11: Demons

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"Take all these demons and go."

I try my hardest not to drive myself crazy, but my demons are constantly threatening my peace of mind. Often, I find myself wondering what my true purpose is in life. I got the fame and the money, but is that all life has to offer? I just wonder what's the point of trying anymore? No one notices my cries for love and affection that I crave so badly because I didn't get it as much I should've as a child. I just want true love. I pray to God every day that he shows me what love is supposed to feel like.

I've even considered therapy because I thought for a second that talking about my problems to a stranger could be a temporary solution to my pain. The thought left as quickly as it came. I mean..who wants to sit for a hour and listen to me complain about my mommy issues and my obvious insecurities. I can't even do it. Facing my problems has always been hard for me because I don't like knowing the truth. Well, the truth is that I'm a video vixen with a coke addiction. I'm a video girl that claims to be different from the rest when in reality I'm just like them. 

I'm damn good at playing my part though and no one can take that from me. 


Brendon called me this morning saying that he wanted to take me out, but I turned him down. Simply because after Dominic pulled his lil stunt, it turned me off. Dominic has proved to me that niggas officially ain't shit. I'd rather save myself the pain now. I can't get my heart shitted on again; I refuse to go through what I'm going through now ever again.

I have a shoot today which should keep my thoughts off of Dominic. I want to give him a chance, but I just can't allow it. 

As I slipped on my sweatpants that I was wearing today, I heard a knock at my door. I rolled my eyes and went to see who was knocking at my door. I don't remember inviting anyone over here today. Ramone and Rocki knows I'm pissed at them so I don't even know why they're here in the first place. 

I opened the door, "Ramone, I told your ass -," I looked up and instantly got quiet.

It wasn't Ramone or Malea. It was my mother whom I hadn't seen in almost a year. I called her the other day, but she hung up in my ear. 

"Mama?" I asked with a puzzled expression on my face. "What're you doing here?"

She rolled my eyes, "I'm here to see how you're doing. I told you don't call me unless I call you. I can't have people knowing my daughter is a video whore. Do you know how bad that would mess with my reputation at the firm?" she snickered smugly.

I sighed and shook my head, "Wow, you're never going to change. Bye ma, I have somewhere to be."

"Oh no," she chuckled, "I'm not going anywhere. In fact, I'll be staying with you for a few days because I have a conference on this side of town." 

"The hell you are! You can't show up at my  house and disrespect me by calling me a whore and think I'm going to let you stay here. Look, there's plenty of nice hotels around here that you can stay at -," she cut me off.

"I wasn't asking, I'm telling you. Now let me in!" she forced her way into my apartment causing me to roll my eyes.

"Are you fuckin' kidding me?!" I mumbled. 

"Where's your guest room," she asked with her suitcase in tow.

"First door on the right. Bathroom is right next to it. Listen, I have somewhere to go, but don't go through my shit. I'm not twelve years old anymore and if you disrespect my home, I will ask you to leave. I'm serious. I'll see you later," I quickly grabbed my bag and got the fuck up out of there as quickly as possible.


My video shoot went okay. Thoughts of my mother flooded my mind the whole time so I was a bit distracted. I was worrying the whole time about having to face her when I got home and now it's that time. 

I pulled up to my apartment building and killed my engine. I inhaled a deep breath and said a quick prayer. I prayed for strength and guidance because Lord knows how my mother is. She's judgmental and non supportive. She has hated me ever since I was a child and I have no idea why. 

I heard laughing as I approached my front door and scrunched my nose up in confusion. I stuck my key in the front door and walked inside to find my mother and Brendon having a casual conversation in my living room. What the fuck is going on here? How should I feel right now? Any normal person would be glad that their mother gets along with whoever they're fucking with at the moment, but nah. This shit is unacceptable and I'm not having it.

"Um, what the fuck is going on here?" I snapped.

My mother smiled, "Mia, you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend," she spoke in a cheery tone.

Rage. That's the word to describe how I feel right now.

"Brendon, I told you I didn't want to see you today," I spoke calmly, taking attention off my mother for a second. 

"I wanted to surprise you. What's up with you lately? When I took you out the other night, we was cool. We had a good time and now you on some other shit," he replied.

I sighed, "Look, it's a long story. I'll hit you up later. I need some time alone with my mother please."

He shook his head and got up and walked out.

My mother snickered, "I knew you couldn't keep a man. Look at you," she scoffed in disgust.

"Ma, what the fuck? Are you kidding me?" 

"Watch your damn mouth, Mia. I'm your mother and you will respect me."

I chuckled, "Respect? You want respect? Well you're looking in the wrong place because I stopped respecting you the first time you made me throw up my lunch in the toilet because I wasn't skinny enough for you. Respect? I stopped respecting you the moment you told me no man would ever want me. Respect? I stopped respecting you when you had my father cremated because you didn't want to throw him a funeral," I spat.

Bouts of rage flowed through my veins. I'm ready for anything she throws at me.

"You want to sit here and judge me, Mia?" she said calmly as she reapplied her lipstick, "Well look at you. Nothin', but a cheap video hoe who can't keep a man."

"And you're any better? Daddy was the only man who wanted your ass? You're nothing, but a bitter, workaholic, overly judgmental old woman. Do better, ma. You can say what you want, but my bank account is sitting on a lot of zeros. Meanwhile, you work your ass off so you can save for retirement. Please," I chuckled, "I can go into early retirement."

She looked at me and shook her head, "And you wonder why I never loved you. You're nothing, but a disappointment."

"Get the fuck out of my house. NOW!" I shouted in rage making her flinch a little.

"Mia, it's nine o'clock -, " I cut her off.

"I don't care. GET YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I shouted.

The tears threatened to spill from over my eyes, but I refused to let her see me weak. I'm washing my hands of her because I'm tired of her acting all high and mighty like she has never done anything wrong. I'm sick of this shit.

She came back out with her suitcase with an angry look on her face. 

"Don't say nothing else. Just get the hell out of my house and don't ever come back," I spoke in a disturbingly calm tone.

"My pleasure," she walked out the door. 


Seconds later, there was a knock at my door.  I opened it to find a Brendon with outstretched arms. Hesitant, but accepting; I stepped aside so he can come in. 

"Please don't tell me you heard of that," I sighed.


"Ssh," he hushed me, "Just let me be here for you."

Just like that, I shattered in his arms.

This chapter is crazy, but pay attention. A lot of stuff is coming to light and it's a lot longer. I had some time on my hands, so I finished it up. Pls excuse mistakes.

Mia has been through unspeakable things and if you think this is crazy, wait til you get further in this story. Rewriting this story was the best decision ever. 

Anyways, can I get some feedback. I need to know what you guys think of Mia, Brendon, Nic, etc. 

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Have a good day, y'all!





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