The next time Diego visited me was a year later, on my 9th birthday.

"Diego!" I ran to where he was sitting. But I didn't get the desired reaction I had hoped for. He didn't look even half as excited as last time.

"Lili, you've grown taller." He observed, stiffly. Diego had also grown taller. He was starting to resemble father. There were heavy bags under his eyes telling me he hasn't been sleeping properly.

"Are you here to take me home?" I asked, excited. His promise last time was the only thing keeping me sane in this hellish place.

At my question, Diego looked up from the ground. "You're here to take me back home, right?" I asked, my voice breaking at the end.

"I-I can't, Lili."I noticed the slight layer of water under his eyes.

"Why not?" I asked, my voice showing how desperate I was. "Diego, I can't live here anymore. Please, you have to take me."

"I can't," he repeated, firmer than before.

"When can you take me back then?" I jumped on my next best option. "I can wait for another year. Or two. But promise me you will save me from here."

Diego looked at me with sadness in his eyes. Raising his hand, he gently caressed my face, "Lili, can you call me big brother again?"

"Just once," he pleaded, silent tears falling down his eyes.

"Big brother," I complied, "I don't like it here. Please."

Diego turned his face away from me, "You're not supposed to like it."

"What?"

"Do you know what the punishment for murder is?" He asked in a cracked voice. "It's death. A life for a life."

"Consider yourself lucky, dad is being merciful towards you by leaving you here."

Merciful?!

Getting beat up on a daily basis was considered mercy? Having to spend days with nothing to eat but water was considered mercy?

Getting experimented on like a guinea pig was considered mercy?

I would much prefer death over it.

"This is not mercy." I voiced out, bitterly.

"Tsk, still so ungrateful. If it were up to me you would be long dead already."

"You don't mean that!" I flinched back, horrified.

"Oh, but, I do," he smirked. "You know, every time they told me to make a wish on my birthday, I would wish I could kill you."

The raw honesty in his eyes scared me. "Why are you doing this, Diego?"

"Because you deserve it."

I didn't move. I couldn't move. My body had just frozen on its own. Diego didn't leave either. He quietly sat beside me for the remaining twenty minutes left of visiting time.

"Diego," I called out when the visiting time was over. "It's not too late yet."

"What?" Diego looked back at me, confused.

"It's not too late to make your wish come true," I explained. "You can kill me. Right here, right now. It would save us both a lot of trouble."

"Lili-" he started, his eyes wide with shock.

"Aylin. It's Aylin." I interrupted him. "Also, don't come back. Ever."

Diego left without another word.

He never came back again.

... ... ...

I often wondered who I hated more. Father or Diego? I still wasn't sure.

I had woken up extra early to avoid seeing Diego during breakfast. I wasn't the least bit shocked to find Noah in the kitchen, reading a magazine while peeling an orange for himself.

I contemplated whether I should just leave without breakfast now that Noah was here. I didn't want to let Noah know I was sneaking out early.

"Eat before you leave," Noah ordered. Did all my brothers have eyes behind their backs?

"Aylin," Noah repeated when I still didn't enter the kitchen.

"I have a student council meeting," I explained before he would get any other idea by seeing me leave so early for school.

"A council meeting at 5 in the morning?" He passed me the orange he had peeled.

"Winter is coming. It's a busy month." I tried to justify my lie.

"Hmm, sure." Noah nodded. "I'm sure there is another meeting after school, too."

"Yes! How did you know that?" I tried to act surprised that he guessed my lie before I could even say it. Noah looked at me with a bored expression written on his face.

"Alright," I sighed. "I don't want to see him. Can you cover for me?"

"Sure." Noah agreed.

Really? That easily?

"But-"

There it was!

"But what?" I asked.

"What do I get out of this?"

"What do you want?"

He thought for a while before answering. "You will owe me a favour."

"Deal."

... ... ...

I think I cursed my luck when I said December was going to be a busy month.

Ethan walked into the council room with heaps of paper in his hand. "These are the entry forms. We need to sort this out by tomorrow."

"Entry forms for what?"

"You don't know, shortcake?" He looked at me like I was an alien.

"It's the most hyped-up function of our school. The students show off their talents there. It starts next week and goes on for three consecutive days." Aiden explained.

I nodded; I wasn't a fan of cultural functions. It's a good thing I will only be dealing with the paperwork.

"Oh, by the way, shortcake, I already volunteered you and me for hosting the show."

"You can't do that without my permission, Ethan!"

"It's compulsory to enter at least one category. Would you rather have put your name in the dance category?" Ethan rolled his eyes, arranging the entry forms according to categories.

"Don't do something like that without my permission again," I warned. He just got lucky this time.

We weren't even halfway done with our work when someone knocked on our door. It was a boy from my class.

"You two weren't in the class. Vera told me to deliver this." He handed us two fancy cards. Why was everything in this school so fancy?

"What is this?"

"Invitation card," Ethan answered, putting his card in his bag.

"For what?" Why was I so clueless?

"To invite your family," Ethan answered.

I threw it in the dustbin next to me. Ethan noticed my action but was wise not to comment on it.

... ... ...

I didn't want to go back. It was already past seven. I know I would get in trouble if I go any late.

But I really didn't want to see him. Or have those flashbacks tormented me?

Taking a deep breath, I pressed the doorbell. I silently thanked God that Eve opened the door. Which meant I can successfully avoid Diego until dinner.

But dinner came too soon. I still wasn't prepared to face him.

"We are not eating in the dining hall?" I asked once I saw everyone gathered in the living room.

"No, big brother convinced Ezra to order pizza," Noah informed.

"From outside! Not homemade, not organic but actual quality pizza!" I don't think I've seen Eve this excited before.

Though, I understand her a little. Following Ezra's healthy lifestyle diet clearly wasn't everyone's cup of tea.

"Lili, I saved you a spot." Diego pointed to the empty spot right beside him. All the other seats were already occupied.

Ignoring him, I asked Ezra if he could move, and he easily agreed. I took a seat beside Kai who was reading a book even during dinner.

My rejection did nothing to lessen the enthusiasm of Diego. "Lili, what do you want to watch?"

"Stephen, can I eat dinner in my room tonight?" I asked, hoping he would agree after I heard their conversation last night.

"No." Stephen refused, snatching the remote from Diego's hand, and putting on a sci-fi movie of his liking.

"Why do you get to decide what to watch?" Diego instantly showed his displeasure.

"Because I'm the eldest." Stephen shut him up. "I get certain privileges."

"He's more like a tyrant who exploits our civil rights," Noah commented from beside me.

"You have something to say, Noah?" Stephen dared.

"Not a word." Noah raised his hands in surrender.

"See what I'm talking about," He whispered to me when Stephen had turned his attention back to the screen.

Just then the bell rang signaling the arrival of pizza.

"Noah, go get the door," Diego ordered.

"Who's paying?" Noah forwarded his hand for money.

"Stephen."

"Diego."

They both said at the same time.

"You ordered it, you pay for it," Stephen said.

"You are the eldest. You pay." Diego used his own words against him.

Stephen didn't argue after that instead passed a hundred-dollar bill to Noah.

I don't know why Stephen and Diego fought so much. It might be because of the fact that they are only 2 years apart and grew up always fighting.

"Noah is sitting here!" I protested when Diego sat down in the spot right next to me.

"I don't see him," Diego smirked. So that's why he sent Noah to get the door. I inched closer to Kai, trying to create as much distance as possible between me and Diego.

Halfway through the movie, everyone was already bored of the sci-fi movie Stephen had put on.

"Anyone wants pie?" Ezra asked bringing a pie from the kitchen. Taking the knife from him, I cut myself a slice. We had already paused the movie, and everyone was busy eating the pie.

"Lili, give me one, too," Diego demanded.

"Stop calling me Lili," I voiced out, getting tired of him acting like there was nothing wrong between us.

"Sure, Lili." He provoked.

"Don't call me that!" I shouted.

"I hear you, Lili."

I felt the last bit of my patience snap.

"Lili, the pie." Diego reminded.

'Stab him,' the voice suggested.

I looked at the knife in my hands. If I just stabbed it right at his heart, what were the chances of him making it out alive?

'Stab him, Lili.'

I can't. My hands started shaking. I wanted to do it. But I also didn't want to do it.

'He always wanted to kill you, Lili.' the voice reminded, 'It's only fair you do the same.'

It was right. If I just killed him, my life would be so much easier. No one was looking, I can just say it was an accident later.

'Do it!'

My hands were still shaking. But he deserved it. He deserves to die. So I raised the knife in my hand, my eyes focused on where his heart was located.

"Sweetheart."

Stephen covered my shaking hands with his big, cold ones.

I looked at him in panic. Did he know what I wanted to do? No, it can't be.

They played the movie again. But Stephen hadn't once looked at the screen.

He was intently watching me instead. Silently observing every emotion that flickered in my eyes.

I didn't need any more confirmation after that.

Stephen knew exactly what I was about to do if he hadn't stopped me.

***

Do you guys think Aylin is mentally unstable?