2.10

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He was treating me like a queen. He was everything I could possibly wish for. I enjoyed spending time with him, but no matter how hard I tried, I knew I would never be able to return the feelings he had for me.

I could see it in his eyes. I saw how he was slowly starting to fall in love with me. The way he was looking at me. All the little things. I recognized them, because they were the exact way, I used to look at someone else. The exact way I started to fall in love with someone else.

It wasn't fair. None of it was. Hiding the truth from him was not the right thing to do. I should have never agreed to try to date him. Especially because deep down I knew I had feelings for someone else.

There just wasn't enough space for two people in my heart.

I hated myself for it. Jude deserved better. He deserved someone who returned his feelings, not someone who was just trying to forget about the boy she was in love with.

I thought it would be easy. I underestimated the strength of love. It wasn't easy. Staying away from him. Not looking at him. Trying so hard to get over him and him ending up being the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep.

I knew the reason why it was so hard for me to forget him.

I was clinging to every last bit of possibly existing hope. Hope that somehow, we could be together. Hope, that there would be a miracle. Hope, that everything would be the way it used to be.

The other reason was something I didn't want to admit.

My feelings for Jamal were nothing like I could have ever imagined. I thought staying away from him would decrease them, but the opposite happened.

The further I was away from him, the closer I to him I wanted to be.

My feelings for him were unexpected and they were growing practically every minute.

But maybe just maybe if I'd try hard enough, I could develop feelings for Jude.

...

I had been seeing Jude for over two weeks and it has been going good so far. He visited me once a week and stayed in Munich overnight twice and I flew to Dortmund watch one of his games.

This week I was flying to Dortmund again since I had a few days off work. Since Jude had training, he wasn't able to pick me up from the airport. I ordered a taxi to drive me to the hotel I would stay at overnight.

After I received my keys, I took the elevator to my hotel room. The room wasn't anything special since I would only stay there for one night. Besides the usual furnishing there was a huge window. I had a great view over the city and it looked very beautiful.

Once I changed into different clothes and applied some makeup, I ordered another taxi to go drive me to the training grounds. Jude had suggested I should watch him train and I agreed to do so.

By the time I got there, training had nearly ended. I watched them for a little over fifteen minutes and met a few of Jude's teammates afterwards.

"Hi, I'm Karim Adeyemi," one of the players introduced himself.

"I'm Isabella. Nice to meet you,"

"You're Jude's girlfriend, right?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah. We're dating," I wasn't sure what exactly to respond, since Jude and I hadn't talked about what exactly we were.

We went on a few dates and we were definitely more than friends, but I wouldn't call him my boyfriend.

"How long are you staying in Dortmund?" Karim wanted to know.

"Two days. I got a few days off work," I replied.

"Have fun here then. I'll probably see you around. Bye," he said and walked away with two of his teammates.

"Isa!" I turned around and Jude wrapped his arms around my waist, lifted me up and spun me around. When he put me back down a bright smile was plastered on his face and his eyes were glowing with happiness.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to greet you earlier," he smiled.

"Don't worry. You had training and you're here now," I returned his smile.

"So, what do you wanna do for the rest of the day?" he wanted to know.

"I could use some food,"

"Sounds good to me,"

We left the training grounds and Jude drove to his apartment to get changed. Afterwards he drove us to a hotel near my hotel. By the time we finished eating the sun was already starting to set.

"Do you wanna go for a walk?" Jude asked, while putting his jacket on.

"Sure," I smiled as he helped me into mine as well.

He led me to a small path, which we followed until we reached the riverbank of a small lake.

"We can watch the sunset from here. It's one of my favorite places in the whole city," Jude slid his hand into mine, while smiling.

We walked along the riverbank, watching the sun float lower and lower, until it looked like it was hitting the water. The sun seemed to drown in the sea and the sight was absolutely beautiful. The sky was painted in a breathtaking shade of orange and I couldn't decide if the sky's reflection didn't look even better.

Jude slightly pulled on our connected hands causing my glance to snap away from the beautiful view and back to his face. His eyes scanned my face and his lips curled up into a smile.

He slightly twisted his head to the side and before I could react, our lips connected.

It was a short kiss and I didn't kiss him back because I was too surprised and for some reason Jude didn't notice it.

"I want you to just listen to me, alright?" Jude said.

"I know you said you wanted to take things slow and kissing you isn't exactly taking things slow, but I just felt like it was the right moment. If you don't want me to, I won't do it again, but I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me. It's kind of crazy how important you've grown to me in such a short amount of time. I like you, Isabella. I mean how could I not? You're perfect. I know we only just started dating and it's okay if you're not there yet, but I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me,"

Jude scanned my face, but I was still too shocked and surprised to react to anything that had happened.

"Can you please say something?" he asked me.

"I..., I don't know what to say. I don't want to disappoint you-"

"You wouldn't,"

This isn't fair. None of this was fair. I shouldn't be lying to him.

"I..., I...-"

"What is it?" he frowned.

"I just... I don't think I'm there yet. I'm sorry," I said and Jude closed his eyes for a quick second and his expression turned sad.

"It's okay," he finally spoke after a few long moments of silence.

...

author's note:

next chapter will have jamal content don't worry

i miss writing about them tbh

also this chapter is so short compared to the rest bc it's so hard to write about isabella&jude when she's supposed to be with jamal

have a good night/day everybody <3


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