look toward the door, just to check Mr Hibbert is nowhere to be seen.  He isn't.

I look at the forward again. Don't be a dick, Ruby, a small voice at the back of my head says. A louder more insistent one muses, But it's Levi Parker. What could possibly be wrong in his perfect life? You'd honestly expect the worst problem he'd encounter is not having enough pairs of Abercrombie and Fitch underwear to satisfy Elle with.

Leaning forward, I pull the folder toward me, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of wrongdoing stirring uncomfortably in my chest. My eyes naturally find the words they recognise, the ones Mr Hibbert previously read out. 'Concerns about domestic abuse problems between Levi's mother and her new partner David. Levi- difficult relationship mother's new boyfriend. Potential anger issues. David claims this is because of Levi 'missing' his father. Questionable.'

I draw back in surprise at the words. A soft gasp leaves my mouth. I, I never knew-

"Are you reading that!?" Mr Hibbert's shrill voice comes from the doorway. I jump and shove away the folder despite being caught red-handed.

"Uh..." I really have nothing to defend myself with.

"I came back when I realised I left the folder here," Mr Hibbert says before hurrying over to the desk and snatching the folder away, he holds it up against his chest like he's clutching a baby.

"So do you have any idea where my folder is?" I ask, squirming in my chair. His grip on the folder loosens.

"I... yes, I have an inkling." He seats himself before looking at me apprehensively. "I think... it may be in Levi Parker's meeting."

My stomach lurches.

"What!?" I cry, my palms going clammy. And despite it making me a total hypocrite, the thought of Levi knowing the contents of that folder... oh god.

"I, I'll give Miss Howard a call, I'll get her to come here and-"

"Miss Howard?" I remember she's a psychology teacher who's also on the school's pastoral team.

"Ah, yes, well, she meets Levi on Thursdays at the same time as you, only in her office." Mr Hibbert attempts to explain.

I look at him blankly, unable to follow.

The door bursts open, and there Miss Howard stands, her mousy brown hair looking a little untidy. Standing close behind her, looking furious is Levi. His glowering eyes meet mine and I feel my stomach tighten. He's breathing hard and his hair is tussled as he drags a hand through it.

Miss Howard walks into the room quickly and I notice how flustered she looks. "I'm sorry for disturbing you both, only-"

"Have you got my folder?" Levi demands, he pushes past Miss Howard and strides right up to Mr Hibbert. We're too shocked by their sudden appearance to do anything but gape at them.

Levi spots the folder in Mr Hibbert's grasp before reaching forward to pull it free.

"Levi, will you calm down?" Miss Howard pleads but she's ignored. Levi looks at the folder Mr Hibbert's holding, seems to relax a little when finding his name on it before suddenly turning towards me. I'm taken aback by the cold anger in his eyes.

"Have you read any of this?"

Just like the first time I was asked, I have no response. All I can do is open my mouth but no words come out. How am I meant to tell that yes, I saw it? That I know some personal stuff I'm wishing I never found out?

The thought of what he might know about me suddenly weighs heavy on my mind. I feel a wave of nausea.

"Do- do you have my folder?" I manage, turning to face Miss Howard. To my relief, she's holding a folder that looks exactly like Levi's. I get up, edging past Levi before taking it. It has my name on it. I don't know if this makes the situation better or worse.

"I think it's best if the pair of you sit down," Miss Howard says, trying to regain some authority. I nod, obliging. I sit at the chair I was sat at before. Levi hesitates, most likely debating whether to yell some more or to just follow Miss Howard's orders. After a moment, he chooses to sit beside me.

I'm a little distracted by how I can feel the anger radiating off him. He sits with his muscles tense and jaw clenched as he looks at Mr Hibbert accusingly.

Miss Howard moves to where Mr Hibbert is, there she sits on the ledge of a window that occupies the wall behind the desk. She takes a small moment to collect her thoughts before regarding us apologetically.

"Obviously, there has been a serious mistake," she begins.

Levi huffs out a mockingly amused sigh. "Really?" he asks in mock-disbelief.

Miss Howard finally gives him a glare. "And one of you needs reminding that while this situation is unfortunate, we need to remain mature and calm, just like Ruby here."

While I like Miss Howard, I don't appreciate the comment. I hardly feel mature or calm, I want to throw my hands about and demand what's happened too but right now I'm frozen in place at the look Levi throws me when he hears my name.

I lose my breath when his eyes lock with mine. Within them I can see the same question mirrored in mine: what do you know?

I glance away, back at our advisors, hating how my cheeks are flushing red. Mr Hibbert appears to be trying to regain some control.

"It seems your folders have accidently been mixed up," he says, looking up at us uneasily, and I realise a number of factors have instigated this situation." He swallows before adjusting the position of his glasses.

Beside me, I feel Levi sigh irately. He's obviously getting more and more impatient. I sit up higher, folding my arms. So am I.

"Firstly, both of your second names are extremely similar: 'Parkes' and 'Parker' and all of that. And then, there's the matter of both of your sessions being at the same time, not to mention your folders looking completely identical. I guess all of these things just cooperated and, somehow, the wrong folder was at the wrong meeting."

"But that shouldn't happen!" I finally exclaim. "These things are meant to be kept private! We're meant to trust you!" And I realise that it's this that makes me so mad. Trust. Trust me, mum had said when I told her about my nightmares before going to the school for advice. You can trust me, Mr Hibbert said in the first meeting as she sat by my side.

I shake my head bitterly. I shouldn't have trusted either of them, otherwise I wouldn't be in this stupid mess.

Miss Howard nods frantically. "Yes, yes, we realise and that's why we couldn't be sorrier."

Levi gives a dark and mocking smile. He shoots me a glower. I gladly return it. "And you think saying sorry will be enough?" he asks her, still glaring fixedly at me.  "After today everyone's going to find out everything."

"They won't," Miss Howard says quickly. "That's what we're going to discuss now. Ruby, I didn't read anything out from your folder and I'm certain Levi doesn't know anything."

My eyes narrow. Bullshit. If I managed to read something, then so did Levi. I'm about to voice this but Miss Howard gets there first. "And I'm sure you don't know anything?"

"I did catch Ruby with the folder," Mr Hibbert says. My mouth drops open. The betraying git! Levi turns to look at me, the weight of his gaze burning into me.

"I didn't read anything," I lie, my face burning, "Nothing except his name."

"Right," Miss Howard nods, "that's good."

Levi looks more than unconvinced. "Oh come on, that's total bullshit! I should've even be at these stupid meetings and now this has happened-"

"I believe Ruby." Miss Howard says. I'm caught between surprise at what Levi's just said and Miss Howard's obvious lie. She's probably just wants to just go home like the rest of us. "We apologise for this situation dearly and promise nothing of the sort will happen again."

"We'll also talk to your parents about what happened." Mr Hibbert nods. "You're free to leave."

"Is that it?" Levi and I demand together. They both reply yes. I scoff, unable to believe this. Well that was handled brilliantly, wasn't it?

Reaching down to pick up my bag, I get up before storming out, saying nothing. I stalk down the corridor fast, thinking of a large number of colourful swear words I'd love to say to the lot of them.

Footsteps sound behind me and I turn, ready to tell Mr Hibbert to bloody well sod off, even it means earning myself a detention. I spin around to see Levi. He stares calmly and coldly back at me.

Rolling my eyes, I turn away from him and pray that he takes a different turning to some other corridor soon. The thought of him knowing whatever the hell it is in the file still makes me feel queasy and I don't even want to imagine the hell that'll ensue if he finds out what I know about his mum and god knows what else.

Levi reaches forward to catch my arm. Eyes widening, I stumble to a stop before shoving his hand off me. "What the hell are you doing?" I hiss angrily, wheeling around to find he's in startlingly close proximity.

My heart thuds a little harder as I glare at him expectantly, trying not to think about what he knows and just how much. I shut my eyes for a moment. These counselling sessions were such a fucking mistake.

"We need to go somewhere quiet," he says. I open my eyes to see him walking away to a door a few meters away. "Come on."

"I'm not going anywhere with you." I glare at him. I want to go home. To bed. To a film with Leonardo Di Caprio in. Levi gives me a flat look.

"If you want what happened today actually sorted out then we need to be somewhere private," he says coolly.

I raise my eyebrows. "Somewhere private?" We certainly do not need to go anywhere private.

Levi sighs, his eyes look toward the ceiling a moment before he looks at me like he'd prefer a rock for company right now. "Just come," is all he offers before turning on his heel and striding towards the door.

I bite my lip, debating whether or not to leave him before reluctantly trailing behind him. We both reach a white door which I realise leads to the courtyard. 'Courtyard' sounds like way too fancy a word for what really is a small area of outdoor space in the school that's occupied by an algae-contaminated pond and a damp bench. It was meant to be a place for students to go and calm down in if they need to but this place barely sees any visitors.

Outside, it's freezing. I tug my jumper sleeves over my fingers as my teeth begin to chatter. The cold November air whistles past my ears in a biting breeze and it's already getting dark. The courtyard's lit a dark grey-blue rather than the usual warm colours of a sunset.

"So what are we doing here?" I ask, folding my arms as I inspect Levi.

Looking serious, he straightens and walks toward me. The nervousness fluttering around in my stomach turns into agitation. In an attempt to conceal it I regard him with a scowl.

"Are you ever going to answer me?" I ask, my voice becoming a little a louder. I can feel the tips of my ears and fingers turning pink from the cold and I'm already regretting following him here in the first place.

"What did you find out?" Levi asks, ignoring my question just as he's done with the rest of them. "I know you found out something."

"What did you find out?" I retaliate. Irritation flickers across his eyes before it's quickly replaced by unkind amusement.

A smirk tugs up his lips. "When it comes to what the school will care about, I don't think they'll be bothered about what I have to say about you." Arsehole.  My temper flares and my fists clench.

                        "You bloody arrogant twat," I whisper fiercely, shaking my head in disbelief. "I don't give a shit about what the school think, now tell me what you fu-"

"Anxiety. Problems with death, grief, family and sleep... That's it." The words roll effortlessly of Levi's tongue and I'm feeling a lot colder and it's not because of the autumn chill. My most personal problems, the things it took months for my own counsellor and Imogen and Oliver to ease out of me have just been carelessly listed by the guy I'd want them knowing least.

Levi sees the look on my face and his cold eyes soften. "That was honestly it," he repeats. "Just those words. In the beginning of the file."

My fists clench tighter. I don't care. "Don't you even dare-"

"Tell anyone?" he interjects. Levi shakes his head. "Trust me; I'm not bothered by that. What I do care about is what you know about me." He walks closer towards me, closing the distance between us to alarmingly little.

I want to list his problems as easily as he did mine but I can't. Unlike him I actually have a heart.

I'm unable to look him in the eye as I mutter, "Just something about, er, problems between your mum and someone called-." I'm cut off by the look of worry that impacts Levi's face. He inhales sharply.

"Someone called?"

"David."

"And?"

"And just a mention about your dad. That there's... something going on between everyone. That's all I know," I stammer.

Levi's expression turns stony and cold before he turns away sharply as if he's just been burned.

"And what's that something?" he asks quietly.

My silence answers his question. That's when my heart sinks, tightening in my chest as I properly realise just what I know. For a moment, I forget any feelings of dislike towards Levi and just feel concern.

The words I had read play again in my mind. Domestic abuse. Ugly, heart-breaking words.

"I'm not going to tell anyone," I attempt to console him. He turns to look at me and his icy expression makes me take a step back.

"Then tell me, why did you read my folder?" Levi asks, smiling humourlessly. "It must've been the highlight of your week, finding something out about me-"

"You're sounding more than a little up yourself," I reply testily. "Look, I'm sorry I read your bloody folder, but funnily enough, my world doesn't revolve around you."

"Do you have any fucking clue what this'll do to me if it gets out?" he protests, shaking his head. "What people will think?"

"There's no need to get so angry-"

"I

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