fifty-seven.

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REFER TO CHAPTER 4

Rival.

Such a haunting word.

/rīvəl/ n.

a person or thing competing with another for the same objective or for superiority in the same field of activity.

/////

I think about Colby and I and I think...

what was the
same objective or same field of activity?

Perhaps, intelligence?

Popularity?

Life?

Such big topics for two small people in a sea of 7.5 billion other individuals.

My comprehension between us is foreign.

The outside world sought us to be like that title.

Oh, look at us now.

/////

"Do you hate him?"

"No," She responds.

As Ellie and I still sit closely together on her bed, we continue to pick up where we left off.

I'm still in her room and as the day turns into dusk, the moon waits to arise.

"Will you still stay here in LA with me?" I ask Ellie.

She shakes her head no, "I have my own university to attend back in Kansas."

I nod, forgetting she had to leave once it was the end of the summer.

"Why? Do you think you can't be in this apartment alone?" She asks, grinning.

I smile, "I don't think I can live down the hall to two idiots."

"You can handle those two, you're in love with one of them," She responds.

"Are you really okay with that, though?" I ask, shyly.

She wraps an arm around my shoulder, "I am."

"That was a short response, El Parker," I huff, raising an eyebrow.

She throws her arms jokingly in defense, "If you're in love with the boy, be my fucking guess because he obviously chose you!"

"Girl, are your emotions stable?" I question with half joking concern. She's taking things a bit better than I expected.

"Meh, still heartbroken. I need a distraction. Ellie Parker ain't no pussy though."

I laugh, "I wonder what they're doing right now, do you think they're okay?"

She shrugs, resting her head on my shoulder. "To be honest Ash, I couldn't care less. I'm so single right now, I just want to go out and ride penny boards like the first time we went to Venice Beach at sunset."

"Want to?" I say, turning my head to her.

"Can we?" She asks, perking up.

"I mean... let's go," I grin.

She jumps out of bed and dashes into the living room.

"Where are you going?" I call out after her.

"I'M LOOKING FOR THE PENNY BOARDS!"

/////

Déjà vu.

Just like the first week here.

Windows down, sunglasses on, backpacks filled with beach towels and spare change.

Ellie drives my BMW down the freeway to Venice, blasting Congratulations by Post Malone.

The wind pasts through, sending gusts to blow our hairs in different directions. It feels like breaths of relief streaming through, carrying our worries away. We're singing at the top of our lUngs, throwing our hands in the air, all the way to Venice.

The venture there ended as we parked in the same place as last time, and rode our penny boards down to the boardwalk of the beach.

We arrive at the sand, stripping our tops off to bikinis.

Slipping off the flip flops and tiptoeing into the waves, we walked in the water for hours to cleanse our sins as if we were in the Ganges.

The sun did set, scattering the bright, vivid colors of the tropics in its place.

Shades of pinks, blends of oranges and yellows, and hues of purple cascade across the sky again.

Ellie and I sit on the beach again and lay on the same towels we did the first week when coming here.

Last time, I remember wanting to have a boyfriend and getting lo-key jealous of Ellie and Colby's relationship.

God, Colby Brock fucking twists me up into knots.

Ellie pulls up her sunglasses and looks at me.

"Hey Ash."

"Sup," I say, turning to her.

"Are you and Colby going to become a thing now?"

My eyes widen, "That was basically what I asked you last time we were here."

She chuckles, "Just reliving moments again."

"So you will?" Ellie winks.

"I don't know. Do you think he's ready to be in a relationship with me?" I ponder, worried.

She shrugs, "Yeah he is, but the question is... are you?"

Am I?

"Damn, it'd be perfect timing if Colby were to text me right now," I joke.

Ellie laughs, "Yeah right."

"What would you do if he did?"

"Ha, I'd actually start clapping," Ellie smiles.

I nod, chuckling. I feel my stomach rumble quietly.

"I'm hungry, wanna grab In N Out?" I ask.

Ellie grabs her towel and glances down at her phone before packing it all in her backpack.

She glances up from the screen and nods, "Yeah, and can we get it on the way back home. I'm ready to just chill and watch movies."

I clap my hands, "Frick yea, movie night?"

"Heck yea, my emotional heart would love some rom coms," She laughs, walking up to the boardwalk.

We skate on our penny boards down the wooden road to the parking lot. The wheels clicking smoothly over the bumpy dark wood. The sun had basically set and the stars shone above us as we rode our way, maneuvering through people.

Ellie and I skate together, smiling and laughing at jokes we made over this past summer. I managed to take some selfies of us too, commemorating our moment. We're two Kansas kids who were caught in some drama. Here we are, escaping from the eye of the storm.

In this moment, I am content like I was the first week I was here.

The things I did these past months this summer, has made me realize how limited our time really is.

You must cherish every last huge and tiny moment in your life.

My summer flew by so quickly.

We're more than half way done with this season and soon in a few weeks, I'm attending UCLA.

U C fucking LA.

This is my home for the next 4 years or more, depending if I still want to study here!

Now, why I'm telling you to cherish EVERYTHING is because everything only happens once at one time.

You're not going to catch your best friend and her boyfriend almost have sex in your bed everyday.

Or vandalize property for the first time ever, especially the Hollywood sign.

Probably not going to get hit by a car almost in a parking lot by your sister's boyfriend.

Or perhaps fall in love with your rival.

It's not going to happen everyday forever.

All the dumb stuff that I got mad at back those following months were memories I can now laugh at.

Even Sam's whole fiasco with his injury.

I'm not going to laugh at that, but hold the memory in my heart because I learned I should always be there for my friends.

However, I should always stick to my instinct.

You are your number one priority.

I realize that now.

As I penny board my way to the parking lot where my car is parked, I realize I should have made myself the number one priority in my life.

I shouldn't have cared about what others thought of me for liking my nemesis.

I shouldn't have held myself back from telling my best friend I loved her boyfriend.

I should have let myself fall for my rival.

I shouldn't and should have done a lot of things, but that was the past.

I'll do what's right for me from now on, because I love myself and finding self love is one of the hardest things to do for people.

But trust me, you'll thank yourself for loving yourself in the end.

Ellie and I drive into the night with music blaring our eardrums. We ate In N Out like Californians do, and I might as well get more used to it as I'll be living here for awhile longer.

"Dude, I'm going to miss you so much when you leave," I say to Ellie, eating my cheeseburger.

Ellie turns down the music a little so we can talk.

"Well duh you are, I'm going to miss you even more though as I'm going to be in freaking Kansas," She laughs. "California's so cool. The scenery, the lifestyle, the people... everything's so my forte."

"You may fit in with California," I giggle, "-But you'll be perfect back home in Kansas. You'll love KU and I'll fucking visit you in there. Then you can spend another summer with me once school's out."

She grins widely, "Oh how I'm already longing for another summer."

"Kansas isn't THAT bad," I retort.

"It's bad when you're not there," She whines, fake crying.

I awe, hugging her side as she drives. She holds my arm that's wrapped around her, with one hand.

A minuscule moment I'll treasure forever.

"Alright, get your hands off me, I'm driving. Unless you want to die, be my guess," She sarcastically says, ruining the moment.

I roll my eyes, "Fine fine, crabby pants."

"DON'T DISTRACT THE DRIVER," She exclaims.

I put my arms up in surrender, "Aight, jeez."

We laugh together as she turns up the radio again.

The car pulls up into the apartment's building parking garage.

Ellie and I get out of the car, ready for some movie marathons.

"C'mon El, reach for my hand because it's held out for you!" I sing. "Let's relive old times again," I say as she walks away from the car with her phone in her hand.

She looks up and shoves her phone back into her pocket.

"Comin'," She cheerily says, reaching for my hand.

We penny board out, hand in hand down the lot.

Just fits of giggles were heard, echoing through the concrete garage. As we reach the elevator at the end of the garage, Ellie remembers something suddenly.

"Dude, I forgot my backpack in the car."

"Okay, go get it, I'll just wait for you here," I reply.

She shakes her head, "Bro, go get ready to play the movie, I'll just be a second."

I oblige, "Alright then I'll just meet you up."

"Kay, brb!" She grins, penny boarding back to the car.

I turn my back to press the elevator button.

The door opens and I escort my self in. Once it closed, I tapped my apartment's floor and waited for it to take me to my home for the next couple years.

God, it's so crazy that this is my life now.

Just imagining coming back home from University everyday to this amazing apartment.

There's so many things in store for the future, honestly I can't wait for what's going to happen.

It's unpredictable, and it's a scary thing.

But if I learned something this past summer, it's expect the unexpected.

Cliche, I know I'm sorry but it's true.

Sam's injury was unexpected.

Kai being my sister's boyfriend was unexpect-

The elevator opens, snapping me out from my thoughts. I walk out from the elevator and into the hallway.

And another unexpected thing happened.

I told you to expect the unexpected.

"Oh hey neighbor, didn't expect to see you here."

Yep, this is some sick déjà vu.

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FUCK ME ITS 3 AM AND MIC DROP REMIX IS IN AN HOUR AHAAAAAA. okay sorry i had such writers block for this chapter. I love you for supporting this book, i try and read all my lovely comments:) Thanks for making my day, some of ya'll are hilarious.

SO LIKE GOOD GOOD NEWZ. I am OUT OF MY FUCKING CAST FUCK YEAH. and even better news. IM NOT GETTING SURGERY WOOOO. Before, i would have probably but i didnt so i went to the cast. then THE FUCKING CAST WORKED ANDD NO SURGERY FOR ME WOOOOHOOO IM NO CRIP ANYMORE. Except i have a boot to protect my foot for 4 weeks so still no sport:( but AYE IM NOT A CRIP SO ITS CHILL. Im kinda known for being a crip and a living meme so i wonder what will ppl think as im able to be walking on my own?? Agh, im still gunna be called crippled ha i know it whatever. YA KNOW WHAT ONE OF MY BEST GUY FRIENDS DID (hes my ex bf lol but we bffs so its chill) HE GETS OUR FRIEND MICHAEL TO COME UP TO ME AND SAY HAHA UR DISABLED and walks fucking away and i ask michael where he is so he points me to his direction and he was watching us. I make eye contact with him and i go UR A BITCH and left cuz he is a bitch LMAOOOO. i luv my fwends.

ALSO HAPPY THANKSGIVING IM SO THANKFUL FOR ALL OF YOU. EVEN THO ITS TECHNICALLY 3:06 AM AND ITS NOT THANKSGIVING ANYMORE BUT WHATEVER LOVE YOU DUDES<3<3<3