I can't sleep

I looked through the album and found many photos of my parents. The tears were thousands and before I could see all of them, I gave up. I turned off all the lights and plug my head-frees in my ears hoping that the music will ease my pain.

The sheets have his smell on them and then, I realize that this night it's not just the memories of my parents, it's Corbyn too. The last two nights he stayed with me and I kind of miss the feeling of protection. The way his arms were wrapped around me tightly and that I could feel his slow breathing.

I shut my lashes and after inhaling deeply, I head downstairs. I pour myself a glass of water and begin to walk to my room when I notice something. Someone.

He's sleeping on the couch and I stop to look at him. His lips are slightly parted and he looks peaceful, not like when he was shouting at me. The thought brings tears to my eyes and I wish things were different.

I wish I didn't like this blonde boy, I wish I never met him but the biggest part of my wishes that he had the same feelings for me as I have for him.

I shake my head and begin walking again. At the top of the stairs, before I can stop myself, I turn around and look at my sleeping angel. As mush pathetic as it may sound, he's my angel because when I needed him,

He saved me...

My whole body hurts and my eyes feel so heavy that I think they'll never open again. I feel a wreck since I didn't get much sleep yesterday.

The school day was boring and thankfully, I didn't see Corbyn anywhere, not that it stopped me from thinking about him. It's like almost each of my thoughts are consumed by him and every time it hurts me to know that he doesn't feel the same way. And never will.

The days were spent silently. I wasn't seeing Corbyn much at school and when I did, I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. In math, our only common class, I was trying to keep my eyes and focus on the board and Mr. Lance even though my mind was on a blonde boy sitting almost next to me in the back. One day I couldn't help it...

I was sad and I promised that only one look wouldn't hurt so, I slowly turned and allowed myself to stare at him for three seconds. I was counting because I knew that if I looked too long, it wouldn't end well.

And here I'm, on the last school-day of the week, trying to lose another exercise from the review test that Mr. Lance gave us to prepare us for the test that is coming up. My eyebrows furrow when something seems wrong. I replay Corbyn's words in my head from when he was helping me in the kitchen.

I think there's a mistake so, I raise my hand. When Mr. Lance sees me, I speak.

"I'm sorry but I think there's a mistak-" I start stating but a voice is heard the same time as mine. It doesn't take me more than a slit of a second to realize that this voice belongs to Corbyn. I immediately turn to him and finally for that feels like ages, our eyes meet.

Clear blue eyes stare at green...

It's like the time stops and we stare at each other. It feels so foreign to see those mesmerizing eyes of his but unfortunately, it doesn't last long.

"You said something..." Mr. Lance brings me back to my reality and we both turn to him at the same time.

"Yes, I think there's-"

"Fucking second li-" we both say again and look at one another.

"Ladies first," Mr. Lance tells looking firstly at Corbyn and give me a sympathetic smile which I return.

"I think there's a mistake in the second line of the exercise," I murmur and he turns to the board.

"If we multiply the result of the first line with the product of the equation, it doesn't equal with 38x. I think that something is wrong,"

"She doesn't think, she's fucking sure," Corbyn snaps decidedly and Mr. Lance turns to him.

"The second line, after the equation isolation," he adds and when nobody seems to understand, he explains himself further.

"It fucking doesn't add up," he mutters looking annoyed that he had to explain the obvious.

I force my eyes to stick to my notebook notes but I can't help the need to look at him again. But something unexpected happens when I turn to him. He's already looking at me and when our eyes contact, I feel like his piercing his blue eyes into me.

I don't look away not only because I don't want to but I don't think I can.

"You're getting good at it!" Alec says smiling at me and I laugh.

"I'm trying,"

"I could have never found it," he tells me about the math exercise that seemed to give a hard time to most of the class.

"What happened to your biology test?" I ask.

"Oh, it was-" Alec is cut off by a few boys who run and stumble on us.

"What is going on?" I question and gaze at them running towards a big group. I can't see what is going on from where we're standing though.

"Oh no," I hear a girl's voice. I turn to her and she's looking at the same direction.

"Do you know what it's going on?" I ask her.
"Boys fight. Nothing extraordinary,"

"I bet your blond friend is in the center of it," Alec assumes and I frown.

"Blonde friend?" I question and he looks at me with a 'you know' stare. The realization hits me quickly and anxiety kicks in. What if he gets hurt? Or expelled? Images of the night that I saw his bruises come to my mind and I run towards the big ground.

I move between bodies trying to go through. I tiptoe and I gasp when I see him. He's throwing pounces at a boy who lays on the ground. The unknown boy's face is full of blood and I remember Edwards's face looking the same way; bloody, pale and lifeless. He only stops hurting him when a boy drags him back throwing him in the ground. And now, he's the one laying the ground. The boy who pushed him off begins to hit him hard and I shut my lashes. I can't witness this, no matter how much he hurt me, I can't see him getting hurt. When I open my eyes again I see that they have rolled over and he's hitting the boy. His eyes are full of rage like they were when we last spoke; I shudder at the thought.

I glance around and see that there are five boys involved. Corbyn, three unknown boys and Cyle. They're hitting each other until the Principle comes in the way.

"Stop it now, all of you!" but no one listens and they continue.

Some teachers come too and stop the fight getting the boys apart from each other.

"In my office NOW!" The principal yells from the top of his lugs. He's angry but it doesn't affect any of the boys involved in the fight. Corbyn exchanges killing glares with the unknown boy until a teachers grab the boy's arm.

Corbyn looks at Cyle who smiles wickedly at the boy that he fought against. And then he gazes around as if he's looking for something. He stops abruptly when his eyes find me. He already has some bruises on his face and hands, and his eyes hold the same anger in them, causing my heart to start pounding and my breath quickens. He runs his hand through his blonde hair and walks away.

Late the night, I feel trapped in my small room. I want some space, I want to breathe and try to process everything that has happened to me lately. I walk the stairs and grabbing my jacket, I touch the knob of the front door of the house.

"People should learn from their mistakes," I hear a voice and squeak. I turn around and see him resting his weight in the wall with his head cocked to the right side. I can see some bruises despite the low lightning and my heart breaks a little. I hate to see him hurt.

"Don't you think?" he asks in his cocky way as if he's challenging me for something that I have no idea about.

"What do you mean?" I question softly  breaking eye contact. The way his eyes sparkle and stare at mine frightens me. They are full of hatred and hate and I can't bear the feeling that he hates me so much when I have such feelings for him.

He doesn't reply and I look up to him.

"I think we both know what happened the last time you decided to walk in the middle of the night," he explains narrowing his eyes. I gulp painfully as the images of Edward flood my mind. I shudder and suddenly the room is too cold for me.

"I wasn't..." I try to speak but the words come out as a soft whisper that I don't hear myself. I clear my throat and try again. "I-I wasn't going to walk," I exclaim and lean up to meet his piercing gaze.

He narrows his eyes in a clear way of showing me he hasn't believed any of my words.

"I'm just going to sit outside for a little," I announce and the second the words are out of my lips I wonder why did I tell him that. We're nothing and never will be. The last thing he wants is listening to me murmuring. Feeling my cheeks getting heated, I turn around and leave. I shut the door and once it's closed, I lean back to it and exhale deeply. I close my eyes feeling more tired than before. I sit on the edge of the pool and dig my legs in the water so I feel the cold water against them.

I hear the door open and when I turn to see who it's, I gasp.

Corbyn walks to me and lays next to me looking up to the dark sky full of stars. I unconsciously think about the day we went to the beach and we're kissing in the back of the car until the sky turned into a total black blanket with small lights lighten it up. I fight back the tears and stare at the motion of water as I move my legs.

"Have you ever thought that people judge too quickly?" he asks and I frown. I look down at him and his blue eyes are already on mine. I look at the water again and speak.

"Yes, we tend to jump to conclusions and judge people from some of their actions. We pretend we know them but we really don't. Humans are too complicated to be easily understood."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Judge too quickly?" he clarifies piercing his ocean eyes into mine.

"Some-" I begin to answer but then I stop. He's asking me this so he can humiliate me. I jumped to conclusions and judged him quickly thinking that he would want to be with me.

"Yes, I do." I finally exclaim after a few seconds of quietness trying to control the anger that builds up inside of me.

"That's not-" he tries to speak but I interrupt him.

"Stop it!" I cry looking directly at him. He sits up so our eyes are in the same height and he narrows his eyes.

"Stop what?"

"What you're doing right now." I snap.

"Care to speak without any fucking secret messages or meanings behind words? If you want to say something," he breaths leaning closer to me and my eyes unconsciously dart to his lips. "Say it."

My eyes look at his and I decide that I'll stop whining.

"I get it. You think I judge you too quickly by thinking you could have ever had actual feelings for me. I'm stupid. I know it and I don't need you to remind me. I thought I knew you even a little...but you were quick to prove that I was absolutely wrong. I don't know you at all, I just judge recklessly. I get it." I pull my legs out of the water in order to leave away from him but his hand grab mine, forcing me to stay seated.

"Don't touch me," I mumble not looking at him. His grip tightens and I get angrier.

"Let go of me!" I try unsuccessfully not to raise my voice and show that he affects me in any possible way.

"I didn't mean it like that," he states and my eyes meet his. "But I agree with you, you judged me too quickly for your own good." What is that supposed to mean? I don't let myself dig deeper into it though.

"Great! Now let me leave,"

"I don't think so,"

"What do you want Corbyn?" I ask staring at these ocean eyes. Instead of giving me an answer, he peers his eyes into mine for a while. It's like he searches in them for something and I'm letting him since my eyes haven't failed at staring back.

His grip around me loosens up slowly and he lays back again. I shake my head out of frustration and get up.

He's so maddening...