A/N: You're in for a treat.

Did you think I was confident?

Real question is, am I confident?

Answer: On occasion, I will be the boss ass bitch people expect me to be, but in reality, I'm just a really good actor. 

I'm such a good actor, that I faked not liking my rival.

Though, that acting gig is too long for me to keep going but I can't break character, no matter what the director says. 

Now, l hope that little analogy makes sense, because it's completely accurate. 

I am an actor. 

I've been one for years.

And today is another day I must continue putting on the fake hatred. He does make me want to pull his and my own hair out but that is because he drives me insane. I can't even explain the sanity that I lose everyday because of how much I see him. 

It's now Friday, and Ellie, Sam, Colby and I are now going to our first college frat party. I got my outfit all set, very simple and cute.

It took me the whole morning to get ready. Which meant it took from eleven this morning, to two in the afternoon. Ellie helped me pick this outfit while she's wearing this.

Honestly she has better taste than me but I mean, it's Ellie. What do you expect.

"Hey Ash, you ready to paaaartay?" Ellie says, shimmying over to me in my room. 

I strike a cheesy pose, "You knooow it!" 

"Awesome, we totally look like college students, nobody will know," Ellie grins, plopping down on my bed. 

"Yeah, thanks to Sam & Colby we are going, El," I laugh, brushing my hair for the quadrillionth time. 

"Oh, they should be here any minute," She says, checking her phone. 

"What's the plan? It's only six and the party isn't til eight, right?" I question.

"Well, I was thinking we could go grab some fast food before we head off, maybe we could all finally go get a Krispy Kreme and a pizza at the grove?" Ellie says.

"Oooh, I'm so down," I reply, licking my lips. 

"Same," She murmurs. She looks down, longingly at her hands and sincerely asks, "Are we seriously okay, dude? Like, that was so wrong and disgusting of me to talk with Colby like that the other night, I want to forget it so badly-"

"YES. Please, let's not ever talk about it again, because girl, I love you but you need to save the bedroom talk for the fucking bedroom," I loudly say, cutting her off. 

"Okay, okay, good cause' I love you too much, boo," She slightly smiles, whilst twirling her thumbs. 

I  smile and turn around to look into the mirror, oh how I wish talking to Colby was that easy. 

Then speaking of Colby, we hear a few knocks at the door. Ellie gets up and skips over to the door. I put my brush down and follow her. She opens it and I look over her shoulder to see two extremely good looking boys. Boy oh boy.

They weren't dressed fancy but casual and stylish enough. It was really cute how they contrast too, which really fits their personalities coincidentally. Well, actually it was probably no coincidence, Colby jokes that he's an emo, and white is one of Sam's favorite colors. 

"Woah, you guys look good, " Sam says, stepping forth into the apartment. 

Ellie and I both say our thank yous and compliment the guys before all of us leave the complex. Sam and Ellie start a conversation, leaving Colby and I out behind them.

Which was the most awkwardest thing ever. 

I'm still pissed off at him and still have the tendency to cry when he's around. 

We walk side by side and he didn't dare look at me. We got into the elevator and it was a quiet ride. If Colby was talking, perhaps saying something witty or sexual, this ride may have been more interesting. 

But nope.

Just silence. 

"So... whose car are we taking..." Sam quietly asks, breaking the silence. Ellie and I smile and we agreed to just take mine because I had the nicest one. 

"No offense, Sam," I laugh, getting out the elevator and into the garage. I unlock the car and we all get in. 

"Whatever, I mean, your BMW is super fine," Sam laughs too, getting in passenger, Ellie and Colby in the back. 

I drive to the Grove and the car ride was a bit more lively, Colby spoke a few times so now I know he isn't completely disabled.

"KRISPY KREEEEME!" Sam shouts, rushing out the car and into the shop. 

"SAMMY!" I yell to him, "WAIT UP." I turn around to see Colby slowly getting out the car and Ellie trying to hurry him. 

I whisper to Ellie, "Is he okay?" 

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," Colby intrudes, rolling his eyes and meeting to see Sam in the bakery. 

"Damn," I murmur, a little annoyed. 

"He's just not feeling too well..." Ellie says.

"Sure..." I reply. 

/////

"I am the happiest when I have a chocolate doughnut in my mouth." 

Sam was just too ecstatic whenever he eats at Krispy Kreme. I believe we just ruined our dinner, since we all ate way too many delicious pastries. 

"I'm stuffed, I forgot how amazing Krispy Kreme was..." Colby mumbles, patting his stomach. 

"Babe, how could you forget?" Ellie raises an eyebrow.

"True," He chuckles. I notice how Colby was getting along a little more openly. 

Finally. 

This kid is more annoying when he's in your presence and is not talking. Which is fucking strange.

"I have no regrets for ruining dinner, I don't even care about pizza anymore," I sigh, sitting back in my seat. 

Sam lets out a low burp as a response to everyone. We all laugh at his, somewhat humor. 

"Nice one, dude," Colby chuckles, fist-bumping Sam.

"Thanks, that doughnut really deserved that worthy burp," Sam replies.

"Guys are gross," Ellie rolls her eyes.

"Sure we are babe, gotta get used to it," Colby laughs, placing an arm around her.

Ellie playfully smacks him and checks her phone.

I swear that was the first time he said babe to her in public. It makes the pit in my stomach swell. Not a good feeling.  

"Yo, it's definitely time to leave, it's already eight. I mean like, I have no problem being fashionably late though, " She flips her hair and huffs. 

"Aight, let's bounce," I say, standing up and grabbing my bag. 

We all leave the shop with a small box of four doughnuts, one for each of us, and get back into the car. Sam might've been secretly eating his already since he was the one holding it for us. 

I drive over to UCLA, and head to the frat house. 

Time for a night to remember.

/////

Friday, 8:20 P.M.

"Holy crap, the music is so loud!" Sam yells.

"WHAT?" All three of us shout.

"I SAID, THE MUSIC IS SO LOUD!" Sam yells again. 

"OHHH," We all nod. The four of us try to huddle as close as we can to hear each other. 

"Before we do anything, we gotta find the girl from the supermarket I saw, I gotta thank her and let her meet you two," Ellie says to Sam and Colby. The guys both nod their heads but honestly, I bet that supermarket girl didn't expect me to even be here or exist so why keep hanging with them? I think I might just go let loose with hot UCLA frat boys. I'll see everyone later I bet, anyways.

"Do I have to come with you guys to meet some girls I take no interest in?" I roll my eyes. 

Ellie contemplates it for a second, "I mean, I guess, no, but you should come jus-"

"OK BYE!" I say, exiting our circle and walking into the depths of the party. I did not want to be reminded of what I couldn't have. 

A love life.

So might as well party my sorrows away. 

I stumble onto the dance floor and feel the touch of many bodies crowding around and jumping to the loud music. The DJ pumps up some remixes and I bounce to the fresh beat blaring. I haven't heard from Sam, Colby or Ellie at all.

Friday, 10:26 P.M.

I was slowly getting too turnt for my own good, I took about two shots and could feel my head pound to the tempo of the music. I also met some cool people, some hot frat guys and random dancing girl groups, which, I started to join. I was cracking up all my best moves too, some of those hot frat guys started talking to me about how I was so sexy and shit, but like, they all seemed a little too drunk to even notice how hideous I do actually look.

Friday, 11:40 P.M. 

After those two shots, I've decided that I am not getting drunk tonight. Like, I don't want to regret something I don't even remember. I don't even drink! Like, this was my first time illegally drinking and it's a bad idea. Did you know this?

Because well, it is. 

Saturday, 12:14 A.M.

I had a drink in one hand, and a man in the other, that was really getting steamy with me. Like, I was sweating. Also, the drink was sprite. I didn't want the dude I was grinding on to know I wasn't drunk. 

"Yo, you're a great dancerrrr," The guy slurs.

"You ain't so bad yourself!" I giggle to him. 

"Wanna do something?" He smirks, placing his hands roughly on my ass.

Why is this fool touching me like this. 

Oh shit, what am I going to get myself into? Unintentional pregnancy? Ashlyn, end this session.

"Ummm..." I murmur.

The guy lightly taps my shoulder, "Huh? I can't hear you, I'm too busy throwing up."

I quickly express a confused emotion, "What, you're not throwing up."

"I'm about to, it was nice dancing with you, lady," The guy hiccups and wobbles away to go hurl into a nearby trashcan. 

"Gross..." I mumble under my breath. Yep, no more guys tonight. His breath smelled like strong Vodka anyways, and I am not getting drunk by just touching his lips. Yeah, it's not possible, but who would touch a drunk's lips anyways? Unless you're actually stupid enough to get drunk, never mind.

Saturday, 12: 37 A.M

I glance down at my phone, whoa it's fucking late as hell. Good thing I don't have a curfew anymore. Screw it, I'm going to get another shot. As I walk over to the makeshift bar, I sit at one of the stools and check my text messages. 

(8) Unread Messages from Colby Brock

What, why the hell is Brock texting me? I open his messages and read.

C: Hey.

C: Where r u. 

C: I think I lost Sam

C: Ellie is gone too

C: Ashlyn??

C: HELLO

C: Y r u not answering

C: fucking text me back

I roll my eyes. What is he? My dad? I bet he's just too lonely since Sam and Ellie just ditched him. Like, I hope Ellie goes and fucks someone else so they could break up. 

Shit, no I didn't mean that. I'm getting drunk. Goddammit.  

I simply just text back.

A: Takin shots @ the bar

A: dad. im rollin my eyes at u

I sip another shot after putting my phone away but as I try to stand up, a strong grip tightens around my wrist and waist.

A husky, older type of guy, voices into my ear. I could smell this stranger's many tequilas that he just downed. 

"Hey, sexy, ya look kinda lonely..."

"I'm fine, thanks," I deadpan. 

"Oh, c'mon, a little company won't hurt," He says with a raspy tone. 

"No, I'm good," I reply, attempting to push him away.

"Baby, let's get freaky," He creepily murmurs, kissing my earlobe.

"I'm GOOD!" I shout, roughly shoving him away but consequently falling off the high bar stool.

People begin to stare a little as I am sprawled on the cold floor.

"Aw, well you didn't have to cause a scene, babe," The guy says, clapping his hands. 

I quickly get to my feet. "Don't call me babe, jackass."

"Look, if you wanted to play naughty, you should've just said so," His towering figure seems to be toppling over and he slyly puts a hand under my shirt. 

"Cut the fuck out!" I squirm out and try to walk away. He ruggedly grabs my wrist and twists it a little. I wince slightly. 

"I have a boyfriend!" I screech. I really wanted to go all taekwondoe on his ass but there was no room, everywhere I stood was crowded, and I couldn't cause a scene here because too many drunkies would cause trouble on me and jeopardize the whole party. Meaning, cops, cops, and arrests. I'm too young, and intelligent to get sentenced to jail!

"Where's your boyfriend at?" He snarls.

"Uhhh..."

"Because I don't see your boyfriend anywhere, babe," He slowly hauls me towards him but then another set of hands comes to my rescue and pushes the guy away.

"She said she has a boyfriend, ya piece of garbage," A familiar voice says. I look up to see Colby, holding my hand and verbally fighting with the drunk, who is probably, a rapist. 

I literally thought, if it weren't for Colby, I could've gotten raped, yo. 

"Who are you, pal," The drunk rapist asks, poking him hard in the chest.

"Uh..., her boyfriend, pal," Colby confidently says, poking him hard back. I look at Colby in disbelief, did he just lie for me that he was my boyfriend or am I just now suddenly drunk? 

"Uh, Colby, what are you doing?" I ask, with confusion. Colby just glares down at me to stop talking.

"Looks like your girlfriend is unsure if you're her boyfriend, buddy," The guy cockily says. 

"No, my girlfriend is just... drunk," Colby wittily replies. 

The guy crosses his arms, "Uh huh... is he your boyfriend?" He now asks me.

"Ummm," I mumble.

He looks at Colby and raises an eyebrow, "If she's your girlfriend, prove it."

Colby's gaze goes directly to my lips and he leans in, before I put my hands out and slap his mouth. 

"NO! NOT AGAIN!" I screech. I untangle our fingers and run out the room.

Saturday, 12:58 A.M.

I make my way to the sidewalk, right outside the frat house.

Another sidewalk. 

Another down-hill night. 

I glance at my phone and it was almost one o'clock in the morning. Fuck, if I want to go home, I better find Ellie, Sam, and even Colby. I bury my face into my hands. Flashbacks of the last night Colby kissed me were rolling in and it was absolute torture. 

He was just about to kiss me again.

And what sucks this time is that he was helping me. 

Helping me not get raped!

Then I pushed him away because I couldn't spare one kiss to pull it off, and now I just left him with a rapist. 

What if the drunken rapist rapes him!

No, that would never happen.

I think I'm too drunk to function. 

Is that Colby walking over to me or am I just hallucinating?

Nope, it's Colby. No hallucination. 

Dammit. 

"Ashlyn! Why the hell would you run out! I almost just got my ass-whooped but thanks to Sam, we shooed him away," Colby irks.

I roll my eyes and stand up to face him. I try to find the right words to yell but all I could muffle was, "You, you asshole!"

"Asshole?" He yells questioningly, "Why am I an asshole! I just helped save you from-"

"From getting raped!"

He looks at me funny, "Uh, okay maybe from rape but I don't thin-"

"That's not the point! I hate you, Colby Brock," I stammer.

"Great job pointing the obvious..." He murmurs. "Did you not want me to help?"

"I didn't want you to kiss me," I sigh.

"I didn't kiss you," He blankly responds.

"You did. That night," I mumble. 

He angrily points, "We agreed to never talk about that again." 

"You screwed me up, Brock," I sadly say, looking down. 

"ME? Screwed up Ashlyn Neil? Ashlyn Neil doesn't get screwed up."

"Colby Brock is afraid of nobody."

He looks at me funny, little does he know that I'm quoting myself from the Uber ride with Daniel. 

"That's not true," He says with confusion.

"And Ashlyn Neil, being able to not get screwed up, isn't true either," I say, emotionless.

"What are we doing, Ash," Colby sighs, "How am I screwing you up."

"Kissing me was a mistake on your part. Kissing you back was a mistake on my part," I softly reply.

"I'd kiss you again, Neil," He says. I look up into his ocean blue eyes and instantly get captivated. 

"You wouldn't kiss me again, Brock. You hate me because I am a bitch," I whisper.

"I'll kiss you when you're not a bitch," He replies.

"Then I guess you'll never kiss me."

He stares into my eyes and flickers his sight all over my face, examining all the crevices and features of mine. Colby steps closer to me and I can feel his hot breath steam over my upper lip and nose. 

"Screw it," He says, filling the gap between us as he crashes his lips once again to mine. 

He grabs my face, and his thumbs are forcefully holding my cheek. I felt nothing but pure bliss. 

Why does this keep happening? 

He makes me lose my mind and I love it every time. 

I place my hands on his wrists to hold his hands in place. He begins to move his lips with mine in a forceful sync that was oh so passionate that I never thought was possible. Colby's touch was rough, but his lips were as soft as the clouds I was flying through. He caresses my cheek with his palm and gives all the aggression and lust that he must've been feeling into this kiss. I equally gave it my all in this moment.

Slowly, we pull away, gazing into each other's eyes and still clutching on each other's features. 

I look up at him and bite my lip from kissing him again. We didn't break eye contact at any point. This can't continuously happen, as much as I wanted it to.

"You make me go crazy," I whisper. He brings his forehead to mine and we keep the position. It felt like we were connecting by just this simple contact.

"I've wanted to do that again, ever since that night," He whispers, "But, we hate each other."

I hate liking