The next week passed by slowly. Everything at school seemed to be wrapping up for the year and all my classes were really boring. Levi was away on a surf tournament for the first half of the week, so biology was made even more torturous without him, and I refused to sit with Jonah and Scarlett, not that they cared, which meant I ended up sitting alone. I'd had a minor panic attack before one class, feeling as if I was stuck back in the life I had at my old school. I was thankful the bathrooms were empty at the time. I'd also freaked out when I woke in the night, having had a nightmare, and knocked my glass of water off my bedside table, smashing it to bits. Dad had come racing in, apparently not having gone to bed yet, and cleaned everything up, including my scratched hand, meanwhile I cried and apologised profusely. I hated how concerned I made everyone in my family. It took ages after each panic attack for them to stop treating me like some fragile piece of china, which wasn't the worst, but it was more the inconsistency that bothered me. In addition to that, each panic attack made Scarlett's words spiral even more, my subconscious reminding me I was taking away the attention from my brothers and just making everyone's lives more difficult. Even after such a good weekend, my week still managed to be less than average.

I was sitting in the lounge with Ryan and River as they versed each other on some racing game. I'd begged and begged for a turn, but neither of them were willing to give up their controller, even after I'd used the 'but I'm your favourite sibling' line on each of them. Finally, after what felt like ages, the agreed I could have a turn at versing each of them, but then I just had to watch. Just as I grabbed the controller, rather hurriedly, out of Ryan's hands, Dad came in.

"Ash, a word."

"Now? I'm just about to have my turn." I frowned.

"That will have to wait." He wasn't smiling and seemed unimpressed. I unwillingly handed the controller back to Ryan, who looked between me and Dad with confusion, then followed him into his office.

"You're scaring me." I whispered to mum, who was already in there.

"We've just spoken to your maths teacher." She responded, with sympathetic eyes. A slight weight lifted off my chest, but a different kind of anxiety overcame me.

"You failed your test, Ashlyn." Dad used my full name.

"What?" I looked between the two of them, feeling as if this was some kind of sick joke.

"Why didn't you ask for help if you were struggling? You told me you were understanding the content." Dad asked.

"I didn't need help! I did all the revision sheets, and I was getting most of it right!" I was telling the truth; I really had been understanding the content and I'd worked hard before it.

"Then what happened?"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, frustrated now.

"Calm down, honey." Mum eyed me carefully.

"Your teacher is offering for you to do a makeup test late next week, and-"

"I don't need to do a makeup test." I snapped, cutting Dad off. "I didn't fail."

"Ashlyn." He glared at me with the most serious face and tone I'd ever seen him use.

"I'm not doing the test again." I kept my voice level and my body stiff. I didn't believe anyone who told me I'd failed; it just wasn't possible. I'd answered every question the way we'd been taught and finished with enough time to check all my answers. It didn't make sense.

"Fine." Dad surprised me. "But until the grade improves, you go to school, you come home. No skatepark, no swimming, no track." My jaw dropped so fast I almost thought I'd broken it.

"The school has a very strict policy about grades and sport participation." Mum explained. I could tell she wasn't enjoying this either.

"You can also do an hour of maths each day with either me, Nick, Ryan or River."

"This is so unfair. I didn't fail!"

"If you'd come for help in the first place, you wouldn't be in this position."
"I told you already; I didn't need help." My voice cracked, so before I burst into tears in front of them, I left. Mum called out after me, but I ignored her and hurried to my own room. My bedroom didn't have a lock on the door, but my en suite bathroom did, so I grabbed Teddy and my pillow, then hurried inside, locking the door behind me.

I sat down, hugging Teddy, and cried for what felt like ages. I was upset with myself for failing the test, but also for yelling and being so rude to my parents. I was frustrated and annoyed and really was feeling a whole plethora of emotions and just didn't know what to do. I hadn't even told mum about Levi's invite for me to go and watch him at a local surf tournament next weekend. I knew already that was off the cards, if not because I failed my test, but because of the way I acted. Before I knew it, I was out cold from the exhaustion of crying and thinking.

~

"Ash?" Someone pounded on the bathroom door, clearly not for the first time judging by the exasperation in their voice.

"Go away." I said softly. I heard mumbling on the other side of the door before Ryan spoke.

"Ash, let me in."

"No."

"It's just me, no one else is here." He reasoned. I thought about it, then slowly got up and unlocked it. "Want to go for a drive?" I nodded.

"I'll help you with maths." Ryan said. He'd tried speaking to me for the first part of our drive, but I didn't respond, so he let us sit in silence, until we pulled up in a carpark. "The conversation was exactly quiet." He clarified when I stared at him.

"I don't know how it happened." I whispered, unclicking my seatbelt, and hugging my legs to my chest.

"It's not the end of the world."

"Feels it." Ryan chuckled softly. "I was so horrible to mum and dad. I yelled at them."

"They understand. You've never seen a screaming match between one of us and Dad. Your tiny outburst was nothing compared to some fights I've had with him."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I promise." He smiled. "Come with me." He got out of the car, coming round to my side to open my door, then led me down a sandy path.

I looked up as the path opened up and revealed a body of gentle water.

"It's pretty."

"I like coming here." Ryan nodded.

We walked to the end of a small jetty and sat on the edge, watching as two ducks dived for anything they could catch. It was peaceful.

"What else is bothering you?" He asked, after a while. I didn't say anything at first, contemplating whether I wanted to burden him with the weight of Scarlett's words. In the end, it was hers that stopped me.

"Nothing."

"You can tell me, Ash." He frowned. I just shook my head and looked back out at the water. I knew I could trust him, but I also know it would make my situation with Jonah even worse and I didn't want to create any more conflict between not only me and him, but between him and the rest of my brothers. That was, of course, if anyone was to even believe me in the first place. "So, what's going on with you and that boy?"
"Who?" I asked, grateful for the change of subject but confused at his choice of topic.

"That kid who came for your birthday. What was his name again?"

"Levi."

"Nah, that doesn't sound right." When I looked over at my brother, he was smirking. "So?"

"So, what?"

"Do you like him?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you." I felt my face turning red and looked away.

"So, you want to tell me what's bothering you instead?" He challenged.

"Nope. Let's just not talk."

"You see, baby, I'm not very good at that. I like talking."

"Why do you call me baby?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Because you are one. You're my baby sister."

"But you don't call Austin baby, and he's your baby brother."

"Stop trying to change the subject. I want to know if you like this Levi kid."

"No, you stop trying to change the subject. I'm asking a question." He sighed but gave in.

"It's different with you. In my head, you're younger than Austin."

"Because I wasn't around or because I'm stupid?"

"Hey," he grabbed my shoulder and forced me to turn and look at him. "You're not stupid."

"I can't do so much stuff that the rest of you can do just fine! I can't even complete a test at school without making a complete mess!" I didn't know why I was experiencing such a rollercoaster of emotions.

"Who's putting all this in your head, Ash? Where's all this coming from?" He searched my face for any explanation at all. "Is someone bothering you at school?" I shook my head and leaned into his chest, unable to form the words to lie to him. He hugged me and even let Teddy nuzzle his way in between the two of us.

"Can we go home?"