❛ i want you to want me. ❜
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SHE WALKED INTO the cafe after coming from her Psychology class. Words couldn't even begin to describe how exhausted she was feeling, her legs ached horribly and her head was pounding - she knew that caffeine was the last thing she should be consuming in her body right now, but she needed something to fix the drowsiness she was feeling.

The cafe was quiet today, which was rather peculiar on a weekday. She entered the small building, greeting the cashier with a smile as she approached the counter. Ronnie drifted her eyes around the room - searching for a familiar face. She hoped he'd be here but just like the same as last week, the table that was usually reserved for him was vacant. Ronnie was curious and worried about him.

Why was he always suddenly disappearing for long remainders of time? He would just be gone - without warning, not that he necessarily had to inform her about his whereabouts but still. "Thank you - hey Bobby." She calls upon eyeing the pudgy man walking in the back of the store. He halted, turning around and meeting the eyes of the brown eyed woman.

"Yes, ma'am?"

Ronnie bit down on her bottom lip, "Is everything okay with River? I mean I haven't seen him in awhile and it's always like he's disappearing." She tries not to assume the worse once she sees his face falter. Bobby shifts his weight between his feet, eyes casted downward as if he's contemplating on telling her the truth. Now she was truly worried.

"He's just going through some personal stuff at the moment. He's fine, I promise." Though he attempted to assure her - Ronnie still didn't believe the words he was spewing to her. She needed to see him for herself in order for the concern she had to diminish.

"You wouldn't happen to know where he lives do you?" Ronnie knew the suggestion was absurd, so did Bobby by the way his pupils widened at the question. He hesitated for a moment, contemplating yet again, but ultimately jotting down the young man's address. Ronnie thanked him before disappearing out into the dark streets.

She pulled into the rugged apartment buildings twenty minutes later, following the directions that Bobby had given her. Ronnie eyes followed the numbers that were painted on the side of the building, she parked her car and exited the vehicle once she spotted his—apartment 7B. Ronnie climbs the wooden stairs that led to his door, anxiousness seething her body as she stood in front of the door. She releases a shaky breath as her hand lightly taps on the door.

She waits—pulling her jacket tightly over her shivering body as she waited for him to answer the door. She stood outside patiently waiting for three minutes. She sighed deeply, turning around on her heels and preparing to walk back to her car until she heard the knob jiggling. Standing at the door once it open, was River—dressed in nothing but a pair of boxers. She assumed that he'd just woken up because he was still sheepishly rubbing his eyes and yawning softly.

Ronnie kept her eyes glued to his face, trying to ignore the taunting good looks of his bare chest. She clears her throat.

River's eyes finally snap open and instantly connects with hers. His pupils widen and his face flushes a deep shade of red once he looks down at his partially naked attire. "Ronnie! I - um, what - what are you doing here?" He squeaks, his voice still thick with sleep.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay. I haven't seen you all week." She announced, watching him nervously shift his eyes. He gulps thickly, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck, biting down on his bottom lip. He glances over his shoulder before pulling the door open and stepping aside, "You wanna come in?" He offers.

Ronnie smiles in response as she steps inside the toasty abode. Her eyes avert around the room taking in the surroundings and admiring the aura. "I'm just gonna put some clothes on. I'll be right back, make yourself comfortable." He murmurs lowly before quickly shying away somewhere down the hall.

Ronnie slides off her trench coat and sprawls it across the arm of the sofa. She proffers her hands together as she begins to walk around the room. Her eyes lingered along the walls, gazing up at the pictures of River when he was younger with people she was assuming were his family. She smiles - moving further along and stopping in front of a small bookcase.

Just like he'd said, River had a plethora of books - different genres and conditions. She picks one up and read the title, slightly jumping once she heard a voice coming from behind her. "That's one of my favorites." He entered the room again, fully dressed with a head full of perfectly tamed hair. He shoves his hands inside of his hollow pockets and strolls next to her - peering at the book in her hands.

"A Lesson Before Dying." She reads aloud, looking over at him and asking, "What's it about?"

"About a black man who was falsely accused of the murder and robbery of a white man and gets sentenced to death by execution. Brutal, I know." He sighs, shrugging his slumped shoulders. "But the author really captures you in with his profound use of diction and vivid imagery. I've read it five times and I still get amazed by it."

Ronnie couldn't help but to be amazed by his passion for reading. She never witnessed anyone speak so in depth about something that they actually enjoyed. "Maybe I can borrow it sometime? See what the hype is all about?" She offers playfully, pulling the edges of her mauve coated lips into a smile, gazing into his oceanic filled irises.

"Yeah. Sure, if you want."

♡

Ronnie respectively places the book back into its resting place. She clears her throat as she tucks her arms around her back all while circling around him. "So, you wanna tell me why you suddenly vanished from thin air yet again?" She didn't mean to come off as abrasive but she could tell that something was bothering him. He wasn't acting like the normal - giddy, shy, unable to look her in the eyes, River.

Instead his face marred an undetectable facial expression, usually she was good at reading people but his emotions seemed hard to decipher. She hoped it wasn't due to her coming to his apartment unannounced.

River stood there momentarily - quiet, mulled away within his own thoughts. He sighs, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly after his fingers tread through his blonde locks. "I was busy." He retorts simply, voice sounding full of irritation, eyes still not yet connecting with hers.

Ronnie was persistent - she would hound a person continuously until they provided her with the answer or request she needed but as she stood there, in the middle of the room, looking over at River she could see that he was genuinely bothered by her presence almost as if he didn't want her there. He seemed irritated and annoyed by someone or something. By her.

"Is everything okay?" She ponders.

He doesn't reply verbally - instead he gives her a simple nod of the head before averting his eyes elsewhere trying desperately to avoid eye contact yet again. She sighs in defeat, confused and a little hurt because she thought that they were starting to become friends but it seemed, for some peculiar reason that he was annoyed by her. Ronnie didn't want to burden him with her presence any longer so she concluded that it would be best if she just left.

"I'm sorry for just popping up at your house like this. I know you probably have better things to do so I'll just leave." She declares, moving away from her standing position so that she could retain her coat. She slips her arms through, beginning to head for the door until he called out to her.

"Ronnie, wait." The blonde sighs, placing a hand on her elbow and gently tugging her back. She watches as his face drops into a moue frown, he licks his lips and sheepishly rubs at the back of his neck before speaking. "I - I'm sorry if I'm acting like a jerk. It's just that - you're this beautiful woman that drives a convertible and lives in the upper part of the city."

"Okay, and?" Ronnie drags feeling suddenly confused by his statement and the direction that this was heading in.

River's face twists into a confused frown and finally, he looks her in the eyes. "And yet you waste your time talking to someone like me. A factory worker that drives a beat up pickup truck and lives in an cluttered apartment and collects books for fun. I don't get it.

And the reason that part of me doesn't get it is because I've dealt with situations like this before in school - the pretty girl pretends to like me just to make an ex jealous or - or  for their own personal cruel reasons, ya know? I would love to believe that a nice person like you would never do something like that to anyone but we've only known each other for two weeks. I don't know what kind of person you actually are - and it's terrifying me because I want to, to trust you and to get to know you but with the way you pulled away when your friends came and Corey—"

"Wait." She interjects, shaking her head profoundly and stepping closer to him, closing the distance between them. He pauses mid - sentence and peers up at her. "You think that I'm just using you as payback to make Corey jealous?" She accosted, dismayed by his sudden confession. Albeit they've known each other a limited amount of time, she assumed by their conversations that he would form a better judgment of her. Being vile like that was no way in part of who was or who she plans to be.

She talked to River because she enjoyed it; he was nice and offered her solace when needed. He was peculiar - in a good way that intrigued her.

"I told you, Corey and I never dated. I'm not interested in him whatsoever. I'm sorry that people have toyed with your emotions so bad that you can't even fathom the thought of someone actually wanting to be your friend. But I'm not some shallow rich girl that goes around using people."

River's head hangs at the sharp tone in her voice. He knew he probably offended her by the accusation and he was deeply starting to regret saying anything. "Maybe I should go."

River head springs up, eyes wide and a look of remorse marring his pale face. "Please. Don't. I'm terribly sorry, Ronnie. I don't have many friends - so I tend to say things that are inert and I know that's not an excuse but, what I'm trying to say is I want to be your friend and I really hope you still wanna be mine."

He grew nervous for a moment. She was really standing there debating on it as if she couldn't decide. Outside of Teddy, River obtained no friends not even at work. He wasn't as social as others, making it difficult for him to make new friends. But with Ronnie - albeit still nervous, he somehow managed to have a normal somewhat coherent conversation with her. The last thing he wanted was to ruin a developing friendship with someone that was easy for him to converse with.