And again you were laying in bed, awake and unable to sleep.

Tiredness had you in a chokehold for hours now, but every time your eyes fell shut a flash of pictures forced them open again.

"Shit!", you gasped and rolled over to the side.

The open door came into your field of vision.

Connor wasn't sitting in the living room anymore, but in the kitchen at the table.

From the corner of your eyes you were able to see the word android written on his back.

The gentle blue light filled the corridor to the bedroom with a soft shimmer.

"Connor?", you asked in a soft voice.

He moved, tilting back far enough in his chair to meet your eyes from the distance.

The sight of this familiar face was enough to make you feel lighter, less pressure to stay awake.

"Yes?", he smiled softly.

"Would you mind spending some time with me? Just until I fall asleep."

"Sure."

In a soft manner he rose from his chair and walked over to the bed to take a seat at the edge.

"My sensors tell me you are getting restless.", he noted and started to stroke and strand of wet hair from your forehead. "Please take care of your metal health."

Sighing, you couldn't help but chuckle.

"My mental health is fine.", you assured him and leaned on your back to stare at the ceiling. "It's just trauma."

"I'd advice you to see a therapist."

You chuckled.

"I did. I'm fine."

"It still bothers you."

"And it will for the rest of my life. I'll never be the way I was again, Connor. But I learned to live with it. I'm fine now."

A hint of confusion appeared on his face. Frowning, Connor lay down in the spot next to you and crossed his hands on his chest.

"But... if it won't be the same, why try in the first place?", he asked and turned his head to look at you. "You will always be... traumatised."

A soft smile fought its way to your lips.

"True.", you turned to lay on the side.

This way it was easier to look him in the eyes.

He did look like him, like a spitting image of the old Connor, before everything had changed.

Gently, you reached out to let your fingers run over his cheek.

It felt soft, almost puffy.

"How do you live with it?", he asked curious and innocent.

"Hm. Talking helped a lot."

"Aren't you scared?"

"Not anymore. I was scared after... after he left. Then I was angry. At some point I begged him to come back even though it was impossible."

Connor's eyes wondered over your face. There was something hidden inside this brown, almost like real emotions.

"How do you feel now?", he asked. "Is it gone?"

Shaking your head, you turned back on your back and let out a deep sigh.

"I'm traumatised.", you said. "And I'll always be traumatised. But it doesn't affect me as much as it used to."

"So... humans can live with terrible things happening to them?"

"As an android, you will have to learn quickly that you'll have a lot of terrible things happen to you. People won't like you. Not all people, but some. And you will have to go on as well."

He frowned, concerned.

"Why?", he asked, his LED turning yellow.

"People fear what they don't know nor can explain. I never could explain why he did what he did. And he wasn't there to explain anymore. That's why I didn't like what happened... that's why- why it traumatised me so much. It just... didn't make any sense."

A deep sigh made your chest shiver.

It had been years and yet it still hurt to talk about him.

But talking to Connor was different than talking to a therapist. It felt like you were talking to the real one, as if you had a second chance of telling him everything you had felt over the years. You still regretted certain things, some that you had said but even more so the things you had kept to yourself.

Connor was still looking at you.

"May I ask a question?", his voice was careful, almost so soft that it seemed like he tried his very best to copy the human way of being gentle in a difficult situation. "I know you told me not to ask anymore, but my sensors tell me it would be good to be gentle with you."

Smiling, you couldn't help but shake your head.

He really was so innocent. But that was just one more thing you loved about the human Connor. He had never failed to make a person feel comfortable around him.

"I think I know what you want to ask.", you hummed in a low voice, already feeling the air getting stuck inside your throat. "Ask... but you might not get an answer. I never talked about it... My therapist knew because of the police, but I never talked about it."

For a moment he remained silent.

All that filled the silence was the sound of you breathing and the faint hint of the thirium pump working in his chest.

The silver light of the moon fell into the room, covering the two of you in a blanket of stardust and the kind of silence that told much more than a thousand words.

All of a sudden you had to think about how your heart had always beaten faster whenever being with Connor.

Even after many years together he had managed to make you feel excited.

It had been a deep seated kind of love that you had felt for him.

Strangely enough, you felt the same with this android. With this version of Connor.

"It was our anniversary.", you finally broke the silence. "He left that day."

It wasn't necessary for him to ask, after all, there was only one question that could possibly satisfy that shimmer inside his eyes.

"Was it the first?", Connor asked, eyes glued to the ceiling.

"No. The fifth. We were Highschool sweethearts."

"You must have loved him a lot."

A wave of sadness washed over you.

"I did.", you smiled sadly. "But he... well... I suppose it wasn't enough."