When Max was seven, his father took off. When Max was ten, his mom overdosed for the first time. When he was twelve, he learned how to pay the bills and take care of Isa. When Max was sixteen, his mother was arrested.

The charges were irrelevant. They stemmed from alcohol and drugs, they had something to do with selling illegal drugs. Max didn't really care. All he knew was that while he was helping Isa with her spelling homework, his mother was being booked at the police station and Officer Martin would be knocking on their door soon enough. When that happened, Alison had just texted, asking him to come over. How could he explain to the girl he was addicted to that he needed to deal with the repercussions of his mother's own issues with addiction? So he ignored her that night, something he regretted ever since.

After Alison and Brady went missing, there was not much that Max was sure of in this world except for two things: One, Max was never going to drink or do drugs again and two, he should have been there for Alison.

They went hand in hand. Max was adamantly against drugs and alcohol. His mother was proof enough of the dangers and it drove him crazy that Alison did not see it his way.

Fiona, Alison's mother, had let Alison have her first sip of wine when she was thirteen. For as long as Max could remember, Alison was always allowed full access to her parents' liquor cabinet, and by extension drugs. Alison's mother had pills in her medicine cabinet for "back pain" and weed for her "headaches" which Alison had no issue abusing.

It worried Max, it was different when they were kids. Max had always seen through Alison's tough girl act. He knew why she really loved skateboarding: it was the risk. She enjoyed the adrenaline, and if breaking her arm on the half pipe got her parents' attention, well that was just an added bonus for her. Max knew that Alison was self-destructive, she always had been.

Alison was a flame burning a bit too bright for the world. Kate changed that though. If Max was the thing that kept Ali's flame from getting too big, Kate was the opposite. She was the fuel. Alison was already a steady flame of rage and unresolved childhood trauma, Kate only intensified every bad part of Alison.

Bringing her into a world of drugs, partying, and danger that Max could not do much to stop. Although he tried.

"Why do you even care, Max?" Alison had asked him once when she woke up after a particularly strong rager. "Worry about Isa, or yourself. I'm not worth the trouble."

Max crossed the room and closed the distance between them. He held her face in between his hands.

"How could I not care, Ali?" he whispered. "I love you."

Alison peered up at him with those green eyes he was so fond of. "I don't even know what that means," she murmured.

"It means that I worry about you. It means that I want you to be careful. It means that I'm not giving up on you. Ali, I promise I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving."

Alison had looked up at him with such curiosity. Almost as if the idea that someone could love her was completely unfathomable to her.

"You love me?" she repeated.

"Until the day I die," he said assuredly.

Alison had never said it back. Max had never pressured her to. He knew that Alison's parents had not been forthcoming with their emotions around her, and in exchange, neither had Alison.

Now, as Max aimlessly drove around on his motorcycle, his thoughts were filled with what those words would have sounded like coming from her.

His thoughts turned dark with the thought of her saying those three words to someone else, in specific: Brady. All Max could do was hope that the rumors were just that, rumors. However, he had yet to find a reason not to believe it, as far as Max knew, Alison and Brady had hooked up.

It was killing him. He wanted to hate Alison and Brady. He wanted to be so angry that he could finally stop loving her, but as he found himself going along the street to her house, he could not help but reminisce about all the joy that Alison brought into his life.

That was when he heard the sirens. His heart started racing as he watched police cars turning onto her street, not again. Please God, not her. Not Alison.

***

Hayden had just left for NYU and Brady was home alone for the first time in a long time while his parents were dropping his brother off, and Brady was grateful.

He needed to think about what his brother had told him before they said goodbye.

Hayden had forced himself into Brady's room and blocked the exit.

"We need to talk," he said.

Brady was already in a foul mood. Olivia, whom Brady had just become friends with, had just called him to inform her that she could no longer be seen around him. Apparently, some girls from school had convinced her to leave him alone. Brady could imagine who, either way, it had annoyed him and he was in no mood to deal with his brother.

"Look, I know you won't talk to me," he said. "And I'm sorry I didn't learn ASL," Hayden apologized. "But we need to have a conversation before I go to NYU."

Brady raised an eyebrow.

"Ali and I did go to California together, and I know you're upset about it," Hayden said. "But nothing happened, not really anyway. We kissed once, but we're just friends."

Brady stared at his brother curiously. Finally, he just shrugged. Brady didn't care, not really anyway. Alison and him had not spoken for a while now. He had wanted to reach out but he was waiting for her to say something. After all, she was the one who had something to apologize for.

"I just wanted you to know that I don't blame you," Hayden continued. "I know you think that I gave something up when you and Alison disappeared. I know you think that I wanted to stay behind because of some guilt thing, but it's not true. I came home because I wanted to. I'm going to NYU because I wanted to. It was my choice and it always has been, so stop blaming yourself."

Brady sent his brother a glowering look.

Hayden came over to him and sighed.

"You can hate me, but stop fighting with Ali. She needs a friend, and so do you."

Brady looked away for a moment but then slowly calmed down. He looked back over at his brother.

"I'll miss you, Brady," Hayden said with a small smile.

Before he could think about it too much, Brady threw his arms around his brother and hugged him. Hayden was surprised at first, but hugged him back.

Now, with Hayden gone, Brady was staring at his phone. should he reach out to her? Did he try to make amends? Could Brady really be the bigger person? He didn't want to be. It was easier to isolate himself than try to make amends.

Finally, he decided to head over to her house. It would be easier to communicate in person anyway.

Or so he thought. When Brady pulled up to her house, he saw police cars in the driveway. This was not good.