I can find my way just by looking at stars.
I have not lost my senses.
I can find my wind through a room in the dark.
But I don't know.
How to figure out where to go...
From here.

    STERLING'S POV:

    I wake up with a bit more pep in my step this morning knowing i'll be eating pancakes that aren't frozen but freshly made. I skip to my bathroom, going straight into it as I get myself ready. I stay minimal, knowing we'll be coming back here after to work on the treehouse. There's no point in a full face of makeup if i'll end up sweating it off before the day is over.

    After getting ready I go to my closet, and that's when panic sets in. Realization hits me like a freight train when I think about it in full. He said it last night. He's taking me to get pancakes... As a date.. A date, a fucking date. Fuck. This is a date... I said that already. I've never been on a date before. I've been on friend dates with Jalyn, and Andrea. I was asked on dates by Mason. I never said yes, but he definitely asked... What do I wear on a date.. How do I act? Why am I sweating in places I didn't know I could sweat just thinking about it?

    I start with jeans, trying to stay calm, then I pull a skirt. Then a dress. Then a shirt. This follows with about twenty more shirts. A million different  choices, and then I can't stand it anymore. I sit down in the large pile of no's i've accumulated and I decide instantly that I'm not-

    "Sterling?" I hear my dad's voice from outside the door, and a soft knock.

    "Come in." I sigh in defeat.

    "Wow, why so many outfit choices for a day outside?" He asks, and I've never really experienced this. Most girls would be opposed to telling their dad about boys, or girls they're interested in... But I don't have a mom to ask questions. I don't have anyone but my dad, and he's been my best friend through all of this. Everything since before Lee, and after.

    "Um.. I've got plans with Harry." I tell him, and look down at the clothes, feeling defeated. "You don't have to worry about it. I'll figure it out." I shake my head, and start to get up. He puts his hand on my shoulder, and stops me.

    "Wait hold on a minute. This isn't just plans, is it Ster?" He asks, and I shake my head.

    "I'm not going dad. I can't go on a date. I've never been on a date... I don't have anything to wear, and I don't-"

    "Hey, the King's don't talk like that. You're your father's daughter, and you don't give up... I've.. I've never done this before but I'm sure it's not that hard. I can help." He tells me, and I give him a soft smile.

    "It's fine dad, I don't-"

    "How about orange? That's your favorite color isn't it? If you wear that color it'll be like a good luck charm." He tells me.

    "It's a good idea, but it's not even about the outfit dad. I... I've never been on a date before, and I don't want to talk to you about it because... Well because I don't want to make you uncomfortable. This is normally the type of conversation a daughter has with her mom, not her dad.. I just.. I'm nervous." I tell him honestly.

*Play Where Do I Go? By Lizzy McApline*

    "Well as much as we both wish it wasn't like this it is.. I took over the roll of mom and dad a long time ago, and I'm not backing down now. I'm a good listener. You said I was a... a Pisces? I think that's right.. That means I'm a good listener right?" He asks, trying to use something he knows I love.

    "Yes... That's one of your traits." I laugh, and he sits on the edge of my bed.

    "Alright then I'm all ears Ster." He looks at me, and I sigh.

    "I know he's friends with Mason, and Carson, and all of them. I know there's not much chance but a small one that this is going to blow up in my face, and I think... Well I think he's a really good person, but... but he's got some emotional baggage that I can't carry on top of mine dad. I have.. I have a lot of things going on in my life too, and I don't want-"

    "Can I stop you?" He speaks softly, and I nod, letting him speak. "Sterling if I can tell you anything it's that he doesn't want you to carry the weight for him. He wants you to acknowledge that you know he has that weight. He wants you to see him carrying it, and he wants you to walk by his side as he lets it go... No man, nor women for that matter wants you to hold their baggage. They should know it's not yours to hold..." He tells me.

    "So say he opens up.. Say I open up, and we show each other the weight each of us carry, then what?" I ask.

    "What I would do is take the other person by the hand and move uphill with them. Look at it like this Sterling.. Imagine our lives like.. Like the tallest mountain in the world-"

    "Everest.." I speak out. He turns his head to me. "Mount Everest is the tallest- You know what nevermind, continue." I wave him on, knowing I just had a Harry moment.

    "Imagine life like Everest then.. When we're at the bottom we've got bags on top of bags. Each of them filled to the brim of things we think we need to hold onto... But the farther we go uphill the more we realize that all this stuff is just bringing us back down, it's disguising itself as help, when in reality it's just hurt.. It's like our own baggage. When we're moving up and moving on in life, it's easier to move uphill when we let some of that weight go.. As for you, and Harry, or any guy that you meet.. I'd hope that all you would want and all he'd want is to let the other let go of those things... but don't let them do it alone." He tells me, and I never realized how wise my father was until this moment.

    " Is that what you did with mom?" I ask softly, and he sighs.

    "Your mom... I love your mom Sterling. Still to this day I love her more than words because if you truly love someone you'll never lose that feeling. She was a wonderful woman, she just lost sight of who she was. She got lost, and she didn't want to hold my hand anymore.. She let her weight crush her, and.. And I saw you, and I saw Lee, and I knew I couldn't let it crush me like it crushed her. I knew that even without her I had to do it for you guys.. You both held my hand uphill. Neither of you knew that's what you were doing, but you both helped me reach the top.. It's my job to hold your hand now, and.. And now I think it's Harry's turn too." He tells me, and I feel myself blush. "You really like this kid don't you?" He asks, and I find myself nodding.

    "He's not like the boys that I've met in this town... He values a lot of the same things I do.. He's special." I tell him honestly, feeling more open now that we've already talked a bit.

    "I just need you to promise me that you'll be careful. He's a boy Sterling, you know that boys can-"

    "Okay! Not having this talk with you, not in a million years." I wave my hands.

    "But we never had the talk." He tells me which is truthful.

    "I took health class I think I've got it covered in my mind." I confirm. He stands up with a sigh, and walks towards my closet, stepping over the clothes.

    "I think he'll appreciate you in whatever you wear. He doesn't seem like a superficial person.. But if you want my advice I think you should wear this. I think it's my favorite." He tells me, and takes out a soft, burnt orange sweater. I take it in my hands as he passes it over, and I look up to him, seeing him as he moves towards the door. He turns back to look at me as he stands in the door frame, and I pause a moment, realizing that this is the first time we've ever really had an open heart conversation like that.

    He's my dad. He's all i've got so of course I talk with him. Of course we're close but we've never related to each other in this way. We've never had an adult conversation where we've been honest and open, and in this moment I feel overwhelmed. I feel an odd sense of certainty, and also urgency. I scramble off of the floor, and drop the sweater as I move towards my dad. I lift my arms up, and throw them around his neck, pressing my face to his chest.

    "Thank you." I whisper, feeling content. He freezes for a minute before wrapping his arms around me, and when he does he gives me a big squeeze. "I love you dad."

    "I love you too Sterling.. I'll wait downstairs for him alright?" He asks, and I nod into his chest, and then pull away, going for the sweater.

    After some heavy deliberating I stuck with the sweater, and put on some shorts to go with it. They're tight at my waist, and a burnt rusted yellow color. I pair it all with some chunky sneakers, and grab a bag, throwing it over my shoulder.

It's simple, but perfectly my style, and fuck, someone just knocked on the front door. I run out of my room, and down the stairs in record time, avoiding the cheesy movie-like scene where my dad and Harry have an awkward encounter until I walk down the stairs and cause both of them to look up at me as if I'm some ethereal beauty blessing the earth. No thank you, this is not a movie, this is a pancake date.

    "Well someone's in a hurry." My dad laughs.

    "No hurry, just hungry. I love you, we'll be back later." I jump up and kiss his cheek, and walk out the door, Harry turning with me so he's facing the other way.

    "Have fun! Be careful please!" My dad calls out, and Harry turns over his shoulder.

    "We will! We'll be back soon sir!" Harry waves, and I walk towards his yard so we can get in his car.

    "Sterling." He speaks behind me, and I turn around, getting a good look at him now. He's wearing a green, and blue patterned flannel, his hair perfectly kept. He wears tighter skinny jeans, and brown boots as well. His fingers are clad with rings, and he wears the same necklace that he's always got on as well as a pair of sunglasses dangling from the unbuttoned shirt. He looks incredible, but so simple at the same time.

    "Yes?" I ask, stopping in his driveway to look at him.

    "You look very pretty in that color... and just in general." He tells me.

    "Thank you... I could say the same to you." I nod my head, and he smiles, opening the car door for me. I get in and he closes it, walking around the front of the car to get in on the drivers side.

    "You could say the same about my outfit, or the color I'm wearing?" He asks.

    "Both I guess. Emerald green suits you well, it brings out your eyes." I tell him, and he gives a nod, and presses his lips together, which makes me sigh. "Okay I need to make a rule..." I tell him, and he turns to me, raising an eyebrow as he buckles his seatbelt.

    "A rule?" He asks, starting the car, and pulling back and out of the driveway.

    "Yes a rule. If you have a fact, or some useless bit of knowledge swirling around in your head I'm going to need you to just spill it. You don't have to fight an urge to keep it in, you don't need to tell yourself I don't care... I will care. I like your useless knowledge.. Plus I feel like your facts are like feelings. If you keep them in, and bottle them up then one day you're just going to explode with random facts, and then it'll be a mental overload, and I'll spontaneously combust." I tell him.

    "You can't spontaneously combust considering you're completely healthy. Your body only produces the chemical in which a human can combust when you're sick.. But you'd have to produce enough, and be around an open flame for it to-"

    "Okay I'm altering my rule. You can fact spill unless you're proving me wrong because I don't like it when people make me feel dumb." I point a finger at him, and he laughs.

    "Okay deal." He nods his head.

    "You were saying? There was a fact about the color green I think... It seemed like there were some wheels turning when I said emerald green." I bring us back on topic as he drives, and he nods his head.

    " Emerald green is actually a color that was sought after in the 1800's. Invented in England, it became all the rage, but the chemical that made the clothing so green was actually arsenic, which is poison. It caused all sorts of horrific tragedies to happen with the people wearing it until the government finally banned it. Everyone loved the color but didn't know the cost of wearing it... Obviously things have changed now though." He tells me, and he shrugs his shoulders.

    "Where the hell do you find this stuff out?" I ask.

    "I watched a youtube video on it." He shrugs his shoulders again.

    "Oh the things I would do to be able to go through your search history on google." I laugh.

    "Oh the things I would do to make sure than never ever happens." He laughs in response and I smile as we drive. He promised something farther away, in light that no one in this town would see me or recognize me. He wasn't lying. We pass by things I know, and start getting towards things I've never seen before in my entire life. As we drive he turns on the radio, and I look out the window. A silence washing over us, but not an unwelcome one. I think that's something we can both enjoy. A pretty silence between two people who want to escape the noise of the world.

    As he drives and the radio plays I hear a soft hum coming from the driver's seat, but I don't look at him as I hear him start. He's shy. He's the kind of person who will stop what he's doing if he knows someone is watching him. He's comfortable right now, comfortable enough to open his mouth and softly sing the words of the song on the radio. I listen, and hear the softness of his tone, and I know he said there's no way I can spontaneously combust but I think that's exactly what's going to happen right now. He can sing.. He's actually good. I go against what I said before, and turn my head towards him, hearing his singing cease.

    "You can sing.." I speak out.

    "Not really." He pushes it off, and moves his hand to the radio dial, turning it up. I want to stop his hand, but I don't. I let him move it away before I move my hand and turn it back down, keeping my hand over the dial so he won't move it again.

    "Yes really, you have a beautiful voice... I like hearing people sing because I can't sing.. You should sing more often.." I encourage him.

    "Well I'd love to but we're here Sterling Silver." He shrugs his shoulders, and I turn in front of me, looking at the building. The Original Pancake house sits in front of me, and I just stare. This was on my list, but it must just be a coincidence. No. There's no way this is a coincidence. He definitely stared at my bucket list for enough time to memorize it. He said he had a photographic memory, and I'd be dumb if I didn't believe him.

    "Harry..." I speak.

    "Yeeeessss?" He asks sweetly.

    "Did you-"

    "I did. You obviously wanted to go here at some point, even if the want has somewhat disappeared. I figured we should come considering it is farther away from our houses, and there's very little chance anyone will see us here." He confirms.

    "I can't.. Well I can't go in there." I tell him, and turn quickly.

    "Well sure you can, all you have to do is open the door, and then it's one foot after the other, and-"

    "No I mean, specifically that building I can't go in there Harry." I point to the pancake house, and he looks at me, analyzing the situation. He closes the car door, and turns back around to me, facing me head on.

    "Why can't you go in there?"  He asks, playing along with my antics.

    "Well.. What if it's completely disgusting? What if all my hopes and dreams are crushed? I wasn't actually going to go to this place. Mostly because I avoid things so I can avoid inevitable disappointment!" I tell him. "What if I hate it?" I ask, feeling defeated.

    "Then we'll take a trip every morning to every single pancake house in this state until we find one that meets your standards. I'm sure there's plenty to choose from." He smiles, and I shake my head. "Or you can lower your expectations." He smirks, and I roll my eyes.

    "Never going to happen. I am picky. I am a perfectionist. Question, random one, but a question.. Do you know how tall the highest peak on Mount Everest is? Just off the top of your head?" I ask, already knowing he does.

    "29,029 feet. Though, that's actually not the tallest mountain in the world. The tallest mountain in the world is Mauna Kea. It's 33,500." He tells me.

    "Great. Well my expectations are higher than that. You know the stars I love so much? The ones millions of light years away? Yeah, that's how high my expectations are." I warn him, feeling like he might start to panic or question himself because of my mindless venting.

    "Well then I guess we've got big shoes to fill. Come on." He nods his head, and I freeze, looking straight at him as he gets out of the car. Well... He certainly meets my expectations... I get out, despite my fear creeping up in my mind, and I walk around the front of the car to meet him. We walk in together, and he speaks to the nice hostess at the front. She takes us to a table, and we both sit down, looking at our menus. I look at the menu, and scrunch my nose.

    "How are they going to call themselves the original pancake house... but have waffles on the menu.. A disgrace."  I shake my head, and I look over my menu to see him smirking to himself.

    "Sterling.. If you have such high expectations... Tell me how frozen pancakes can meet them?" He asks, and I shake my head.

    "They are far from meeting my expectations on the perfect pancake. But my high expectations don't matter when you put my social anxiety, and impending fear of running into one of my old classmates on the table. Then I'll just forget I had expectations at all." I shrug.

    "So.. What happens when September rolls around then?" He asks, and I look over my menu.

    "We say goodbye to August I assume."

    "I'm serious.. You've been away from all of them since December from what you've told me... You'll have to face them again." He tells me.

    "Well I'm hoping that when I return to Mountainview that everyone will have forgotten I existed, and they'll ignore me and continue on with their senior year like I was never there in the first place. That or I was going to shave my head, and develop a new identity." I joke, and he laughs.

    "Sterling they didn't forget about you, trust me... I think your