Thirty-Three

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"What did you do?", you asked Connor while leaning against the kitchen table, arms crossed. "How did you fool her?"

He lowered his gaze.

"I didn't.", Connor admitted. "I corrupted her."

Your heart stopped. At loss for words you just stood there and stared at him.

The look on his face was a regretful one, unsure and almost frightened that he had made a mistake that would stain the relationship the two of you had.

A tense silence spread in the room.

"Do you even realise how dangerous this is?!", you finally asked after a while. "If Kamski finds out you corrupted one of his favourite androids... What if she tells on you?"

"She won't.", he immediately said and jumped from the chair to grab you by the shoulders and pull you close. "We talked for a moment. She understood me. I understood her. She feels for Elijah the way I feel for you."

Hesitantly, you eyed him for a moment.

"Connor?", you asked carefully.

"Yes?", he gifted you a soft smile.

"What exactly... do you feel for me?"

His lips parted. A soft breath left his mouth as his shoulders lowered and his eyes scammed your face as if his deepest believes had been crushed right in front of him.

"You don't feel the same.", he said in a disappointed manner. "You don't... you don't know how I feel?"

Something inside your chest pulled together.

It wasn't right to agree with him.

It wasn't right to give him hope for something that was a crime.

And yet.

You couldn't help but lean in and press your forehead against his.

"I do, Connor.", you said in a heartbreaking voice, knowing that there was no happy end to this. "I do feel the same."

With a relived smile, Connor wrapped his arms around you.

"I love you.", he gasped and pressed a longing kiss to your lips.

But you hesitated to return it.

"You know that this is dangerous?", you asked and leaned against his shoulder to take in the familiar scent of his hair.

His eyes lowered again.

"The law is against us."

"And we shouldn't challenge it."

"But...", he sighed and pulled a face. "I want to be with you. I... I want to love you the way he loved you."

As he said it, your heart skipped a beat.

It hurt to hear him say it like it was his responsibility.

It hurt to know that he was trying to live up to a man who hadn't done any wrong.

He wanted to be Connor, not because it was his own wish, but because it was a goal you had given him to follow.

Maybe he was still more android than you had expected him to be. And more than he wanted to be.

For the past few days he had done nothing but try and become more human. That alone was enough to mark him a deviant. But the fact that he saw it as a mission, a task, indicated that a bit of his original program was still in place.

It was only a matter of time until those two components would start to collide with each other and cause problems that would not only worsen things for you but could push Connor into some sort of existential crisis.

You had to fix the issue as quickly as possible.

Yet again, you weren't sure if that would be possible without damaging his actual personality. Maybe you would be forced to reset him entirely.

And neither you nor him would want that.

A deep sigh made your chest shake as you closed your eyes and buried your face in the crotch of his neck. With a deep breath you inhaled his scent before being able to glance up again to meet his eyes.

"Connor...", you mumbled, feeling guilty that you were about to guilt trip him into following your lead. "Don't ever leave me like he did. Promise me."

He lowered his chin to the top of your head and placed a gentle kiss on your (H/C) hair.

"I will be better than him.", he said in such a soft voice that it crushed you to pieces. "I promise."

Your lips started to tremble.

"Connor... Connor, you must promise me that you will stop doing so much on your own. I know you want to live and explore and learn. But... it just... Right now it will do more harm than good. You could be destroyed. I could go to jail. We don't want that, do we? You don't want to be shut down?"

It left rotten to manipulate him like this. It made you feel terrible and unworthy of his trust.

But in that moment it was the only possible option that could stop him from running into the arms of Kamski.

A death through lightning would have been a better one than this.

Connor shifted in your touch.

A sound escaped him. It was something between a displeased hum and an understanding sigh.

"Fine.", he finally said and placed another kiss on your head. "I promise."

"Good...", you managed to force a smile to your face, but it ridden with guilt and sadness. "Now let's go to bed. I'm tried... This day... it was tiring... So much..."

Almost immediately, your legs gave in. A wave of exhaustion crashed into you and made the world before your eyes dance and tear apart.

As your eyes fell shut, Connor caught you in his arms.

"Don't worry.", he said and kissed the tip of your nose while carrying you to the bedroom. "I'll be here. I will watch you. And I will be by your side when you wake up."

Halfway passed out already, you managed to open your eyes a crack wide.

"Do you... do you promise?", you asked with tears in the corners of your eyes. "The last time you said that... I woke up alone."

He stopped in front of the bed.

His eyes wandered over your face, so tender and full of love.

"I will do anything to stay by your side.", he said and lowered you. "That's what I was made for."


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