Don't wanna be so afraid,
          it's time to get out my way.
             I'm running, I can't keep running.

Heads up! This chapter switches POV halfway through! Also, special announcement at the end of the chapter(:

STERLING'S POV:

    "Dad... I want to talk to him." I sigh, sitting on the island.

    "So talk to him... What's the worst that could happen... What, do you think if he turns you away you'll spontaneously combust or something?" He jokes, and I shake my head.

    "No. You can't spontaneously combust unless you're ill. Your body won't produce the chemical unless... Nevermind." I sigh, and my dad looks at me like I've got three heads. Damn you Harry for filling my head with stupid knowledge. "I know I'm not going to combust, but I can't talk to him." I sigh.

    "Okay so don't talk to him.. Wait till he talks to you." He shrugs, peeling an orange as he stands across from me in the kitchen.

    "But I want to talk to him." I whine, and now he's the one sighing.

    "Dear god, please help me." My dad looks up at the ceiling, and I groan. "Just wait until he talks to you." He laughs.

    "But what if he never talks to me?" I ask.

    "Um... We can roll their house, but you'll never speak of it if we do." My dad suggests, and I stifle a bit of a laugh, smirking at my dad. "I'm not very good at this Ster... I don't know how to help you here.. Maybe.. Maybe you could try calling Jalyn, or Andrea..." He suggests, and I give him a look. "Okay fine.. Don't call them." He shakes his head. "What do girls do when they're going through a break up? I don't know how this stuff works.. In movies it's ice cream and romance movies.. Do you want to watch romance movies, because we have netflix I can-"

    "No, the thought of romantic movies makes me want to throw up."

    "So what do you want to do? I'm off all day." He throws his hands up.

    "Let's build a treehouse." I suggest, already knowing his answer.

    "You know I'm not going out there for that tree house. Sterling I want to help you but I can't-"

    "I know you can't.. I thought I'd try... You know what else we can do today?" I ask, and he shrugs. "Get your shoes, come on." I wave my hands and he looks at me with his brows drawn in, confusion on his face. "I'm driving.. Your car of course." I raise an eyebrow.

    "Just this once, only because our neighbor made you sad." He lowers his head, and stares at me so I know how serious he is. He pulls his shoes on, and I steal his keys from the dish on the front table, running outside. I look in front of me at the Land Rover and clap my hands. "Yes." I pump my fist in the air feeling accomplished, and he follows behind me. "Wait, go get Jon." I tell him, and he scowls at me.

    "If Jon gets any of his fluids in my car I may or may not freak out Ster.. I agreed to having a dog, but I didn't agree to-"

    "Yeah yeah, you love your car more than your dog and your daughter we get it, now get the dog, and get in the car." I nod my head, and he turns away, going back into the house. I walk to the other side of my dad's car, getting in the driver's seat, and I hear the front door open, but not mine. I look, and see Harry walking out of the house, and I see a familiar face I haven't seen in a long time... Carson. I stare for a second, my eyes focusing on Harry, seeing him in a normal state after everything. He's a bit pale, but still radiant. He's giving a soft smile, and I watch as he looks over here.I push the seat back as quickly as I can, making myself invisible to them.

    "Have you talked to her?" I hear Carson's voice, and I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping they didn't see me.

    "No. She probably wouldn't want to talk to me." Harry speaks back to Carson.

    "How do you know if you don't try... Dude she needs friends." He speaks back, and I scrunch my face up.

    "She doesn't need anything. That's Sterling.. She really doesn't need anyone if she doesn't want them.. Besides I can't be her friend.. Not after.. After everything." He pushes Carson's comment off.

    "Dude you guys got in an argument. You broke up with her. You can still fix it.. We all miss Sterling, and you're the only one that's got a chance at talking to her, and being around her.. We've all accepted that, but don't take that for granted dude... Don't let that go."

    "I already have." He'd probably be shaking his head if I could see him. I stare in front of me, not satisfied with that answer. I know he didn't tell Carson the real reason he and I broke up. He wouldn't have... He had to have made something up. I hear a car door slam, and then I suspect they drive off. My dad walks out with Jon, and I adjust the seat again, sitting it up straight.

"What in the world are you doing?" He asks, letting Jon in the back seat.

    "Adjusting my seat so I can drive your very nice care properly." I announce, moving my hands over the leather steering wheel.

    "You had to adjust the chair all the way back, and forward again?" He laughs as he sits in the passenger seat.

    "You know, I think this game of asking Sterling questions for no apparent reason is over, and it's time for me to focus on the road in front of me, and drive.. You know, to protect the car and all." I tilt my head down.

    "Just drive." He shakes his head. He moves his hand, and buckles his seatbelt, and tries to casually grab the handle at the front of the car while bracing himself as I back out of the driveway.

    "I'm a good driver, I don't know why you're acting like you're about to ride the world's scariest roller coaster." I roll my eyes.

    "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst..." He mumbles under his breath, and I reach for the knob, trying to turn up the radio. "Hands on the wheel, are you trying to kill us? Eyes on the road! Oh my goodness, who the hell taught you to drive?" He overreacts as if I haven't had my license for almost two years.

    "You did dad... All you." I laugh, and he takes a deep breath. He calms down as I drive, and Jon stays fairly calm too after I cracked the back window for him. I pull up to the spot I've been a few times, that I've grown very very fond of over the past few weeks. My dad looks in front of us as I pull onto the gravel, and stop the car, getting out to let Jon out. He jumps from the car, and runs straight to the grassy area, acting crazy wild.

    "What is this place?" He asks as we walk past the picnic tables.

    "A place I like to come when I want to think about things. Or just be nowhere but somewhere all at once." I tell him, knowing he might thinks it's stupid.

    "What do you do here? How often do you come here?" He asks, obviously having had no idea about it until today.

    "Harry brought me here because his mom found it.. He thought I would like it.. He skipped rocks with me, and then after that I came back once or twice alone. Sometimes you eat pancakes, sometimes you talk... and every time you skip rocks." I tell him, jumping forward to where the water meets the shore. My dad follows and I bend down, reaching for the rocks, hoping to find a good one. I look for a few seconds, and pick out too, passing one to my dad. He takes the rock, and tosses it, but it sinks right away. I stifle a laugh, and he just shakes his head.

    "What, can you do better?" He jokes, and I take my rock, throwing it. It skips twice, and sinks, and I raise my eyebrows at him.

    "Yes, yes I can..." I smile proudly. We skip rocks for a few minutes in silence, and Jon continues to run back towards me with a large stick in his mouth. I throw it, and throw it again.

    "Ster.. Sweetheart, what are you going to do when school starts back?" He asks softly, holding the rock in his hand. I take my rock, and throw it, watching it skip.

    "That... I'll try my hardest to stay above water, and not sink until I can get into a college." I tell him.

    "Have you decided on a school yet?" He asks me, and I hate talking about this... With him at least.

    "Stanford.. Maybe.." I shrug, and he looks at me from the side.

    "Yale sent another letter." He tells me, and I sigh.

    "I'm not going to Yale dad. I can't go to Yale." I laugh, and he turns me towards him.

    "And why not? Sterling in my day if an Ivy League school wants you, you go to the ivy league school." He laughs, and I shake my head.

    "Dad... That Ivy League is across the country. Almost 3,000 miles away. Not a few hours drive, but a few hours long plane flight, and you don't have Lee. You don't have mom. You have me.. You have me, and I can't-"

    "Sterling King, you don't take care of me, I take care of you. I'm your dad, I take care of you. I'm not going to sit by and see this opportunity come up, and you pretend you don't want it because you think you need to stay here to take care of me. I can take care of myself." He fights me.

    "Dad, you don't even know how to boil water." I laugh.

    "That's what youtube is for. Don't stay on the west coast. Don't stay in a place you know you don't want to be with people you don't want to see anymore... At least think about it.. Actually think about it." He pleads with me.

    "I'll think about it." I nod my head, knowing damn well I want Yale more than anything. The thought of being in a place I've never been. Close enough to ride a train to New York. New people that don't have to know anything about me. A roommate... But my dad... The memories, all of it.. I can't just leave without turning back. I've lived here my whole life... and though there's nothing now.. What about Harry? Dammit.. What about me... Yale is a dream.. Not Stanford. Stanford is the fake dream... Yale is it for me.

HARRY'S POV:

    *PLAY THINGS WON'T GO MY WAY BY PEACH TREE RASCALS*

    "Why didn't you tell me Mason was coming?" I ask as Mason leaves to go to the bathroom.

    "I just thought the guys could hangout without the girls. Jake is too whipped so he's with Claire... but I don't know, I thought we could have fun." He shrugs.

    "Yeah let me just have fun with him, sounds great." I groan, and he pushes my shoulder.

    "Dude. Get over it, he's a fun guy... You can't give him shit for having a thing for Sterling, she's really pretty, and she's super awesome, and-"

    "Yeah I know she is.. Doesn't mean he's allowed to think so." I sit back in the booth, and Carson gives me a look.

    "Didn't you say you moved forward?" He asks.

    "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't... Why does it matter? I don't like the fact that he has some claim on her because he forced himself on her a million times." I shrug him off, and ignore the look.

    "He just kissed her didn't he?" He asks, and I scoff.

    "No. She wasn't interested in him, and he knew that. Mason is a dick." I spit the truth, and he walks forward again.

    "What are we talking about?" Mason jumps over the back of the booth, and sits between Carson and I.

    "Nothing."

    "Nothing." We both speak at the same time.

    "You can just say Sterling. It's not that deep." He laughs, and I clench my jaw.

    "Or we can not mention Sterling because she's not here." I suggest, and Carson lets out a nervous laugh.

    "So, are you guys excited for senior-"

    "What's going on between the two of you anyways? Is she dating, single? Coming back to school in the fall?" Mason asks, leaning over towards me.

    "I don't know." I shrug, not wanting to talk about her especially towards him.

    "Because if she is coming back I'm definitely going to try to talk to her again.. Something obviously happened that affected her so i'll use that angle." He speaks out, and I swear he's lost his brain.

    "Excuse me, use what angle?" I ask.

    "The shoulder to cry on angle... Give her attention that she needs so she can cry to me about whatever happened to her, and I'll get her that way." He speaks out confidently.

    "Well she's not single so you can't do that. Even if she was single she's not some game.. You don't get to strategize how you win her... Even if she was a game, your strategizing skills are very sub par." I speak before thinking, and Carson looks between the two of us. I give him a look of complete shock, wondering how dumb Mason really is.

    "Sub par? What language are you speaking this isn't England, this is-"

    "Sorry I forgot I was talking to you.. Your strategy sucks... Bro." I spit the last word, giving him a sarcastic smile.

    "Maybe we should-" Carson tries to interject

    "So you are dating her? Oh this is great." He laughs, getting that annoying cocky grin on his face.

    "Yeah I am dating her, and if you're not going to respect that then-"

    "I'll respect it when I know it's what she actually wants you dick. Sterling can hardly ever make up her mind. One second she wants you, the next she changes her mind.. It's always mixed signals with her.. By the time senior year starts she wont want you anymore, and I'll have a shot. If not then, maybe you're right.. Who knows." He shrugs his shoulders and the confidence he has is what pisses me off the most.

    "I fucking know. I know, and she knows, and we know each other. We're dating, and there's nothing you can do about it so quit while you're ahead Mason." I shake my head, still baffled by his arrogance. "What fucking star sign are you jesus?" I ask out loud, not meaning to.

    "I don't know, my birthday is August 5th." He shrugs.

    "Fucking leo's." I shake my head, and he keeps looking forward.

    "How does Sterling feel about you talking to her ex best friends?" Mason throws it in my face, and I shake my head.

    "Shut the fuck up." I mutter through my teeth.

    "Oh so she doesn't know?" He laughs, and I close my eyes.

    "Maybe I should just leave." I mutter.

    "No, don't worry about it. I'll go.. Just know she's not going to be happy when she finds out you're going behind her back.. Maybe I was right after all." He grins, grabbing his things. I watch him walk away, and shake my head.

    "God I can't stand him." I speak under my breath.

    "I think it's the whole real life prince charming thing." Carson nods as he takes a drink of his drink.   

    "What?" I ask.

    "Remember what I said. You're like the real life teen version of prince charming... and you kinda just came in and took one of the girls that no one has ever had, and some have always wanted. He's probably just jealous because deep down he knows you've got more of chance with-"

    "I don't want to talk about Ster okay?" I shut the conversation down, and he shakes his head.

    "Didn't you just tell Mason you were dating her? And then didn't you just tell me right before this that you weren't dating her? So which one is it?" He asks, and I know he's genuinely curious.

    "Not." I answer shortly.

    "So why did you tell him you were?" He laughs, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks at me.

    "Because he pissed me off. She doesn't want him. I'm doing him a favor, and her as well."

    "Dude you have serious anger issues." He shakes his head, and I scoff.

    "No I fucking don't, he just... Okay shut up. I don't have anger issues. I have Mason issues, there's a big difference." I huff.

    "It's the prince charming thing, I'm telling you, he sees you as-"

    "It's because he's a leo. Technically they're my sister sign so I should get along with Leo's well, but I swear I can't stand Leo's. I think it's Sterling's fault, she doesn't like Leo's and it's rubbing off on me. Maybe it's just a Mason thing." I shake my head.

    "Wait, you know about that Zodiac stuff?" He asks me, and I nod.

    "Um yeah. I know about a lot of things. Why?" I ask.

    "Well because.. Not that I really believe in all of it but I'm a virgo.. You know, August 26th and all... but Hallie, she's a Cancer, and I was just wondering if you could maybe do that weird fact thing and tell me if we're... You know if her and I are-"

    "If you're compatible?" I ask, and he nods. I crack a smile, and lean in. "Well you're in luck... Cancer women, and Virgo men are actually incredibly compatible... Between the two of you-" I start in, spilling what I know from the reading I've done, but my mind isn't on all of the stars.

It's on one star... Sterling, someone I've grown to.. I've grown to really like her, and I messed it all up.. Virgo's and Aquarius' aren't compatible where it stands... But her and I were compatible.. We were incredibly compatible, and I messed it up, and I wont do anything about it. Because I don't want to hurt her, nor myself.

So this is what I get... a hatred for Mason. A big love for my overbearing, and overly curious cousin., and a want for someone I wont be able to have again. Mostly because I can't get out of my own damn head. She wont want me in a few years.. Maybe even months... I shouldn't have pushed myself to kiss her the way I did. I don't blame her for touching me the way she did either because I came onto her strong... But the way I reacted, and her reaction too was all the proof I needed to know this will never work.

—————————————————

A/N: hmmmm so.... How's Yale sounding Sterling?!?!?! BOMB = DROPPED.

Also I'm sorry I'm making y'all hate Mason more and more. It's not his fault he's a Leo.

I LOVE YOU ALL! And you'll love the next chapter swear it(:

NOW FOR THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

I did this for Cherry so I'm doing it again for Roots!

As some of you may know I own my own merch shop called @dressyourselfwithkindness on Instagram! We sell lots of pop culture and lifestyle merch as well as 1D and Harry merch(: there's cherry merch on there and now.. THERE'S ROOTS MERCH!!

Of course y'all don't have to buy anything but I thought I'd let you all know bc right now until Monday November 30th there's a Black Friday/ Cyber Monday sale! 20% off the whole store with code BLACKFRIDAY

Even if you don't get anything it would mean the world if you checked out my shop and gave the shop a follow as well!

Here's a sneak peek of some of the