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(Let's just jump right into it.)

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*Dust before joining the gang*: I don't have any friends and I don't want any.

Killer: Bold words for some one within my hugging range.

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Passive: I've never had a real friend before.

Cross: I can be your friend!

Passive: .......

Passive: I've also never had a boyfriend before-!

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Blue: Why don't murderers hide bodies in cementaries?

Dust: Oh thanks for suggestion.

Blue: Wait no-!

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Dream: What did you do?

Killer: I killed someone.

Dream: WHAT?! That's illegal you can't do that!

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Error: Why do you have to be so tall?

Nightmare: It has it's advantages.

Error: Like what?

*Nightmare leans down and kisses Error's forehead*: Like this.

*Error blushing*: Oh s-shut up!

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Killer: I'm starting to question my sanity.

Dust: Really? You're only just starting? I've been questioning your sanity since the second I met you!

Killer: Fuck off!

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*Passive walking in with box*: Hey babe, what would you say if I came home 4 cats?

Error: What's in the box?

Passive: ..........

Error: What's in the box Nighty?

Passive: ...I think you already know.

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Sci: Perfect is overrated. everything was perfect, then champagne wouldn't have bubbles. Bubbles as made up of carbon dioxide rising from nucleation points. And these nucleation points are these small defects in the glass that trap these tiny, vibrating pockets of the carbon dioxide. So, no defect, no bubbles, no magic.

Red: You know, you could have stopped at "overrated". Or bubbles. You had me at bubbles.

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Killer: Cross you're good  at finding stuff right?

Cross: Yes, why?

Killer: Can you help me find my will to live?

Error: Relatable.

*Cross is slightly concerned.*

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Horror: I want pizza.

Killer: I want to cuddle... with you.

Horror: Who cares what you want to do?! I WANT PIZZA!

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Dream: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Blue: It's usually an oncoming train.

Dream: Could you just try not to kill my vibe for five flipping seconds?!

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*Once Killer's and Cross' fight*

Killer: I'm sorry.

*Cross is sitting silently in blanket fort.*

Killer: Forgive me?

Cross: Just get in the fucking blanket fort.

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*After a fight with Ink.*

Blue: Did he hurt you?

Error: Yes but don't worry, I'm working on my revenge.

Blue: No you're not!

Error: Look, I know about peace and everything but-

Blue: No idiot, I'll do it! It'd be too obvious if you did it, they won't see me coming.

Error: Are you ok?

Blue: Never hurt a Blue's friend if you want a to live to the end of the week.

Error: Okay. Who else is your friend? I need to know who to attack.

Blue: Error no-!

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Horror: You remind me of mac and cheese.

Lust: How

Horror: I love mac and cheese.

~~~~~~

Horror: I love-

Lust: I know, you love mac and cheese. You think it's the best thing ever, you love eating it every time we go out to lunch. You love it every time I make it for you. You love mac and cheese, I GET IT.

Horror: I was going to say 'you'.

Lust: Oh... Wait, WHAT?


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Dream: Babe, wanna see a movie?

Error: Yeah, but I pick the movie.

*Dream thinking*: Oh, shoot, it's going to be some weird gore.

Dream: Okay.

*After a while.*

*Error singing*: Be a man!

Dream: We must be swift as the coursing river!

Error: Be a man! With all the force of a great typhoon!

Dream: Be a man! With all the strength of a raging fire!

Error and Dream: Mysterious as the dark side of the moooooo000000on~

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*Opening presents on Christmas morning.*

Passive: I hope it's a puppy!

Error: You say that every year, Nighty. You know we can't have a dog in the castle.

*Error to Cross*: So what did you get them, Night?

*Passive gasps dramatically.*

Cross: A puppy.

Error: You're an idiot Cross.

Cross: I'm your idiot.

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*Nightmare sarcastically*: Well, aren't you sugar and spice and everything nice!

Dream: Well, aren't you rudeness and sarcasm and.... um.....

Nightmare: No, you go on. If you find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, I'll admit that we're brothers.

*Dream panicking and not thinking what's he  saying*: Collapsin' Orgasm.

Nightmare: Pffhahahahhahahaahaha!

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*Teenagers come back!*

Ink: Hey Dream! Looks like we're working together for the project!

Dream: Does this mean Blue and Dust are working together?

Ink: Uhm, yeah?

Dream: Blue's ambitious plans to do whatever the heck they want combined with Dust's hard work to carry out said plan is combined in a project where potentially dangerous magic is involved?

Ink: Yeah?

Dream: ...........

Dream: We're screwed.

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*After XChara did something awesome in Cross' body*

Nightmare: Whatever possessed you to do that should possess you more often.

XChara: Thank you.

Cross: Fuck you too.

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*Blue points his blaster at Dust*: STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING! DON'T MOVE!

Dust: What-?!

Blue: I SAID DON'T MOVE!

*Dust freezes in place*: Okay, okay! What's going on?

Blue: Put your hands up!

Dust: ........... *does what he's told*

*Blue hugs him*

Dust: ....................

Dust: This is not fair.

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Horror: Sometimes I am scared of Error.

Nightmare: What? They're like a little kitten! How can you be scared of them?

Horror: More like a little kitten with endless energy and too much glitter..

Nightmare: The glitter is a bit scary. It's amazing how they can use it to fight.

Killer: He has skills. Skills that they got by being too sweet and pure for the world.

Dust: He's nature's answer to human pollution.

Nightmare: He's God's answer to Satan.

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*Classic holding up hairbrush*: You COMBplete me!

*Red holds up handeld mirror*: You're MAGNIFYcent!

*Classic holding pebbles*: You ROCK my world!

*Red throws a cart of eggs*: You're too EGGcelent!

*Classic throws a full tea kettle*: You're qualiTEA!!

*Red attempting to unhinge a door*: YOU'RE ADOORABLE!

*Blue in the background*: They've been going like this for nearly five hours and I think i've lost all my sanity.

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Dream: Hey, do you have a bag I can borrow?

Passive: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.

Dream: Literally all you had to do was say no, but I'm getting more concerned about you brother.

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*Cross screaming and angry af.*

*Nightmare smiling*

Cross: WHY ARE YOU SMILING?! I'M MAD AT YOU!

Nightmare: Hey Error have you ever seen how cute Cross is when angry?

Cross: WTF?

*Error laughing*: Omfg it's so cute!

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*Nightmare and Cross having deep conversation.*

Nightmare: I'm glad I met you.

*Cross is slightly shocked.*

Nightmare: Yeah... I'm not that tough.

Nightmare: I'm a marshmallow that tries to be a cactus and fails repeatedly.

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*Blue is toll Dust is smoll. Deal with it.*

Blue: You look so cute when you're irritated.

Dust: I'm gonna slit your throat open.

Blue: Can you even reach that high?

Dust: I don't know but if I can't I'll just destroy your ankles!

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*Cross says something dumb.*

Error: Remind me again why I' m so in love with you?

*Cross smiles.*

Error: Ah, of course.

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Ink: I like your pants.

Dream: Thanks, they were 50% off.

Ink: Well I'd like them 100% off.

Dream: What kind of store just gives stuff away?

Ink: No, that's not what I-

Dream: That's no way to run business, Ink.

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Ink: The risk was carefully calculated.

Blue: WE ALMOST DIED!

Ink: I never said I was good at math.

Blue: WLL MAYBE USE THIS NEXT TIME!

*Blue slaps Ink with calculator.*

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Dream: Why are you so extra all the time?

*Nightmare slowly turns around in a rotating chair as his long cloak drags on the floor with his polished crown sitting on top of his head. A cat is perched in his lap as his shiny, bejewelled, ring fingered hand pets it. The roar from the fireplace behind him casts an orange hue as the shadows darken his expression.*

Nightmare: What do you mean?

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Passive: I fell down the stairs today.

Dream: Good job, I'm really proud.

Passive: Thanks, it was either step on the cat or let myself go down.

Dream: At least the cat is okay.

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*Teenagers strike again!*

Passive: Aw! Look, a cat!

Error: If we stop to look at every cat on the way to school, we might make it right before class ends.

Passive: And the problem is... ?

Error: I didn't say there was one.

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Killer: We should be partners.

Cross: You mean, like, partners in crime?

Killer: Yeah, that's exactly what I meant...

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Error: Don't you know who I am?

Dream: Yup! I just don't care.

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Dust: How are you feeling?

Killer: I don't have feelings. I take them to an abyss deep within my soul and throw them off a cliff.

Dust: That was oddly specific.

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*Sci talking about some nerdy shit that he's really passionate about*

Red: I don't know what you're saying but you're so excited and happy! Please keep going.

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Cross: How the mighty have fallen!

Nightmare: It's a dropped chocolate bar. Stop being dramatic.

*Error walks in and sees the chocolate on the floor.*

Error: Oh how the mighty-

Nightmare: OH FOR GOD SAKE!

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Killer: We're all going to die today.

Error: If that sort of optimism isn't what gets a man up in the morning, I don't know what does.

Nightmare: Error no-!

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Cashier: Can I help you?

Killer: Can one mortal truly help another? Can they really aid a fellow sufferer who presides beside them on an equal plane of knowledge regarding their destiny?

Cashier: Sir, this is a grocery store. Please have your existential crisis somewhere else.

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Geno: Burry me with both middle fingers up.

Reaper: The fact that you say it with such confidence, like you'll die with a week, concerns me. But besides that, you have my word to burry you like that.

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Dream: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Error: Well it didn't feel fucking pleasant.

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Error: At this point, my options are A) knit my scarf, or B) commit homicide.

Error: Honestly this is the hardest choice in my life.

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Cross: HOW COULD YOU?!

Cross: YOU ARE A COLDHEARTED MONSTER!

Cross: I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN, YOU MURDERER!

Passive:...what's going on here?

Cross: HORROR ATE MY MARSHMALLOW SNOWMAN! THE ONE WITH A SPARKLY HAT AND A FAMILY THAT CARED ABOUT HIM!

*Passive turns towards Horror with murder on their face*

*Gryffindor chewing*: what?

Passive: ...how COULD YOU?!

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Dream: *sigh* What's wrong with me?

*Ink puts arm around Dream* Oh, honey... that's a very long list.

Dream: Not. Helping.

Ink: Shit sorry. I never really know what to say when others are feeling down.

Dream: Sometimes, people don't need words. A shoulder to cry can be perfect.

Ink: Noted.

*Dream proceeds to cry on Ink's shoulder*

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Blue: That's ridiculous, Dust doesn't have a crush on me.

Ink: Yes he does.

Dream: Yes he does.

Dust: Yes I do.

Ink: Wait how did you get in here?

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Killer: Hey do you know anyone who can teach me how to play the trumpet?

Horror: Why?

Killer: I wanna wander around the dungeons and annoy Nightmare.

Dust: Technically you don't actually need to know how to play it for that.

Killer: You have opened my eyes, Dust.

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*Text messages.*

Dusty-boi: Do you have anxiety prime?

Dusty-boi: *Amazon

Stabby-Mcstab: Yea I got both.

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*Bit more txt messages.*

King.octopus: Im gonna ask u some questions

Glitch_bitch: Ok????

King.octopus:
1.whats the name of ur brother 2.Q,R,S,T,?
3.what is the opposite of stop
4.whats the opposite of in
5."I drank a can of soda ? her
6.can u spell me

Glitch_bitch:
1.Will
2.U
3.Go
4.Out
5.With
6.Me

King.octopus: YES!!!!!

Glitch_bitch: What!!!! Ooo... I see what u did there.

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Error: You're giving me a sticker?

Dream: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a cat saying "me wow!"

Error: I'm not a damn preschooler.

Dream: Fine then I'll take it back.

Error: No! I earned this back off!

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Horror: I don't know how you put up with me sometimes.

Killer: Loyalty, I guess.

Killer: And maybe alcohol. But that's how I deal with a lot of things.

Dust: Truer words have never been spoken.

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Lust: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "You know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Geno: I already like you.

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Reaper: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is; a look around the room and a casual "Haven't decided yet." is usually good response.

Geno: I tough you well.

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*Fresh finger guns at Error*: STOP RIGHT THERE! No sudden moves or I'll shot ya!

Error: ........

*Error starts moving.*

Fresh: Hey I said if ya move-!

*Error moves faster*

Fresh: ... bro...ya really need to get some help.

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Nightmare: It's okay if you disagree with me. I can't force you to be right.

Dream:

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*Killer laughs at something.*

Killer: Ok back to suffering.

Rest of Nightmare's gang: Are you okay?

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Dust: Did you just referred to knife as 'people opener'?

Blue: Should I not have.

Dust: I mean you're not wrong I just wanted to make sure.

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*Cross smiles*

*Nightmare putting on sunglasses*: Damn! I didn't know Earth had two suns!

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Blue: Well SOMEONE thought it would be a great idea to throw our backup plan off a bridge.

Ink: It was on FIRE!

Blue: You're a skeleton! You wouldn't get burned!

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Dream: Can you hit him with your knife?

Killer: I believe the technical term is 'stab'. But yes, yes I can.

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Error: Where have you been?

*Nightmare coming back from meeting with Star Sanses*: Emotional Hell.

Error: You want cuddles?

Nightmare: Of-fucking-course I want cuddles.

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Dust: Did you have to hit me with a corpse's leg? Was that really necessary?

Horror: Necessary, no. Hilarious, yes.

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*Group chat*

Stabby-Mcstab: Why is peter pan always flying?

Glitch_bitch: Cause he neverlands!

King.ocpopus: I love this joke because it never grows old

Ill_eat_your_ankles: It has a nice hook.

Xman: It ticks to its own rhythm.

I_eat_paint: I don't get it. I'm lost, boys

Berry.blue: These jokes make me want to jump out a window

Dusty-boi: Don't do that. It's too wendy outside

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Passive: I'm too gay for this shit!

Cross: What shit?

Passive: Marriage, aparently.

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Ink: This might kill you.

Error: Let's get on with it then.

Dream: Error no-!

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Horror: Is it still murder if I give them a heads up?

Dust: That's called a threat.

Horror: Damn it!

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*When Nightmare tries to remember where he left the keys.*

Horror: Don't look at me; I can't I can't even remember who I had for breakfast.

*Cross still new to the gang*: Who?

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Nightmare: If you do that again, l'll throw you out that fucking window you- what are you doing?

Killer: Checking how high the drop is, see if it's worth it.

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(Okay this is way too long so I'll end it here. Bye~)

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net