(excuse all mistakes.)

Compton, California 📍

Vadah Avani Parker | Buddha

"People babies be so ugly." Hazel scrunched up her face, looking down at her phone.

"Let me see." A'sean looked there. They looked at each other with a knowing look on their faces and bust out laughing. "That baby ugly as hell."

"Y'all are going to hell." I shook my head.

"Buddha, you can't tell me this damn baby not ugly."

She showed me the picture of the baby. He was a newborn, of course he looked a little... Off.

That's how all newborns looked.

"He's precious." I waved her off.

"Precious my ass. You too nice."

"Your babies are gonna come out ugly." I laughed.

"Mfs babies be coming out ugly cause they ugly. Ian ugly. My babies gon be perfectly fine." A'sean laughed.

"Okay?" Hazel grasped his hand as they laughed.

We were at school in 4th period. We had a substitute and as always, A'sean skipped in here.

When I got to class, I seen Hazel and walked past her, to my seat. I was so socially awkward and I didn't wanna initiate conversation for her to just diss me.

Like, 'bitch ion fuck witchu. fuck out my face'

Why would she do that? I don't even know.

I was just always overthinking something.

"Lucci disrespectful as fuck. Point blank period."

"Ion see how he was wrong. She should've put a lil smirking emoji and called it a day. Reginae hurt as fuck." Some boy that was sitting next to us said waved her off.

"Hell no. Disrespect is disrespect. He should respect the fact that his girl don't appreciate him doing stuff like that. Period."

"What'd he do?" I asked confused. I didn't really keep up with things like that.

"Girl so basically he commented under a video that Boosie posted of some random sucking on a cucumber. Reginae replied to his comment and you already know the shade room reposted it with they messy ass."

"So now its this big ole thing with them all over the internet."

"When are they not all over the damn internet?" A'sean rolled his eyes. "I'm sick of Reginae and Listerine."

"You irritating." She laughed.

"Wow." I shook my head. "Meek Mill would never."

"Girl shut the fuck uppp about himmm." They bust out laughing.

"I just love everything about him." I rolled my eyes, throwing my head back. "He so raw to me."

"Meek an old head. I like Devante."

"Bitch really?!" A'sean bust out laughing.

"Devante who? Swing? From Jodeci? Girl his old ass." I laughed my ugly ass laugh.

"Fuck y'all my man still fine."

"That nigga look strung outttt." A'sean laughed. "Boosie fine as fuck."

"Whattttt." Hazel dragged. "That's my nigga."

"Any aht." He pointed. "My nigga."

"Boy whatever." She waved him off.

"I wanna take pictures." He stood up. He was so handsome.

why all the gay ones be fine?

"Me too. Y'all wanna leave?" Hazel asked.

"Hell yea. Come on." Sean put his folder in his bookbag and stood up.

"Wait." I furrowed my eyebrows. "What about the sub."

"Girl please. That old ass lady. What she gone do? Chase us?" He waved me off.

I stood up skeptically and slipped one of my bookbag straps on my shoulder.

I was scared as hell. I never skipped class before. I guess that's because I never really had a reason to.

We started inching our way to the door and of course my dumb ass was all the way in the back.

"Hey! You can't leave! I'm gonna call security!"

"Girl fuck you and them security guards." A'sean walked out the door.

"You so stupid A'sean." Hazel laughed.

"Y'all what if we get caught."

"Girl we is not." Sean straight faced me. "Quit being so worrisome."

"Stop." Hazel smacked his chest. "You wanna go back to class Buddha? If you that shook up, I'll go back with you."

"Shit, we can't go back na." Sean laughed. "Bitch done called security."

"Then we'll find somewhere to go. What you wanna do babygirl?"

"Can we go get my sister?"

"Who Nay? For sure. Who class she in?"

"Ms.Griffin I think. Let me text her."

3/4 💚👯: you're in ms.griffin's class right?

4/4 🖤: Ya why

3/4 💚👯: come outside.

"Yeah that's where she is."

Once we made it over to the 700 hallway, she was already standing outside leaning against the wall.

"Girl you standing in plain sight like it's not cameras all around."

"Fuck these camera's. Wassup? What happened?" She looked at me.

"We're skipping." I smiled proudly.

"Girl I- what the hell?" She bust out laughing. "I'm sorry. What the hell you doing skipping?"

"She with us." Sean spoke up. "She scared out her mind though."

"Awh Buddha." She pinched my cheek. "You growing up on me."

"Move." I scrunched up my face and swatted her hand away. "So where are we gonna go now?"

"We just finna walk around."

"Walk around where? Who? Girl you crazy than a bitch, this big ass school. I got bad knees."

"Treneé shut up." I laughed. She was always talking about her knee replacement.

"I mean we really got 20 minutes left of school." Hazel shrugged.

"So let's do what we came out here for in the first place. Pictures." Sean handed me his phone.

"What am I, a photographer?" I fixed my bookbag strap and snapped pictures of him.

"A'sean you so handsome." Nay smiled. He looked up from his shoe and smiled back.

"Thank yo-" His sentence got cut short when we heard keys jingle.

"Excuse me. What class are y'all supposed to be in?"

I stood still, with the phone in my hand in shock. "Oh my Go—"

"Bitch run!" Nay grabbed my hand.

We were running quickly down the long hallway to the stairwell. 

"Why are we running? Why didn't we just tell her what cl—"

"Vadah shutup!" I frowned, continuing to run behind them. I looked back to see the lady wasn't even behind us anymore.

We were downstairs, walking towards the 300 hallway. The hallway closet to the front of the school.

"She probably took the stairs. Come on we finna go to Ms.Adams class. That bitch let everybody in. Imma call the school board on her ass."

We walked to her class with me continuously looking back.

I had never been in trouble at school before.

"Un un. I'm not allowing anybody in here without a pass." She instantly said as she opened the door.

"Bi— Ms.Adams why you onnat with us?" Nay mugged her.

"I can't allow anyone in here without a pass, I'm sorry."

"Ms we got kicked out."

"Who kicked you all out?"

"Ms.Brown." They said a random teacher's name.

"Where did she tell you all to go?"

"Ughhh! You doing too much. We got a couple of minutes left in school why you won't just let us in?" A'sean scrunched up his face. His mouth was so reckless, he just didn't care.

"This'll be the last time." She nodded and opened the door.

"Girl whatever." He pushed past her and sat at a chair in the front of the class.

"Why do we have to sit here?" I frowned. I hated sitting in the front.

I had to sit in the back, in a corner so I could watch everyone. I hated when people sat behind me.

"It's the closest to the door." They shrugged.

Sighing, I ran my hand over my hair. "What are you guys doing after school?"

"Shit we going to Emma's like we always do. Get some food, then probably just go to my house and go to sleep." Hazel shrugged.

"I'm taking my ass straight home. I'm probably finna fall asleep in daddy big ass bed."

"Awhhh, I haven't slept in there in forever." My Dad's bed was huge and sat on a platform. A California king all to himself. It was always cold and it was easy to fall asleep. Sometimes, my sisters and I would sleep in there while he was at work.

"Kamiri's coming to get me."

"Ka who?

"KB."

"Okok y'all on first name basis and shit. What y'all bout to do?" She smirked making me mug her.

"Why you tryna be funny?"

She bust out laughing. "I'm just asking."

"I don't know what we're gonna do. We're probably just gonna chill."

"We're just gonna chill." She mocked me. "Mhm. You was chilling last time and got yo lil box ate."

My mouth dropped in shock when she said that. "Treneé."

"What?" She was dead laughing like something was funny.

"I'm never telling you anything ever again." I pouted.

"Awwwhh, Buddha you got yo pussy ate?" A'sean smiled while Hazel pushed my shoulder.

"Bitch you graduated, call you a big fish."

"Don't use my man's lyrics." I frowned.

"Girl Meek Mill ugly ass." Nay frowned.

"He is not ugly. Don't play."

It got quiet for a minute before I spoke up again.

"I'm thinking about telling Daddy."

"Telling Daddy what? About KB?"

"No." I shook my head quickly. "I was gonna tell him that I— you know. Got head."

"Girl huh?" Hazel bucked her eyes. "You crazy? My Daddy a killllll me."

"Nawl our ol boy ain't like that. With him, communication is key. He feel like we should be able to come and talk to him about anything."

"Don't matter what it is. If we in trouble, we know we can call our dad and he gone come thru. He'll be sane about any situation, as long as we come to him first."

"Yeah. My dad is like my bestfriend. I can literally tell him anything. Well really, I already do. As long as it doesn't regard my period. He gets weirded out by that." I laughed making Nay agree.

"When we get into any type of trouble, we think 'damn I gotta call my daddy'. Rather than, 'my daddy's gonna kill me'." I shrugged.

"Psshhhh, I wish!" A'sean exclaimed. "Ion even know my daddy." We bust out laughing.

"Y'all got it good. I love my daddy but he so overfuckingprotective." Hazel frowned.

"As any father would be. Mine is like that sometimes."

"Nawl Hazel daddy do the extreme! This bitch got her first phone on her 17th birthday."

imagine walking around with no phone till the eleventh grade.

"How the hell you did it? I woulda been done kicked my daddy ass."

"You know when the school was giving out them phones for students who ain't have no WiFi?"

We nodded our heads. "Noooo, she had one of them?"

"Yup. Sis was walking round with an Alcatel for a lil minute but it was better than no phone."

The bell rung making everyone stand up and exit the classroom in a hurry.

"So how long y'all been friends?"

"Shit, a good 10 years." They said in unison before busting out laughing, smiling at each other. "Since the second grade."

"Damnnnn. That's longer than me and Daja. We only 7 years."

"Sometimes it don't really matter the years. A bitch you've known for years can switch on you quick. As long as the bitch real." Hazel bumped A'sean with her hip.

"Period."

"I don't know what I'd do without this bitch here." He plucked her eyebrow. "She know too much we can't never stop being friends. Don't you change on me bitch."

"Tssss, don't play. We for life!"

That made me frown a little bit. Not in a hating way. More in a sad way. It's like I'd never have a friend of my own.

"Awwwhh, I love y'all little friendship." Nay smiled.

"Thank youu."

"Alright, well Daja coming home with me and KB picking you up. Make sure you text me, and keep your location on. Hazel, A'sean it was nice skipping with y'all. See y'all later. Love you Sissy pooh."

"Alright Nay." They waved as I watched her walk to Daja.

"Hey Buddha!" She waved obnoxiously.

She was always so dang on loud.

"Hey Daja."

"You want us to walk you out the gate or you good?" Sean asked me.

"Oh no I'm okay, you guys can go. Thanks."

"No problem. Text us." They waved and they started walking away too.

I felt myself getting sad. Everywhere I looked, everybody had somebody. Whether they were bestfriends, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends.

Everybody had a friend.

That's all I wanted was a friend.

Someone I can lean on whenever. Somebody I can go and talk to whenever. Even when I had nothing to talk about, we were just talking about stupid shit. Like why the sky was blue. Just talking just to talk.

Like yeah I had my sisters, but they had their own bestfriends. I didn't wanna be a burden on anyone. I had my daddy too but dang. He had his own friends also.

For as long as I could remember. I never had friends.

I wasn't weird.

I wasn't ugly.

I wasn't rude. I was nice as hell.

So maybe It wasn't me who was the problem...

It was them. 

People.

Fuck people. Ian need them to be my friend anyways the fuck.

Beep Beep!

My thoughts were cut short when a horn beeped. I almost got hit by a car, but frowned when I realized it was Kamiri's car.

He popped the trunk making me walk to the back and throw my book bag in there.

After slamming it back, I got in the passenger seat and mugged him.

"Why would you do that?"

"Why the fuck you ain't watching what you doing? You crossing a damn street. Now what if somebody hit yo simple ass?"

"Then I'd be on my way to the hospital right now."

He looked over at me and mugged me. "You so fucking mouthy."

"I don't care." I shrugged.

He chuckled, like something was funny. "Gimme kiss."

I loved when he said that. Like boy if I knew how to suck dick I would be dropping neck right now.

"Headassss. No."

"No? Girl I'll snatch these bitches off and put em in my pocket." He grabbed my face and kissed me hard.

"Boy move." I bust out laughing, pushing his head away. "You weird."

"You weird." He stopped at a red light.

"Where we going?"

"I was finna drop you off. Why, where you wanna go?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "You bout to drop me off where? Home?"

"Where else?" He took off. I know I said I loved when people drive fast but damm. Every time Kamiri did, it'd catch me off guard.

He was doing 102 right now.

"I thought I was gonna spend the day with you."

"Why you thought that?" He was focused on the road.

I scrunched up my face cause the way he was acting was making me feel like I was being a little clingy.

"I don't know." I shrugged, dropping the topic.

He looked over at me. Face straight like always. Made me feel like he had no emotions. I knew he did though.

"You wanna spend the day with me?"

My face dropped. "Yeah." I spoke in a duh tone.

"Why? Ian doing shit but hitting the block."

"Cause I like your company. You don't like being around me shorty?" I mocked his exact words making him bust out laughing.

"I oughta drop you off foreal na." We laughed together. 

"Damn man a nigga don't really wanna bring you roun here."

"Why? I come all the time."

"Yeah, with yo sisters. Not with me."

"What's the difference?" I asked genuinely confused.

He looked over at me for a minute before shaking his head. "None man. Sit back."

"....So I'm going with you right?"

"Mm. You hungry?"

"No. Thanks though." He nodded and turned his music up making me instantly get hype.

"Wait hold on this my song." I unlocked my phone going to my Instagram.

Gang-Gang
When I swag bring more house
Gang-Gang

"Ayeee, I'm from where you betta keep a thumpa. Betta get yo bitch for she get bumped up. Cause it's some niggas in the building with a lump-sum. Body bag super turnt up." I recorded myself.

I looked over my video, smiling at how pretty I looked. I seen Kamiri look over at me for a split second so I put a blue heart over him and posted it on my Instagram story.

We were in the car for a little while longer before the scenery started changing. We were no longer by my house so there weren't any more modern, suburban houses. Just beaten down, and abandoned houses.

Some looked nice though.

"You show you ain't hungry lil bit? Ian leaving here till round eleven."

He pulled up to a corner where a while bunch of niggas were standing.

"I'm okay."

"Come on." He cut the car off and got out making me follow behind him quietly.

"Aye KB!" The squirrel boy called out to him.

"Yo."

"Lil Baby!" Marv yelled from way on the other side of the street. 

"Heyyy fav." I smiled.

"All them damn Y's. Take some of them bitches off." Kamiri grumbled from in front of me making me scrunch up my face.

i can't stand his ass.

"Boy shutup."

"Wassup Buddha." Tonio nodded while Los hugged me.

"Bae!" Freaky held his hands out.

"Hey Freaky. Where you been?"

"I was in Cleveland. Away on business."

"This mf tombout business." They laughed.

"Fuck allat. Why I heard you out here fighting?" He stood in front of me.

"On crippp! On what you out here getting into it with people. I thought you say you won't like yo sisters."

"All I'm saying. I thought you was different." Kris mugged me playfully.

"I ammm." I laughed. "I'm not a fighter."

"Shit I can't tell. Aye Freaky I gotta show you this video." He unlocked his phone.

"Hey KB. I don't know you but hey." Two girls walked up. Only one spoke. The other one walked clean past me, straight to Kamiri.

He held his arm out, blocking her from getting any closer to him. "You see my girl right here?"

She nodded, slowly looking over at me.

"So how you gone come over here and not say shit to her and walk straight to me? I oughta snatch that frontal off yo lil disrespectful ass." He mugged the shit out of her. My mouth dropped open in shock, not expecting him to say that to her.

"Kamiri." I looked at him. He was so fucking mean.

They all bust out laughing like it was the funniest shit he ever done said. Tonio threw his head back laughing, Los started laughing the ugliest laugh I ever heard, Kris and Freaky leaned off his car and ran in the steet, Marv started fighting the air looking dumb as hell. 

All of them were just doing the most. It was funny but not that damn funny.

"Nigga said he gone snatch the whole wig off! Im trippinnn!"

"KB you some funny ass nigga on hood!"

"H—hello." The girl waved shyly. Like she was embarrassed.

I waved back, trying to hide the smug look I had on my face. 

"This my little cousin Jaelyn and her friend Valencia. This Buddha." He motioned with his hands.

"Hey. Sorry about that. I didn't mean no disrespect." The girl apologized. I could tell she was lying though.

"It's cool." I waved her off.

"Disrespectful ass." Los taunted her, pullling on her frontal making them all fall into another laughing fit.

"Move." She shrugged him off.

"Y'all better leave my friend alone." Jaelyn mugged them.

"Shutup for I get on you ole paper clip built ass lil girl." I watched