Chapter 60

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I stare at my bed then back at the blue ocean eyes that haven't quit following my movement since we came upstairs.

All my nerves are uptight, my heart thumps rapidly and loudly making it the only static noise I detect in this suffocating silence. I feel so anxious knowing he's watching me. On the other hand, he has leaned in my dresser next to the bed with a cocked head in one side and his hands hidden inside the pockets of his sweatpants. He appears to be so relaxed; like the fact we're standing in my bedroom, with the door locked, few feet apart, after everything that had happened doesn't hold any sway over him at all. Maybe my presence doesn't affect him anymore.

My heart drops in my stomach clumsily at this unwelcome thought and I decide to chat to end this mess of thoughts and doubts that take place inside my mind.

"You'll sleep there," I propose pointing at the left side of the bed. "And I'll sleep here," I indicate the right side. "We just need to..." I stop looking around the room until I locate them. I take some pillows in my hands and place them in the center of the bed creating a barrier. "Your side," I explain putting on the last. "You won't cross limits though, okay?"

I glance up and find him eyeing at me with a smirk. A shadow of a smile has graced his lips as his eyes are glittering with some sort of playfulness in them; it wasn't there before.

"What?" I whimper with feared eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" He asks catching me off guard.

"I...I just think we should be cautious,"

"Cautions?" He repeats with a tone of disbelief painting his voice.

"Yeah, you know." I realize how stupid it actually sounds and I give up. We have slept in the same bed so many times, I was growning comfortable around him yet I feel this timidity mixed with confusion and embarrassment.

"Why are you making this awkward? It's not like we haven't slept together,"

"We had but when we did, we were together and now, we aren't. Don't you think we should keep some distance?"

"Is this why you are so nervous?" He questions and my eyes fly to his.

"No, yes...maybe," I finally add.

"Fine, if you're comfortable with it," He plops down at his side.

I haven't realized before that I was staring at him until his eyes pierced into mine flaming me. I break the eye contact immediately and lay next to him after I switch off the lamp on my nightstand.

I force my eyes to close. I try to sleep avoiding the thought that he is right next to me after so many weeks. We haven't slept together for a while. At the party, we slept for a couple of hours; it felt so refreshing. I hadn't slept so peacefully since the night we last shared the same bed before I learned the evil truth; before my heart broke by a demon.

His presence pervades my room with his scent that invades my nostrils. His warmth has blanked my whole body yet instead of actually relaxing me like the other times, I feel the strain binding tiny balls in my muscles. I turn on the other side to have my back on him and unlock my lids.

I focus on his slow breathing that enters and leaves his full lips. I know he sleeps on his back facing up the ceiling. His eyes must be sealed and his lips imperceptibly separated. His hair must be rumpled; glistering under the light that has slipped into my room. He must look like an angel.

I seize the coverings with my fists and draw them near my chest; feeling the emptiness swallow me. His breathing is more passive and I know he has fallen asleep. My plan helped one of us at least; I wanted to sleep and I wanted him to sleep as well. Witnessing his weary eyes, his full of lassitude figure made me feel responsible cause I know I was plausibly the reason he couldn't sleep, as he was mine.

He has fallen asleep. The prior idea has shifted into one another fright of mine. I don't affect him anymore; he doesn't want me anymore. He said we were done and deep down I was scared of admitting it. It was the reason I wasn't analyzing our current situation. However, he shouted it with such an easiness like he was putting an end to something that didn't mean anything.

Tears trickle from my eyes and I tie my lips tightly to avoid any sobs emerging. He hasn't seen me cry since the night we fought; he had cried too. I cloak my head with the cold cottony sheet wanting to disappear and become so small; small that pain won't care for me.

I feel a hand slide around my waist and pull me towards him. He must have thrown the pillows cause my backbone falls to his chest. I hide my head in the pillow attempting to cover up my crying. He leans in on me; hiding his head in my hair and inhaling me in. The skin of my neck tingles as it contacts with his own.

A sob glides from my lips along with a shudder that quivers my body. His grip on me tightens before both of his arms encircle my body and turn me around. Scalding tears reach my cheeks as his forehead touches mine. His breath fans my lips while his hand cups my cheek and his fingers play with my hair; circling around it.

I have missed him.

I need him so much and desperately. He has the strength I crave to survive, the peace I yearn for since he took it away from me. I desire all of him.

I open my eyelashes and pulling closer, I place my hands in his chest, gripping his shirt. His warmth travels through me and provides my whole being life. He brings me even loser when I shudder again and I capture my lower lip between my teeth. A soft touch on my lips causes me to unlock my eyes and meet his blue ones. The distance between doesn't exist. His lips are inches from mine. His thumb touches my bottom lip and I unfree it. He runs his finger across my lips and I feel the desire and fire he had the power to create in me flaming me before expanding all over me.

His eyes are following the action of his finger as I gawk. His pupils are dilated and his breath is shallower than before. My eyes fall to his lips and before I think about it for another second; I do it. I press my lips against his.

His hands retain me steady as his lips are moving against mine. I don't even remember the last time I felt him on me in a kiss. Tears stream while I search the black and blank hallways of my dark mind to find the answer. I hear something break when I recall; the way he pushed me in the wall and kissed me with such a force, fear, and desperation the night I found out that I was nothing but a lie to my demon.

I pull away and place my finger in his mouth when he leans in for more. His skin is burning under my flesh as I hear him panting; trying to breathe. A few seconds pass silently with the only sound of his gasps until he takes my hand in his gently and sets it on his chest. I free my lashes when he raises my chin. Our eyes contact for a second before his lips find and crush in mine.

His kiss is more passionate, demanding, and needy than the last. He softly presses my lips to open and when I do; his tongue slides through my mouth and caresses gracefully mine while I try to follow. We continue kissing for a while and his kisses turn into my favorites. I feel his soft lips caress mine gently, unhurriedly, and tenderly; as if he claims me bit by bit.

"I love you," He whispers before his lips brush against my own. My heart bleeds at those little three words. He says he loves me; he's hurting and I can see it just like he can understand that I'm hurting. I feel his sadness and decipher his misery through his blue eyes. But the pain he caused is so big and sharp. I'm scared of giving him my heart all over again; cause now, I know the ache and the edgy knives that can cut me into thousands of pieces.

"Don't cry," He mutters upon my lips. "It shreds me when you cry,"

I sink my fingers into his blonde hair as he catches me to him; his arms band around me.

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