It's Not Logics When It Comes To You

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"I can't say no. Though the lights are on there's nobody home. Swore I'd never lose control then I fell in love with a heart that beats so slow." Troye Sivan ft. Alex Hope.

Chapter Theme Song: 'Blue' by Troye Sivan ft. Alex Hope.

A/N: Please listen to the above song :)

••

Harmony

Blaze is a Sociopath. I have heard a few things about it in the movies, but I had no idea I would meet someone with the condition in real life.

It means he lacks the emotion of empathy and all those feelings that make you "human." He cares for no-one, he trusts no-one, and sadly, he loves no-one. Which is exactly why he tends to use girls and exactly why he can't tell me that he likes me.

Now that I know this, I realize that what he did, approaching me to get between my legs, was totally unintentional. He really can't help it.

Based on reading and watching fiction films, I know that Sociopaths can get a little violent, and that explains why he is often so short-tempered and would stab someone in a heartbeat. I also know that they make perfect delinquents. All these factors about him that people judge him for is totally against his will, and he does not deserve these negative criticisms at all.

"Is the news that shocking?" He says, snapping me from my evaluative thoughts. "I didn't mean to scare you, but you wanted to know so I told you."

I shake my head. "I won't..."

He looks at me, and his expression is skeptical. "You won't what?"

"I won't leave you. That's not enough for me to just walk right out."

"What would be enough?" He interrogates, shifting his body so that he is now directly facing me. "Would me, killing someone, be enough?"

He's trying to scare me, but I am not afraid at all.

"Nothing," I state. "Nothing will be enough for me to leave you."

His expression relaxes at my answer, and he looks almost...relieved?

"I still can't trust your words," he mutters. "Even though we did an invisible contract earlier."

"Do you want to seal it then? With something that could replace a pen and paper?"

He looks at me. "Like what?"

I loom closer without a second thought and plant my lips against his.

It catches him off guard, and he's blinking his eyes confoundedly. Soon he lays down his eyelids and begins to move his lips against mine. The kiss is slow and pure and isn't one that would lead to sex. It is just a mixture of my loyalty to him and reassurance that I won't leave his side despite knowing his dark secret.

Our mouths break apart, and he looks down at me, searching my eyes with his.

I swallow. "The contract is sealed."

I gesture to draw away from him when he grips my arm and pulls me closer. Our eyes connect, and it feels like our souls immediately connect as well.

"Do you know what you just did?"

I nod.

"You just signed yourself away to me," he whispers. "That's like selling your soul."

"Except that my soul is still mine." I smile a little.

His lips quirk up. "Then what did you sell to me just now? Your heart?"

If only he knew that I had already given him that since the first day I met him. But I can't say that; he wouldn't feel it now, would he?

I sit up straighter. "I don't understand something."

"What?" He pushes his hair back from his forehead.

"You can't feel care for anyone, right? But that day you fought Leo in the Caf for April. Isn't that caring for her?"

"Well, that's the peculiar thing," he breathes. "I work with Logics. So, logics say 'you should protect your family members' so I do that because if I don't, it would be too weird and my condition will be out in the open. Based on observation, people defend their relatives, so I guess that's what I work by. But I can't feel the actual care for her like I would want to; it sounds bad, but I can't help it. I think part of it was also the selfish fact that I am so arrogant that I thought Leo was more disrespecting me by touching my cousin to get back at me. I was more concerned with the fact that he was trying to piss me off than actually caring about April...it's complicated; I know." He shakes his head.

"No, no, it's not; it's interesting," I say truthfully. "I just find you intriguing, that's all. But you defended me against Mr. Jones. Was that logics as well?"

He shakes his head again. "No. It's not."

"Really? Then what was it?"

"I don't know. I mean, April is my cousin, so logics would make me defend her, but normally I wouldn't care to defend any other female. I am naturally unbothered when it comes to people. But you... I don't work with logic when it comes to you. I work with a weird and foreign feeling that I can't quite describe. It's just this feeling and a need to protect you, or I can't seem to focus."

I stare at him; his words are indeed reaching somewhere deep within me.

"So you..." I drop my gaze, too timid to look into his face while I ask what I will next. "So, you care about me, then?"

There is a small gap before he finally replies. "Yes... I do."

I meet his eyes. "How... how come?"

He shrugs his shoulders, seeming genuinely confused. "I don't know. I told you before that I feel something. I didn't say that to have sex with you, Harmony."

I nod. "I know...I know now."

A small silence falls upon us before he speaks again. "I am sorry."

I look at him. Based on what I have watched in the movies, Sociopaths seldom say sorry, and even if they do, they usually don't mean it. It is a word often used for manipulation or mind control, a way for them to acquire what they want from another person. But Blaze's expression is so solemn and intense that I can tell that the words he just uttered weren't fables at all.

"What are you sorry for?"

"For doing things to hurt you these past days."

I shake my head. "No... it's okay. I think I understand you now; I really do."

"It's not an excuse, though. I made you cry so much."

I shift closer to him and press a palm against his cheek, feeling as his body loosens under my touch. "No. It's really okay, Blaze. Let it go because I have."

He smiles at me, and his dimples almost knock me off the bed. He is so beautiful.

His glowing eyes dip to my lips, and he moves his head in and kisses me. My body slackens with a sigh at how good his flesh feels against mine. So good that I wonder if we could make babies just by kissing. The clean scent of his mouth mixed with the tangy smell of beer is gratifying, and I realize that I prefer to taste alcohol from his lips than from the actual container.

Our lips and tongues are dancing together to a perfect pattern, and our bodies are moving in closer to each other. I can feel the warmth radiating from him. His hands rest on my waists, and he squeezes them firmly into his palms but abruptly breaks the kiss and blows his cheeks out.

"Uh..." He looks away. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

Okay, we were just kissing and he suddenly stops to watch a movie?

My eyes drop to the large tent formed at the front of his pants, and my cheeks flush red.

Okay. I see why he stopped.

"S-sure," I say, but the uneasiness in my tone is brightly obvious.

He ruffles his hair and gets off the bed fast. "I'm going to get changed; you can look through Netflix until I'm through."

I smile. "Okay."

He walks to his drawer and pulls out a fresh suit of clothes before disappearing into the bathroom. I grab the remote and fight to get rid of the vibrant blushes on my face.


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