"Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes. But it's the only thing that I know. When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes. It is the only thing that makes us feel alive."

Chapter Theme Song: 'Photograph' by Ed Sheeran.

••

Harmony

I have never seen this side of Blaze before now, so I have no idea how to approach this rare situation. He is not the type to cry. I doubt he has ever cried since the moment he developed ASPD, but today, right here, in front of me, he's letting his guard down and opening himself completely to me.

I cannot help the tears that well in my eyes because of this.

"Blaze." I lay a hand on his shoulder, feeling it quivering underneath my palm. "Blaze, look at me."

His crying becomes more audible, a palm pressed over his face as he sobs into it, and I allow him to let everything out. These are all built-up emotions and tensions from over the years, since he was a little boy until now. He has been through so much. So neglected and abused and unloved. He doesn't deserve to be carrying all this weight on his back. I want to help him carry it, if it's not too much to ask for.

Instead of interrupting him, I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head on his shoulder, a tear slipping down my face and wetting his shuddering skin.

••

The cold water spumes from the rusted shower head, and I step back as its cold spikes slap my naked skin. I push my hair back as I lift my head underneath it, closing my eyes and enjoying the feel of the droplets running along my face and back.

Then the shower door glides open smoothly, and I feel Blaze's presence as he steps in, shutting it behind him.

My heart starts racing so fast, I can barely stay on my feet. Not that Blaze hasn't already seen me naked a few times before this, but that organ in my chest hasn't gotten used to us, being unclothed together, so it starts to race a hundred miles per second. I am now not only shivering from the cold, but from knowing he's right behind me, so close I can feel his warm body heat.

My lips part, desiring pooling below. We just had sex on his bed, but I could go again if he wants me to.

I turn around, and Blaze's nude body causes me to swallow as he approaches me with a lopsided smirk on his face. It's still really early. I should be getting ready for my next class; I've missed the first, but I need a shower earnestly; we are both so sweaty from what we did earlier. I also promised him that we'd take a shower together one day, so, by being in here, he's now holding me to my word, isn't he?

I can't stop my eyes from trailing down his defined body. His physique is sculpted perfectly, and it feels like he gets even more muscular every single second that goes by. Small sprinkles of hair leap along his toned legs. And when I see his...thing, my throat gets clogged with air.

He's erected, so erected it looks almost painful. The tip is really red and swollen.

I stiffen, flustered out of my mind. "Blaze..."

His eyes grow darker. "Mm?"

I shake my head, shifting on my feet. "Nothing..." There is a square mirror, pinned to the wall behind him, and though blurry with steam, I can see my reflection clearly. My complexion is hot and really red as though I'm sitting in a sauna.

I never thought I'd see myself defying my mom and not caring about it. But Blaze Xander has always been the only exception to everything. He has my heart, and truthfully, he can keep it. I don't want it back if it means being with him this way.

The things my mom said, how she yelled at me, is still playing on my mind. But I'm used to her verbal chastisements whenever I do something she deems as 'wrong.' I'm not surprised at all. Just worried that everything will fall apart because of her.

"You good?" He asks in a husky voice that makes my throat close up, and I nod. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him, our naked bodies brushing against each other. My face must look the ripest of strawberries now as he stares down at me beneath his dark eyelashes. The devil has never looked this beautiful.

My mind runs to that day he'd taken me to his childhood home in that barren woodland off the highway. He told me he was a 'devil' and that I should run away from him. Everyone told me to. I'm so glad that I didn't listen.

He roll his bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on it while his strong hands come around me and rubs along my back.

My lips part, wet and red, as I keep looking up at him, into his eyes. They are lust-filled and hypnotic. Slightly red and swollen, because he was crying. He slides lower down my spine and gropes my wet butt cheeks in his ample hands, squeezing and kneading them, spreading them slightly, and I sigh audibly.

"Blaze..." I breathe. He makes me so weak.

"Yes?" He whispers, pressing even more against me and staring down at my lips. The feel of our uncovered skins touching is beyond heavenly. My nipples stand stiffly against his toned chest, our centers stroking one another ever so faintly.

Without a word, he effortlessly lifts me from the soppy ground and positions me on his strong waist. I wrap my legs around him on plain instinct, feeling his hardened length poking me between my quivering legs. I tremble as he stares into my flushed face, gauging every single reaction of mine.

He wraps a single arm underneath my butt, bicep bulging, and lifts me slightly. Before I know it, I can feel his soft yet hard manhood nudging at my opening. My lashes flutter in nervousness as I press my face into his neck. I feel his pulse against my skin, and his heart is racing.

Blaze emits a soft sigh as he spread his legs slightly and gently pushes me down so that he slips inside of me, and my mouth falls open in a gasp. He slowly starts a sweet rhythm of rocking me up and down his long hard-on, stroking my walls until he's sheathed inside to the hilt. I feel him in my tummy. I bite my lip hard as his other hand returns to my bottom.

"Like this?"

I nod rapidly.

He holds me so effortlessly, as though I weigh nothing, as he glides me off him, and then down along his upright length again, each time touching somewhere new inside of me. "Blaze..." Oh my God, he's really good. I dig my nails in his shoulder blades and spread my knees wider to help him. Although, he doesn't need my help, I think he could hold me up with one hand. He starts a sexy rhythm of slowly sliding me up and then slowly down again, his fingers sinking into the flesh of my butt cheeks, creating red fingerprints of where his touch has been. Oh my God, he's gonna ruin me. The muscles in his arms bulge and flex as he does this, breath hot and minty, and he kisses me on my ear.

"You're so sexy." He whispers, and I melt to nothing. I cling to him for dear life, feeling the blissful outcome steadily approaching, quicker than I can ever imagine, because what he's doing to me feels too good.

The wetness of my skin and the wetness between my legs create a hot melody that has me tingling to a fever pitch.

"You're close, aren't you?" Blaze asks against my neck, and I nod.

His breath is hard and fast as he thrust his hips to meet my strokes. Then everything happens suddenly. A burst of light comes behind my eyes, and for a second, I can't breathe or think. I moan his name, tightening my thighs around him as I become undone.

But he doesn't let me go, even as I thrash in his hands, shaking so hard I feel my breath leaving my body.

While I return to earth, Blaze continues to pound me gently.

"Want to ride me on the floor?" He whispers against the side of my face, and I nod again, unable to form words with the way my body isn't mine anymore.

Blaze lowers himself to the wet floor and takes me there with him. I breathe through my lips and slowly but carefully lower myself onto his length again, and he bites his lip and tips his head against the wall.

"Do it like you don't want to leave me..." He whispers gently, peering at me through half-closed, lidded eyes, filled with so much longing. "Show me you don't want to go, Harmony..."

A lump forms in my throat, making it so hard to breathe, as I place my hands on his shoulders and start moving on top of him. I circle my hips, lifting up slightly so that I can slide up and down his penis. Blaze reaches up to my waist and rubs me there.

I watch the pleasure changing the shade of his eyes to a dark blue, the color of his skin to a flaming pink more and more.

"You make me feel so good, Harmony..." He closes his eyes, his chiseled jawline clenching hard. "So good. I love you so much, you have no idea..."

I lean over, still stroking him gently as I press my lips against his. He has no idea what he does to me...

••

•Few Days Later•

Blaze

I stand in front of Harmony's mother's house. Something about the white, two-story abode looks extremely homey, different from the one I grew up in. I've never been the type to beg anyone. Certainly never been the type to ask for anything politely, either. But I can't lose Harmony. No way in fucking hell. So if I have to get on my knees and beg like a pauper, believe me, I will.

Love. My brain is hay-wired, all my nerve responses are tangled in the wrong place, but I'm not obtuse, so I know that love is what I'm feeling. There are no other explanations for these overwhelming emotions coming at me all at once, filling my bloodstream and veins and morphing me into this strange and new person.

It's scary, but it feels good all at the same time.

I couldn't sleep all night, even with Harmony lying next to me, wrapped around me like a safe haven. I couldn't think; I couldn't function, knowing she would have to leave me soon. I don't even want to think about the person I'll become if she walks away from me. I wouldn't be able to handle it at all. Who I was before I met her, is someone I never want to be ever again.

I'm not trying to hold her by the neck by being a weird and obsessive creep. If she wants to leave, I won't force her to stay, although I'd probably bawl my eyes out like a baby...for the second time. But truly, I know Harmony doesn't want to leave me. Her mom is just bent on breaking us up.

I've gotten a touch of light, and the dark doesn't entice me like it used to. Emotions suck. But they make you feel alive, they make you breathe, live, they make you look forward to something.

And for Harmony, I don't mind feeling them.

I ring the doorbell. My hands are sweaty. Am I nervous? Fuck. I haven't been this nervous since Liz tried to pinch off a chunk of my skin with tweezers.

I'm no virgin. I've...had sex with a few women. But Harmony should know that she's my first for a lot of things.

The door swings open, and the older version of the woman I love so much is narrowing her eyes at my presence, probably wondering if she should just slam the door in my face. To be genuinely honest, I was so rude to Harmony's mom on our previous meetings, but people act that way when their happiness is being threatened. She could relate.

Listen, I don't give a fuck if she likes Blake. Just...I want Harmony. I'll always want her. If they want us to become a family of anathema, then they could go for it. I just don't want her to take Harmony away from me.

"What do you want?" She places her hands on her hips, then worry quickly replaces her displeasure. She doesn't trust me one fucking bit. "What's wrong with Harmony?"

"She's okay..." I say, "I just want to talk to you."

"To me?" Her head jerks to the side and she levels me with a look. "Why? No way in hell. No. I will not approve of you both. You're no good for my daughter, Blaze Xander, and I suggest you stay away from her."

"Why exactly?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why exactly am I not good for Harmony?"

I genuinely want to know. When I shedded those tears in front of her the other morning at Homewood, I realized no other human being could pull those feelings out of me, and I genuinely want to be good for her. I want to stay with her for a lifetime. I may be shy and a bit uncomfortable (which is a first for me) to shout my love for her from the mountaintops, but I'll get there someday.

Haylee releases a sigh. "You know that more than anybody else, why you aren't good for her. Have a good afternoon—"

She is about to slam the door when I reach out and press my palm against it, prying it open. "I understand." I swallow. "I get it. I don't have a good history with people." I slide my hands into my pockets and sigh. "Plus, I know you like Blake..."

Her face reddens as she crosses her arms. "He told you that? Your father and I—"

"You don't need to explain yourself. Love is love." I shrug my shoulders uncaringly. "You have a thing for my Dad, and you're mad about Harmony and I because it won't work out for you, if we're together. I do understand that. And do I blame you? No. I don't. Because emotions...I mean, I don't know a lot about them but they aren't so easy to control. So I get it. You've found something to heal you and you want to hold onto it."

She looks away in discomfort, still upholding her hard countenance. God, I suck at convincing people, but I'm trying.

"It's the same for Harmony and me," I say quickly. "I'm not playing a pity card here. But I've had a really...messed up life. My mom, she...committed suicide."

She slides her eyes back to me.

"And even before that, she used to...do some things to me. I'm not telling you this for you to feel sorry for me because I hate pity more than anything. But ever since I met Harmony, I mean, my life has changed for the better. I love Harmony Skye. I've never loved anyone else, the way I love your daughter. Truthfully, I don't love anyone else but your daughter. I can't love anyone else but her. Please...please just leave us alone. I can't lose her..."

My eyes burn as I stand there like a homeless man begging for food. Harmony's mom stares at me, and there's something different in her eyes, though she's still trying to be insensitive.

"No. You can't be with her..." She says, then gestures to close the door again when I press my hand against it, prying it open. Harmony is nineteen. Nineteen. She can choose who she wants to be with. But I don't say that.

I take a deep breath and slowly went down on my knees. I'll beg, then. I'll do anything. Harmony's mom paled instantly, her eyes widening. She looks up and down the street.

"W-What are you doing?"

I place my palms on my knees and look down at the ground. "Please. I really, really can't lose her. I love her so much, Ms. Skye. I won't love anyone else. I've just started to feel something...and I don't want to let go of the feeling...please..."

She shuffles on her feet in unease and crosses her arms. "Get up."

"I don't know how I'll live without her if she should go away. I'm not prepared for it. Please...just don't take her away from me."

Haylee sighs loudly, her shoulders lifting all the way to her neck, then she shakes her head more than once. "I'm-I'm sorry, son. I just...Goodbye..." She reaches for the door and shuts it. Right in my face.

Well, fuck.

**

Driving back to Homewood in my car, there's something in my head telling me there's something else to be done. I don't feel complete. Maybe because Harmony's mom didn't give me a definite answer. Maybe because she's more than likely gonna take her daughter away from me after the talent show.

I make an abrupt U-turn, gyrating off the road that lies between Harmony's mom's house and Homewood and onto the adjacent province.

Now here I am, in front of Mal's house.

What am I doing? What exactly am I doing? Knowing Harmony could leave me has given me a rude awakening, and now I'm not operating like myself at all.

I'm trying to look good for the man on the moon, hoping he'll have some mercy on me and let her stay.

I know Mal won't let me see Maddie right now, if ever, and I sure as hell still detest her for what she's done to Harmony, but I won't feel at ease unless I make amends.

I pull down my glove compartment and retrieve a piece of paper and a pen. I start scribbling. Kite deserves me fucking him up the way that I did. I'd do it a thousand times over. He should've known better. But Maddie isn't right in the head, so of course, she didn't know any better...

Dear Maddie,

What you did was fucked up—

I erase that, deciding it's too...harsh of a language. Not that it looks harsh to me. It's just...Harmony would say otherwise.

Dear, Maddie.

What you did was wrong. But I know you don't know any better. Doesn't mean I forgive you for it. You don't love me at all. Your brain is only tricking you into thinking you love me. I ain't shit anyway. There are plenty of great guys out there that will love you for who you are. But I love Harmony, and I don't see myself ever letting her go. That doesn't mean you aren't...

I chew on my lip, trying to find the correct word.

— "attractive...

No.

Shit. It's so hard.

— "an okay person...but I believe there is someone out there for everyone. Wish you all the best, hope your brain comes back, and I'll apologize to Harmony on your behalf. I still can't forgive you. But I understand.

Wish you all the best,

Blaze.

Corny as fuck. But I've been corny all day, so one more time won't hurt at all.

I climb out of the car, shut the door, and make my way up the steps to Mal's house. I knock once, then twice.

The door opens to who I expected it to open to. He probably already saw my car parked out here for over forty minutes.

"What do you want?" Mal's nostrils flare, and his skin is already paper-white. He's looking for a fight, but I'm not in the mood today.

"Are your parents home?" I ask, slapping the paper against my hand. It's the weekend, so I was thinking they'd be home. Maybe I'd have had a better chance at handing Maddie the paper myself if they were. Mal hates my ass.

"No." He says, anger oozing from his voice. "You should leave, Blaze."

"I have something I'd..." I look down, using my thumb to flip the edge of the folded paper. "I'd like to give something to Maddie."

"Are you fucking crazy, Blaze?" He shoves me in the chest, and I stagger on the porch step. Wow. I bite the side of my cheek. Why the fuck do I want to smile? It's wrong timing, Blaze. "You better leave. Or I swear, I'll call the cops."

"Relax. I don't want the trouble." I slip a hand into my pocket. "Just give her the paper, then."

"No. I won't." Mal snares, then turns to walk away.

"Look, I'm just trying to clear up some stuff, do you understand? I'm not looking for trouble."

"You are. What you're doing is stirring her up,