❝I'm a-okay, I'm good as gold and I can do better❞
- Alessia Cara, Trust My Lonely.

"I couldn't have heard right. Another history test?"

Harper rolled her eyes, "Girl, we heard the same thing."

My mind instantly went to River and then I groaned inwardly.

This was so hard, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad. It was Friday today. I could go over to Kaleb's on Sunday and read my history text to him. Not bad.

"Hey, why'd Mr. Matthews say we have to retake the test?" I heard Harper one of our classmates, Mason.

"Apparently, he wasn't satisfied with our grades in the first test," he rolled his eyes.

"But the same man said at the beginning of the class that we all did well," she sighed.

Mason shook his head, "I don't know. He probably remembered his wife didn't blow him last night and got pissed all over again."

Me and Harper burst into laughter even as Mason walked off.

"How did he even think of that?" I asked when my laughter subsided.

"I have no idea," she chuckled. "So, are you going for the party tonight?"

"Kaleb did tell me about it, but nah," I shook my head. "How about you?"

"Yep," she nodded. "At least I'll get to see Jace. Why aren't you attending?"

"I have work," I answered.

"So? You can always take the night off."

"Oh God, where are the good teens of this world? You're not suggesting that I ditch work too," I laughed and Harper chuckled.

"Come on," she said. "We are American teens. We consider rebelling once in a while. I'd really love for you to come for the party, though. But if you're working, then no pressure."

"I might reconsider."

"I told you we all consider rebelling once in a while."

We laughed, but Harper appeared startled all of a sudden.

"Oh my. Why's Logan Carter looking here?" She gushed. "Hold on. It's you, Renee. It's you he's looking at."

I looked at Logan who was now making his way to me. When he got to me, Harper smiled, saying, "I'll just leave you two," and then she walked away.

I smiled up at Logan, "Hi."

"Hey, you perky human," he grinned while I playfully rolled my eyes, "I hope you're doing fine, Logan."

He shrugged, "I am living. I was wondering if you were coming for the party tonight at Kaden's."

"That's what I was just discussing with Harper, and I'm reconsidering actually being there."

He had a light smile on his face, "You should come."

In front of me was a really cute guy who had liked me for a while now. Maybe I should just be with and see how it would go? No, I couldn't do that. That was wrong, but River had someone else...

I looked at Logan and nodded, "Fine. I will try to be there."

He ruffled my hair, "I'll be expecting you."

*****

Marnie and Zuri were laughing about something but I wasn't paying attention. I mean, I was at first, but somewhere along the line, I zoned out.

I was thinking. Party or not?

I could always go to the party after work. Plus, it was at Kaleb's, meaning I had no problem about feeling awkward or uncomfortable or I could just go home and be in the comfort of my bed.

I hated that I was so indecisive and I ended up shrugging. Whatever happens, happens.

"Zuri, you have to be here tomorrow," Sky told the short brunette before looking at me and Marnie, "Marnie and Renée, you can have the day off. And why's River not here yet?" She muttered the last part to herself.

"Who's River?" Zuri asked.

"The extremely cute guy who sits almost at the left side of the bakery," Marnie quipped.

At this time, she and Sky were already looking at me and I felt awkward.

"Oh, I know him," Zuri clapped her hands. "He looks super hot. River's his name? Shit, that's even hotter. Oh God, my ovaries."

"Oh, my Lord," I chuckled at her bluntness, covering my mouth.

"Shush, Zuri," Sky said while Marnie laughed maniacally and Sky continued, "You're by far older than he is."

Zuri rolled her eyes, "So? If Harry Styles could date someone twice his age, there's nothing stopping me."

"Don't use my future husband in such an instance again," Marnie frowned while Zuri shrugged, "It's not a lie, though."

"Zuri, you should stick with your boyfriend. A blind person can tell Ryder is deeply and madly in love with you and you love him too. Marnie, you can keep fantasizing about a celebrity that doesn't know you exist-" Marnie started to say something, but Sky's voice was stronger, "- but just leave the very talented River for someone who is actually his age and has an attraction for."

I looked to Sky wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

"No, no, no," I felt my cheeks redden.

Zuri's eyes widened, "Is she and River-"

My cheeks were burning as I shook my head.

After a while of teasing, my face was flushed. My face was still flushed when I was done for the day. River had come in late and immediately he got in, he got started with his work. I still missed how he would come in and walk straight to the counter just so he could talk to me.

"We have to talk," River said to me the moment I left the counter, my bag over my shoulder.

I chuckled lightly, walking. "What's there to talk about?"

"Well, we can start with you telling me what you're upset about."

"Who says I'm upset about anything?"

"No one needs to say it. I can tell something's wrong, but I can't place a finger on it."

"You can't place a finger on it, huh?" I looked him in his eyes.

"I can't," he looked back, shaking his head.

"Then, drop it," I shrugged.

"I would have dropped it if I was able to, but I can't."

I was trying not to be a jerk about this. And yeah, maybe he was being sincere right now, but I just didn't want to be involved with him that way if he had someone, so I said quietly, "Forget it, River."

"I can't. I miss you," his voice was firm. "And not just you, but actually having you around. I miss talking to you. I miss having fro-yo, talking about random rubbish and laughing. It's been a week and things have been different. It's driving me crazy, Renée and if at all you want to stop talking, you need to tell me why."

"No, you're the one meant to tell me why. Why, River?" My arms flailed around me.

"Why what?" He asked in a quiet voice laced with confusion.

I felt anger surge through me. The fact that he was clueless and acting all innocent annoyed me, and in a breathy explosion of words, I said, "Why did you make me fall so hard for you? Why did you keep spending time with me? Why did you kiss me, not once, but twice?..." By this time, my voice was running quiet. He looked at me, his features soft even as he looked like he had something to say. "- Why didn't you tell me you had someone?"

River ran his fingers through his hair, swallowing hard and opened his mouth, but I cut him short before hearing what he had to say.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I saw you and her last Friday, River. And she's flawless. So, why did you keep spending so much time with me?" I felt my eyes well with tears, so I quickly said, "Bye, River."

I was going home.

But when I got home, there was Tanner and Kendall making out heavily on the couch.

Was that the only thing they loved to do?

I closed the door.

I was going to the party.

●

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