Chapter 52: Rose

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Becca

Buttery rays of sunlight shone in through the uncovered window, meeting my eyes as they slowly opened and readjusted to the brightness then scanned the room around me. I was facing a dark blue wall adorned with a window and a desk nestled into the corner. Peering onto the floor, I noted the clothes scattered across the room -- my clothes.

I tugged the blanket up to my chin when I realized I was naked.

Moments from last night filtered into my mind. Long, hungry kisses. The new sensation of skin on skin. Brett's mouth, warm and inviting. Limbs tangled together. Sweat coated skin.

I shifted slowly, turning away from the wall and rolling onto my other side, wincing briefly at the slight soreness between my legs that was well forgotten as my eyes met Brett's sleeping form beside me.

He was laying on his stomach, cheek to the bed and head facing me with his arms tucked beneath the pillow. The blanket hung low on his waist, exposing his entire bare back that seemed to glow a golden tan against the white sheets with the warm sun hitting him, dancing over his hair that hung messily over his peaceful face.

Even in sleep, he still managed to make my breath catch.

My eyes traveled from his head down to his waist where the rest of him lay covered by the blanket. My mind pulled up images from last night -- images of what lay beneath those covers. I couldn't deny the heat that rose to my cheeks.

Last night was ... nothing like I expected it to be. Brett had been kind, gentle, soft. Once the initial pain had passed and I had swallowed my own embarrassment, making love to Brett had been, well, everything. Every movement, every touch, every kiss, it was all driven by sheer love.

Even now, I expected to feel different. Like I would awaken and be a new version of myself after losing my virginity. Yet I felt exactly the same. The only difference was now when I glanced at Brett, I didn't simply love him with my whole heart, but with my body as well.

When I told him last night that my heart was his, I meant every word of it. And I knew, deep down, that he would protect it for as long as it was his.

Forever. The word popped into my mind and I couldn't deny the ring it had.

My eyes roamed back up Brett's body, towards his face as a glimpse of red upon his skin caught my attention. Lifting my head from the pillow, I peered at the delicate tattoo on Brett's shoulder. A green stem traveled up his shoulder blade, ending in delicate red petals that shined against his skin.

I couldn't look away from its beautiful simplicity. A rose etched permanently into Brett's skin, as if toying with the innate nature of flowers to die. Yet this one would do no such thing. I smiled at the image, at the irony, at the delicate flower drawn into the skin of a man who was anything but.

With the preoccupation of last night, the darkness, with Brett's position on top of me ... The rose went unnoticed. But now, now that I saw it? I tried and failed to peel my eyes away from its redness, as if the flower was calling me.

Slowly, as to not wake him, I stretched out my arm across the minimal distance between us and carefully laid a finger on Brett's tattoo, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath my own. Gently, my fingers traced the curve of the petals, the line of the stem and the arch of the leaves.

I don't know how long I stared at the rose, but when my eyes met Brett's they were watching me, wide awake.

"Mornin', my love," he murmured, his voice deeper than usual in its sleep state, making my toes curl. My hand flattened instantly on his skin as he smiled softly, his eyes quickly roaming down the bare skin of my chest. I hadn't even realized the blanket had fallen down my stomach, exposing me. Quickly, I tugged it back up as Brett chuckled.

"Morning," I replied, sounding breathless. My hand remained on Brett's back. As if we both realized it at the same time, he gently lifted his cheek off the pillow to look over his right shoulder, spotting my finger hovering over his tattoo.

"Do you like it?" He asked, once again meeting his gaze to mine.

"It's beautiful," I confessed, the awe not foreign in my voice, "I never noticed it last night."

Brett paused, a smug smirk decorating his face. "Well, you were a little preoccupied," he teased, his eyes clouding over as if he too were thinking about last night.

I ignored the heat rising all over my body and asked, "When did you get this?" Brett closed his eyes momentarily, his breath hitching as I ran a finger down his shoulder, over the stem of the rose.

"Last summer," he murmured softly. I watched the way the sunlight danced across his bare skin as I pondered his words. Last summer, when his entire life had changed.

"After your parents..." I trailed off. His eyebrows knitted together as he nodded, opening his eyes slowly to meet mine. I ran my hand across his now tense shoulders reassuringly. "Why?" I asked suddenly. "Why a rose?"

Slowly, Brett turned onto his side, propping his elbow up on the bed and resting his head on his knuckles, watching me carefully. Reaching out with his free hand, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I tried to ignore the way his slight touch made my body react and instead focus on his face.

He smiled gently before beginning. "After realizing the type of man my father was --  after seeing my mother wither away in front of me," he paused, taking a deep breath. I reached up idly and grabbed his hand, that was now running through my hair, and held it firmly. "I wanted something to remind me that love still exists, Becca. That my parents fate didn't have to be mine."

I lifted Brett's hand to my cheek and kissed it lightly. He never ceased to amaze me. His hope, his strength... It never faltered. Not once. Even when he had every right to give up on love, he remained hopeful. And then, we found each other, confirming everything he chose to believe in -- that love still does exist.

Brett's eyes watched my mouth longingly as I kissed his hand once more. "To you, the rose symbolizes love," I simply stated, not a question.

"The rose is a symbol for love, yes," Brett said, watching me intently as he spoke, "It represents love that won't fade away. It represents you," he tugged my hand gently towards his body, placing it over his own heart with his hand on top. "It represents me... It represents us, Becca. And the fact that through everything, I was able to find you. To find love."

I blinked away the tears coating my eyes, words escaping me for a moment. All of my weaknesses, my own doubts and troubles, were Brett's strengths. Being with him passed along those strengths to me -- his ability to hope, to love. Two things I had always lacked and deemed worthless. Yet, here I was, sharing a bed and a heart with the man who somehow managed to bring out the best in me.

"I want one, too," I announced suddenly, biting my lip as Brett's hand stroked lazy circles along my bare shoulders. He chuckled at the demand in my voice.

"You want a rose? I'll buy you a hundred, Becs." And the look in his face, the love in his eyes, told me he would do just that if I were to only ask.

I stared down at his fingers on my shoulder, his fingers that now knew and had felt every inch of my body. Blinking slowly, I willed my own thoughts back on track.

"I want a permanent rose, Brett. One that won't die. Like yours," I added, nodding towards the tattoo on his shoulder.

His eyes widened quickly as he registered what I was asking, a lovely, proud smile on his face. His fingers briefly stopped stroking my skin as he said, "You want a tattoo of a rose?" I nodded.

"A matching one," I added for clarification.

Brett simply watched me, his eyes scanning over my face as if he expected me to laugh any second and announce that I was kidding. But I had never been so serious before. Seeming satisfied that I was indeed not joking, Brett's fingers began circling my skin again, making their way down my arm in lazy lines.

"Was the sex truly that good that you already want matching tattoos, Becca?" I felt my mouth drop open at Brett's words. That smug look on his face ... His eyes traveling down my body, lingering on the flimsy blanket hiding the rest of it. He chuckled deeply and I rolled my eyes.

"How would I know? It's not like I have anything to compare it to," I teased. Brett's throaty laugh rumbled through me, his hand lingering over the blanket as if daring me to ask him to pull it away.

His eyes this morning matched the colour of the cloudless sky visible through the window. Light blue, so different from the burning blaze they were last night.

"And you never will," he said simply, leaning in to kiss the hollow at the base of my neck, his lips lingering a moment longer than necessary.

I thought about that for a heartbeat. Brett was the only guy I had ever been with. First boyfriend, first kiss, first love, first time ... First everything. And I wanted it to remain like that. I didn't want anyone else. My heart and body were solely my own and his.

"And what about you," I said shyly, nestling my cheek into the fluffy pillow as Brett's eyes snapped away from my body and met mine, eyebrows raised. I groaned, wishing he knew what I was asking so I wouldn't actually have to ask it. "Last night wasn't your first time," I added, willing him to understand what I meant.

Brett mouth twitched up at the corner, his eyes widening in understanding. "Are you asking me if I enjoyed myself?" He asked with a devilish grin. He knew that was exactly what I was asking, but Brett was purposely trying to make me squirm.

"Did you?" I poked his chest, my finger touching his hard, warm skin.

"It's never been, nor felt, like that before, Becca. Never."

"Really?" I asked again, disbelief hanging on that one word. Last night ... I hadn't exactly done much. For the most part I laid there as Brett, well, he did all the work. I guess I needed that reassurance that even with my lack of practice and skill, it was still enjoyable for him.

"Really," Brett repeated, his face soft as he watched me. Leaning in ever so slowly, he kissed my cheek. "With you it always feels like the first time all over, Becca. Always."

I smiled, chewing on my lip nervously. "So it was good?" Brett sighed, flicking my nose gently before he responded.

"It was fucking amazing."

Despite myself and my creeping embarrassment, I laughed. Loudly. Brett chuckled against my neck, his breath blowing into my ear as he kissed it softly. I shivered at his touch. After last night, it was like my body had a new way of reacting to him. Every touch, every kiss, every breath, I was aware of all of it, even more so than before.

"The tattoo," I mentioned, quickly clearing my throat to steer us both back on track.

"What about it, love?" Brett murmured once more into my skin. I was now laying flat on my back, as Brett's lips moved along the base of my neck and making it very, very hard for me to form a coherent thought. His right hand slid beneath the covers, resting on the plain of my stomach as his fingers danced across my bare skin.

"I'd like one too,"  I managed to choke out.

I wanted the symbol on my skin permanently. A visible representation of the person I had become over the past few months -- the person that loving Brett had shaped me into.

Brett tilted his head up painfully slow, as if prying his mouth away from my skin was impossible, and looked into my eyes, searching between the two.

"You'd really want that. A tattoo that matches my own?" His fingers stroked down my jaw, tracing the shape of my lips as I nodded.

"Yes," I said, my voice hoarse. "Like you said, the rose represents us, Brett. Represents our love and how, despite our parent's fate, we still found each other."

Brett's eyes twinkled as they watched me, absorbing my every word.

I knew it sounded crazy -- getting a tattoo to match the one of the man I was in love with. And maybe it was crazy. Maybe loving Brett made me more susceptible to take risks, to live without caution and restraint. Either way, this tattoo was something I wanted, perhaps even needed. Because no matter what transpired between Brett and I, that rose would always be a reminder of the person I had become while loving him -- a better version of myself.

"You are truly remarkable." Brett's lips brushed against my own in the lightest of touches before he continued, "If you want your own rose, baby, I'll make the appointment. But that tattoo is permanent, Becca. You have to be certain."

"I've never been more certain about anything other than the love I have for you, Brett. And like your rose tattoo, I know that love won't die." I kissed the corner of his mouth quickly. "Book the appointment, please."

And with that, Brett grinned, the sun reflecting off his skin into an image of sheer beauty.

I decided to leave out the slight fact that my mother would possibly kill me for this.

"Okay," was all he said before he turned onto his back and swiftly pulled me on top of him. My body stiffened as I felt Brett, a very naked Brett, beneath me.

"Brett! You're naked!" I shrieked, jumping off of him quickly back to my side of the bed and pulling the blanket up around myself.

Brett rolled onto his side lazily, giving me an incredulous look.

"You didn't complain about my nakedness last night," he pointed out, poking my stomach gently through the blanket.

"Last night was," I scrambled to find the right word, "different," I concluded, rolling my eyes at myself. Brett simply leaned in and pressed his lips to mine briefly before sitting upright and stretching his arms over his head. My eyes instantly watched the way the muscles in his arms moved, the way the hard lines of his chest gleamed in the sunlight. His eyes met mine and he winked knowingly.

"You'll get used to it eventually, Becca." When I raised my eyebrows in response, he clarified, "The nakedness. Until then, your shyness is pretty fucking adorable so I won't complain."

I reached out and smacked his arm. He winced. We both knew he was pretending for my benefit that my touch hurt him.

"Where are you going?"

Brett leaned down quickly and kissed my forehead. "To shower. I would ask you to join me but I know better," he laughed to himself as he stood up next to the bed. Completely naked. I willed my eyes to remain on his face and not travel anywhere else.

Brett was so comfortable in his own skin, appearing completely at ease as he strolled around the bed and picked up our clothes thrown messily on the floor. He gave me a flirty smile as he picked up my bra, twirling it around his finger by the strap as he wiggled his eyebrows at me. If there had been anything other than a lamp on the nightstand to my left, I would have thrown it at him.

As if he could read my mind, Brett chuckled and placed my clothes neatly on his desk before slipping on a pair of boxers and striding over to the bed. His hand smoothed down my hair as he watched me silently for a moment.

"I'll use the shower down the hall. You can use mine," he said, gesturing to the door on the wall in front of his bed.

Before I could respond, my stomach rumbled loudly, announcing my own hunger. I smiled meekly as Brett chuckled. I could practically hear the flirty comment flowing through his mind as I took in the smug smile on his face. Something about how I was bound to have worked up an appetite after last night.

"I'll make us something to eat, too. Come to the kitchen when you're done," was all Brett said before brushing a quick kiss to my lips and strolling to the door. With his hand on the knob, he peered back at me quickly. "Sure you don't want to save water and shower together?"

I rolled my eyes, my heart summersaulting in my chest. "Next time," I promised. And meant it.

As if Brett knew it too, he smiled triumphantly and walked through the open door with a new spring in his step.

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The rose has finally arrived! For those who have read the other version of this by myself on the Episode app, you know the rose was used very differently, but I wanted to use its symbolism in a different way in this version :)

Thoughts on this chapter? Let me hear them all!

Lastly, sorry for the long wait for this update. I began reading the A Court of Thorns and Roses series last week and have literally spent every waking moment with my nose buried in that book. I've read nearly the entire series in less than a week. Lol, if you read those books and enjoyed them, let me know. No spoilers please! I haven't finished the last book yet.

Until next time! xo

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