Part II| Can't Give You Up, Won't Give You Up

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"Love me, don't let goodbyes come too easy." —Jessie Reyez.

Chapter Theme Song: 'Apple Juice' by Jessie Reyez.

••

Harmony

I stare at my mother with wide, bewildered eyes, trying to decipher if what she said was really what I heard.

"I know it's too soon, but he's the medicine that I need right now, Harmony. Mr. Blake is a great man, and I don't know, he makes me feel so alive..."

This is not happening.

"Mom..." I swallow hard, trying to think of a way to change her mind about the man, whose son I am in love with. "Mom, you really cannot date Mr. Blake."

Okay, that came out a bit harsh.

"What?" She wipes her eyes.

I exhale heavily. "You can't be with him, Mom..."

"Sweetheart, I know it seems as though I am betraying your father, but I cannot control my feelings. He's a great man, and he would be a great father figure to you and Eli and—"

"Mom," I interject. "You cannot date him...because..." I sigh again while she watches me closely. "Because I am in love—"

"I know it is hard for you to imagine me being with anyone else outside of your father. I know that, but Mr. Blake? He's a good man; he's trustworthy and funny, and he makes me laugh so much. I haven't been genuinely happy in a while. He erases all the frustration and heartache from my past; I wish you'd understand."

I should have seen this coming. I should have expected this, seeing how she trusted him to have let me slept the night at his house.

It hasn't been that long since they met; how could she have fallen for him this fast? But who am I to judge? It took me approximately one minute to have fallen into those eyes of Blaze on that orientation night.

I slump my shoulders. This is hard; so hard. I was not expecting this. But Blaze told me. He told me that something was sparking between them. Why didn't I listen? But even if I had, that would not have stopped her from falling for him.

"I just wish you'd approve, baby. I am so sorry that I have feelings for someone other than your father. I am really sorry, Harmony."

I look away, closing my eyes and attempting to gather my scattered thoughts. This is just too much, even for the notorious Harmony Skye who had her body pictured on a cellphone. This? This is the real deal; this is the real dilemma that I never saw coming.

"Harmony, say something."

I frown. "I am thinking, Mom." I meet her teary eyes, and I feel my heart shatter at the sorrowful look on her face. I haven't seen my mom this vulnerable since that night we were at the hospital.

I blow my cheeks out. "Have you told him?"

"Not yet...I want to. He invited us over for dinner this weekend, so I was planning on telling him then. I can tell he feels the same, but we are both so scared. We have been through so much..."

I hold my forehead, trying to keep it together.

"He lost his wife, and I lost your father; it has been so rough for us. Sweetheart, just please be happy for me. I haven't been this contended in a while. Mr. Blake makes me happy."

I don't know what to say. I want to tell her that I am already in love with Blaze, but that would only splinter her fragile heart. I see the bliss in her eyes when she talks about the man; I see how happy he makes her.

But I love Blaze, and I can't lose him. I need to find a way to tell her, but I can't do it now, not when she's crying like this in front of me.

Maybe that's just me making excuses because I can't muster up the courage to do it. I am not supposed to be dating, according to her irrational rules, and the fact that I have been with Blaze for so long and haven't told her about it is another issue right there.

"I need some time," I tell her softly.

She nods. "Okay, honey, I'll give you time and space to think about it. I hope you know that I am not betraying your father. Come here."

She wraps her arms around me in a hug, patting my back while sobbing softly. "I love you, baby."

I force a smile but inside, I am breaking into a million unidentifiable pieces. "I love you too, Mom."

I close my eyes, laying my head against her shoulder and praying that this is all a nightmare.

A nightmare that I will soon wake up from.

••

I walk back to my dorm room and still haven't woken up. No sounds of alarms and no morning sun kissing my face. This is real. My mom has feelings for Mr. Blake whilst I am in love with the man's son. My life certainly couldn't get any more complicated than this.

I take a deep breath and open the door to my room. Blaze is lying on his side now. His head is rested in his palm while he chuckles, seemingly watching something on my laptop.

His teeth are so white and perfect as he laughs at the screen, and they remind me that his father's teeth are just as beautiful. But then I recall that my mother is in love with him, and my mood crashes even more.

I close the door behind me, and Blaze switches his focus from the movie and to me, a huge smirk on his face. "And she's back." He glances at the clock on the wall above him. "I was right. I knew it'd take you forty-five minutes top."

I force a smile, but I could have done a better job. He picks up on the sloppy attempt and narrows his eyes. "Are you okay?"

I sit beside him. "What are you watching?"

"A movie...a horror one, you won't like it."

I shake my head, a genuine smile surfacing my face. "No wonder you were smiling like that."

He chuckles. "Mm. Yeah..."

He closes the laptop and draws nearer to me. Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, he slips his gaze to my legs.

I know what that look means. Wow, he has a very high sex drive; I can't keep up.

He wraps his arms around me, and I scowl. "Blaze."

"What?" He chuckles, then kisses my cheek. "Say you don't want me too, babe..."

His words are low and seductive as he kisses his way down to my cleavage. It feels good, and I close my eyes and intake a breath. "I want you too, but I have to tell you something first..."

He unwillingly pulls back to look at me. "Something to tell me? About what?"

I turn so that I am facing him, and he cocks his head to the side, trying to read my expression while he raises a curious brow. "Did something happen?"

"It's my mom..."

"Okay?"

" She, um, has feelings for your dad," I reveal.

Blaze stares at me for a while, and then I watch how his face slowly hardens, his lips settling into a grim line.

He looks away and suspires deeply. "Why am I not surprised?" He breathes, rubbing a hand over his face. "I knew something was up with both of them."

I sigh. "What do we do now?"

He darts his eyes to me incredulously, scrunching his face up as if I spoke a different language. "What do you mean 'what do we do now'?"

I half-shrug, looking down at my fingers fretfully. "She's my mom, and she looks so happy when she—"

"Got to be fucking kidding me." Blaze hisses, dragging his hand through his hair. "Are you contemplating leaving me, so your mother can be with my dad?"

That's not what I was doing.

I shake my head, meeting his eyes. "That's not it."

"Sure sounds like it to me," he growls, getting off the bed angrily. I conjure up behind him, reaching out to grip his arm, but he turns around to face me. "I don't want a weak lover, yeah? So stop looking so dull like we are committing a sin. We were involved first before they even met, and I won't give you up just so they can be together. I am a selfish bastard, and I could care less about their feelings."

"She's still my mom, Blaze, don't talk like that." I frown, looking away.

He rests his hands on his waists, lowering his head and cursing profanities under his breath. "What did you say to her when she told you she has feelings for him?"

"I told her I needed time," I answer truthfully. "Because I do and—"

"Time to do what?"

"Time to think about it, Blaze."

"Harmony." He meets my eyes, and his gaze is stern. "You need time to think about it? To think about what? You should have told her from the start that she can't be with him because WE, you and I, are already involved!"

"Blaze, it's not that easy. I-I tried to tell her, but she was crying, and it hurts so much to see your mother in tears; it's like a constant pierce in the heart with a knife...you wouldn't understand." I lower my gaze.

Blaze nods, my words unintentionally hitting a nerve within him. "You're right; what does a Sociopath like me know about empathy, right?"

My gaze softens. "That's not what I meant."

"Sure, but that's what it sounded like. Harmony, listen, I don't care if they are in love, we found each other first and if they think I am going to give you up then they have a next guest coming. I won't give you up; why? Because you mean the world to me.... and I don't want to go back to who I was before we met."

I smile a little. I still manage to blush like an idiot amid all this chaos. I was not thinking of leaving him. How can I when I can't even remember who I was before we met? He's my everything now.

"I wasn't suggesting that we separate, Blaze," I assure him. "I don't want to leave you, and I don't want you leaving me either."

He inhales a sharp breath as if my words set his soul at ease and then steps up to me. He wraps his arms around my body and brings me in closer to him. "I won't leave you...and you can't leave me either, Harmony...you can't do that to me."

I look up at him; his eyes are so gentle and vulnerable. "I won't, Blaze. I can't leave you, and I won't..."

He smiles a little, then reaches down to kiss my forehead. I close my eyes at the feel of his lips against my skin.

He moves away and stretches behind me, grabbing his shirt. I watch him as he pulls it over his head in a swift.

"Where are you going?" I ask, searching his face.

"Paying my father a visit, don't stay up too late." He turns away, and I grasp his arm to stop him.

"Are you going to argue with him?"

He looks at me. "No, Harmony, we are just going to talk. Don't worry."

My face softens. "I want to come with you."

"No, it's best you—"

"Please?"

He sighs and thinks about it for a while. "Alright, come." He grips my arm and pulls me out with him.

••

The car ride is quiet, and I can tell Blaze has a lot on his mind. The night has fallen, and the moon stands high in the sky, pillowed by a few night clouds that make the horizon seem like something from an expensive painting.

I glance over at him, watching how his brows furrow while his hands clench and unclench around the steering wheel.

What is he thinking about? Punching Mr. Blake in the face? He wouldn't do that, right? But knowing Blaze, he probably would.

"Are you headed to his house?" I ask, looking around to see if we took this way the times before.

He shakes his head. "No, he won't be at home at this time. I am going to where he works. St. Vincent Police Station. He should be there."

"Are you sure that's okay? I mean, his workplace? What if we get him fired..."

"He won't get fired; he's the boss there anyway."

I nod my head.

He's silent again as he drives down the street. Soon we turn into a parking lot, and a large sign in lit bold letters stands on top of the two-story building.

ST. VINCENT POLICE STATION.

"Blaze, please don't punch him or anything crazy like that...." I mutter. "From the looks of it, my mom hasn't even told him how she—"

I trail off when I notice that he is not listening or hearing a word I am saying, considering his seatbelt is off and he's already out the door.

Quickly, I free myself from the straps and get out of the car. I close the door, trying to catch up with him, who is already stepping through the transparent doors of the building.

Illmanneredly, he steps past the front desk cop, who shakes his head and mutters, 'still a rude little brat,' and I guess even he is familiar with the incredulous behavior of Blaze Xander.

I give the man a polite smile and gesture that I am with Blaze. He just nods and sends me a fan of dismissal. I tell him a small thanks and walk hastily to catch up with the angry boy whose strides are like the wind.

Blaze opens the door to an office, and the cool air conditions greet us instantly. Mr. Blake looks up from a pile of files on a desk. He's wearing a brown uniform, with blue stripes at the sleeves and the title bar 'Mr. Blake Xander: Chief of Police' sits on his marble-tiled desk. The scent of papers and coffee permeates my senses as we stroll into the room.

"Blaze?" He's taken off-guard by the sudden visit. "Harmony? What are you kids doing here?"

"So much for keeping your word, huh?" Blaze starts with, and I bite my lip anxiously. His eyes darken on his father as the man tilts his head to the side, confused.

The tension is so thick that it's choking me.

I gulp. "I'll wait outside..." I leave the room expeditiously, giving Blaze and his father their much-needed privacy.

I stand at the door, just in case Blaze decides to do something disastrous. I know how catastrophic he can be. I just really hope this doesn't drive them farther apart.

••

Blaze

Blake exhales sharply. "What are you talking about, Blaze?"

I scoff. "Don't be stupid. I know what you did, okay?"

He opens his arms widely, a look of bafflement on his face. "With what?"

He looks so genuinely ignorant that he almost convinces me.

"You said you didn't feel anything for Harmony's mom, and now I heard that she is in love with you? I don't get why you always let this womanizing behavior of yours ruin my fucking life."

"Blaze." He sighs, rubbing his forehead. "Be clear, what do you mean she's in love with me?"

"She told Harmony today that she loves you!" I raise my voice.

He looks taken aback as his brows come together. "I...I have no idea what you are saying, Blaze; she never said that to me. At all."

"Well, you must have been giving the woman signals to make her fall for you, Blake; I am not stupid. Don't forget that I have been a front-row audience of your little 'charm' for years. You must have used your 'famous' trick on her, is that right?"

"Listen." He rises from his seat and comes around to meet me. "Blaze, I know it appears to you that I am involved with Haylee, but we are just friends. Concerning what she told her daughter, I have no idea about that; she said nothing like that to me."

I narrow my eyes. "Then tell me, what do you feel for her? Do you like her?"

He clears his throat and looks away. I take mental note of how his response delays and his face appears culpable. I get my answer.

"Ha," I snort in disbelief. "I knew it; you like the woman."

"Blaze, I am working. We will talk about this another time."

"You love the woman!" I yell. "You actually love the woman. I thought you were over this little womanizing mentality, but you're still the same. You're still using your hormones to mess my life up."

"Fine!" He sighs. "I like the woman. I have strong feelings for her. Is something wrong with that, Blaze? I like her a lot, and she makes me happy. Being around her makes me really happy. What? Am I not allowed to be happy too? God, for these last few years, I have only been focused on you, and you don't even care about how I am doing, Blaze!"

"I cannot understand why you are poking your nose in my life, Blake! Why couldn't you have fallen for someone else?! What do you think is going to happen? Huh? What, you're planning to be with her, marry her then have kids? Then what? Harmony and I become step-siblings? If you don't want a family of abomination, then you better back off, Blake. Because you and Haylee being together definitely won't stop me from being with Harmony. The sin will be on your shoulders, and we both know that a little 'sin' is nothing for someone like me to commit!"

"I didn't say I was going to be with the woman!" He raises his voice. "So put that arrogance aside! Furthermore.." He crosses his arms. "Even if Harmony becomes your step-sibling, what's the problem? Mm? She will still be around you every day. I think it's even best to have her as close as a sibling than a girl who you could leave at any minute."

"What do you mean?" My brows furrow ragingly at him.

"I mean, I don't trust you; I feel like you're going to hurt the poor girl. You always mess up a good thing."

"And you don't? You ruined Liz, remember that? You cheated on her and made her condition far worse; you ruined a good thing! Not me!"

I can tell my words bruise his feelings, and his jaw tightens. "Fine...I had an affair whilst being married to your mother, I was lonely at the time, and I was stressed with everything happening with her health and you and—"

"Let me remind you that you didn't even help me when you knew I was being abused by her, so don't act like the victim. You're not, Blake."

His eyes are glossy as he presses his palm over his mouth and breathes in. "Fine, I am to be blamed as well. Don't you think I know that? I have spent years lecturing myself, I spent years self-loathing, thinking about how Liz would still be alive and how you would be a normal kid if I had just taken everything a lot more seriously than my job. I paid not much attention to you guys, and I am sorry. But are you going to hold it over my head all your life? I apologized so often, Blaze."

"What use is an apology when the damage is already done? I am already fucked up."

Blake sighs. He has no idea what to say to that statement; he knows it's the truth. He rubs a hand over his face. "I invited Haylee over for dinner with us Saturday; she said she wants to tell me something. I will tell her then. I will let her know that we can't be together. I will put my feelings aside, for you Blaze. Your happiness comes first for me so I will lay my feelings on the backburner. I owe that to you anyway.... "

I don't know how, but hearing that last statement from him, I begin to feel an emotion close to guilt. I have never been remorseful to my father or anyone aside from Harmony. Something must be wrong with me.

I rake a hand through my hair. "Please. Harmony is my happiness; don't ruin it."

Blake glares at me, and a small light of amazement shines in his blue eyes. "D-did you just say please?"

That word. I wouldn't normally say it to him unless I am yelling a point across to him. This time, my tone is genuine and pleading, almost as if I am begging him not to intervene. This is new to me, I can feel myself changing, and my dad can probably feel it too.

I swallow. "I am leaving..."

I turn away from him and walk out, leaving him standing at his desk, puzzled.

••

Harmony

Blaze walks out of the room but halts his steps when he sees me standing at the door. I know he can tell that I heard everything, even the point about me being his happiness.

His cheeks are on fire, and he scratches his neck. "Let's go."

He walks away, and I smile a little. That was sweet. His tone and actions were far different than the Blaze I once knew.

I knock on Mr. Blake's open door before entering awkwardly. He seems deep in thought, but as soon as he hears my footsteps, he looks up at me with a light smile. "I thought you left."

I shake my head. "I was outside. I wanted to talk to you."

"Sure." I can tell from his eyes that he is worried about the earlier confrontation with his son. He sits back against his desk as he waits for me to

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