I had so much fun learning to surf with Rowan. I felt like he was sharing a part of his world with me. For years he was always trying to get me to learn, but I always was to scared. Something yesterday made me feel like I needed to do it, get my feet wet and live a little. It was actually fun getting in on the action instead of just sitting on the beach watching Rowan do what he does best. Surfing was his way of coping just like mine was writing. We both did something we loved in order to survive.

It wasn't until a year or two ago that Rowan opened up and told me that the reason why he started surfing was because of the enormous grief he felt after his father's death. Believe it or not, Rowan at first, was terrified of the water. I couldn't believe it when I watched him in the water. He looked at home. He started getting better with each lesson both emotionally and skillfully. Rowan was born to surf.

It was in the afternoon and we were expecting company. Rowan and I's small apartment wasn't big enough for company but Raven and Lachlan were dying to see us while we were still on spring break and weren't drowning ourselves in our studies.

Rowan was studying to be a lawyer. After the trial with Bradley, Rowan discovered his calling. He wanted to help people and be able to have the power to get people like Bradley locked up. He still had a couple more years before he was ready to be in the court on his own but in the fall he was going to be working on getting an internship with a firm that specialized in sexual assault cases.

I was over the moon when he told me what his major was going to be and I knew that he would do whatever he could to help others like he helped me. Without him and his mother, Jenny, I'm not for sure if I would had ever been able to come out about my experience and go to the police. Without Rowan I probably would still be in that town too scared to leave terrified every day by Bradley's face or I would be dead. It was a scary thought, how far down the dark path I was to suicide. It made me realize what I wanted to do with rest of my life.

While Rowan was doing law, I was studying to be a psychiatrist that specialized in rape and sexual assault vivariums. I thought, who else better to help those boys and girls than someone who had already been through it. I could tell them my story and how I got a happy ending. Hopefully with my studies I could give them to tools to survive and make their lives theirs again.

I knew with my psychiatrist that they helped me manage a lot of the side effects and mental abuse I was doing to myself thanks to Bradley.

"Lennon you dressed yet?" Rowan yelled through the bathroom door. His voice yanked me out of my thoughts and threw me right into reality. I had no clue how long I had been standing there in the bathroom just thinking about life.

I gripped the counter top and looked into the mirror. My eyes were still puffy from the crying session I had in the shower and my brown hair was slowly starting to dry. I made the jump from being a blonde to a brunette after Rowan and I moved in together.

After last night, I was destroyed inside. I thought I was ready to take the next step in our relationship. I let Rowan down and it was killing me. Telling him to stop must have made him upset. I knew he wouldn't say anything about being upset but it was easy to tell when I looked into his eyes as he carried me to the bedroom. His eyes leaked out disappointment.

"Yeah." I sniffled. "I'll be out in a minute." My voice was shaky and I didn't want to look in the mirror no longer. I was weak. Even after Bradley was gone he still had control over me.

"Lennon open the door." Rowan ordered. He heard the pain in my voice and instantly knew something wasn't right. I couldn't bare myself to not let him in. He was my rock and right now I needed him, even if I broke in front of him.

I unlocked the door and pulled it open letting him slip into our tiny bathroom. He wrapped an arm around me when he saw the tears.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

At first I didn't want to say anything but I knew better than to keep things from him. I knew if I would just open up and tell him, he would make me feel better. He always did. "It's nothing really." I brushed it off.

Rowan looked down at me and brush a loose strand of hair away from my face and placed it back behind my ear. "Come on baby, tell me." He said, giving my a small smile.

I bit my lip. If I told him he would make me feel better but it would upset him knowing that I felt that way. "Last night." I whispered, ashamed.

"If this is about you telling me to stop then I'm going to tell you to stop. I'm fine, really. I would never do anything without your full consent. That's just the kind of man I am. We don't have to do anything until you’re ready. I'm not going to be upset if you tell me no because sex, sex is just a thing that lasts a couple minutes. But your love, it lasts a lifetime. I don't want to throw all of that away because you think I'm unhappy with our relationship." His words were clear and they went straight to my heart.

"You deserve someone who's not as weak as I am." I cried, twisting my fingers together in front of me. He deserved someone better than me. Someone who he could love anyway without being afraid of hurting them.  

"Listen." Rowan said taking a hold of my shoulder lightly turning me to face him. "I wanted to be with you three years ago and I still want to be with you. As cheesy as it may sound you're my future. Everything I dream about has you right there beside me. We are in this together forever. You've been getting stronger each day but guess what Lennon, you were already so strong to begin with. I love you." He tipped head up and bent down sealing his promise with a kiss.

I kiss him back with all my heart. This man was going to be the man I spent the rest of my life with. He was always there for me regardless of the stupid shit I said, he was always right by my side, helping me anyway he could. Rowan had always said that I was better because of my own will, while that might have been true, I had lots of help. Without him I wouldn't have been able to take those first steps into getting the help I needed.

"You’re so strong and you’re already an inspiration to so many." He whispered in my ear as he held me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him, breaking out of his embrace. He couldn't have been talking about what I thought he was talking about. There was no way.

"Nothing. I just meant your strong." He said, trying to cover up his mistake.

I shook my head, feeling some rage grow inside me. "Oh no you don't mister. What do you mean already an inspiration to many?" I demanded my hand on my hip, giving him the I'm waiting for an answer look.

"Don't be mad at me. I promise that it was an accident."

"What was an accident?" I asked, getting more nervous with each passing second. What did he mean don't be mad? What did he do?

"You might want to sit down." He lead me over to our bed across from the bathroom. Once I was reluctantly sitting on the bed I asked him again. I needed to know what was going on. I didn't like surprises and he knew that.

Rowan stood in front of me, with his own worried look on his face as he began to explain. "So you know the week you were writing on your laptop and had to hurry up to work because you were late? You texted me asking if I could shut your computer off. Well you left something open... and I found your blog."

My eyes widened and I felt like throwing up. How did he find my blog? I was so sure that I exited out of the site. I didn't want him to see it or anyone to know it was me. "Rowan." I cried out.

"I promise I didn't mean to read it, but I saw all the notifications and comments you had. All these young girls were telling you their own stories and messaging you how your blog influenced them to speak out. My curiosity got the better of me and I read all your posts. I wanted to know what you were saying and why you couldn't say it to me.”

My stomach dropped. I never wanted him to feel like I couldn't tell him what was going on, but it was easier for me to write about my worries and fear than tell him, because a lot of my fears were about losing him. How embarrassing is it for someone you love to read your deepest darkest thoughts about your relationship?

"I understand now that it was just like your journal. You just needed to talk about it, but I still couldn't figure out why you put it online for all those people to read. I'm here and I'm not leaving, so if you need to talk I'm here. I'm always here." He said.

I sighed and took a deep breath. "I don't know honestly I just felt like with all the negative things in the news about rape victims never getting a happy ending, girls and boys needed to hear that's not always the case. I wanted to share my story and how it ended with them, like your mother did for me. I know how much your mother influenced me opening up and telling people. So many people don't have that." I knew that what I was doing was helping people and it gave me a sense of purpose.

"Well I'm glad you are happy. You deserve to be happy and I'm so proud of you for sharing your story with people. That's one of the reasons why I kept reading your blog. All those people relating to your story it fuels my fire to get out of school and into the courtroom."

I laughed thinking about how we ended up being together. "You know I really do need to teach you what privacy means. First my journal and now my blog." I was just joking with him. I wouldn't have changed anything for the world. I had this amazing man by my side and we had our whole lives ahead of us.

“I guess I'll forgive you. But you’ll have to kiss me first.” I knew he meant well when he read the blog and of course I was going to forgive him.

Rowan leaned down and gave me a quick sweet kiss, wrapping me up in a tight hug.

“I love you.” I whispered.

“I love you more.”

We stayed there just thinking about how funny fate was. Who knew that me losing my journal would make my life so much better. My cell phone rang in my pocket and it broke us both out of our trance.

Raven.

"Hello." I answered.

"Who is it?" Rowan asked me quietly.

Raven, I mouthed.

"Lennon are you going to open the door or not? We have been standing outside ringing the doorbell for ten minutes. What the heck are you guys doing in there?" She yelled.

In the background I could hear Lachlan saying something highly inappropriate and I just shook my head. Of course he would say something like that.

"We'll be right there." I told Raven already getting up from the bed.

"Lachlan says to, don't mind us and go back to having your fun." Raven relayed his message.

Not bothering to reply back to his comment I ended the call and we both went to the living room to the front door. Outside I could hear Lachlan and Raven arguing about something and I rolled my eyes. Some things never changed. Ever since Rowan and I became serious, Lachlan had been acting like a big brother towards Raven and she was hating it.

Rowan opened up the door and I almost died of laughter. Lachlan had an arm around Raven trying to take a selfie with her, but she was fighting him, tooth and nail. "Come on, we are going to be siblings anyway you might as well cave in and take selfies with me."

Rowan didn't think it was funny and groaned. "Really Lachlan, knock it off." Neither of them knew that we were standing there with the door open. Lachlan stopped and smiled at Rowan.

"Brother!" He wrapped Rowan in a tight hug. It was hard to accept that Lachlan was almost as big as Rowan. It had been months since I had last seen him and Raven. With school, Rowan and I were only able to make it down when we were on break. He was eighteen now and I couldn't believe that my sister was just a year younger and would be graduating the next year.

I gave Raven and hug. It felt so good to see them again.

Raven grabbed a hold of my hand and looked at the ring on my finger. "Oh my god it's so pretty. A little bit to small for my taste but it's so cute. The pictures you sent me just don't do it justice." She inspected it more.

"Why didn't you just give her an engagement ring?" Lachlan asked his brother.

Rowan chuckled and shook his head. "We are taking things slow. It's a promise ring that symbolizes my promise that it'll be replace with an engagement ring and soon afterwards a wedding ring."

"Yep." I smiled. I seemed to be doing that a lot more lately. I absolutely loved my promise ring. It wasn't flashy but it was very nice. Rowan had always kept his promise on taking things slow and never forcing me into something I didn't want to do.

"Awe, you guys are so romantic unlike Romeo over here." Raven jabbed her finger towards Lachlan.

"Come on in out of the hallway and you can tell us what you mean by that." I ushered in Raven and Lachlan, taking their jackets and throwing them on the back of the couch.

Raven took a seat while the guys remained standing. "So Lachlan you going to tell them?" She asked with a grin on her face. She was enjoying this.

Lachlan however looked embarrassed and my heart went out to him. "What's going on little bro?" Rowan asked him.

"Maya broke up with me." He looked devastated. I knew how much he liked her. They had been with each other ever since Rowan and I. I couldn't believe she would break up with him now. He was a great guy like his brother and I wanted to see him happy.

"Come on Lachlan, let's go talk out on the balcony." Rowan said, leading his brother to where they could have some brotherly advice time, leaving me alone with Raven.

I joined her on the couch and crossed my legs trying to get comfortable. It seemed like it was forever since we were alone just the two of us.

"So how's things going?" Raven asked.

"Perfect." That was the only word in my mind that could describe it. Bradley was locked up. Rowan and I were getting ready to start our lives together taking small steps to getting engaged. Everything was perfect and I was finally happy.

I pulled up my blog on my phone to show my sister figuring she might as well know now that Rowan did. She took the phone from my hands and read the blog. I finally was able to come up with the perfect title.

Revealing Lennon.

THE END

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