Promise to never love

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Chapter- 29
3rd person pov

(Police was searching the area around the cottage to find if there is any more weapons or other dangerous stuff)

NK got up from the floor, with limp to walk with difficulty due to his injured leg and sat down on the chair with his head between his hands.

He laughs through his tears, the laugh reflecting his defeat while the tears is unintelligible. The tears flowing painfully by the curve of his lips which has deep cuts from all the punches thrown at his face. He looks up to Arnav with still hateful eyes "demon?me? Let's guess when i became one. Was it the time when you and your family decided to accept me just for the sake of emberesment Or was it the time when i saw nothing but hatered and pity in your family's eyes."

"Hatered? Pity? We accepted you as one of our family member and di, she thinks of you as her own brother but you are such a treacherous person to even notice her and everyone's love for you." Arnav helps khusi to stand properly.

"Love? You say love? You and your family always had problems with me, my choices, my way of living life. Everyone looked down upon me. why?Just because I don't share the Same blood line so you all can't even trust me, thinking i will bring disgress to your family. Brother you say? A sister who throws out her brother from his rightful property? Is it sisterly Love?You can't fool me Arnav Singh Raizada, this Nand Kishore is not that 5 years old child anymore whom you can brainwash with you fake love"NK stares at his now unfolded hands, if given the chance he would have killed someone.

Khusi glances in between Arnav and Nk in confusion. Half of their talks not making any sense in her view. Taniya just looking anywhere but khusi's face, even though she was feeling the same complexity like khusi. Rahul on the other hand standing between two police constables, looking down at the handcuffs with a blank face and completely ignoring all the drama around him.

Khusi once again takes a glance at Arnav who is still mentioning a passive face but his eyes looks lost somewhere in the past.

Twenty years ago
Arnav-7 years old
Anjali-10 years old
Nk- 5 years old

Arnav's pov

As a kid seeing your mother who always covered her sadness under the veil of a bright simle, crying like a child and screaming at the same time is the most disheartening scene which anyone could imagine which is yet playing right infront of me.

Standing infront of the slightly open door of my mother's room, i can hear all the arguments, accusations, screaming of my family.

My long lost dad has finally came back to us. It should have been the happiest moment for everyone right, only if he came alone and not with his new son.

I saw my mom being upset over her husband's sudden intentional missing yet hoping her husband to come back home oneday though she never expressed her feelings loudly.

Today is an exception, she let out all her feelings. I had no interest in all these arguments, i just wanted my mother to cut all the ties with this man who made her cry, i can't see my mother like this.

Naniji beside my howling mother, is telling her son in law to explain what made him do this. Though i was only seven years old but i was not dumb to not understand that man putting all the blames on my mother saying she was a bad wife and couldn't take care of her husband.

Then an unexpected thing happened, my mom placed a strong slap on his face and the sound was loud enough for even a dead man to hear.

I knew he deserves way back when I came to realized his hatered for my sister just because she has a problem with her leg, insulting my mother because she was not as educated as him, trying to manipulate me against them. He used to come and go from our lifes just like a Strom but the last time he went only to come after a one long year with this suprise to throw on my mother's dignity.

I ran back to my room and sat on my bed with my hands over my ears to unhear all the bad words that man was using to describe my mother after that slap. I was startled by the sobbing sound comming from under the bed.

I bend my head over the edge of the bed, di looked at me with her red and swollen eyes, keeping her keens close her chest.

She was scared so i went under the bed and sat beside her listening to her now silent sobs. She moves her hands which were keeping her keens together clutching my hands tightly, She was scared herself and still she wanted me to feel safe. That day i made my mind to protect my family all my life, with all the hatered i had for my father i will never become one like him.

We sat there for few hours which felt like an iternity. soon the room was filled with pindrop silence, there was no noise of crying , no murmur voice coming from the other room. I turned to look at the person next to me who is sound asleep and soon after that i felt asleep too.

I woke up from the weird dream i had, my forehead was covered with sweats not just because we were still under the bed but the dream itself was enough to send chills through my spine.i removed di's hands from mine and placed her body gently on the ground, she was thin yet heavy for me to move her back to bed.

I moved urgently towards my mother's room. I felt a breeze of relief on seeing my mother sleeping on lap of my Nani who is gently patting her head while murmuring some Lullaby.

Who would have knew that it was only the silence before the storm. Not even after a month that's man's side wife comes to our door with the news ofΒ  her husband's death and leaving her son on our doorstep.

These days mother's gloomy face seems weaker and weaker with each passing day no matter how much she tries to act like everything is all right and now this news came as a curse making everyone worry about how will she react to these even though that man left us but there was still an excuse that he is happy and alive even without my mother which is also taken away from her today.

My mother accepts that boy who will make her remind of her husband's betrayal everyday. Neither of my family members were happy regarding this decision except dadiji's mouth which was continuously criticising my mother for not keeping her husband in her side.

That night before sleeping my mother asked me to come to her room. I opened the door and jumped to her bed where she was sitting, hugging her tightly i repeat the words of protecting her which she replied by giving me a bright smile only if i could have noticed her sadness behind that.

"Chota! I know you all are trying your best to cope up with all the things crashing down on our lives." She patted my shoulder proudly, acting like she has adjusted with the environment already.

"Mom! Don't worry i will take care of my family and our lifes will be much more nicer, i will study hard."hearing these she mumured something along the line her willing of living lost the battle, i can't hear properly.

"Did you say something?" I asked her, trying to hide my head in the crock of her covered lap playfully to cheer her up.

"Chota listen to me carefully. i know your small but you are responsible for what i have observed. Anjali gets scared and carried away easily by trusting the wrong people just like me." She said taking me out of the crock and holding me in place by my shoulder.

"Re-possible?" My seven years old self failing to understand even after people considering myself smart from others.

She explained me with a geniune laugh and tears in her eyes which i thought was because of my pronounciation only if i knew her true feelings
"Res- pon- si -ble, umm it means protecting other with one's understanding, love, taking their care unselfishly".

"Oww ohk i will be res-spon-sibal and do everything for you, di and Naniji. I promise" i clicked my thumb with hers.

"You may not be able to pronounce or understand the depth of the word and even me but one day my little love you will. But for now promise me you will be responsible and take care of your family including everyone you have know as your own till now even your new brother. I'm sorry to make you go through and take such big promise from you" she kissed my forehead multiple times saying nothing but sorry.

"I promise you, i will do whatever you are telling me. I will even take care of that little boy i mean brother" After kissing my forehead for the last time, she send me to my room.

The next we woke up by the sound of Naniji's crying, not expecting to see our mother's hanging body.

Naniji, di everyone was crying but in my head i was waiting for my mother to say something or for someone to wake me up from these nightmare but nothing such happened instead i found myself cremating her dead body.

Naniji continued crying and patting my back so that i let out my emotions and cry atleast for once. She believed i will be traumatized just like my mother.
But the only thing going around my head was why? Why the love for her children wasn't strong enough to live for? Was love for your significant other is so strong that it makes the individual weak?

If love means losing yourself
If love makes one weak
Then i promise to myself to never love someone
To never make anyone superior to my family
My family, my sister, my brother will come first to me.
I will keep my promise to her but i will never be her

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A/N - This chapter was mostly like a back story of little Arnav. Just hoping it wasn't that boring πŸ˜ƒ

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