(excuse all mistakes.)

Compton, California 📍

Vadah Avani Parker | Buddha

"No he's taking me to Cancun."

"Bitchhh." I pushed Zaza's shoulder. "When?"

"In like two weeks." She had a big ass smile on her face.

"Awh im so happy for you sissy. I can't believe you're pregnant. Who else did you tell?" I washed the last dish and put it on the rack.

"Well Chocolate was the first to know. I already told Daddy and now I'm telling you."

"What did Daddy say?"

"Nothing really, just expected it to be Lady. He was a little upset cause I'm young but he happy to be having a grandchild."

"That's why you weren't drinking last night? How long have you known?"

"Shit, two days now. I'm five weeks."

"What do you think you're having?"

"I want a boy. I can't have no girl. What you think?"

"Girl I don't care. Long as it's healthy." I smiled. "I'm gonna be an auntieeee."

"DaeDae said he already knowing you gone spoil his baby."

"You damn skippy. Real ass TT give a fuck what yo daddy said." I sung.

"Bitch bye." She bust out laughing. "I'm bout to get outta here."

"Where you going?" It was a Saturday and we were the only ones here. If she left, I was gonna be by myself.

"To get something to wear to this function today."

"Dang everybody be having plans. I wanna come." I pouted.

"It's KB's grandma barbeque." She scrunched up her face in confusion. "He didn't invite you?"

"I mean we aren't dating. I wouldn't expect him to." I frowned. I was so drunk last night, I ignored when Kamiri texted me and called me.

When I woke up this morning, I texted and called him back, and he hasn't responded. That was at 9:00.

Its 12:00 right now.

"It's just a lil get together. You wanna come? Arondae invited me and I invited Chocolate."

"Well everybody has an invitation, I want one too. I'm not going if I don't have an invitation." I shrugged.

"Bitch you is petty." She shook her head. "If you wanna come, you know you can. See you later baby."

"Alright Za." I side hugged her.

"Mama say it's my fault, it's my fault I wear my heart on my sleeve." I pulled my shorts out my ass and cut the kitchen light off.

I woke up with a mean ass hangover and I didn't plan on doing nothing but relaxing today.

"Dang I need a fill." I frowned, looking at my nails.

Sitting on the couch, I cut the TV on. Not to look at, but just to have some type of sound on in the background.

I went through my Instastory memories and saved all the pictures of old sets that I took, saving them so I could create a highlight.

The doorbell rung making me groan.

"My daddy's not here, go the fuck awayyy." I sung, walking to the door.

I looked through the peephole and felt my heart thump in my chest.

My pussy did too.

"Hey." I swung the door open.

"Wassup." Kamiri nodded at me. He always had this blank look in his eyes. I didn't know what that was about.

I looked him up and down, taking in his appearance. He had on a black Kenzo sweatshirt, black Amiris and all white AF1s.

I loved the way he dressed. It was like, yeah it was simple. And yeah, it was designer. But he didn't do the most with it.

"You gone let me in baby?" I snapped out of my daze, moving to the side for him to come in the house.

My eyes rolled to the back of my head, smelling his cologne.

i probably smell like dish detergent and shit.

"You texted me you needed me last night. What happened?" I looked at him in a concerning manner after closing and locking the door.

"That was last night. New day." He kept it simple, looking around the living room.

"You can sit down if you want." I gestured to the couch. Although I was beginning to get comfortable around him, he still managed to make me nervous and shy.

"Yeah." He nodded, still looking around.

I shrugged and sat down, browsing through channels.

When I finally decided on watching The Carbonaro Effect, I noticed he was still standing up.

"Can you sit down? You're making me nervous." He snapped his head to me, like he just snapped out of a daze. He looked out of it.

He sat next to me not speaking. "So what'd you need last night?"

I seen him slightly scrunch his face up before shaking his head. "Told you, new day."

"Okay but I at least deserve to know what it is that you needed right?"

"No. You won't there when I needed you. Don't worry bout it."

It was my turn to scrunch up my face. "Kamiri I was out last night. I'm sure you knew that because you watched my story... You expected me to drop everything I was doing when I was drunk off my ass?"

"Nope." He chuckled. "Ion expect nothing from nobody. No expectation, no disappointment."

"Are you really dismissing the conversation?" I furrowed my eyebrows in astonishment.

"I am." He nodded. "It's a new day. The shit over with."

"It's not over." I squinted my eyes. "I'm not even done getting my point across."

"Guess you gone be talking to yourself cause I'm done." He shrugged.

"Wow." I spoke in disbelief, shaking my head.

He looked over at me with that same blank look in his eyes. "I came over here to ask you to come somewhere with me?"

"Where?" I had an attitude. I felt like he was trying to make me feel bad about having fun. I was out, and drunk. What the fuck did he want me to do?

"My Maw lil barbeque."

hm.

I wanted to smile but I kept the same straight face. "Oh."

"You gone come?"

"Yeah, sure. What time does it start?"

"It start around 3 but my family run on colored people time, so mfs ain't gone get there till round five."

Okay, okay. That's cool cause it gets dark around 8.

"Okay. That's fine."

"You got something to wear? You need me to take you to the mall or something?"

"No, I think I know what I'm wearing." I thought of clothes I had, putting outfits together in my head.

"Well come on, let's go get it out cause you take for fucking ever. When I'm ready to go, I wanna be able to walk out the door without you scattering cross the house like a roach when the lights cut on."

I didn't want to but I busted out laughing. "I'm gonna be ready."

"The fuck eva." He looked at the TV. "What this is?"

"Carbonaro Effect." I stared at his side profile. He had bags under his eyes and he kept yawning

"You're seriously not gonna tell me what you needed?" I knew I was pestering but I genuinely cared.

"It's nothing shordy, I just needed somebody to talk to." He waved me off.

"Do you still wanna talk? I'm here." I said assurringly.

He looked over at me, staring me in my eyes, admiring my face. "I'm good."

"You look sleepy. Are you sleepy?"

He cracked a smile and nodded his head. "Ian sleep last night."

"Why not?" I frowned.

"Couldn't." He shrugged and looked down and playing with his fingers. His body language was off. His whole persona. Something was definitely wrong.

"Did you eat?" He shook his head.

"All day?" Once again, he shook his head.

"Kamiri. You can't keep doing that. Come on." I stood up, holding my hand out.

Putting his big hand in my small one, I pulled him to the kitchen.

"You know how to cook?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

I stifled my laughter and shook my head.

i wish.

"No."

He stayed silent watching my every move. It was honestly making me nervous and I felt like my legs were about to give out.

"Why you care so much?"

"Hm?" I looked up for a split second, not really hearing him.

"I say why you care so much? About me eating and shit?"

"Because I care about you." I blushed. "I just wanna be sure that you're okay. Especially because you don't eat all day. That isn't safe."

"Oh." He smirked. "I care about you too. You ate today?"

"Chile please, I eat every day, all day, no matter the time."

He straight faced me making me chuckle. "You always being extra. All you had to say was, yes I ate today Kamiri. Thank you for asking."

"I do not sound like that." I bust out laughing.

"Yes you do. Deep voice ass."

"Stop playing. My voice ain't all that deep."

"It ain't all that high either. Sound like my grandaddy."

I bust out laughing. "Get out. I can't stand youuuuuuu!"

"Sit yo ass down then." He went for my waist pulling me to him.

"Can I get a kiss?" He kissed my cheek. "Please?"

Rolling my eyes, I still had a smirk on my face. "No, move."

"Wow. I shoulda just kissed yo big head ass. Niggas try and be nice and ask."

After going through the pantry and grabbing what I needed, I went in a cabinet and grabbed a pot, filling it up with water.

"Motherfucker, I know you ain't finna make me no damn noodles." He mugged the shit out of me making me bust out laughing.

"These ain't no regular noodles saweetie. These ramene' noodlese'." I cut the stove top on.

"Why you like to play?" He chuckled.

"I'm not playing. You don't eat this?"

"I do." He nodded with that little smirk I loved plastered on his face.

"Good cause this is the only thing I actually know how to cook." I turned around after putting the noodles in the pot. "What do you like in your noodles?"

He scrunched up his face at me. "Nigga.. noodles. Nothing else..."

"I- you don't like hot sauce? Complete Seasoning? Ritz Crackers and Vienna Sausages?"

"Vadah take yo ass on. That's what you finna make me? That's some shit they eat in jail."

"And is. It's called goulash." I stated matter-of-factly.

He bust out laughing like it was the funniest thing I ever said. "How would you know?"

"Chauncey." I pursed my lips.

He nodded. "Watch out. What y'all got to eat up in here?" He stood up and moved me from in front of the fridge.

He grabbed a pack of lunch meat, Muenster cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and a bottle of stuff my dad always puts on his sandwich. I think it was called Submarine dressing.

"What about the noodles." I squinted my eyes.

"Ain't nobody tell you to make that fuck ass shit." He laughed. "You can eat that bull."

"Wow. I can't stand you." I frowned, walking over to the stove.

try to do something nice.

♛

"Heart been broke so many times, I dont know what to believe." I nodded, washing up the dish that I used. "Mama say it's my fault, it's my fault I wear my heart on my sleeve."

"You always listening to this nigga." Kamiri was sitting right next to me, eating his last sandwich.

He had made two and both of them looked and smelled good as hell.

"Cause he's one of my favorites. He be snapping."

"He ight."

I wounded up not eating the noodles. I had already eaten prior to him coming. I didn't want to waste them but shit, I wasn't hungry either.

See I done been lied to, backstabbed, and heartbroken
I wanted to cry but I was too afraid to open
Prayin' one day I'd find a piece of mind by the ocean
I spent all my time committing crimes to get closer

"While at my nana house I play the couch, starin at the ceiling. Tryin not to get in my feelings. Thinkin of a way I could make these millions. Maybe that'll take this pain away and clear up all these rainy days." I sung, recording myself.

"What this song called?" He looked at me.

"I thought he was just ight?" I looked over the video, making sure it was cute enough for me to post.

Kamiri was in it a little bit at the end but from the way I was holding the phone if I put an emoji over him, it'd fuck up my whole video, so I just posted it.

"Gi- you know what? Imma just look up the lyrics."

I bust out laughing. "You're so fucking annoying. It's Heart On Ice by Rod Wave."

"Oh ight." He nodded. "Play me something else by him."

I went through my playlist and put on Feel The Same Way. DaeDae really put me on. He was always listening to him.

"Oh this who sing this? This that nigga DaeDae favorite song."

I nodded, not even paying attention to him, texting Nasiah back.

nasiah frm walmart. : Cause you made my dick hard shordy 😂

buddha. 🖤: you pulled me on YOUR lap! 😭

nasiah frm walmart. : I was tryna teach you how to drive ain't nobody tell you to start shifting on my lap and shit

"Come lay down with me." Kamiri snatched my phone out of my hand making me quickly lock it.

fuckkkkkkkkk.

He stared down at the dark phone screen with his face scrunched up. He looked up at me with what looked to be confusion.

"What?" I asked as he stared at me, trying to come off confused. I started playing with my hands. Something I always did when I was nervous.

you fuckin uppp vadah.

"You locked yo phone." He shook his head, squinting his eyes. "You never do that."

"It was a reflex."

He looked up at me, eyes blank as always. Only now they were darker.

He stood up and towered over me, wrapping his hand around my neck. "You like playing wit me. Like I won't fuck you up."

Edges? Snatched.
Panties? Gone.
Pussy? Wet.
Hotel? Trivago.

"I'm not playing. You want me to open it and show you?"

"Ion wanna see shit. You locked it. Obviously it's some on there you'on want me to see." He shrugged, standing up and putting his plate in the garbage and walking out the kitchen.

"Kamiri." I called out, following after him. "Fuccckkk Vadah you fucking upppp."

He sat on the couch, head in his phone.

"Kamiri." I stared at him, standing from a distance.

this nigga crazy, im not taking any chances.

"Yeah shordy?" He asked like I was aggravating him. I mean that was understandable though.

Didn't stop it from hurting my feelings.

"Look." I unlocked the phone, showing him the messages. "It's nothing."

He moved the phone out of his face, not looking. "I don't care. Get that shit out my face for I break it."

"Kamiri."

"KB." He called himself correcting me.

My eyes widened and I poked my lip out a little.

don't cry bitch.
don't cry bitch.
don't cry bitch.
don't cry bitch.
don't cry bitch.

"Really?" My eyes watered. I know it was my own fault but I was overly sensitive. I couldn't help it. "Wow."

"Ion care bout that crying shit." He shrugged. "I should be the one crying right now."

"Ain't nobody even crying." I held my arms out with tears streaming down my face.

"Okay Buddha."

"Vadah." I corrected him stubbornly.

He ignored me and continued looking down at his phone. That was his problem. He didn't like to talk. He'd rather ignore me than talk to me.

I had that same problem though.. That was our downfall.

I walked around the house, wiping my tears and turning off unnecessary lights. Plugging out shit that didn't need to be plugged out shit that wasn't bothering me. Just tryna find something to do.

"I'm finna get up outta here." He stood up.

"Really? You're about to leave?"

"Yeah, come lock this door."

"Kamiri you're really overreacting right now. You're mad for no reason."

"I'm mad for no reason Vadah?"

"Yes." I rolled my eyes.

He chuckled and shook his head. "You ain't even seeing the principle of the whole situation and that's what's killing me."

I didn't say anything making him speak up again.

"The same shit you cussed me out about doing, you doing. How the fuck that work? Hm?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. He was all in my personal space, looking down on me, making me feel small.

"Exactly. I'm so stiff on them hoes! Won't even lol a bitch because that's what you wanted! I'm for you, why you'on see that?!"

"Kamiri." I spoke barely above a whisper. "You cannot be mad. We're fr—"

"Don't give me that we friends bullshit because if we were just friends, you wouldn't be hiding nothing from me. Ion hide shit from my friends Avani."

"Tell me. Why you hiding it? Why you can't just be straight up with me? Ian never told you no lie."

I stayed silence once again.

He nodded, and dug in his pocket grabbing a hold of his keys.

"I'll be back over here roun 5. Yeen ready, you getting left." That's all he said before he walked out the door.

at least he's still taking me.

__________

im ready for them to have some rough ass sex no bap...

she still ah virgin, y'all think she should lose it in ah mushy ass, romantic way? orrrr just throw dat lil poopoo at my shorty?

i really do value y'all opinions cus it help me out a lot. 😂

sometimes i incorporate em, sometimes i don't.

depends really cus y'all b sayin some off the wall ass shit.

thank you for reading. 💕

vote + comment. 🖤

7/26/19

_slimsantana🎲