"I'm too good to you."

"Hey love," I greeted Brendon as he stepped into my apartment.

"Wassup baby girl, you good? How you feelin? You seemed a lil upset the last time I talked to you," he asked with genuine concern on his face.

I sighed, "Yeah, I'm aight. Just the usual bullshit," I replied, hoping he didn't ask for details because I honestly don't even want to talk about it.

He sighed, "You gotta stop letting shit get to you and learn to stop giving a fuck. Promise you'll feel so much better."

"I do let shit go and then it comes back full force and I end up back where I started. Then muthafuckas wonder why I do the shit I do," I shook my head as I took my seat back on the couch.

Brendon took his place beside me as he propped my feet up in his lap. He was so affectionate around me and I loved it. He can bring me back down to 0 when I'm on 10 and I honestly love that about him. Something about him draws me to him. Maybe it's his caring, loving, yet tough mentality. He goes hard for any and everything he cares about.

My eyes widened as Brendon picked up the box that held my precious secret and opened out of curiosity.

"Hey, what's this .." he stopped mid sentence and lifted a small baggie of pure white. He frowned and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"What the fuck is this Mia?!" he barked making me flinch in fear.

"Brendon..." I started unsure of what I was going to say next.

"This watchu doing now Mia?" he questioned calmly.

His voice was calm, but the anger and hurt in his voice almost broke my heart into two pieces.

Tears began pooling out of my eyes, slowly. I stood before my man, embarrassed and vulnerable. I hated it. I hate when anyone has this much power over me. It makes me feel weak and unwanted. Like I'm just a small ant compared to everyone else in the world. I refuse. I'm standing my grand.

"I'm not gonna explain myself if you can't act civilized, Brendon. You're overreacting.." I spoke softly, but assertively so my point got across.

He clenched his jaw and huffed in frustration.

"Coke, Mia? Really? This is how you're dealing, well I say it's weak," he spat.

His words we're bullets that coursed through my heart so quickly. My sadness quickly turned into anger. How dare he judge me?

"You don't understand, Brendon. Please," I covered my face with my hands and wiped away my tears.

He shook his head, "Nope, I'm not even bout to sit here and listen to whatever bullshit excuse you're about to give me. I get that you been going through some shit, but everybody goes through shit. This is not the fucking answer!" he yelled at me as if I was his child.

I felt..low. Violated. Brendon is reading me like a book and laying it all out on the table and I can't handle it. His words provoked thoughts that made me uncomfortable. Honestly, coke is something that gives me serenity and I don't know how I would deal without it. Everybody has an addiction..

I sobbed silently, unsure of what to say or do next. He's done with me for sure and now I've fucked up another good thing in my life.

"You sure know how to scare them off, Mia," I thought to myself.

"Is this all of it?" Brendon asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence that filled my living room.

I slowly nodded, confused.

He grabbed the box that held my most prized possession and used his free hand to grab my wrist. He led us to the bathroom and ordered me to sit on the bathtub.

"Sit right there and don't even think about moving," he demanded.

I nodded.

"Look, Mia. It's no secret that you my shorty and I fuck with you hard. I care about you and stuck around through too much shit just for it to end like this. I care about you enough to want what's best. I don't care how much you'll hate me after this because I ain't going no fucking where. I'm here with you to stay. I love you, girl," he ranted on and on about.

Hearing the words I love you come out of his mouth at a time like this made me feel warm inside. I haven't felt a man's love since my daddy died and that's real. All of those other cornball ass niggas showed me nothing but fake love. 

I smiled softly, "I love you too, B," I spoke softly.

He emptied the contents of the box into the toilet, which was hard for me to watch. 

"Whatever it is that leads you to think that this is the way out, we gonna get to the bottom. We gonna get you some help and you gon' be good wit' me, Mia. That's on God right there. If I find out you got some more, Imma do the same thing and whoever selling it to you gon' get they muhfuckin' wig split," he replied sternly.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck in a sudden embrace.

"What did I do to

 deserve you? Huh?" I asked randomly.

Brendon is everything I could ever want in a man and he's here with me again as I shatter right in front of his eyes. He pieces me back together bit by bit every single time. I'm drawn to him for obvious and unknown reasons.

While his actions suddenly got me inspired, I cheered up. I'm genuinely happy with a man who would run across the world for me and more. Happiness comes and goes, but I actually have hope that B isn't going anywhere anytime soon. 

"We're all a little fucked up, Mia," he smiled softly making me smile as well.

"I love you, B. Seriously, I don't know where I'd be without you in my life these past few months," I say truthfully.

He kissed my forehead and pulled me into him.

"Just know I got you, Mia. Thru whatever."

I loved writing this chapter, I hope you guys enjoyed reading just as much :)

pls excuse mistakes ((not edited))

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