Jenny was raped. I couldn't believe what Rowan was saying. She seemed so normal, nothing like me. How did she cope with that? Every time I saw her she was as happy as could be. She always had smile on her face that looked to be genuine.

I thought about Rowan's offer for a couple days ago. It sounded like a good idea, talking to his mother about what I had been through, but I wasn't ready just yet to tell anyone about what happened. If I was I would have reported it a long time ago.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I could just talk to her about things that were currently bothering me. The text message was in the back of mind everyday. I knew it was from him and it was terrifying. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Wasn't rapping me enough for him? What the hell did I ever do to him to deserve this?

"Mom I'm going to Rowan's!" I yelled, not sure where she was at the house, but if I was going to talk to Jenny, it was now or never. I grabbed my house keys in case I came home and the house was locked. I didn't want to be locked out in the middle of the night. My mind feared for the worst.

I left my house around six o'clock and arrived at Rowan's a few minutes later. I didn't see Rowan's vehicle he was supposed to have a late doctor's appointment after tutoring. After all the school he missed he was trying to catch up. That's one thing I hated about school, you miss it for a good reason and then they pile on the homework. Most of the points you couldn't make up because you were gone. Our school had a stupid policy where you could only miss eight days a semester. Once you missed more than eight you started getting zeros and you weren't allowed to make up the homework you missed. Rowan missed a lot more than eight days but his doctors argued that he shouldn't go to school just yet. Usually when you had a doctor's excuse those days you missed still counted against you. It was stupid.

I knocked on the door and waited for Jenny or Lachlan to answer the door. It had been a couple minutes and no answer. I decided to go ahead and knock again slightly harder than last time. Rowan didn't say anything about his mom going with him. I believe he said something about being happy that he could drive by himself, so his mother should be here.

Finally door opened and Jenny was standing there with a robe on and her hair up in a towel. "Don't worry Lachlan I got the door!" She yelled in a sarcastic voice and rolled her eyes.

"Hi Lennon. Rowan's not here right now, but he should be back in an hour or so if you want to wait for him." She said shifting her hands to her hips.

"Umm... actually I came to see you." This felt so awkward worse than when I first spoke to Rowan.

"Come on in." She said shuffling out of the way and shutting the front door behind me once I was inside. "What is it you came for?"

I could imagine how confused she was but I really needed to talk to someone or just be around someone that understood how I felt.

"Rowan told me that if I need to talk about stuff that I could come to you. That you went through the same thing I've been through." That came out worse than I thought it would. I mentally smacked myself. How inconsiderate could I be? I of all people should know better.

"Oh." Her face softened. "I'll be right back I just need to go get dressed." She walked over to the staircase and climbed a few of the steps before looking back. "Make yourself at home."

I watched as she walked up stairs. I waited for a few minutes unsure about what to do. Was I the only person that hated when people told them to make themselves at home? I decided to sit on the couch so that I wouldn't be in the way if Jenny wanted to set in one of the chairs.

My nerves were skyrocketing. I really hoped that Lachlan wasn't around to hear this. I knew that he probably knew about his mother's rape but the less people that knew about mine the better. That's the last thing I wanted to go around school.

"Alright." Jenny said walking into the room and sitting down in the chair diagonal from me. "What did you want to tell me?" She asked.

"Um... I'm not for sure that I actually want to talk about it." I fumbled with my shirt end. "I'm not ready yet."

Jenny nodded, "I completely understand. It took me a couple months before I was ready to talk to anyone about it. Just take your time."

"He told you?" I gulped, shocked.

"I know a little bit about it from Rowan. He didn't know what to do when he found out it was your journal." I felt revealed that she wasn't going to pressure me into speaking about it. I felt sorta glad that Rowan told his mom but I felt a little betrayed. I don't think I could say it myself. I just wasn't ready yet to open up to people.

"I'm guessing you're wanting to know how it happened." She said.

"Not if it will upset you." I said sincerely. I didn't want to cause Jenny any pain by bring up those memories.

She shook her head, "No it's fine. I've talked to a lot of people about it."

How? How could she just talk about it like it was a normal conversation? I couldn't even come to terms with it myself so how would I expect others to understand?

"It happened when I was nineteen, a freshman in college. I went to a party with my friends, just like every other Friday night. We were drinking and having fun and like normal freshman we wanted to prove that we could hold our liquor. I got separated from my friends but I don't remember being worried. I was just focused on having the time of my life.

"It was just part of the fun to get dressed up, show what you got. Most of the girls wore revealing outfits that were meant to catch a guy's attention. I was no exception. Looking back on it now I would have worn something less revealing, but not because I feel like it was too revealing but because I think it would have saved me from that experience. Maybe I wouldn't have attracted his attention. As much as I don't like that, it's the reality.

"The guy was a stranger. I had never seen him on campus before but that was a common occurrence with how big the college was. I remember I thought he was cute and he was older. We were having fun together, dancing.

"He asked me if I wanted to go somewhere private to talk and I said yes. Being the naive younger woman that I was I thought that meant we were actually going to talk and get to know each other.

"He lead me to another room in the dorm away from the party and away from people. It was his room, I believe. I didn't even know the guy's name. It was so stupid. I should have left to find my friends but instead I went with him.

"We started to kiss and I was into it until his hands started to wonder up my shirt. I told him to stop. I was pushing his hands back down to his sides but he pushed me back onto the bed and started kissing me more. I tried to break the kiss but he wouldn't stop. He undressed me and I was still fighting but it took him almost no effort to overpower me. I knew by now what was happening. He used me. No one came to my rescue. No one heard me crying for help.

"When he left to go to bathroom and I got up and ran out of the room. I ran to my dorm. I went inside and took a shower trying to rub off him. That night I cried for six hours straight. My friends came back and wanted to know what was wrong but I didn't say a word to them. I didn't speak to anyone about it for months. My grades were falling, putting me behind on my schedule to becoming a lawyer.

"Finally my parents realized something was going on and they had a talk with me. I told my mother what happened and I think she was heartbroken. She didn't know what to do. My father was angry, he wanted revenge. They went with me to the police. They had me meet with a sketch artist and describe my attacker. They weren't able to find him based on my description. What I needed was a name. If I would have went to the cops sooner they would have had a better chance at catching the guy. I would have had fresh detailed descriptions of the guy that might have picked him out of all the others, a tattoo somewhere or a scar. I wish I would have told someone that night. I could have gotten a rape kit and gotten his DNA. I could have stopped him from doing that to anyone else." Jenny finished her story.

She was crying but you knew how hard she was fighting it. "I'm sorry." I said not knowing what else to say.

"I know how hard it can be to talk about it. But please Lennon don't wait to tell the right people. Don't wait as long as I did. Because of me there is a rapist walking the streets still preying on women. You have the power to make him pay for what he did to you."

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